Here at Razzball, besides doling out fantasy baseball advice, we also host a contest to field the worst fantasy baseball team. The worst fantasy baseball league signups are just about at capacity, but if you’re finding us late in the preseason, you might still be able to get in, or not. I really have no idea. That’s Rudy’s department. But I’m in one of these leagues, so I thought I’d share with you my fantasy baseball worst top 20 list. When I did my worst fantasy baseball rankings, it took far longer than for my other leagues. You literally have to change every single default ranking (except Howie Kendrick who was about 150 regularly and turned out to be about the same after reranking– there’s always one, I tell ya!). Just a few words about these schmohawks, catchers are all bad, excluding about 5 guys, so there’s no reason to grab a catcher early. But, even with that said, I couldn’t lower Kendall past 10th overall. He’s just too awfully good. Also, there were no pitchers in my top 75. Again, there are so many terribly terrific pitchers, it was hard to move Carlos Silva up. Though, I really wanted to. Finally, just because someone is in my best worst fantasy baseball top 20, it doesn’t mean I absolutely hate them. Steals aren’t counted, so Bourn, Taveras, etc.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Because Casey Kotchman is most noteworthy (in my eyes) for having the longest known case of mononucleosis, it makes sense he’d be considered a sleeper. Only, not necessarily, a fantasy baseball sleeper. More like a Prince Valium one. After the trade to the Braves last year, Casey Kotchman hit 2/20/.237. “Write him off as a once interesting prospect that never reached his potential,” says some random crotchety old baseball scout. I hear ya, random old baseball crotchety scout, but I find something making me keep come back to him. Sorta like my man-wood for Alex J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Remember the blonde chick from the The Real World: Hawaii, who, like, totally fell for Colin? She was the cute girl with the young grandmother body. You know who I’m talking about? Cool. Yeah, she’s not Kendry Morales. Kendry Morales is the doode that the Angels are putting in as their starting 1st baseman. Joly Hesus! A prospect that is going to be playing 1st for an AL team that scores runs like an NL team! How did you miss that, right? Pretty easily. He’s sizz-ucked in his limited time in the majors. In 127 games in the Majors, he’s sitting on a career line of 12/45/.249 with no speed. If you were a Benihana chef, you’d cut the tail of those numbers and flip ‘em into your hat. So what is it that I like about Kendry Morales that makes him a 2009 fantasy sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Usually I wait until the 1st of every month to go over who’s closing where and who’s backing them up. You know, the Donkey-Corn/Brain Freeze/$12 Salad post. See, you are familiar with my work. Great, I love how you do whatever you do too. Being in the heart of fantasy baseball draft season, my diploma from The College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston says I must do some early closer updates for 2009 fantasy baseball. I’m not going to mention guys who are completely safe as of right now. One generalization before I get to these closer schmohawks. You want anyone getting saves. Yes, you do. Trust me. You may think Lindstrom will return in 2 weeks and be fine getting 25 saves this year. You may be right. But if Leo Nunez starts the season as the closer, there’s just as good a chance that he keeps the job all year. Last year, you swore Chad Cordero would get the job back from Rauch and there was no reason to grab Big Jon. You swore Huston Street would take back the job from Ziegler. You also missed out on good closers. Anyway, here’s some closers to watch for 2009 fantasy baseball:
Matt Lindstrom – Strained rotator cuff. I would still put him on my bench because he could bounce right back. Or not…
Leo Nunez – Could easily end up with 35 saves or 5. There’s the fun!Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know what burns me up? Fire? Yes, random italicized voice, but something else too. Three weeks ago, ESPN threw out trash like this, “Hamels could be one of the top-5 starters in most leagues now that questions about his durability and moxie have passed.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If I may jump into the cavern of your noggin for a moment, you’re probably thinking, “Lastings Milledge — isn’t he that failed prospect the Mets gave up on?” Slow your roll there. He’s only 23 years old. Or maybe you’re thinking, “I could’ve sworn I remember seeing Milledge on my league’s waivers last year.” You’re right; Milledge clogged up outfields last year with non-digestible tools causing many to drop him. Through the end of July last year, Milledge was at 7 home runs, 13 steals and a .237 average. re: those numbers, They’re awful! Don’t go back and look again. You’ll go blind like the Blind Art Garfunkel on American Idol. Yet, through all of this, I still think Milledge is a 2009 fantasy sleeper. Hear’s Y as an illiterate wood right.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I went through my top 100 and top 300 for 2009 fantasy baseball and I chose a guy every 12 or so picks to make up my ideal team if I were in a Razzball Commenter League (so 12 team, 5×5, 5 OFs, etc.). Obviously this is a team I probably would never get, because each draft unfolds differently, but if a draft unfolded exactly how I wanted it, this is how my best 2009 fantasy baseball draft would turn out. But, and there’s always a but unless you’re an alien, I held myself to the false constraint of not being able to choose more than one guy every 12 picks, so I still didn’t get everyone I would’ve wanted.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve gone over whether or not you should grab a starter early, Rudy’s fantasy baseball strategy says sure, why not? My fantasy baseball strategy says not so much. Whichever strategy you subscribe to, you’re still going to need some late round value. The top 20, 40, 60 and 80 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball can be found under the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings. As I used to call Cliff Notes in college, this is a companion piece. If you click on some of the player’s names, you’ll see whole posts dedicated to these doodes with 2009 fantasy baseball projections. Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2009 fantasy baseball:
Manny Parra – I hesitated to put Kershaw on this list because of his walks, but the same could be said about Parra, and, in a roundabout way, I just did. The deciding factor was Kershaw is a bit more expensive at drafts than Parra.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh, no, he dint! Oh, yes, I did! David Ortiz got stamped with the schmohawk label and shoved into the overrated for 2009 fantasy baseball thingamajiggywitit. How’s dem apples? Sour? Good, they’re supposed to be. Ortiz doesn’t get to taste my Delicious apples. With Facebook’s 25 Inane Things About Yourself That No One Cares About, Not Even Your Mother making the rounds, I figured I’d crib that shizz for David Ortiz. Only I’m going to do one thing, because 25 is a ridiculously large number. I can’t even count that high when I’m drunk. And right now I’m drunk on hate! For Ortiz. Not you. You I like. Anyway, why’s David Ortiz overrated for 2009 fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Even if you draft one or two outfielders in the top 100 (which you should), you’ll still need to identify some late bargains. The top 20, 40, 60 and 80 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball can be found under the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings. This is by no means all the outfielders I’d draft for one of my teams. This is a list of guys that will go late and could provide some healthy returns. Where applicable, click on the players name to read more about them or to see their 2009 projections. Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2009 fantasy baseball:
Colby Rasmus – Razzle-Dazzle, baby. Razzle. Dazzle.Please, blog, may I have some more?