Brian Duensing went seven innings with no earned runs, 11 baserunners and 6 Ks. I almost started him, but he was going vs. the A’s and they’ve hurt me so many times this year. I think I owned the losing pitcher for every one of their wins. The rest of the way, Duensing gets the Tigers twice and the Royals once. Not terrible starts. The Tigers hitting isn’t as good as their record and the Royals, well, ya know. Duensing probably won’t provide you with a ton of Ks, but he has solid control and a last name that sounds like an Indonesian prison. (BTW, his last name may only sound like that because of my new favorite TV show, Locked Up Abroad. Next time I go abroad, I’m not even going to mule in any exotic fruit. BTW II, instead of mule, shouldn’t they call these smugglers jackasses? I apologize to any of our drug dealing readers. You know who you are.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
B.J. Upton – Didn’t played for three games, then returned to go 0-for-3 in the 2nd game of yesterday’s doubleheader as the Rays fade from the playoff picture. In September, the Rays have the 2nd worst Run total while batting .214. Good to know for match ups.
Brad Lidge – You’re the manager of the Phils, let’s call you, Charlie Manuel. So you’re “Charlie Manuel” and you have a 5-2 lead going into the ninth vs. one of the worst lineups. Do you go to your ramshackle closer to try to build his confidence or do you go to ramshackle setup man-turned-closer or do you interrupt Brett Myers, who’s in the middle of boxing a kangaroo? You go to Lidge, who nearly blows the save, and avoid Madson who blew the save on Saturday.
Ryan Madson – For the Phils nightcap, they decided to go with a less-aged scotch and gave Madson the save.
Pedro Martinez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, then he poured out an eyedropper for the dwarfs who weren’t there.
Kyle Davies – 6 IP, 7 baserunners (one hit). He gets the White Sox next. It’s not an ideal match-up, but Davies has now thrown four solid starts in a row and shut out the White Sox the last time he faced them in Chicago.
Pete Orr – HR yesterday. He can cross that off his bucket list.
Ian Desmond – 2-for-5 yesterday, 4-for-4 on Saturday. Tomorrow… lassoing the moon!
Paul Maholm – 8 IP, 0 ER. It’s not a September run in the H2H playoffs unless you’re starting guys you don’t trust. Maholm gets the Padres next.
Lance Berkman – HR yesterday and his third in the last four games. Waco my airplane…
Chris Carpenter – 6 IP, 7 ER. Sorry to talk real baseball, but this start might’ve cost him the Cy Young.
Derrek Lee – Hit his 32nd homer yesterday. After a terrible April and a yawnstipating May, he hit a random homer in June and I said, “Now has his average up to .253. I know, big whoop! But, and I might be alone on this island, I think he’s got a month or two hot streak in him.” And that’s me quoting me! Turned out he had about a four month hot streak in him. Unfortunately, the steals have completely vanished from his game.
Torii Hunter – HR yesterday. Since I’m looking down at my nuggets to offer up nuggets, when he was at 17/13 on July 3rd, I said, “My gratuity calculator is telling me if you own Hunter, you’ve gotten more production from him than you will if you continue to hold him.” He’s now at 21/16. So he’s gone 4/3 since early July. That’s like one week from Robot Jones.
Kendry Morales – 1-for-3, No reason to talk about him here, but this caught my eye. He’s been caught stealing 7 times and he’s been successful one time. Elias Sports Bureau said this is the most caught stealings for a guy who shouldn’t be running in the first place. Actually, they didn’t say that, but something that was overheard this week in the Elias Sports Bureau compound, “For the first time ever, Natalie, in stats research, had a nervous breakdown when Jim, in Human Resources, refused her Mafia Wars invitation.”
Russell Martin – Back to back games now with homers. Nice of Martin to show in mid-September.
Juan Uribe – HR yesterday. If you need MI pop, he’s poppin’.
Jake Peavy – Thinks he can return by this weekend vs. the Royals. He said yesterday, “The stamina was definitely better, the sharpness of everything (that can easily beat the Royals), the fastball command (that will strike out Royal hitters), the breaking ball (that the Royals hitters won’t be able to hit), so I’ll be ready to get in a game (versus the Royals) sometime soon.”
Hideki Matsui – 3-for-5, HR, 5 RBIs yesterday. When he got home, his wife congratulated him. She’s very animated.
Derek Jeter – 3-for-5, 3 Runs. Big weekend for Jeter as he passed Gehrig’s Yankee hit record. Now he only has one hallowed Yankee record left, the Most Times He Has To Defend A-Rod Without Actually Defending Him Only To Later Write A Book Defaming Him. Record currently held by Joe Torre.