This isn’t meant to replace Smokey’s two-start pitchers for fantasy that comes every weekend. This is meant to supplement that, like something A-Rod’s cousin would give you. This isn’t two start pitchers, this is barely owned guys that could give you one start. A pick up and a drop. They’re all owned in less than 50% of ESPN leagues. Pretty much everything I told you in the beginning of the year about trusting your big guns and not trusting the wayward sons-of-bees goes out the window this time of year. If you’re battling for pitching points or in the H2H playoffs, you need to take some chances I wouldn’t necessarily take in April. Suddenly, Jeff Francis looks ownable and John Lannan doesn’t look like John Lannan, but looks like a guy whose home ERA is under 3. So I’ve assembled starters from Friday, the new Hump Day, until next Wednesday, the old Hump Day, that you could take a chance on depending on how bad your pitching shituation is. I’m not completely proud of all of these guys, but their mommas are (even Momma Lannan). Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:
Friday, September 9th
Bud Norris – Has a great K-rate and goes against the Nationals, a team that is 2nd in the majors in strikeouts. Could see him getting tagged for a homer or two, but should give you 6 innings and at least 6 Ks. There’s a chance here for a 7 IP, 10 Ks game. Fancy me some of that!
Jeff Francis – Game is in Safeco. Yes, that’s all you need to know. A recurring theme will emerge. Recurring Theme, “Safeco!” See?
Saturday, September 10th
Henderson Alvarez – My very-risky-may-not-be-risky-at-all start of the week. Why do I sound like a less racist Jimmy The Greek? Alvarez won’t strikeout many guys but, as long as balls don’t find holes — that’s what she said! — he should be okay.
Chris Capuano – Has been better in Metco than on the road and he gets the below-average Cubs offense at home.
John Lannan – I aforementioned this shizz if you read the lead — or lede if you’re an old-timer who likes the feel of a newspaper, Lannan’s home ERA is under 3 and he gets the Astros.
Edwin Jackson – This start worries me and I debated leaving it off, so there’s that.
Wade Miley – He gets the Padres. This will be another recurring theme – Recurring Theme, “Padres!” — but not for this week. Recurring Theme, “My bad.”
Sunday, September 11th
Javier Vazquez – He falls under the 50% owned threshold, but he really shouldn’t. So this one’s kind of a gimme. Now watch him drop an upper decker.
Monday, September 12th
Brad Lincoln – Four score and four straight quality starts ago, he was a middle reliever. Now he gets a team (the Cards) that he threw six shutout innings against.
Mike Leake – In 23 innings, he has a 2.74 ERA vs. the Cubs, including his last game where he was within an out of a one-hitter.
R.A. Dickey – He rematches against Wang for the Toilet Bowl II.
Phil Hughes – Recurring Theme, “Safeco!”
Aaron Harang – He goes against the Giants and rookie Surkamp, who I almost listed here too. Conflict of interests yadda3.
Tuesday, September 13th
Guillermo Moscoso – Honestly, only because I had to pick someone. It’s Tuesday the 13th… Spooky!
Wednesday, September 14th
Brandon McCarthy – I expect he’s gonna get rattled in his Friday start vs. the Rangers because, ya know, they’re good. Here he goes against the
Torii Hunter Peter Bourjos Vernon Wells Howie Kendrick Mark Trumbo-led Angels.
Chris Narveson – There’s a chance this start may not happen, but if it does against Colorado… Keep on pushing my love to the borderline…fantasy baseball starters.