This isn’t meant to replace Smokey’s two-start pitchers for fantasy that comes every weekend. This is meant to supplement that, like something A-Rod’s cousin would give you. This isn’t two start pitchers, this is barely owned guys that could give you one start. A pick up and a drop. They’re all owned in less than 50% of ESPN leagues. Pretty much everything I told you in the beginning of the year about trusting your big guns and not trusting the wayward sons-of-bees goes out the window this time of year. If you’re battling for pitching points or in the H2H playoffs, you need to take some chances I wouldn’t necessarily take in April. Suddenly, Jeff Francis looks ownable and John Lannan doesn’t look like John Lannan, but looks like a guy whose home ERA is under 3. So I’ve assembled starters from Friday, the new Hump Day, until next Wednesday, the old Hump Day, that you could take a chance on depending on how bad your pitching shituation is. I’m not completely proud of all of these guys, but their mommas are (even Momma Lannan). Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:
Friday, September 9th
Bud Norris – Has a great K-rate and goes against the Nationals, a team that is 2nd in the majors in strikeouts. Could see him getting tagged for a homer or two, but should give you 6 innings and at least 6 Ks. There’s a chance here for a 7 IP, 10 Ks game. Fancy me some of that!
Jeff Francis – Game is in Safeco. Yes, that’s all you need to know. A recurring theme will emerge. Recurring Theme, “Safeco!” See?
Saturday, September 10th
Henderson Alvarez – My very-risky-may-not-be-risky-at-all start of the week. Why do I sound like a less racist Jimmy The Greek? Alvarez won’t strikeout many guys but, as long as balls don’t find holes — that’s what she said! — he should be okay.
Chris Capuano – Has been better in Metco than on the road and he gets the below-average Cubs offense at home.
John Lannan – I aforementioned this shizz if you read the lead — or lede if you’re an old-timer who likes the feel of a newspaper, Lannan’s home ERA is under 3 and he gets the Astros.
Edwin Jackson – This start worries me and I debated leaving it off, so there’s that.
Wade Miley – He gets the Padres. This will be another recurring theme – Recurring Theme, “Padres!” — but not for this week. Recurring Theme, “My bad.”
Sunday, September 11th
Javier Vazquez – He falls under the 50% owned threshold, but he really shouldn’t. So this one’s kind of a gimme. Now watch him drop an upper decker.
Monday, September 12th
Brad Lincoln – Four score and four straight quality starts ago, he was a middle reliever. Now he gets a team (the Cards) that he threw six shutout innings against.
Mike Leake – In 23 innings, he has a 2.74 ERA vs. the Cubs, including his last game where he was within an out of a one-hitter.
R.A. Dickey – He rematches against Wang for the Toilet Bowl II.
Phil Hughes – Recurring Theme, “Safeco!”
Aaron Harang – He goes against the Giants and rookie Surkamp, who I almost listed here too. Conflict of interests yadda3.
Tuesday, September 13th
Guillermo Moscoso – Honestly, only because I had to pick someone. It’s Tuesday the 13th… Spooky!
Wednesday, September 14th
Brandon McCarthy – I expect he’s gonna get rattled in his Friday start vs. the Rangers because, ya know, they’re good. Here he goes against the Torii Hunter Peter Bourjos Vernon Wells Howie Kendrick Mark Trumbo-led Angels.
Chris Narveson – There’s a chance this start may not happen, but if it does against Colorado… Keep on pushing my love to the borderline…fantasy baseball starters.

Couple deeper league guys I’m targeting, a pair of rookie lefties with good matchups.
1. Friday, Tom Milone (WAS) vs. HOU.
The 24 year old lefty doesn’t get a lot of love thanks to an underwhelming arsenal, but his minor league numbers are eye popping the last couple years. This year he had a 3.22 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, and a 155/16 K/BB (!!!!!!) in 148 innings, though he is fly ball prone. Scouts don’t necessarily think his stuff will hold up against major league hitters, but the Astros resemble a Triple-A lineup at least as much as most other major league lineups, and the ballpark is certainly forgiving for fly ballers. I would rather have his opposite number in Norris, but I’ll take Milone over Jeff Francis as a Friday streamer.
Monday, Erik Surkamp (SF) @SD
Basically cut and paste above, except he was in Double-A, gets the Padres instead of the Stros, and scouts seem to like his stuff a bit better. Otherwise basically the same. 24 years old, excellent periphs in the minors, lefty without eyepopping stuff.
@Mark: Yeah, I looked at them, ended up concluding they had more risk than I wanted.
Need to drop somebody to make room for Rollins. I’ve narrowed it down between Adam Jones and Carlos Beltran. Jones has been nonexistent since that mysterious chest injury…Jones, right?
No Brett Myers for two start next week? He’s been throwing well.
@Rob: Jones
@zzzzzz: These aren’t two start pitchers. His next start is against Philly.
By the time this comment appears, Minor has hopefully got out of the inning…
Jason Mothereffing Bay.
@Steve: Ugh, that good, huh?
@Steve: I just saw my first Rugby World Cup headline: New Zealand’s Sex Workers Expect The Rugby World Cup Will Be Quite The Lucrative Affair
@Grey: Forget it, as an announcer close to your heart might have said.
Unbelievable. I have streamed Moscoso, Williams and Peavy this week and my ERA is still 4.33.
@VinWins: New Zealand: Making the news for all the right reasons since 1840.
@Steve: Ha!
@Steve: Wow, that’s not easy to do.
@Grey: With Kuroda, Carapuano, Farnsworth and Happ it is. Somehow I’m ahead 9-2…
Now that he has the lead back, I just hope Minor can go 5 and then get the f*** out of there.
Jeez – Gordon is seeing it like a beachball, you’d think they’d play him in the second game too.
This was an awesome post…..very helpful as we make that final turn and head down the stretch….stay gold Ponyboy!
@Steve: This is painful.
@Steve: Nice, I guess.
@Steve: Seriously
@mc serch: Thanks!
Grey, weird that Lannan hasn’t pitched against Houston yet this season, which gives him the advantage right? Also, how do you feel about Humber at home against Cleveland?
@Jon Bones Jones: Is it weird? Anyone pitching vs. the Astros has the advantage. I wouldn’t mess with Humber in most leagues.
@Grey:
am going with narveson tonight .
stand clear .
Grey,H2H,5×5,
Out of all the players listed up there for this Saturday.. Who would you feel the most confident in picking up? exclude E. Jackson. I’m really only worried about a WINS, ERA, and WHIP.
Yussss. Minor gets the win. Man, that was agonising.
Thanks for all of your help and humor over the baseball season. Thought I’d buy you a couple of drinks – Enjoy!
Hmmm. Romero with run support. Didn’t expect that. Shame I’m sitting him.
@chata: Okay.
@tggq21: Lannan
@Steve: The conshellation win.
@vinko: Thanks!
Narveson getting lit up by the Phillies B squad.
@Oilcan Giuseppe: He sure did.
Fed up with Soto. He’s by far my worst starter.
In my 12 team 8×8 (tb, obp, and h), with playoffs next week, who’s the pick up out of …
Doumit, Hundley, Salty, Posada, S Perez??
Luebke cooking up another Grey special
What about Colby Lewis tomorrow night at home vs the A’s? He’s been bad lately but has averaged 8 k’s vs the A’s this year. Or too much risk? I already sat Romero tonight and got crapped on by minor, so can’t be wrong too many more times.
@feeding the Abscess
by “Luebke cooking up another Grey special” are you referring to a Cleveland steamer?
Power’s been out in San Diego since April, so I don’t know what everyone’s freaking out about.
@Buge Hoobs:They’re not much better… Doumit
@Matt: Risky…
@royce!: Ha!
Who would you pick between Lincoln, Leake, and Harang for their next start?