The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. Peck, Brandon League, peck. The save vultures are indigenous to rural and metropolitan areas, especially if a trade is in progress. Goodbye, Rauch. Hello, Drew Storen, Tyler Clippard and Sean Burnett. Save vultures have trouble reproducing because they’re usually overweight guys who would prefer to listen to sports news than what the girl they’re dating is talking about. “How does my manicure look?” “Very pretty, Joel Hanrahan.” “Did you just call me, Joel Hanrahan?” “No.” Kevin Gregg, Kerry Wood, Joakim Soria any of them can be traded in the next 24 hours. If you need saves, there won’t be many saves coming into the league after the trade deadline. If you need closers, now is the time to swoop, save vultures. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Domonic Brown – If I keep talking about Domonic, I’m gonna have to do a spin-off blog, Razzbrown. My Domonic Brown fantasy is clickable. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Davis is so easy to strike out that pitchers should let him get a 4th or 5th strike like you’d give the small-for-his-age kid in little league. “Good cut, Chris!” Then the parent who needs anger management screams, “It’s on a freakin’ tee! Hit the damn ball!” Davis is also so easy to strike out the Rangers felt like they needed to go out and get someone who is marginally better. Enter Jorge Cantu. Or as I like to call him, the guy I told you to sell back at the end of April when his value was at its highest. Cantu gets a boost in value because he’s now going to be hitting in a lineup with Giant Machine and Hulk Machine, while calling Coors South home. I’d grab Cantu off waivers if I was hurting at my corner infidel spot. Meanwhile, Chris Davis heads to the minors to try and reclaim that glory that had Bill James projecting him for, like, 40 homers and 10 steals. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Kinsler – Back to the DL with a strained groin and could be out until the end of August. Who had July 29th in the ‘Kinsler goes back on DL’ pool? Kinsler’s officially dropping way down in 2011 drafts. He might be the fourth Ranger drafted next year. I smell a sleeper post about him from January Grey. January Grey, “Leave me alone, I’m watching Jersey Shore.”
Brett Wallace – It’s ironic he’s only a 1st base prospect because he’s getting passed around the majors like a trollop who’s been a lot farther than 1st base. For those keeping score, he’s gone from STL to OAK in the Matt Holliday deal, OAK to TOR for OF prospect Michael Taylor (whom Toronto got in the Halladay deal), and now from TOR to HOU for OF prospect Anthony Gose. The book on Walllace is he’s a great hitter with a bad glove (hence the move from 3B to 1B). Now it’s one thing when STL trades a 1B (when they have Pujols) or when Oakland trades a 1B (Billy Beane likes to keep busy) but when the Lyle Overbay-playing Blue Jays trade a 1B prospect one has to wonder. Is something wrong here 0r is the Jays GM, Alex the Greek just opa’ing prospects into the fireplace? Either way, Lance Berkman looks like he’s about to embark on the Casino Bus. If Wallace gets called up, he’s immediately mixed league material. He hit 18 homers in 385 minor league ABs this year. Though it was in the PCL. BTW, this is the longest blurb ever for a roundup. I don’t even remember who I was talking about. Oh, Brett Wallace! Yeah, he can hit, grab him now in NL-Only leagues, deep mixed leagues and keepers, just in case he’s called up. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Roy Oswalt agreed to be traded to the Phillies after his son, Roy Oswalt Jr., broke it down to him, “Dad, the Astros suck, Ed Wade’s toupee’s been at half mast for years now and Ryan Howard Jr. promised to protect me from bullies.” Well, the first thing you know ol’ Roy’s a millionaire… Kinfolk said Roy move away from there… Said Philadelphia is the place you ought to be… So the Oswalts pack up their stuff and are moving to Philly. The Phils that is. You’re looking at a guy that is a top 20 pitchers right now and that shouldn’t change. Only thing that will change is a switch in where he’s getting his value from. Oswalt will take a bit of a hit with his ratios. The Juice Box’s stats only look like a pitchers’ park because the Astros’ offense is so pathetic. It’s more neutral than anything. Citizens Flank is a hitters’ park. That’s a slight disadvantage for Oswalt, but the addition of a team that actually might score him runs is a positive. The addition of Hamels and Halladay could help Oswalt since he no longer has to be the guy. But the subtraction of Brett Myers from his life will mean he’ll need to defend himself in any barroom brawls. For the rest of the season, I’d give Oswalt a line of 7-2/3.55/1.20/70. I.e., a strong number two fantasy starter. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott Podsednik traded to the Dodgers. Call ‘em The Podsgers! Should be convenient for his wife — much closer to the Playboy mansion. Or so I read in an article in Playboy about Playboy while not looking at the pictures. So Pods comes to L.A. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Montgomery | LHP-SP | Kansas City Royals | DOB: 7-1-89 | 6’5” | 180 lbs | B/T: L/L | 2008 1st rd pk #36 | KC #1 ranked prospect according to Baseball America (2010) | MiLB Player Page
In the Kansas City Royals 2009 Minor League Review that I wrote this past off-season, here is what I mentioned about Montgomery:
His curveball is considered his best pitch, his 89 to 93 mph fastball has more potential to develop velocity and movement, also throws an average changeup and the rare palmball. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Logan Morrison played at the same community college as Albert Pujols. That’s two more MLB players than Middlesex County College or MC-squared as we called it. Let’s look at what Stephen wrote about Morrison, “Blessed with a balanced, flat swing with plus-power, and the organization’s best plate-discipline… The only thing more exciting than Morrison is pasting copies of Grey’s photo to a dartboard and piercing his eyeballs.” Hmm… Hadn’t read that last part before. A rookie with good plate discipline and power is really all you need to know when considering a guy for keepers. Own and own now. So is it time to get on board the LogaMotive in redraft leagues? As a disgruntled horse would say, “What the hey?” When met with choosing between upside and a random schmohawk outfielder behind door number three, you go with upside. Just don’t crazy and drop anyone too valuable. I imagine Morrison will lose some playing time to Bonifacio and might struggle in the beginning. Conservatively, I’ve give him 8 homers and a decent average. The upside is obviously there and if he hits out of the gate, his name value will provide more than his actual worth on the trade market. A lot depends on if the Marlins take it fast or slow with LogaMo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jason Bay – Out with a mild concussion. This would explain a lot if it happened in March and was just discovered. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week I went over picking up free agent hitters. So now I do onto pitchers as I did onto hitters. I opined that there were five things to look for with hitters, after looking up what opined meant. Most of the criteria had to do with the hitter and not so much who he was facing. It factored in, but didn’t dominate the decision. If you feel like pitchers are going in the opposite direction, your powers of perception are incredible. It is a true wonder how you’re divorced multiple times. Put yourself on the free agent market, you catch you! Pitchers are a lot harder to figure. The pitcher can really only do so much. I try to not even concern myself with wins. It’s a crapshoot. This is more for H2H than roto, but sometimes in roto you want a spot start too. I ain’t mad at cha! So here’s what I do concern myself with when picking up spot starters in fantasy baseball:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Someone’s getting comped at the Tampa Airport Hooters! Matt Garza threw the Rays first no-hitter yesterday. He hypnotized the Tigers with the Garza Strip on his chin. With all due respect to Ernie Harwell, the EH on the Tigers uniform could easily refer to the lineup without Ordonez and Guillen. If there’s one guy you want to face with a no-hitter on the line, it’s Don Kelly… And Gerald Laird… And Ramon Santiago. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Fantasy baseball trading deadlines are right around the corner, time is slipping…slipping…slipping into the future and your fantasy baseball teams need to lose yesterday’s lunch or get off the pot. The worst feeling is coming within a few points of winning and pulling up short because you held too tightly to your players. In October, there won’t be an award for being 50 steals greater than everyone else while losing the championship by 1 point because you didn’t trade for power. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Haren was traded to the Angels for a terrible pitcher and some prospects. On a real baseball note, the Diamondhacks got had like they were taking cards from Ricky Jay. I think the desert sun’s baked their brains. To make a deal in the major leagues, you see what the Yankees will give you then you dangle that deal in front of all other clubs. Please, blog, may I have some more?