It wasn’t my intention, but with this draft I was able to prove, in a pinch, I can draft a pretty good fantasy baseball team for 2006. Maybe they can show this draft on ESPN Classic. If I can somehow bait my leaguemates into my DeLorean, I could win this league. Rudy didn’t draft with me, but, after the draft, he said, “I really like this team.” Knowing Rudy’s a fantasy baseball cougar, I know it wasn’t a usual team for me to draft. Why did I draft it then? Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t, as the old nugget goes. Or maybe that’s nougat. Nevertheless, it’s less than 20 minutes after drafting this team and maybe I’ll cozy up to it over time. Maybe I’m just sore because I missed out on Kelly Johnson, Ian Stewart and Chase Headley. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be glad I missed out on those schmohawks when my Mr. Winkle calendar flips to July. Maybe I’m writing this opening like I’m Morgan Freeman’s voiceover. (Go ahead reread the last three sentences. Sounds like Morgan Freeman’s in your head now, right? You’ll be hearing that voice for the next 72 hours. Say hello to Daniel Johnston for me, you done gone crazy.) Anyway, here’s my 2010 fantasy baseball team with thoughts on different rounds:
14 teams, Roto, 5 x 5 — C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, CI, MI, OF, OF, OF, OF, Util, Util, P, P, P, P, P, P, P, P, P, BN, BN, BN, DL, DL
Round 1 – Matt Kemp – This was my first “let’s mix it up” of many. Kemp’s in the same tier as other guys (Drunky Cabrera), so it’s not a huge deal I took him. Frankly, I expect big things from Kemp and don’t own him anywhere else, so I wanted to see what it was Rihanna kept talking about.
Round 3 – Felix Hernandez – Another zig vs. the zags. I see your quesadilla and I raise you a pupusa. Hernandez will be my preseason AL Cy Young pick when I get around to doing them. I love me some F-Her. Though, I don’t usually go for a starter this early. My thought process was, I’m going to take one starter in the first 7 picks anyway, so what the hey, I’ll take this one. As Simon Cowell would say, I’m a funny little thing.
Round 4 – Jose Reyes – Sorry, at 50 overall, I’m taking Reyes. When September rolls around and he has 45 steals, people won’t even remember the cojones it took to draft him in March. See 2009 A-Rod, Utley and Mauer for further proof. In the Funston write-up of this draft, The Hardball Times guy called this pick out as the reach of the draft. Guess you can’t make all the people happy all the time, but if I can make this guy unhappy most of the time, I might do okay.
Round 7 – Josh Hamilton – At 91 overall? Gotta do it. At this point is when I started to realize I might need six DL spots. Hopefully, the only crack we hear about from Hamilton is the sound of his bat.
Round 10 – Vladimir Guerrero – Hey, 2006, what’s going on? Say hello to your mother for me.
Round 13 – A.J. Burnett – At 175 overall, Burnett’s a guy that can win 15 and strikeout 200; yeah, I’ll take that. Wanna know some other gems from this round? Elijah Dukes, Nick Swisher, Juan Pierre, Leo Nunez, Ben Sheets and Lastings Milledge… Luckily, Dukes and Milledge didn’t end up on the same team. That clubhouse would’ve been a mess.
Round 14 – Bobby Jenks – Usually I don’t comment on the closers I take, because closers are closers are closers — SAGNOF! — but I wanted to say Jenks isn’t a great pick here. I’ll admit that. My rationale is I’ll have too many saves and be able to trade some away. As mentioned many times before, speed-only guys are like cars. Drive ‘em off the lot, they lose all value. Closers actually gain value. Further proof of this, I just traded Rafael Soriano for Matt Garza in a different league.
Round 17 – Mark DeRosa – And even with the Jenks pick, this is my least favorite pick. Drafted around him were Ordonez, Kuroda, Willingham… So it wasn’t all peaches and cream out there, but Kelly Johnson was taken a few picks later by Pianowski of Y! and, well, that hurt. Or Owski, if you’re Polish. I thought I could grab DeRosa and Johnson would’ve been around for another round. I should’ve grabbed Johnson since no one on the right side of loco is drafting DeRosa. Anyway, I took Kouz later to spell DeRosa at 3rd then I can fill in UTIL with a hot waiver grab.
Rounds 18 and 21 – Scott Sizemore and Ian Desmond – Trying to shake some of the stank off myself from the DeRosa pick, I went upside2. At MI this late, you can dream. And you should.
Round 24/25 – Madison Bumgarner/Kris Medlen – They’re already off my team. No room for guys with girl’s names, sorry.