Hello, readers of this blog post. That is you. I joined eleven other fantasy baseball experts for a draft the other day. These experts came from all walks of life and all countries (mainly US and Canada) and were united on one front: the love of pretending they are more gifted in this fantasy baseball shizz than all others. It takes certain sized brass balls to anoint oneself a fantasy baseball expert. Did they attend the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston with yours truly? Some did, others did not. I believe Scott Q. Pianowski from Yahoo was home schooled by Brandon Funston. Whatever the case, we all share a knowledge of fantasy baseball to make you marvel…until it’s June and Marco Estrada has a 1.50 WHIP and has been bumped from the rotation and you want to kill one of us. That is then, young squire. No rush to judge now. Rudy broke down who was in this ‘pert draft that I’m about to have my own looksie. Here’s my team and some thoughts on this 12 team, mixed league for 2013 fantasy baseball:
C: Salvador Perez (15)
1B: Paul Goldschmidt (2)
2B: Robinson Cano (1)
3B: Mike Moustakas (11)
SS: Jimmy Rollins (7)
2B/SS: Jed Lowrie (22)
1B/3B: Manny Machado (13)
OF: Adam Jones (3)
OF: Shin-Soo Choo (4)
OF: Desmond Jennings (5)
OF: Domonic Brown (18)
OF: Lorenzo Cain (20)
UTIL: Nolan Arenado (24)
Bench: Dee Gordon (25)
P: Zack Greinke (6)
P: Yovani Gallardo (8)
P: Jon Niese (9)
P: Greg Holland (10)
P: Jake Peavy (12)
P: Glen Perkins (14)
P: Jose Veras (16)
P: Marco Estrada (17)
P: Tommy Milone (19)
Bench: Jonathon Broxton (21)
Bench: Frank Francisco (23)
THAT’S NOT A BANANA IN MY POCKET, THAT’S MY UPSIDE RUBBING YOUR LEG
I went upside caca-cuckoo. I saw your upside and I check raised to the bettor all of my upside and I borrowed all of the upside from the Asian man next to me at the table and put that upside into the pot too. Here’s what my thought process was: I’m a crazy waiver wire lunatic. I’m not holding a UTIL guy that I draft past the first week unless he starts hot. So why draft someone as if I’m gonna hold them? That goes for my last two OF spots too. I saw someone like Alejandro De Aza sitting at the top of the draft pool for about five rounds, and I thought, “I could see myself owning him for about 17 days then dropping him.” So, Domonic, Cain or Arenado either go big the first week of the season or they go home to the waiver wire.
A BENCH BAT, GREY YOU LIED TO US?!
It’s true, I never take bench bats in a 12 team mixed league, and suggest the same for you. But, prior to dropping some interrobangs on my head, Hanley was removed from the WBC game with a hand injury in the middle of our draft, so I grabbed Dee Gordon. Obviously, Gordon’s donzo now and I replaced him with Tim Collins for the time being. He’ll probably be off the team by Friday. I’m a chronic rosterbator!
I RANKED DEAD LAST FOR ESPN’S POST-DRAFT STANDINGS, SO I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT
I don’t agree with ESPN’s projections, so I don’t care what they preseason rank me. My team is the bee’s knees and the witch’s supernumerary nipple. If your dog had five fingers, it would give the middle one to ESPN’s preseason rankings. My pitching is plenty deep enough with three potential number ones. My biggest concern for my pitching is YoGa in April when he has a lifetime ERA of, like, seven. I have more saves than you can shake a stick at no matter the size of said stick. My hitting is purdy with a capital URDY. The only questionable pick early on was Shin-Soo in the 4th round, but right after him went Ellsbury, pitcher, pitcher, Zobrist, Ian Desmond, pitcher, pitcher, Kipnis. What am I taking better than Choo? Yu Darvish, who was one of those pitchers? Adam Wainwright, who was another? I will say I liked the B.J. Upton pick right before Choo and had him queued up myself, but, alas, I can’t cry over a spilled BJ, which sounds ‘graphic. Now, am I thrilled I drafted Rollins? Well, he was the top ranked shortstop last year. Sure, he’s not getting younger no matter how many cucumber slices he sleeps with on his eyes and how much avocado he applies to his wrinkles, but at pick 77 overall, I’m biting on him. My biggest reach drafting vs. my top 400 is Moustakas. As I said in my top 20 3rd baseman post, people seem oddly down on him in the non-sexual way. What’s everyone’s problem with Moustakas? He’s 24 years old with solid power and good track record of better batting averages in the minors. Doesn’t it seem likely he’ll outperform his preseason projections and shoot up the rankings for next year? Machado’s another one. In my sleeper post on him, I compared him to a young Hanley. A young Hanley means a 20 homer, 40 steal guy. That’s good, over-the-internet friend. Okay, maybe not this year. Maybe not ever. But Machado can give you 20 homers and 20 steals this year. Sure, I didn’t draft many Corey Hart or Marco Scutaro-types that had good years in the past, but I was drafting for 2013. Sue me!* (*Don’t sue me.)
