Jesse Winker had his open eye locked on the baseball Friday night as he extended his hot streak going 2-for-3 with two home runs and three RBI. It was the 26 year old outfielder’s first multi-homer game in ever. Winky’s now slashing an insane .365/.484/.712 with five jacks, eight RBI and a steal for good measure. But I’m not finished yet! Wink’s been hotter than Cardi B’s “WAP” video, batting .688 in the past five days and hitting all five of his homers in that stretch. To be fair, his .424 BABIP and .346 ISO aren’t exactly sustainable numbers, even by a Trout-Mookie frankenbaby (although that does sound adorable)–regardless, Jesse is a hot little potato right now. This is not completely out of nowhere either, as he flashed some pop with Cinnci last season, batting .269 with 16 bombs in 113 games. Are you intrigued yet? Because Jesse is still available in just about half of fantasy leagues! Where do I sign, you ask? And has this pen been sanitized? Well, unfortunately, like everything in 2020, Winker isn’t exactly a no thinker (err, brainer) of a pick up just yet. The Reds announced Friday that a PTBNL has tested positive for COVID-19 and Saturday’s game against the Pittsburgh Pirates has been postponed. That’s all the information available to me at the moment, but I assume if this turns into a Marlins/Cardinals situation, then adding Reds players right now (no matter how hot) is probably not pro stratz, bro. Whatever happens, I’ll always remember that five day stretch where Jesse Winker was the hottest man in baseball, and I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “wow he didn’t make a ‘Winker? I hardly know her!’ joke this whole time. But you’d be wrong. I actually did. It just wasn’t funny! Lol. Jokes aside, let’s hope the Reds can get back to playing baseball ASAP as possible.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On a slate with no true ace taking the bump, the Phillies’ Aaron Nola is the guy to build your FanDuel lineups around. He has the second lowest SIERA on the slate, and the lowest xFIP. Nola has a 26.2% K%, and when he isn’t striking guys out, he is getting them to put the ball on the ground with a 47.2% groundball rate. With the Padres’ striking out in 27.1% of their at-bats against right-handed pitchers this season, Nola should continue to put up good numbers on Monday.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

O Lourdes’, Yuli, give us the strength to win our final head-to-head match ups. Give us enough power to steal back those roto cats. Oh great and wise fantasy Lourdes…and Yuli, I know you can help us! Friday night baseball’s Gurriel brothers, Lourdes of the Blue Jays and Yuli of the Astros, each hit two home runs. You go, Gurriels! It was the first time in MLB history brothers had multi home run games on the same night or something, don’t quote me on that google it. Joe and Dom? Sandy and Roberto? So jelly right now! Sounds like a great STUMP trivia question in five years we’ll never remember the answer to. Honestly though, these are the kind of family-centric stories baseball needs right now! With these look-at-me showboating young guns and their home run trots, and their fortnite dances and their neon cleats and their racist tweets. They’re disrespecting the game! Anyway, Yuli Gurriel (3-for-4, 2 HR (12), 7 RBI) is likely already owned in most leagues you have any chance of winning at this point but little brother Lourdes Gurriel (3-for-4, 2 HR (11)) is still available in over 90% of leagues and he’s hitting .400 with three homers and seven RBI in the past week. Lourdes have mercy! more like it. What is your MI doing? If the Lourdes is doing better grab him while he’s hot! Dude’s got a brother in the big leagues–that’s called pedigree, my fake internet friends. Justin and Melvin Upton the ball is in your court. Wait is Melvin still in the league? Doesn’t matter. It’s not stopping Stephen and J.D., who I hear are already planning a comeback for the record! Only the good Lourdes can save us then.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nick Kingham, the Bucs newest hot-shot rookie pitcher, notched his second win in a row last night pitching six and a third innings allowing just six base runners (5 hits) and striking out nine Brewers for his fourth win of the year. Back in Pittsburgh, they treat themselves post game to some of the finest foods available using only fresh local ingredients–then they put cole slaw and fries on it to make it even better. Since flirting with a perfect game in his April debut, Nick Kingham’s stock has slowly fallen, but I’m telling you now he just had a handful of fresh french fries dropped on top of him and its time to eat. We’re talking about a post post hype pick up here, folks! That’s two posts! He looked more than comfortable Friday night, coasting through the first five innings without issue before giving up solo home runs in the sixth and seventh innings. Taking on the Brewers is a tough assignment for any pitcher, let alone a n00b like Kingham, but he pitched admirably finding the strike zone consistently and working into seventh. Real talk, I’m not telling you to add Kingham because he throws strikes, it’s that 51/12 K/BB in just 50.2 IP that’s got me all “In My Feelings” like Drake. Ignore the 4.26 ERA, the 1.13 WHIP is looking pretty regal, no? If it’s not clicking let me spell it out for you. A 26-year pitcher with a 22.2 K% is locked into that number five rotation spot. That means IPs and Ks and possibly even Ws. Lots of letters, people! Kingham is available in over 80% of fantasy leagues. I’d pick Nick everywhere I needed starting pitching help for the strikeouts and the upside and if we’re lucky we might even get a handful of fries with that.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s no denying that Madison Bumgarner works hard. Well, he plays even harder. So it should have come as no surprise when news broke that the San Francisco ace was placed on the disabled list after injuring his left shoulder in a dirt bike accident. Wait. You were doing WHAT? But why!? You can’t expect Madison to get his kicks doing regular pleb things like playing Xbox or frisbee golf, it’s gotta be EXTREME. Regardless, this is a huge blow for Giants fans and Bumgarner owners alike. Madison is sporting a 3.00 ERA, 1.07 WHIP and 28/4 K/BB rate through four starts and early reports suggest he is set to miss over two months. Bummer. But honestly, what do you want from the guy? For him to not participate in dangerous extreme sports on his days off? I mean, come on, his hands were tied. Ty Blach is set to fill in the interim. Blach and his just 21.2 innings of major league experience. Blach is a ground ball pitcher with just a 13.4% strikeout rate, so he’s probably not the answer to your Bumgarner woes. More like, Ty Blech, right? Lol. He is slated to take on the Dodgers next week, but if you’re feeling dangerous you’d likely be better off dirt biking than picking up Ty Blach outside of deep NL-Only leagues. Here’s hoping at the very least Bumgarner got some sick air.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?