Please see our player page for Michael A. Taylor to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Yabba Dabba Baddoo! Big Bad Baddoo Daddy! He’s a Baddoo Baddoo man! Who? Akil Baddoo, that’s who who. Whatchu gonna doo doo when Akil Baddoo comes for you you? You you have no answer because Baddoo makes the rooroo-ules. Don’t you you see see I’m Greybot3000 and and I am am malfunctioning…please oil my joints. Steam pours out of Greybot’s ears, slowly he falls over and puns mutter out onto the floor. Yikes, I might need a mechanic. So, Tigers have Grossman, the two outcome player leading off, then it just gets progressively worse until the 9th place hitter and Andre 3000’s ex namleganger, Baddoo. If I’m the Tigers, I’m staying the hell away from Joe Exotic, and I am not leaving Baddoo in the nine hole. Let my man sink or swim, and move him up to the three hole. He might be a hot schmotato, but he had a year at the tender age of 19 in Class A, where he hit 11 homers, and stole 24 bags. He’s never struggled with strikeouts, and actually could have a .360-ish OBP. With a 55-grade power tool and 60-grade speed, you might just sneak into a 25/20/.260 guy. Whatever the case, I grabbed him everywhere. Now let’s put on our pinstripe suit, patented leather shoes, and watch Big Bad Baddoo Daddy swing with their hit song, You & Me & Baddoo Makes 3. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Welcome Back!  Week 1 is nearly in the books and what a wild ride it has been!  I like to describe Head to Head fantasy baseball as a long race with approximately 25 mini races along the way. The first leg of the race has been interesting, to say the least!  COVID tripped up the Nationals before they could get out of the gate. Yermin Mercedes went from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat!  Nate Lowe got out to a commanding RBI lead and if Fernando Tatis Jr was a racehorse, there would be rumblings about the glue factory.  Please don’t mistake my sense of humor, or lack thereof, for anything short of disappointment for the Padres, and for baseball in general.  I wish Tatis a speedy recovery!  He is just too good of a talent to go to waste.  Let’s turn our attention to Week 2 and which players are going to give you a leg up in your matchups!

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Who doesn’t wish they had a true story to tell like the night an unlicensed Les Anderson had when he snuck out and took his grandfather’s 1972 Cadillac Sedan de Ville in order to impress his crush. After she passes out, the night takes a wild turn as a joyride results in the Cadillac taking quite the beating. Gotta love when the old, wasted dude gets behind the wheel and somehow manages not to die. And let’s be honest, for those of you that have seen the movie multiple times, who hasn’t thought about Les’s drive to get his pregnant mom to the hospital when you were driving in reverse for a longer than normal stretch? But I think my favorite part of the movie is when the grandfather opens the garage door to get his car, takes one look at the beat to sh!t Caddy, and says “what in the hell is that?”.  Just another awesome Corey Haim/Corey Feldman 80’s flick for you. One of many. RIP Les Anderson. By the way, I tried looking up who played the old drunk and I think his name is Henry Alan Miller. Shockingly, his role was apparently uncredited.  How can that be? Just look at this performance!

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Baseball watchers are funny, right? Corbin Burnes (6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 11 Ks) was absolutely dazzling. I’m talking one of the best performances of the young season. Everyone was talking about him. Just filth and people wanted that filth rubbed in their eye balls. “Is that eye black?” “No, it’s Burnes’s filth. I applied it myself.” That was everyone. But why was no one talking about Jose Berrios? He matched Burnes, then one-upped him with a 6 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 12 Ks, performance. Is that, oh, I don’t know, as I pause here for emphasis, not good? Both of these guys were fantastic, but one of them gave up a home run to Byron Buxton, and one of them was Jose Berrios. Early season overreaction alert! Both of these guys are going to be top 20 starters this year, but only one of them (Burnes) is being treated that way. Berrios is a safer bet for a huge season, and might actually be able to throw 175+ IP this year. Joe Berry has been berry berry good to me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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*rubs ancient lamp, a blue genie appears* I have three wishes for this baseball season. My first wish is “No one I own get hurt.” I didn’t draft Dinelson Lamet, Josh Donaldson or Trevor Rosenthal, so I made your job easy for you, great, powerful Genie. My 2nd wish is “Everyone I drafted do well.”  I drafted Juan Soto, Trevor Story and Alec Bohm, so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish too. My 3rd and final wish is “All defensive shifts are eight catchers stacked on top of each other like a totem pole.” Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you!

Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Take a moment. Really feel the ground below your feet. The air in your lungs. The soon-turds in your lower intestine. You’re alive. That’s the feeling. April baseball, you giant love muffin! I missed you so much. I’d get choked up, but I cried out all my tears at Luis Castillo’s start. Remember, the only thing you really should take away from yesterday’s player performances is:  It’s one game. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:

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You’re traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of coaching decisions and slow catchers but of plate appearances. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of your lineup slots. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the stolen base zone! 

Not too long ago on this very site, I wrote an article about which catchers had the slowest pop times and worst caught stealing percentages

Even less long ago I wrote about which team managers allowed their players to attempt the most stolen bases

Now comes my honors thesis at the Grey Albright School for Fools: which players each week are on a team run by a manager who likes to steal bases AND are facing a catcher who isn’t great at throwing out runners! 

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We’ve done it! We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings for 2021 fantasy baseball rankings. Give yourself a big round of applause. I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do? Oh, yeah, you read them. No wonder why your hands can still clap. Wait a second, I’m doing a utility-only hitter ranking this year. This isn’t the end of the hitter rankings. Feeling woozy, need to sit down. Okay, let’s get to it because this post is like 5,000 words long and I wrote it with my toes. C’mon, pinkie toe, push down the shift key! So, here’s Steamer’s 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball:

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Reds trading away their closer, Raisel Iglesias, for Noé Ramirez is the kind of deal that will be used by future generations when they dissect when baseball clearly wasn’t about winning. This makes sense from the Angels’ perspective, clearly. Nothing that Angels like more than las Iglesias, and now they have two of them, having traded for Jose Iglesias earlier this offseason. This is not a black and white world, so I could see them trading for Emilio Pagan to balance their shoulders. Mike Trout will need to learn the Spanish nursery rhyme, “Aquí is the Iglesias, aqui is the personas, aquí is the pescado without a championship.” All I Noé is that dude is an 88-MPH middle reliever and what are the Reds doing? I like Amir Mrs. Garrett as much as the next guy, but he’s their closer now? I thought they were trying to be competitive. Why is “not being competitive” even an option? Okay, I’m about to burst my ulcer. So, Raisel Iglesias will clearly be the Angels’ closer, and has the stuff to be a top 3 closer. Last year he went 12.1 K/9, 2 BB/9, and 2.87 xFIP, and is nearly that dominant in his career, not just goofy 60-game seasons. For 2021, I’ll give Raisel Iglesias projections of 2-3/2.52/1.06/84, 34 saves in 67 IP.

On a more somber note, wonder what the Heaven’s Gate guy would’ve thought about the Angels trading for Raisel Iglesias and Jose Iglesias. That’s gotta be a sign, right? No? Well, he would’ve thought it was. Side note:  the phrase “what in the holy eff” was invented for the HBO Max Heaven’s Gate documentary. As for Jose Iglesias, I’ve already drafted him in one 2021 league. Yes, I’ve already drafted a 2021 fantasy baseball league, I’ll try to go over it later this week. It was super late when I went to Iglesias, but I was hoping he could save my batting average’s soul. He’s a high contact, nothing else guy. For 2021, I’ll give Jose Iglesias projections of 64/8/68/.283/6 in 472 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2021 fantasy baseball:

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As an Angeleno, I can’t tell you how amazing it’s been to be able to watch Clayton Kershaw every 5th game for all of his 2,500 Ks. I kid, games are blacked out here, and I’ve only seen him in the playoffs. Is he good? Really? Can you describe what he looks like when he’s good? He’s a lefty? A good slider? Are you messing with me? I can’t tell. *opening up Kershaw’s player page* Wow, I feel like I might’ve missed something by never seeing him pitch in a regular season game. Geez. Yesterday, Clayton Kershaw (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.50) recorded his 2500th strikeout and he seems likely to avoid the Doom of F-Her, where he disappears in his 30s, and ruins his Hall of Fame candidacy. Forget that, actually, Kershaw could win the NL Cy this year for old time’s sake. Be kinda awesome to see him collect the award before Game 4 of the World Series, then goes out and gives up seven earned in the 1st inning, eliminating the Dodgers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Another week, another post by me mentioning the Mets. Does it seem like I pick on the Mets too much? I am a Phillies fan, so it’s entirely possible. Maybe the Mets could teach their pitchers how to hold runners and get to home plate faster like the rest of baseball. This is the same organization that lets it’s pitchers decide for themselves whether or not to get an MRI on their sore arms so I’m not expecting much. Sorry, Mets rant over. Here are the week’s speed notes.

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