I make a lot of notes to myself throughout the week in a Google doc as I build toward a full article. The word atop the document this week says “cryptocracy,” which reminds me today of something I’d gloriously forgotten: that Major League Baseball teased a big reveal this week only to announce it’s gone into partnership with a cryptocurrency company in a venture that will, almost certainly, make money for the owners. 

Huzzah. 

And wow the fans were so geeked and stoked and hyped for baseball now more than they’d ever previously imagined possible because the owners were going to, get this, make more money.

Just awesome stuff. 

If you’ll excuse me for a moment I’m due up fourth this inning, so I’m going to duck into the clubhouse and view my last couple of at bats against this pitcher.

Then I’m going to strap on my custom-made elbow guard, wristband and batting gloves before I select my custom-made helmet and bat so I can step into the on deck circle, where I’ll swing my weighted bat a few times before I tack up my custom bat with my favorite pine tar, tack up my batting gloves a bit on the barrel, pretend not to time the pitcher while I’m timing the pitcher, then walk into the box and tack up my batting gloves again before I adjust them, my elbow guard, and my helmet. Now I’m ready to swing the bat. Maybe.

Wait. 

Did that pitcher just adjust his belt!?

Skip! Blue! Wait! Stop the game!

That pitcher might have some sunscreen in his belly button!

Check him check him check him!

And let’s grab a brand new ball straight from the box otherwise I call no fair.

Sorry about that. Can’t believe that guy was trying to use a substance to help him hold something. Back to the game. Here’s what I’ve been seeing on the field this week.