The New York Yankees signed two-time Cy Young award winner Corey Kluber to a one-year contract worth $11 million dollars this weekend. Immediately the fantasy sports sphere on Twitter — which is really more of a rounded mound of a shape — well, analysts went Klu-razy with the news. A big-time player on a big-time team! Hooray! Stonks up and let care fly to the wind! I’m looking through rankings from various sites on Kluber, and people are absolutely Ku-losing it (let’s see if I can get one more pun in before the jump!). Even Razzball’s 2021 Steamer Projections have Kluber as SP22 at this point in the pre-season. With some big time sites considering Kluber in the 30s for SP — in other words, your 3rd starter in a 12-team league — it’s absolutely worthwhile to see if the stats are Klean or Kluttered. Ha! Four of ’em!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Opens an envelope, and, inside, is an invitation.  “Wow, what gorgeous calligraphy.  Someone took their calligraphy class at 8 PM every Wednesday for six weeks at a local college very seriously.  Patrick Bateman would be jealous of that raised font.”  Reading, “Please join us, the Tampa Bay Rays, for the Star Mitzvah of Austin Meadows.  On Tuesday, the ninth of April, two thousand and nineteen at twenty-four minutes after two o’clock in the afternoon at Temple Fantasy Tova Those Other Outfielders.  A reception to follow at one of the 37 local Hooter’s restaurants in the Tampa area.  Rather than gifts, please bring Cash.  Our manager, he gets lost.”  How sweet is that.  I wonder if I was invited because I wrote an Austin Meadows sleeper this preseason.  Prolly.  Sound the shofar, Meadows is finally breaking out!  *remains super calm, then screams*  I TOLD YOU!  Yesterday, Austin Meadows went 4-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (2), hitting .308.  Hopefully, this is the start of the big things I imagine for him, and, finally, he becomes a man.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?