Justin Smoak isn’t simply the hottest hitter in all of baseball. No! There’s more! He’s hitting near-.400 in the last week with four homers. But wait, there’s more! Justin Smoak is the world’s first liquid smoke for a fantasy team. Put Justin Smoak on your fantasy team and it instantly adds an unmistakable Smoak flavor. Sick of bland boeuf Welington, try Justin Smoak! Once you taste Justin Smoak, you’re gonna be like, “Now I know why those crazy Canadians measure everything in meat’ers!” This Eve is not covering her naughty bits with a fig leaf, she’s wearing Smoak’d beef! Justin Smoak adds such flavor to a fatty piece of old beef it now becomes lean and fresh, leaving our Spanish customers saying, “Si, newy!” I don’t want to Bragg about our Liquid Aminos, but Justin Smoak can be added to real-live cows and they take on the unmistakeable smell of an ashtray! All of this for the low, low price of a waiver wire pickup! Justin Smoak is too good not to try! (Awaiting FDA approval.) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Jose Berrios went 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, bringing his two-game ERA to 0.59. Hi ho the Berrios, snitches! Here’s what I said previously on Jose Berrios (because this is instructive, and not out of laziness), “In Triple-A, Berrios threw 75 2/3 IP and had a 2.62 ERA with a 9.9 K/9 and a 1.7 BB/9. That’s Sizzlean that you leave on top of your camel’s head as you gallop through the Sahara heat. You don’t usually see that kind of sample size — that’s what she said! — in Triple-A. You know why? Most major league teams promote guys who are as good as Berrios. Most teams also don’t tie a player’s paycheck to a string then drag said check right in front of the player’s feet, just out of their reach.” And that’s me quoting me! Here’s the kicker. That was from two years ago! I’ve loved this guy for a long time — that’s not what she said! His first two games I’d describe as ‘a little difficult’ to pretty easy. His next start at Baltimore will be the true test. If you’re in a competitive league, you need to own him now before he goes out and throws a gem in Balty-more (they call it that, right?). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?