Please see our player page for Gavin Sheets to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
by: Grey
Cam Schlittler (5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks) made his debut. [trying to suppress giggle at his name, Schlittler] Guess it’s better than being Cam Scatler. I am shaking my head disapprovingly at his Only Fans. “Honey, are you drawing a little mustache on your turd? Oh my, that is so hot, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Everyone loves a dynamic duo. Frodo and Sam. Iron Man and Spider-Man. Kelder and the toilet. Apologies if you waited with bated breath for my Corners Report last week. Sunday and Monday, I was waylaid by a nasty bug, and had a lot to catch up on, so I wasn’t able to do the research […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I asked ChatGPT this great philosophical question, “If mom says don’t play ball in the house, and when she said it she was in the Brady House, and Brady House plays ball, is he making mom mad?” ChatGPT didn’t say anything in return, but smoke rose from its robot ears and started sputtering. I defeated […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hey, Tone, it’s your nephew Christopher. The city’s a mess. I went in there and they charge congestion pricing now. Can you imagine this? Charging me to sit in freakin’ traffic. How about Satriale’s charges to stand in line for gabagool? Paulie said you don’t have to pay the congestion pricing if they don’t see […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“Curve, curve, curve, curve, curve, curve, curve, curve…” Lance McCullers Jr. continued for the next five hours saying, “Curve,” and when he finally finished, Dr. James Andrews asked, “Is that?” McCullers Jr. thought about it and replied, “Curve, curve, I think that’s it.” Dr. James Andrews nodded his head, taking notes and finally he looked […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Tarik Skubal (9 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.49) had one of the best starts ever fo’ reals fo’ reals fo’ reals fo’ reals…fo’ reals! FO’ REALS! As I continue to say fo’ reals in different intonations, the Fo’ Reals Police break down my door and drag me […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?What you guys and five girl readers don’t know is I can search all comments for keywords. Or key-Wards as was the case yesterday. I searched “Ward” for the last three weeks, and there was at least 500 comments asking to drop Ward. All coming after, on May 6th, I said Taylor Ward (3-for-4, 5 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“So, this is one of those restaurants where I buy an empty plate for $18 and I tell you what I want on it, and I can choose anything from this list? Sweet! Okay, first I want a corner man. Then I want ribbies. Better put some pickles on it. I do like ranch, ya […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Happy post-Mother’s Day, folx! That’s like the 25% mark of the MLB season, if you’re keeping track. Myself, I’m not really keeping track because I’d rather be playing Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Did you know that JKJ doesn’t like that game? Can you believe his lack of culture? When you become a writer of imaginary baseball content in the future, you too can take knocks at your internet besties to start your articles. Just don’t knock Truss, or he’ll insert pictures of Bartolo Colon into your byline. Which, to be fair, would be very Razzball. Happy Mother’s Day from your pal, Bartolo.
Let’s get you some new players!
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by: Dan Pants
Oakland Las Vegas Sacramento Athletics starting pitcher Gunnar Hoglund was firing on all cylinders Friday night (no scope!) in his MLB debut pitching six strong innings, allowing six hits and striking out seven Marlins for his first career win. Gunnar going whole Hoglund! You might remember Gunnar as the primary return piece in the Matt […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Whaddya say, let’s do a Nick Kurtz post every other day for the rest of the season. For unstints: Random starter pitches well, I write a lede about him, “Yay, Max Meyer, you complete me, not ‘me’ like Renée Zellweger, but ‘me’ as in a 14-strikeout game,” or whoever pitches well, then the next day’s […]
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by: Disco Stu
Now that we are a week into the season, I have the total urge to make judgements on all my players and teams. On one hand, you do have to act quickly. If you wait for a batter to take like 5 good swings, you’re often too late. On the other hand, do you really […]
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