A sheet attached to a building is covering something in front of the Sears sign on a storefront. The closer we look we see I’m standing on the letter S of Sears. I wave like Forrest Gump. Screaming now, “Okay, when I jump, make sure you film this reveal, because it’s going to be spectacular! …and 1…2…3!” Holding onto the end of the sheet, I jump off the S and Tarzan down the side of the building. Then, the sheet gets to its natural conclusion and, rather than revealing under the sheet the big surprise, it leaves me dangling ten feet off the ground. “Um, a little help.” Cougs puts down the camera and yanks on my feet, and I scream, “Yanks! Perfect!” I fall to the ground, and the sheet covers me, but now it’s revealed that the sheet was covering a spraypainted JP in front of Sears. So, JP Sears (5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks) had his major league debut. It was vs. the Orioles, so the salt is out to count grains, but he looked fantastic. He has a 93-95 MPH fastball, decent slider and change, and elite command. That’s the JP Sears catalog of pitches. Yanks also have five starters in the rotation, so, with those going out of business sales on Sears, don’t expect refunds. Whether he stays in the rotation or not, he’s someone to keep an eye on, because elite command plays everywhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Anthony Bender to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
What’s good in the Razzhood? Back again with another weekly roundup of all things relievers for you cool little kitty cats. Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, but I stay on top of thangs for the most part). Here’s what stood out to me […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, there’s no such thing as fooling someone three times. Fool me four times and, “Do you want a punch in the nose? Seriously, stop fooling me!” Fool me five times, and you’re the Royals and you’ve called up and demoted Edward Olivares that many times in the last year. If you would’ve told me the Royals could’ve roped me into buying Edward Olivares again, I would’ve told you why did I waste a genie wish on being turned into a steer and how did that cowboy rope me? Was he gentle? Check on me; I’m now a steer. Putting on Green Day and singing, “Buy Oliveras Of Unbroken Dreams,” and sobbing unnaturally. He’s burned us before? No, the Royals burned us! Olivares is a 25/15/.270 hitter that keeps getting yanked around like he’s the one who became a steer and not me. I’d grab him in all leagues, just in case this is the last time the Royals fool us. Five foolings, and that’s it! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
How we doin, Razzpunks? Finally came up with a new really cool and original and clever pun this week. And fair warning, I’m a Cardinals fan, so I’m gonna fan-boy hard this time around on my boi Ryan Helsley. Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s important to remember that April is not a good month for hitting. Add in what appears to be more monkey business with the baseballs, we shouldn’t be hitting the panic button yet. However, these stats still count and we must do what we can to be maximizing matchups, playing hot hands when possible, and […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
NY City’s newest fantasy ace Tylor Megill combined with four other relievers Friday night to throw the first Mets no hitter since Johan Santana in 2012. It was also the first no-no of the season, and just the second for the Mets in ever! Chris Bassitt says Manfred’s balls are all messed up–yet, he and […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s good, Razzfools? Yes, that’s me starting a second consecutive SAGNOF report with the same pun. If it ain’t broken, amirite? Here’s the best and worst of the past week (note: yesterday’s games do not factor in): Josh Hader had himself a week: 4 SV, 4 IP, 1 H, buncha zeroes, then 5 K. No […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dropping 98 MPH 4-seamers, maxing out at 99 MPH, with a bye-bye 82-87 MPH knuckle curve with a 3100 spin rate that has 48-inches of break, followed by “Oh, okay, that was a change, okay, I see what you did there” as the batter swings and misses. Is the answer to, “Are we sure Matt Brash is real?” Oh, he looked very real. Really real. My favorite sequence was right after giving up his first run, he got Tim Anderson on five pitches and only had to throw one fastball, which was taken for a ball. His final line was 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners (1 walk), 6 Ks, and, as good as that looks, he looked better. Not convinced there won’t be some roofies here and there. I could see him going against a club with a better feel for his pitches, and just laying off, because there were a few times when I was like, “Has he thrown a strike at all this at-bat?” After seeing him, I can also answer the question, “Would I pick him up?” With a strong affirmative, i.e., the mustache must Brash. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Aaaand we’re back! I have removed myself from my cryogenic freezing chamber where I now live to avoid COVID just to write this blog post. I’m not often tapped with recapping the first full slate of games of the year and the pressure is on like a covid headache. I’m not Grey. I haven’t been […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
*digs nose into an open field of grass, lifts head, eyes filled with tears* This smells of my youth!
Passerby, “My dog just peed there, so probably because you used to wet yourself.”
Baseball is back.
“Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season. My first wish: No one I roster get hurt. My 2nd wish: Everyone I roster do well. I drafted Bobby Witt Jr., Julio Rodriguez, and Seiya Suzuki, so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish. My 3rd and final wish: All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing the Moonwalk. Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you!”
Glad I didn’t waste a wish on losing a closer during some janky Chris Paddack trade, because that didn’t need a wish. Chris Paddack and Emilio Pagan were moved to the Twins for Taylor Rogers, Brent Rooker and cash. This trade was done as it snowed all across the baseball community. *intern whispers in ear* It wasn’t snow? It was dandruff from all the head scratching? Oh, I see. This feels like a deal we hear about in five years when the authorities figure out the Twins were secretly working with the Padres. Incredibly, the Padres tried to give Paddack away to everyone, then the Twins paid full price. Like, what even? For a month, every team was supposedly trying to acquire Paddack, when, in reality, it was just the Padres trying to give Paddack away for anything. Chris Paddack was so highly sought after that the Padres pretended to trade him to every team. Statcast sliders aren’t good and neither is Chris Paddack. I suppose if he can fix his fastball, but, allow this small cackle of truth, why didn’t he fix his fastball while in San Diego? Didn’t feel like it? Um, okay. So, I wouldn’t suddenly be interested in Paddack, outside of AL-Only leagues. I’ll go over the Padres and Twins’ pens on the other side of the anyway. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s poppin’, Razzhooligans? Can you feel it? Regular season baseball will be here in 48 hours. Not long ago, I was certain we wouldn’t be playing probably at all this month. #grateful In my final preseason piece for you cool cats, I wanted to update my closer rankings since, well, a whole lot has happened […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
What it do, Razzballers! Praise be!! The lockout has been lifted! After weeks of nothing, not even freakin’ pictures of players, we’ll have Spring Training games in a week. It’s kinda bonkers to think about. What I wanted to highlight this week on the bullpen front were potential situations where Spring Training could impact who […]Please, blog, may I have some more?