It’s Thanksgiving Eve! After New Year’s, this is my favorite amateur hour for drunkards. No Karen, you shouldn’t take nine Fireball shots at Buffalo Wild Wings just because you have a four-day weekend…you need to be up bright and early to watch the people lip syncing show tunes in the cold. It’s only fitting that on this magical holiday we celebrate the minor league system of the Indians. According to my history textbook, Christopher Columbus flew to Newark in 1962. There, he met the Indians and together they shared a fantastic feast of pork roll and cheese and that’s why we trample each other for video game consoles today. In what’s easily the biggest move of the baseball offseason, the Indians of Cleveland have non-tendered Chief Wahoo, who coincidentally organized that original Thanksgiving feast but apparently was also an extreme racist. It’s about time the Tribe cut ties with the image of that awful man. Here’s Cleveland’s top ten fantasy prospects according to Mike, a man who knows very little but tries very much.

Please, blog, may I have some more?