You know how you never really see yourself for who you are? Right, well, I wonder if Sheets doesn’t see himself as injury-prone. Instead, Sheets sees everyone else and thinks they’re Magoo’ing their way through their life. He sits in the locker room and he’s like, “Wow, Fielder I can’t believe you didn’t just twist your ankle right there!” And Fielder looks at him confused, “Ben, I was just tying CC’s shoelaces for him.” (Cause Prince and CC obviously have to tie each other’s shoelaces.) Also, I wonder if Sheets’s family is constantly trying to get him out of harm’s way. His wife, “Let Ben Jr. go get you some more flapjacks from the buffet. Those heatlamps look hot.” Either way, Sheets is injured. A few starts ago he complained of groin tightness. That was obviously bull–Sheets now is complaining of elbow pain. I’d make plans to be without Sheets and drop him if you need the roster room. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Adam LaRoche/David Ortiz/Hunter Pence – Each with 2 HRs. In my barbecue grill’s vernacular, I’d say these players are HOO or Hot Off Off. I’m sure a lot of you wouldn’t mind a HOW or a WHO or even a WOW.

Edwin Encarnacion – Has pain in his wrist. Never a good place for a hitter to have pain. Also, now is the time of the year when people mysteriously sit out for a week even though they are only day-to-day. Yes, BJ Upton, I’m talking to you.

Hanley Ramirez – 2 HRs. Rejoice! Unfortunately, he came out of the game with shoulder soreness. Dejoice! Though he says he shouldn’t miss more than a game at most. Re-rejoice!

Brad Ziegler – Gave up his first major league home run, but his season ERA is only 0.82, which is actually bested by his teammate, Devine at 0.65. Incredible years these two are having. I think Devine’s going to be closing next year and Ziegler will be setting him up, but stay tuned.

Ty Wigginton – Finally was able to take some weight off his teammates and chip in an 0-for-4.

Cliff Lee – Didn’t have his best stuff, but before this bizarro season that would’ve meant he was rocked for ten runs. Instead he got hit around a little, but it wasn’t that awful and just missed recording his 23rd win.

Chone Figgins – Elbow pain from being hit by a pitch isn’t going away. He has no idea why. I have an idea; he weighs a buck-thirty soaking wet and he has skinny, granny bones. I’d expect the Angels to rest him right up until the playoffs.

Tony Peña – As of right now, Peña and Qualls are probably sharing closing duties. That’s if Qualls isn’t hiding an injury, which he might be because he should have been out there for the save last night. Stuck an nena on his en and called it macaroni…

Jeff Francis – Done for the year. Back date this to April.

Michael Young – Left the game yesterday because of pain in his fractured finger. He’s been trying to play through it to get to 200 hits. Don’t worry, Young, when it’s time, I’m sure the Hall of Fame committee will ignore your accomplishments either way.

Aaron Harang – Complete game shutout. Lots of offense all around baseball yesterday and Harang comes out smelling like roses. You say tomato, Harang says tomahto… You say elevator, Harang says lift…

Carlos Gomez – HR yesterday and now has 13 RBIs in the last 7 days. Watch CarGo go.

Brandon Knight – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks. Gets out of KITT, throws a decent couple of innings, but is benefited by facing the Nots, then gets back in KITT and drives off.

Ryan Shealy – Of course he hit a home run. Was there any doubt he would hit one today?

Freddy Garcia – Yes, he looked fine tonight. Yes, he used to be decent. No, I don’t want any part of him. But he goes against the Royals next. Fine, in some deep leagues you can look.

Travis Hafner – HR yesterday. The Comatose Indians Fan can’t wait to see who the Indians are matching up with in the playoffs. Maybe the Tigers! Meanwhile, in Michigan, a young man wakes from a six month coma. He turns on Sportscenter to see the Tigers scored 17 runs with most of the runs coming from the bottom of the order. “They are just like the ’27 Yanks!” Comatose Tigers Fan can’t wait to see his team beat the Yankees in the playoffs.

  1. Steve says:

    I know he’s hot, but do you start J Upton vs Lincecum? I could start Markakis who has a pretty good record against Litsch.

  2. Crafty35a says:

    I would start Markakis there, no question.

    I picked up B. Wood to start yesterday and today since S. Drew had a lefty and Lincecum coming up for those two games. Of course Sciosia decides to sit him yesterday — for the second straight game. Figures.

  3. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I agree with Crafty35a. Go with Markakis.

    @Crafty35a: Yeah, Drew’s been decent (hot for him) since the All-Star break. I know you’re trying to maximize all of your numbers, but you don’t want to over think it either. Though I can understand what you were trying to do. Damn you, Scioscia!

  4. Shogun says:

    @Grey: Are they saying anything down in SoCal about whether Brandon Wood is going to be playing every day. I’ve had him in my lineup, but am eyeing Cantu and Mark Reynolds on the waiver wire. The league counts strikeouts, which makes Reynolds a bit of a liability if he isn’t mashing.

  5. Frank Rizzo says:

    Pence has been riding my bench because he hasn’t been as consistent as Victorino lately. I can’t handle the 3 straight games of 0’s then one big game.

    I’m thinking about a Laroche pickup but isn’t he worthless against lefties? He’s up against one today.

  6. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: Wood may take a backseat to Aybar if Aybar can stay healthy, because Aybar has been out and Scioscia probably wants to get him up to game condition for the playoffs.

    Grab Cantu.

    @Frank Rizzo: I’d go with LaRoche over Pence. He’s historically not that awful against lefties (no worse than he’s against righties). And when he’s hitting, it shouldn’t matter who he’s facing.

  7. Shogun says:

    @Grey: Done. Thanks. Also, I streamed Harang last night and it was awesome. I’m thinking he’s worth holding onto for the rest of the season.

    Btw, I’m in the finals in both of my leagues, one of which is Andy Behrens’ Yahoo! Blog commenters’ league. Behrens went down in the first round…

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: Commenting elsewhere? Cheating on me? The gall!

  9. Shogun says:

    @Grey: Ha! Actually, I don’t comment over there, but I read the blogs (gotta get my infos!). When they announced a midseason league, I threw my Yahoo! addy in the comments and got invited. Don’t fear – Razzball will always have my heart!

  10. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: Tell your friend, Andy, that Razzball wants a piece of him.

  11. Shogun says:

    @Grey: Aye, aye, Grey. Yahoo’s bloggers provide some good info but none of the ‘tude that we come to Razzball for. I mean, what other fantasy baseball blog is going to lace its updates with taco diarrhea metaphors?

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: Well, I guess that is true. Razzball, We Got the Runs!

  13. Shogun says:

    @Grey: Ha!

  14. Shogun says:

    Kershaw is looking pretty good today. He’s walked a couple batters but looks composed out there. He’s going to be a very good one.

  15. Shogun says:

    @Grey: The Exploding Yellow Envelope says Torre hinted that Saito’s going to be moved back to closer after one more appearance (this one). I’m hoping so, because I’ve got him stashed in one league.

    Speaking of ‘staches, that ballhawker gets to more balls than Giambi. Kudos on the awkward white-man-at-the-club dance.

  16. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: This guys catch like six balls a game? That’s crazy.


  17. Crafty35a says:

    I had streamed Kershaw. Nice of Torre to pull him after 86 pitches so Saito could blow the win. If Capps gets a save out of this, I’ll be doubly pissed, as my opponent has him.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Crafty35a: Yeah, it’s very annoying.


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