“Hey, what do you know about the A’s newest left fielder, Bill Beige?”
“Bill Beige got let go, man. Where ya been? Theth Brown’th the man now.”
“Theth Brown, what are you thupid?!”
Back and forth like that for ten minutes until Seth Smith screams, “I thaid no more quenthins!” Why do we keep asking Seth Smith about Seth Brown? Same first name, dur. Seth Smith answers for all Seths. It’s in his contract.
“Hello, Tharks. I’m Theth Thmith and I’m here with a fantathic opportunity for you to get in on the ground floor. I trademarked everyone named Theth, and everytime a quenthin ith athed of a Theth, I get a nickel.” Barbara squints her eyes and jots down something on her notepad, then, “I don’t understand this business or really anything you’re saying, but I like you Theth. I’m willing to invest in you.” Seth nods and smiles, “I’m tho happy to hear that.”
So, Seth Brown is a 2023 fantasy baseball sleeper, and you have to wonder if I took the “sleeper” part too literally because you’re yawning, looking at your coffee, wondering if you accidentally were given decaf. This ain’t decaf, baby boy! This is Seth Brown of the green and gold! Fun fact! The Oakland Athletics’ green and gold is for the money in Moneyball and the gold they sell at pawn shops to pay for their infielders. Speaking of gold (smooth segue, daddy!), Seth Brown’s stats last year (25/11/.230) ended up making him look like a poor man’s Goldy. Call him Seth Brass. Or maybe that’s Seth Brath. So, what can we expect from Seth Brown for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
Psyche! Before we get into the Seth Brown sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve begun to roll out my 2023 fantasy baseball rankings on our Patreon. It’s an early Hanukkah miracle! Or late Hanukah miracle, depending on when Hanukkah is this year. The Jews should really decide on one day to start Hanukah each year, and stick with it. It’s better for branding. Anyway II, the Seth Brown sleeper:
You might remember Seth Brown for breaking through the picket line organized by Dan Quayle, when the former VP saw the A’s lineup had hitting third and fourth was Murphy/Brown. You might also remember how now Brown, Seth was in 17 of the final 20 Buy columns, or thereabouts, because his 2nd half was so good. Maybe it was bad pitch o’clock, yeah, it’s Seth thirty, but my man was eating. 2nd half: 15 homers and .249 in 250 plate appearances. He was 23rd overall for all hitters in the final month, sitting right in front of Kyle Schwarber, as Brown hit eight homers and .256 with threes steals. You don’t see Bill Beige doing that!
If Seth Brown’s 2nd half were fluky, I wouldn’t be here. If he were juth a hot thmotato, then whoopie-dee-doo, but his rolling windows weren’t just to let the dog look out at passing traffic — he had the dog in him! His 2nd half barrels were 17.3%, which was 4th in the majors, behind Judge, Yordan and Schwarber. His wOBA was 23rd in the league just after Pete Alonso and Kolten Wong (uh, well, they’re not all exciting names). He had the 18th best SLG% just between Teoscar and Schwarber. Brown even cut his strikeout rate from previous years, looking way more like a .240 hitter than a .215 one he was previously. Will the newfound speed remain? No idea, but he stole 11 bags last year with only two caught stealings and with the limited pickoff moves, he could sneak into the 8-14 steal range. The biggest drawback is Seth Brown was used as a platoon guy, who sat vs. lefties, early in the year, but began to even hit vs. them later in the year, showing he can be an everyday player. Finally, the A’s realized: If it’s brown, flush it down. If it’s Seth Brown, keep it around!
Sure, Seth Brown is on the A’s and his name kinda makes him seem boring, but I’m gonna start calling him Middle Finger Brown, because that’s what he’s going to give to the haters. At his current ADP of around 200 overall, Seth Brown is an automatic win. No questions asked. It’s an impossible-to-miss slam dunk. Like investing in a turtlenecked Silicon Valley whiz kid…*intern whispers in ear*…Elizabeth Holmes wore turtlenecks? Hmm, okay. So, turtlenecks aren’t as can’t fail as I once thought. Seth Brown was 136th overall on last year’s Player Rater, though, so he’s pretty can’t miss. For 2023, I’ll give Seth Brown projections of 69/28/81/.238/9 in 539 ABs with a chance for more.