Lefty pitchers facing the Rangers this year just lost three Ks a game as righty, Ryan Garko, was added to the roster to spell Chris Davis. Then again, maybe not. If Seattle passed on him for a Kotchman/Sweeney blahtoon, what makes you think he’s going to light it up in Texas? The only person really happy about this is Mark Reynolds. His single season strikeout record just got some breathing room. This will hurt Davis’s Runs and RBIs a bit, but you weren’t drafting him for those stats anyway. Last year, Davis hit .189 and 4 homers in 122 ABs vs. lefties. You’re going to miss those numbers? Nah, Garko’s doing you a favor. So you might have to grab a waiver wire flier when the Rangers face a lefty-heavy staff, but if anything this helps Davis. He might now jump the .250 turdle. Anyway, here’s what else happened yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Joe Blanton – Could miss up to 6 weeks on the DL with a tweaked oblique (vague!). I told everyone to avoid him. So, if you drafted him, here’s the world’s smallest violin. Here’s me putting the world’s smallest violin on eBay. When someone meets the opening bid of one cent, I’ll have them play it for you.

Brian Roberts – He’s played in three consecutive games (watch out, Gehrig!) and says he’s fine. The Orioles grabbed Julio Lugo as insurance. I wouldn’t read too much into that. Roberts has a bad back and it may hinder his running game for a while. That’s the part I’d read into.

Brandon Webb – Had a cortisone shot for some swelling on his shoulder. Yeah, this sounds like it’s working out real well. Maybe when they surgically-repaired his shoulder they shouldn’t have used leftover tendons from Rich Harden.

Jermaine Dye – Reports are swirling that he almost signed with the Brewers. He’ll probably sign somewhere. When he does, he’ll have Ludwick-type value.

Blake DeWitt – Awarded the 2nd base job over Belliard.  Well, there goes my first round 1st baseman in Fantasy Razzball and the seven minutes I spent transforming my Donnie Ball t-shirt into a Ronnie Belliard jersey.  DeWitt’s an underappreciated comedic actress… Wait, Google, I’m looking for Blake DeWitt.  Oh, he’s a poor man’s Casey McGehee.

Carlos Beltran – Should be running in 10 days. That puts his first setback at around April 12th.

Daniel Murphy – Out for 6 weeks.  Dag Hammarskjöld!  Tough day for my Fantasy Razzball team.  Guess I’ll have to go with my third and fourth choice for 1st base and corner… Martin Prado and Chris Coste! Yes, Coste has 1st base eligibility. Thank you, 2009 Astros!

Mike Jacobs – He’ll be the new Mets first baseman. 2010 Mets program should read, “The brand new Mets, same as the old mess!” Jacobs could provide some cheap power in NL-Only leagues or deep mixed leagues at corner infidel, but only if he’s facing a righty. Those in keepers or deep NL-Only leagues will want to keep an eye on Ike Davis.

Mark Teixeira – Returned to game action after missing a few days with a bruised elbow, which is nowhere as delicious as a braised elbow. Tex’ll be fine; he’s durable.

Cristian Guzman – Played some outfield yesterday. A’la Nelson Muntz, Ha-Ha! Riggleman said, “I don’t want (Guzman) to get stale.” I replied, “Too late.” He didn’t hear me. Different rooms and all that.

Felipe Paulino – Named the Astros’ fifth starter. I’ll go over him this afternoon in the return of the Buy/Sell. You can hardly wait. No, you!

Angel Guzman – Said he’ll be ready for next season. Our breath is bated. On a related note, isn’t it weird how it’s pronounced Angel in English, but pronounced On-hell in Spanish? Hmm, that’s not that related.

Brian Anderson – Decided to ditch his career as an outfielder and try his hand at pitching.  He credited Kyle Davies as his inspiration and Chaz Bono for his courage.  Speaking of which, we need an entry for the Razzball Glossary for pitchers who become hitters and vice versa.  Suggest in the comments, thank you.

  1. Fresh says:

    wow, this post is full of stink

  2. Fresh says:

    or stank, however u pronounce

  3. Fresh says:

    subjects… of course

  4. SotoMojo says:

    Finished up my final draft last night. What do you think of it. Standard 12 team, 5×5 league. Also its the 4th year of a keeper league.

    B-B. Butler


  5. SotoMojo says:

    Maybe you can call the switch from pitcher to everyday player a “Slick Rick” after Ankiel.

  6. Had my razzball draft last night heres my team

    C K. Suzuki
    1B. M Teixeira
    2B D Pedroia
    SS A Andrus
    MI B Zobrist
    CI J Loney
    OF J Bay
    OF A Ethier
    OF A McCutchen
    OF J Pierre
    OF J Rivera
    U E Encarnacion

    P J Vazquez
    P M Garza
    P J De La Rosa
    P F Francisco
    P Clay Buchholz
    P O Dotel
    P M Capps
    P F Morales
    P K Gregg

    P G Floyd
    P J Niemann
    P J Masterson

  7. brett says:

    How about Completing the Circuit, as in becoming both halves of the battery?

  8. brett says:

    There has to be a good one with multiple personality disorder. I just can’t think of it.

  9. brett says:

    @brett: Re: Completing the Circuit – Yikes. I guess that would work if a catcher became a pitcher… I should get some sleep.

  10. penpen says:

    choco tacos

    They’re not really tacos, not really chocolate, not really that good at being either one…

    I personally kind of like choco tacos, but I also like the idea of calling Rick Ankiel a choco taco. I also just like saying choco taco.

    Choco taco.

  11. Adam says:

    Would Pitters or Hitchers be too simple? Not a lot of personality, but they get the job done

  12. Adam says:

    @Adam: Or…ManBearPig. Half ManBear, half Pig. Or was that half Man, half BearPig?

  13. big o says:


  14. big o says:


  15. atomeka says:

    What side would you want in a Chris Davis / Cueto / Buchholz trade for CQ / Matusz / Dotel? Thank you.

  16. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Mister Grey:

    My draft is tonight. Perusing your rankings, I found a few interesting pairings — for example, you’ve got Fowler as basically Borbon + 10 HRs, yet in most drafts Borbon’s a 10th rounder and Fowler is much cheaper.

    Then I remembered last year you did a great post along the lines of ‘Instead of this guy, take this guy’ (one triumph was the ‘instead of Chris Davis, take Mark Reynolds.’ Was there a similar post this year that I missed?

    Wish me luck tonight: I have a new strategy this year: Whoever Is Next, Get; Intuition Triumphs, or W.I.N.G – I.T.

  17. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    P.P.S. Am I crazy for thinking that Aubrey Huff is a decent last-round play? He’s hitting 4th in the Giants lineup. That ought to guarantee 90 RBIs. Is there another clean-up hitter you can get so cheap?

  18. Yummy says:

    They shall now be call “Flip Switchers” thank you..good night…drive safely.

  19. Toxic says:

    How about Pitch Hitter? or Buster Posing?

  20. MarkM says:

    How about “Failures that just want to cash in a few more league-minimum checks”

    Def too long, but I’m sticking with it!

  21. MarkM says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Who knows if Huff is going to bat there all year though.

    How deep is the league? I think I’d like *gasp* Milton Bradley or Chase Headley better as late-round middle of the order guys. If you need the 1B eligibility and you’re down to Huff, then I send you my condolences.

  22. Euroalien says:

    Had my RCL Draft last night………

    8 Miguel Cabrera, Det 1B
    17 Grady Sizemore, Cle OF
    32 Ryan Zimmerman, Was 3B
    41 Adam Lind, Tor OF
    56 Nelson Cruz, Tex OF
    65 Cole Hamels, Phi SP
    80 Clayton Kershaw, LAD SP
    89 Ian Stewart, Col 2B (YES!!!)
    104 Denard Span, Min OF (Thought he was good value this late)
    113 Chad Qualls, Ari RP (Don’t like this pick)
    128 Chad Billingsley, LAD SP
    137 Miguel Montero, Ari C (Too early for a C maybe)
    152 Brian Fuentes, LAA RP
    161 Alcides Escobar, Mil SS (Happy to have Alcides…)
    176 Ryan Dempster, ChC SP
    185 Everth Cabrera, SD SS (A nice MI….)
    200 Chase Headley, SD 3B (A nice CI…
    209 Johnny Cueto, Cin SP
    224 Elijah Dukes, Was OF (Not a fan but needed a #5 OF)
    233 Jon Rauch, Min RP
    248 Ervin Santana, LAA SP (A steal this late ?)
    257 Cameron Maybin, Fla OF (Util…..)
    272 Ryan Madson, Phi RP
    281 David Freese, StL 3B
    296 Matt Thornton, CWS RP

    I was pretty happy coming out of the draft…. saves might be an issue if Rauch doesn’t work out…. Anything else that looks weak and that needs work? Thanks

  23. Paper Tiger says:

    Pre-OPS – A pitcher who ditches the rosin bag, and picks up a bat, in an often futile effort to revive a failed career.

    Post-OPS A hitter who decides to try his hand, and the rest of his arm, as a pitcher in an often futile effort to revive a failed career.

    Minotard – Half pitcher, half hitter, all crap.

  24. MarkM says:

    @Paper Tiger: Micha Owings = real, living, breathing minotard?

  25. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    I was going to suggest “Jackalope”, but I think I like “Minotard” better…

  26. Jesse says:

    A Reverse Ankiel?

  27. fredaycouples says:

    12 Team 6×6 Mixed H2H with OPS and QS. Everybody was reaching for pitchers so it made it interesting to say the least. I’ll DL Brandon Webb soon. I couldn’t decide between Alicdes, Everth, and Furcal but I went with Alcides

    (K) Tim Lincecum SP
    (K) Chase Utley 2B
    (K) Joey Votto 1B
    (K) Ryan Zimmerman 3B
    5. (55) Jason Bay OF
    6. (66) Nelson Cruz OF
    7. (79) Bobby Abreu OF
    8. (90) Shane Victorino OF
    9. (103) Jered Weaver SP
    10. (114) Heath Bell RP
    11. (127) A.J. Burnett SP
    12. (138) Francisco Cordero RP
    13. (151) Geovany Soto C
    14. (162) David Price SP
    15. (175) Ervin Santana SP
    16. (186) Brandon Webb SP
    17. (199) Mike González RP
    18. (210) Mat Latos SP
    19. (223) Alcides Escobar SS
    20. (234) Hiroki Kuroda SP
    21. (247) Dexter Fowler OF

  28. Flag says:

    Dag Hammarskjöld!

    What’s the deal with you? This is about the 10th time you’ve thrown out an obscure reference that I hadn’t thought about in 40 years. I was a kid back then [I’m guessing you weren’t] when the Dag Hammarskjöld! stamp came out [you knew there was a stamp, right?] and we thought is was the funniest thing ever and used it as faux cursing. Either you study pop culture of the last 50 years continuously or you are of the undead.

  29. William says:

    How about “John Kerry” in honor of the most famous flip flopper. Usage is like “Rick Ankiel’s decided to John Kerry his career and become an outfielder.”

    “Jose Canseco was John Kerry’d when he tried to pitch and blew out his arm”

    Joe Nathan’s best career decision was when he went John Kerry and switched from an infielder to a pitcher while he was in the minors.

  30. Slinky says:

    is Strasburgh worth rostering til he comes up? RCL league. There is not much on waivers.

  31. Crafty35a says:

    Would you hang onto Buchholz, or take a flyer on Latos at this point?

  32. Greg says:

    Brian Roberts – He’s played in three consecutive games (watch out, Gehrig!) – Heheh, classic.

    In somewhat related news to an earlier post, I drafted Franklin Morales late. Here’s hoping the Huston Street detour lasts longer than planned… but more importantly I’m hoping that Morales actually pitches well.

  33. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @MarkM: It’s not so deep that there’s any danger of HAVING to take Huff. He just fits so nicely into my Ugly Unsexy plan this year — guys with no glamor, no buzz, and no upside.

  34. Adam says:

    I have Masterson and Carmona at the back end of my rotation. Would you drop either of these guys for Jermaine Dye or Matos Latos?

  35. mc serch says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I just looked at him yesterday…i need a bat to take Kinsler’s place (can slide Stewie over to 2B)…Huff’s not a bad late round play, little risk and he was a monster two years ago. If he doesn’t recapture that former glory, he’s just a guy with stats you can get off the wire (no, Grey, not THAT The Wire).

  36. sean says:

    @Grey: A Loewen Behold — a pitcher who has too much “potential” (read: been paid too much) to get fired, so they turn him into an “everyday” player.

    The UnNatural: a former “five-tool” player that looks more like a singular tool in the lineup. He takes a trip to visit Dr. Moreau where his only useful tool — his throwing arm — is turned into a mediocre minor league pitcher.

  37. Paper Tiger says:

    @Jesse: I like that idea. How about a “Broken Ankiel”?

  38. KarlJ. says:

    I am trying to think of a Razzball Glossary term- having a hard time. Maybe “Cross-Tosser” for a pitcher who wishes to become an everday player? Don’t know if that’s clever enough

  39. sean says:

    @KarlJ.: Cross-tosser better fits switch-pitcher Pat Venditte. Though, I doubt there’ll be another in our lifetime.

  40. Jake in Columbus says:

    Instead of pitters and hitchers, why not patters and bitchers? Sprained Ankiels, like Ankiel himself. Switch Bitchers since they’ll probably end up unhappy either way. Mantibore, similar to Minotard but more PC and yawnstipating. A liger is probably their favorite animal…

  41. Bill Lumbergh says:

    @Paper Tiger: Definitely “Minotard”.

  42. mc serch says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: hehe…I think the odds are against Huff having that kind of year again, what with the change of ballparks, change of leagues and, oh yeah, the imposing Mark DeRosa hitting behind him. But, hey, you never know, that’s why they call it a flier…I think Glaus has a better shot at putting up some numbers in Atl. this year.

  43. Gwyon says:

    Pitchers who become fielders—Baby Ruths

    Fielders who become pitchers—Ditchers

  44. Dom says:

    How come no one is talking about Punto beating out Harris for 3B in Min? God, AL-only leagues suck balls.

  45. Brad says:

    hitters to pitchers? How about reverse-Ankiels.

  46. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @Euroalien: I guess you didn’t hear Dukes was released by WAS two weeks ago?

  47. GopherDay says:

    Garkolepsy….I like it!

    Related note….dynasty league, would you trade Hoffman for Ian Desmond? My only other closer is Dotel and like a bajillion middle relievers that might get saves at some point.

  48. JoeC says:

    @Paper Tiger: Yes, although I think you can simplify it and just call pitchers who switch to hitting a “post-op hitter” and hitters who switch to pitching a “post-op pitcher”.

    I have no idea what you call that ambidextrous pitcher though. Millipede? Gorgon?

  49. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @GopherDay: Not a bad trade down the road, but why not wait until Desmond starts the season 2-for-22, everyone panics and mass-drops him or offers him to you in exchange for a Storm Davis rookie card?

  50. Smell The Glove says:

    “Lucky Pierre” – Baseball player that’s fortunate enough to be servicable as both a pitcher and fielder/hitter at the same time to help save his career.

    For those unfamiliar with the term and daring to find out what it really means feel free to Google it…just don’t do an image search while at work.

  51. Beau says:

    “He Got Zambranoed” — when a pitcher gives up a HR to the opposing pitcher.

  52. GTG says:

    Clement or Montero for C in a shallow league. Both are on waiver after I autodrafted Suzuki.

  53. majortommy says:

    Grey, my keeper draft is tomorrow and I am stumped on what to bring for food. Any suggestions? Should I say screw it and just pick up a couple of 18 packs of Miller Hi-Life bottles instead?
    Also, what do you think of Milton Bradley? Batting clean-up(behind Ichiro and Figgins) for Seattle. Worth a chance?

  54. infamy707 says:

    10 Team Keeper league

    7 Matt Kemp, LAD OF K
    17 Robinson Cano, NYY 2B K
    27 Joey Votto, Cin 1B K
    37 Troy Tulowitzki, Col SS K
    47 Adam Lind, Tor OF K
    57 Adam Wainwright, StL SP
    64 Curtis Granderson, NYY OF
    77 Ubaldo Jimenez, Col SP
    84 Matt Wieters, Bal C
    97 Wandy Rodriguez, Hou SP
    104 Ian Stewart, Col 2B
    114 Chad Billingsley, LAD SP
    117 Carlos Quentin, CWS OF
    124 Carlos Marmol, ChC RP
    137 Denard Span, Min OF
    144 David Aardsma, Sea RP
    157 Stephen Strasburg, Was SP
    164 Leo Nunez, Fla RP
    177 Octavio Dotel, Pit RP
    184 Alfonso Soriano, ChC OF
    197 Kevin Slowey, Min SP
    204 Garrett Jones, Pit 1B
    217 Chase Headley, SD 3B
    224 Clint Barmes, Col 2B

    What do you think? Should I try and Trade one of my pitchers + a closer for either Youk or Zimmerman to upgrade third?

  55. Denys says:

    Sounds like Corey Hart’s days are numbered in Milwaukee…

  56. JoeC says:

    @majortommy: I think a nice artichoke dip would be good. However, if that’s too high-falutin’ for you, try some Ritz crackers and a can of Cheez-Whiz (bacon-flavored, natch).

  57. Colin says:

    Now that Marcus Giles has been found guilty for assaulting his wife, how many want to bet him and Brian grew up with a violent drunk for a dad?

  58. JoeC says:

    @GTG: Montero. And it’s not even close.

  59. JoeC says:

    @Denys: Well that sux, since he’s on my team!

  60. majortommy says:

    @JoeC: I do make a hell of a spinach artichoke dip, thanks for the suggestion JoeC

  61. The Hebrew Hammer says:

    So, here’s my team. For the most part, I like it as I went offense heavy early and have a whole stable of pitchers, except I could seriously use another closer (the dash for closers was so intense, I spent $25 on Nunez and Frasor) so I have 3 hopeful MRs. Let me know what you guys think.
    Also, 2 people picked up 2 catchers (1 has ianetta/wieters, another has posada/suzuki, so hopefully I’ll be able to upgrade C. Also AJ P is shockingly available if Clement sucks)

    5×5 $260. 5 keepers.
    C- Jeff Clement
    1b – Ryan Howard
    2b – Chase Utley
    3b – Longoria
    SS – Alcides Escobar
    OF- Grady Sizemore
    OF- J. Upton
    OF- Nelson Cruz
    DH- K. Youklis
    DH – Dexter Fowler
    Bench – Jake Fox

    SP – C. Kershaw
    SP – W. Rodriguez
    SP- Ted Lilly
    SP – Scott Baker
    SP – Joel Pineiro
    SP – Filthy Sanchez
    SP – Aroldis Chapman
    SP – Gio Gonzalez
    RP – Leo Nunez
    RP – Jason Frasor
    RP – Mike adams (anyone know which reliever has the lead in taking over the closers role when bell is traded?)
    RP – Matt Thornton
    RP – Brandon Lyon
    DL – Erik Bedard

    Also, Ian Stewart. No longer a sleeper. He went for $18. Nuts.
    @ sean. Thank you for your post yesterday about Sagnof shortstops.
    And thank you Grey. Daiquiris to follow.

  62. Jarrad says:

    Pitcher that becomes a hitter: RBI-curious

  63. Jarrad says:

    Hitter that becomes a pitcher: A failure (ok, I didn’t try very hard on that one… :P)

  64. Eddy says:

    Unfortunately there’s a glossary term made just for that. It’s
    called “Getting Pitchslapped”

  65. mrbaseball says:


    Roster Positions: C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, OF, OF, OF, Util, SP, SP, RP, RP, P, P, BN, BN, BN, BN, BN, DL, DL
    Batters Stat Categories: Runs (R), Hits (H), Home Runs (HR), Runs Batted In (RBI), Stolen Bases (SB), Errors (E), Batting Average (AVG), On-base Percentage (OBP)
    Pitchers Stat Categories: Innings Pitched (IP), Wins (W), Losses (L), Saves (SV), Strikeouts (K), Holds (HLD), Earned Run Average (ERA)

    WAIVER PLAYERS – Julio Borbón -Drew Stubbs FREE AGENT – Sean Rodriguez
    WHAT MOVES SHOULD I MAKE GREY – Stubbs comes off waiver market one day in advance of Borbon

    Chris Iannetta
    (Col – C)
    Miguel Cabrera
    (Det – 1B)
    Alberto Callaspo
    (KC – 2B,3B)
    Ryan Zimmerman
    (Was – 3B)
    Everth Cabrera
    (SD – SS)
    Curtis Granderson
    (NYY – OF)
    Adam Dunn
    (Was – 1B,OF)
    Jay Bruce
    (Cin – OF)
    Jason Heyward
    (Atl – Ultitly
    Matt LaPorta
    (Cle – 1B,OF) bench
    Carlos Gómez – I put his name in – and took a steal shot
    (Mil – OF) bench

    Ricky Nolasco
    (Fla – SP)
    Matt Garza
    (TB – SP)
    Kevin Slowey
    (Min – SP)
    Jonathan Sánchez
    (SF – SP)
    Aroldis Chapman
    (Cin – SP)
    David Aardsma
    (Sea – RP)
    Chris Pérez
    (Cle – RP)
    Matt Lindstrom
    (Hou – RP)

  66. mrbaseball says:

    left Mike González RP off team

  67. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Pitcher to hitter – Ankiel-bend? If Ownings made the shift, you could use Micah-Mutation.

  68. ichirosan says:

    What about “batting for THAT other team”?

    Or he became a “switch-pitcher”?

    He’s now “swinging the wrong way”?

    Sorry, I need my morning coffee.

  69. brad says:

    @Smell The Glove: Lucky Pierre is good, but probably works best if a guy played both pitcher and catcher. In Brian Anderson’s case. . . Power Bottom?

  70. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Pitch-Fork? Switch-Flopped?

  71. ThreeFingersBrown says:

    A Babe Ruth wannebe: Ruthabee

  72. Lob Ball says:

    SI shows Clint Barmes batting at the bottom of the order for the Rockies. Would it be prudent to replace him on my team with Sean Rodriguez or Mike Aviles as a MI?

  73. Terrence Mann says:

    Tony Pena jr. is a Minotard not to keep your eye on in the future.

  74. danielpwnz says:

    Pitchhikers? Sigh…it’s all I got…

  75. wily mo says:

    “RBI-curious” is definitely the best one so far. it’s too bad it only works in one direction.

    pre-OPS and post-OPS are a good effort – properly thematic – i want to like them – but they just feel a little unwieldy to me. and again, directional, although at least a matched set.

    i actually kind of like jackalope the best out of possible catchall terms so far. “brian anderson now wears the horns of the jackalope.” …although i guess that just makes it sound like his wife cheated on him with berk breathed.

  76. Exile in Dixie says:

    How about calling them Ernie Anastos? More than likely, their days as a big league hopeful are done, but look at them pulling out all the stops to stay relevant. Keep f***ing that chicken, fellas.

  77. Exile in Dixie says:

    If I lose in the primaries, I am blatantly giving my love to pre-OPS and post-OPS.

  78. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Well, I’m glad that I’m not the only one wasting away a morning thinking of suitable Glossary entrys. Of course, you have a chance of getting your 15 minutes of Razzball fame by being the author of a Glossary Term. Interstingly enough, what first attracted me to Razzball was the Glossary. The first time I espied the terms Schmohawk, Sonofabench, Cuddle Boy, Cleveland Streamer, I was hooked.

    Of course, you could spend your time fruitlessly, if you in the exclusive INSIDER CLUB, reading the latest “insight” by one of our fav fantasy writers, telling us how Mike Jacobs is a fantasy sleeper.

  79. Denys says:

    @JoeC: It could be much like Pence’s situation in Houston – where the management is just trying to stoke a little fire under him to produce. I think this is a year to make it or break for for both of those thugs.

    It’s funny: last year I had Pence/Hart/Rios on my team after the draft and was excited to have (what I thought at the time) a lock @ three 20/20 guys in my outfield. Then the season played itself out.

    Boy was I wrong!

  80. Lines says:

    I think Wily Mo’s assessment of the names is dead-on (minus the jackalope thing, which I’m really not feeling) and in spite of the fact that his username brings tears of rage to my eyes (Sox fan).

    Anybody have thoughts on Cueto’s back trouble? Wait and see, or drop his underperforming-in-the-2nd-half-anyway ass for Miguel Tejada, whose bat and SS/3B eligibility would be pretty damn nice to have on my “bench,” which currently consists of a lot of nice places to sit.

  81. Paper Tiger says:

    @JoeC: I was using OPS as a tip of the hat to the stat geeks.

  82. brad says:

    RBI Curious is also good, I missed that one the first time I scrolled through.

  83. Professor Chaos says:

    @Grey: Baker and Slowey for Nolasco and Liriano…which side ya got?

  84. Lines says:

    @Prof. Chaos – I personally would go Baker and Slowey. Much less risk.

  85. Jordan73 says:

    Three things:

    1 – 10×10 HtH league, I just swapped Manny for BJ Upton. My team’s light on power already, but I don’t trust Manny. If Upton can hit .275 I think he’s worth it, and then if I need to I can swap him for a big bat.

    2 – Have Robot Jones on my bench, but Heyward is available. Should I give Jones a couple weeks or just grab Heyward now? If if factors in your opinion, I also have McCutchen and Doumit and I don’t care for having too many players from the same team, especially if it’s the Bucs.

    3 – It may be a year late, but my team name is Inglorious Batturs. Hadn’t seen it anywhere else, so I thought I’d share it here.


  86. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Jordan73: Like the team name. Well-played.

    I think, in general, hopes are too high for Heyward. It’s not often — like, not ever, save for A-Rod — that 20 year olds make a major impact. He’s a great talent, but so were Justin Upton and Ken Griffey and they both took a few years to settle in.

    To me the attraction of Heyward is picking him up and, if he hits 2 HRs on Opening Day, trading him for, like, Carlos Lee. But I wouldn’t bank on big numbers all year.

  87. HighNOutside says:

    ” Speaking of which, we need an entry for the Razzball Glossary for pitchers who become hitters and vice versa.”

    Howzabout “Flop-flippers”? Because they wouldn’t be changing position unless they were, you know….

  88. JoeC says:

    @Lines: Cueto this Spring has looked like the same pitcher he’s always been: Ks a lot of people, but gives up a fark-ton of hits and runs. No thank you.

    Paraphrasing Dennis Green, “He is who we thought he was.”

  89. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:

    @Professor Chaos: Baker and Slowey for WHIP/ERA; Nolasco and Liriano for Ks.

  90. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    re: Heyward — for example, a line like .280/20/80 would win him ROY. It would be considered a marvelous breakthrough and portent of greatness to come. But it’s also exactly the kind of stat production you can get from any schmohawk OF off the wire. Like, say, Robot Jones.

  91. Grey

    Grey says:

    @SotoMojo: Your pitching looks fine, the problem is it looks like you have to play Pierre so then you’re light on power. And if you don’t play Pierre you’ll be light on speed. It’s a slight pickle.

    @SotoMojo: re: Slick Rick — Not feeling it.

    @mremis: Your hitting’s okay, I think your pitching’s going to be a big problem. Some don’t have the concerns about Vazquez as I have, so you could be okay. But I’d be worried.

    @brett: Not feeling those.

    @penpen: Obviously funny phrase/product, but not sure it’s clear enough.

    @Adam: Eh, they’re okay.

    @big o: Wow, where you been?

    @atomeka: Neither? I’d take CQ.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: An alternative post? No, didn’t do it this year. Sorry.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: re: Huff — Yeah, slightly mad.

    @Yummy: That’s not bad, but I think we have the winner below.

    @Toxic: Wasn’t crazy about it.

    @MarkM: Hehe

    @Euroalien: Average might be an issue too, but overall that looks like a pretty solid team. One of the better RCL teams I’ve seen in fact. Well done.

    @Paper Tiger: I think we have a winner. The trifecta. The first two are hilarious and obvious to a reader who wouldn’t have read the glossary before, so that’s perfect. Well done.

    @fredaycouples: Not a bad team, even the Webb selection, while I don’t agree with, I can understand since it’s a keeper. The outfield looks light on power and I’m not sure it’s made up elsewhere on the team.

    @Flag: Undead

    @William: Funny, but winner above.

    @Slinky: I wouldn’t yet.

    @Crafty35a: Buchholz

    @Greg: Thanks!

    @Adam: Carmona for Latos.

    @sean: Nice definitions but not crazy about the words.

    @KarlJ.: That’s funny too. I think you’re coming in a close second.

    @Jake in Columbus: That’s not bad, like the above one better.

    @Gwyon: I think we have a better one above.

    @Dom: Yeah, AL-Only is tough. Rudy just put in a waiver claim for Matt Harrison. Blech.

    @Brad: Eh

    @GopherDay: I’d want Desmond.

    @Beau: There’s a term for that. Pitchslapped.

    @Smell The Glove: Hehe

    @GTG: Montero

    @majortommy: Sure re: Bradley

    @infamy707: Yeah, get Zimmerman if you can.

    @Colin: Ha!

    @The Hebrew Hammer: How many teams?

    @Jarrad: That’s funny. Might be able to work it into the definition.

    @mrbaseball: I’d lose Gomez for Borbon. If you don’t think you’ll get Brobon, I’d grab Stubbs over Gomez.

    @Paulie Allnuts: Eh

    @ichirosan: Eh

    @ThreeFingersBrown: Eh

    @Lob Ball: Sean-Rod’s at the bottom of the order too, I’d take him over Barmes though.

    @Terrence Mann: Ha!

    @danielpwnz: Eh

    @Exile in Dixie: Ernie!

    @Lines: Wait and see.

    @Professor Chaos: Nolasco

    @Jordan73: Baron’s making sense below. Nice team name.

    @HighNOutside: Eh

  92. JoeC says:

    @Professor Chaos: I would risk it and take the Nolasco/Liriano side of that, simply because Nolasco is the best player overall and it always pays to get the best player in a trade. And Liriano is all upside… could be huge.

    I think you could pick a pitcher up off the waiver wire and, paired with Nolasco, still beat Baker/Slowey combo.

  93. Lines says:

    @JoeC: Thanks, I’d already come to the same conclusion and dropped him. He’s just easier to replace than a guy who could hit .300 at two different positions while batting clean-up in a decent line-up.

  94. GTS says:

    Would you start Correia @ARZ, Matusz @TB, and Romero @TEX this week?

  95. Lines says:

    @Grey: Holy crap, man… Either you’re sitting on a chair made of caviar in a house made of gold, or you’re really just the kind of dude who would read through 90-odd comments and answer all of them. That’s pretty rad. I think we all owe you a big fat thanks. So, y’know. Thanks!

  96. GhostfacePrzybilla says:

    So everyone in my league is in lockdown mode as the season approaches, and I’m in pretty desperate need of an OF. No one wants to trade, saying they’d like to see how their teams develop first.

    This makes me think I should go after some older guys that people wouldn’t mind parting with as much. I need a list of established 2nd OF type guys to target. I’m thinking Ibanez types, with Carlos Lee being the top of the range I’m looking at. Advice on targets?

  97. Professor Chaos says:

    @Paulie Allnuts: I cancelled my subscription to said website as soon as I found Razzball.

    @Simply Fred: @Lines: Thanks for the insight. I feel like Nolasco and Liriano might have the higher ceiling between the two sides, but also a lower floor.

  98. Eric H. says:

    On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate Latos Intolerant as a team name?

  99. Professor Chaos says:

    @JoeC: @Grey: Thanks guys

  100. How ’bout:

    rightbender, leftbender


    transbatright, transbatleft

  101. brad says:

    @Eric H.: 7

  102. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Lines: Seconded.

    @GhostfacePrzybilla: Why not wait and see how your team develops?

    You’re going to overpay for some old dude now — everyone loves the team they drafted — and who knows? Maybe the Ryan Ludwick or Adam Lind of 2010 falls in your lap. Or a Chris Shelton, who you can then flip for Ibanez or something better. Better to watch the wire closely than waste time trying to pry loose Man-Ram.

    In a related story: Y’all need to chill with the preseason trading. Why do people do this? Unless you actually forgot to draft a position, or you’re in a super-deep league and some noodle chokes and offers you Votto for Hoffman, why not wait and see what happens? I would never make a trade in the first month of the season, and I never have.


  103. Grey – you at the Mac Store again? You’ve got to drop that Prodigy account and get a real ISP.

    Minotard made me laugh but not specific enough.

    I like Pre-OPS/Post-OPS but it requires two terms. The whole point is these players are 2-in-1.

    My suggestion is:

    Herbathrowdite – (her-bat-throw-dite) – A player that has both hitter and pitcher tools yet isn’t very attractive in either capacity.

  104. KarlJ. says:

    @Eric H.:
    I like it but it does imply that you are not a big fan of Latos.
    I nabbed Votto late in one draft and my team name became ” Grand Theft Votto”. In another league I have “The Braun Supremacy” although I admit I lifted those from another website that I had seen them on.

  105. Grey

    Grey says:

    @GTS: No on Romero.

    @Lines: Salmon roe.

    @GhostfacePrzybilla: Can’t be that desperate before the season starts.

    @Eric H.: Think I used that last year when a team hit him hard.

    @Rudy Gamble: Look at you trumping them all. Nice!

  106. Eddy says:

    @Rudy Gamble:
    Ha! That’s hilarious Rudy

  107. Eric H. says:

    @Grey: Damn, that’s not cool. Better switch it back to Mid-Season Callaspo.

  108. nate t. says:

    I just finished a draft the other day. What do you guys think? 5X5 12 Team Roto

    C J Clement
    1B J Morneau
    2B B Phillips
    3B D Wright
    SS E Cabrera
    OF M Holliday
    OF N Cruz
    OF H Pence
    U C Quentin
    DL C Beltran

    SP J Lester
    SP C Kershaw
    SP R Nolasco
    SP M Garza
    SP R Oswalt
    SP D Price
    SP J Sanchez
    RP B Wagner
    RP L Nunez
    RP M Gonzalez
    RP J Rauch
    RP M Lindstrom

    I feel like I’m a little light in power. I can potentially trade Morneau, Lester, and Beltran for Pujols though I’m not sure if the upgrade from Morneau to Pujols would outset losing Lester.

  109. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nate t.: I don’t like that trade for you. I don’t think you’re that light on power. Looks like a solid hitting and pitching team. Like the way you have some upside guys and also a solid foundation.

  110. majortommy says:

    I also picked up Coste for my Razzball team. I was equally as stoked to find that Aviles and Rob Johnson were getting the starting nods and available!

  111. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @nate t.: This team looks very much like how I’d like my team to look, if all goes well. I’m guessing you drafted — 10th pick? Took Wright, Holliday on the turn, then Morneau/Phillips/Cruz/Lester/Kershaw/Nolasco? I’d be curious to know your draft order.

    Though personally I’m staying away from Bran-Phil because that dude is dead to me thanks to last year. Third-round pick, turd-round pick.

  112. wily mo says:

    herbathrowdite sounds like a poison ivy cure

  113. GTS says:

    What can we hope for from Kinsler this year? 20/20, 25/25???

  114. KarlJ. says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins:
    Curious to why you think B Phillips was that big a bust last year. Dude did have 98 rbi’s, 20 hrs and 25 sb’s.

  115. Grey

    Grey says:


  116. MJD says:

    Im thinking “PitchOuts” for those Faux pitcher transitional guys who couldnt make it in OF

  117. Grey

    Grey says:

    @MJD: That’s not bad, but it doesn’t beat others, I don’t think.

  118. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: First and foremost I thoroughly respect your knowledge. Glad to see you in full force (after a winter layoff).

    RE: reasons to trade pre-season:

    Much has changed in the ONE week since I drafted. New closer roles, injured players, some significant; managers have made FA pickups. I use Grey’s projections via the War Room to evaluate my projections and standing in the league. I enter FA changes as they occur. Needless to say there is much fluidity. Rather than trying to “take advantage” of other players, I look for a win-win situation. I have found a couple where each of us “wins” by moving up compared to the rest of the league.

    Unfortunately, I can see that others share your perspective and are hesitant to pull the trigger (both trade offers were rejected). I like my team also, so not a problem for me to be content working the FA list.

    Just wanted to share that there are reasons to consider a pre-season trade.

  119. nate t. says:

    Yes, I drafted with the 10th pick. You pretty much have the order I picked them at except switching Morneau and Phillips around. I was deciding between Phillips and Cano but went with the overall game instead. Thanks for the help guys.

  120. MJD says:

    anybody offer “no hitters” yet

  121. zombiehead says:

    Pitchers who become hitters: Ruthies

    Hitters who become pitchers: Mendozas

  122. Coolitor says:

    Glossary Entry
    Pitchers who become hitters OF vice versa: Unemployed

  123. Brian says:

    Thinking of trading Felix Hernandez for Matt Holliday. My SPs beside F-Her are Kershaw, Wandy, Baker, Jurrjens, Hudson, Sanchez, Slowey, and Wolf. My OFs are Kemp, Span, Ludwick, Rajai, and Heyward.

    Any suggestions or input?

Comments are closed.