Chad Qualls is probably done for the season.  The closer shituation isn’t going to be pretty in Arizona, unfortunately.  We’re looking at a closerousel.  I’d list the candidates in this order:  Juan Gutierrez, Clay Zavada, Esmerling Vasquez, Daniel Schlereth and Blaine Boyer.  Reading those names again, I vomited into a trash bin and the ghost of Hoyt Wilhelm materialized and said in a British accent, “Be careful, Grey.  Gutierrez is iffy at best and Zavada can’t see past his mustache when he pitches from the stretch.”  Because times are lean for saves in a few of my leagues, I’ll cop to grabbing the first two guys.  Careful about going with any of them if you don’t need saves.  But really, who doesn’t need saves?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Krispie Young – In America, everyone gets a 2nd chance — John Travolta, Michael Vick and the police officer from The Village People.  Maybe people get 2nd chances in Kathmandu.  I don’t know.  I’ve never heard anyone say, “Everyone gets a 2nd chance in Kathmandu.”  Krispie returns to the majors and should be play nearly every day.  What can we expect?  Nothing.  How’s that optimism?  But what can he do?  Well, he’s been hot in his recent Triple-A stint and he had a decent 2nd half last year.  Absolute ceiling of expectations would be 4 homers and 4 steals in September.  It’s not going to save your team, but it could help.

Scott Kazmir – In case you don’t have cable in your dungeon, Kazmir was traded to the Angels.  Maybe going out to Dave & Buster’s after every game, rather than Hooters will help focus Spazmir, but I have my doubts.  He’s been no joy to own thus far this year, and I’m skeptical that he suddenly will turn things around.

Andy Sonnanstine – He’ll get the call this Tuesday to replace Kazmir.  And, as you know, Tuesday is the new hump day.

Jake Peavy – His elbow had a “recurrence of tightness.”  Sounds like a bad Ashton Kutcher movie.  Oh, wait, they’re all bad.  Hey, look at me, I Twitter!  I’m Ashton Kutcher!  I’m in movies opposite Anne Heche! Sorry, I don’t like Kutcher.  So, Peavy’s having problems with his elbow… Well, I didn’t expect him to save many teams in September, but I did think he could be helpful.  Now, not so sure.  If you have no room on your DL, I’d consider dropping him.

Akinori Iwamura – HR yesterday.  Sitting under your MI trellis with Everth Cabrera, Gordon Beckham and Alexei Ramirez and Akinori walks up with a nice glass of iced tea.  Do you ask someone to get up so Aki can sit down?  Right now, Iwamura’s hitting at the bottom of the lineup, but that could change if he hits.  But really the best thing you can hope for from him is Runs and only if he’s at the top of the lineup.

Joba Chamberlain – 3 IP, 2 ER.  The Yankees said they were abandoning Joba Rules (skipping him).  But it seems like they’re just altering the rules to include starting him but then pulling him early in games (after 35 pitches on Sunday).  That does no one any good in fantasy.  Punt!

Jermaine Dye – HR yesterday as he went 2-for-11 over the weekend with one RBI.  I’m still fine with abandoning him.  Don’t look back in anger, Liam.

Matt Kemp – HR yesterday and recently he’s been batting in the top half of the lineup.  A commenter asked me if I would draft Sizemore or Kemp first in 2010.  At first I said Sizemore, but it’s very close and I could see February Grey changing his mind on that.  Kemp really has been that great this year.

Bronson Arroyo – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  His run of quality starts continues.  I don’t play for Wins because they’re hard to predict, but I will say Arroyo has been miserably unlucky… Or maybe the Reds have just been miserably bad.  Either way, Arroyo’s not a great bet for wins, but he’s been solid in ratios.

Sean West – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Has a respectable ERA (4.22) but a terrible K/BB ratio (47/35).  He gets the Nationals and the Mets in his next two starts.  To some that may sound like the cat’s meow and the cat’s pajamas.  Well, I’m not a cat person.

Adrian Gonzalez – Sat out two straight days with a bicep(s?) injury.  He pinch hit though on Sunday so it shouldn’t be too serious.  I did enjoy seeing Oscar Salazar batting third yesterday.  He’s the 1st baseman; first basemen bat 3rd!  Bonkers, I tell ya.  Bonkers…  Oh, but it did work as Salazar went 3-for-4.  Inconceivable!

Feliz Pie – Has 3 homers in the last four games while batting near .400 over the last week.  That’s some tasty pee-ay.

Paul Byrd – 6 IP, 6 baserunners, 0 ER as he got the start for the Sawx.  I wouldn’t pick him up with your team.

Garrett Jones – Hit his 16th homer yesterday.  In other news, are you kidding me?!

Julio Borbon – Only got on base once and he stole a base.  Can someone conference call Alcides Escobar and Borbon so we can get Alcides running?  I’ll moderate/translate.  Anyone know how to say SAGNOF in Spanish?

Carlos Zambrano – 3 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners.  This ain’t exactly like predicting in 1975 that OJ Simpson will one day kill his wife, but end up in prison for trying to steal his own memorabilia, but when you can’t get out of the 4th inning vs. the Mets something is not right.

Kendry Morales – 2-for-4 with his 30th homer yesterday.  He hits .311 on the year as he nears 100 RBIs.  Still, I get the feeling he might be underrated next year.

Zach Greinke – 1 hitter vs. the Mariners.  Hopefully, the BBWAA can skim their eyes to the right of his Win total.

Russell Branyan – Headed to the DL.  But, wait, who’s going to give me my 1-for-12 with a homer every third game?  Later, Branyan.  Way to regress to your subpar norm in the 2nd half.

Carlos Gonzalez – Returned with a stolen base.  Hopefully, CarGo can pick up where he left off before his steak and ail.

  1. TheGreatVeto says:

    robos y salva no tienen cara

  2. Steve says:

    I traded for Dye at about midway during the season, looking for those dependable power numbers. Never quite happened.

    Just have to roll with it I guess.

    Loudest gig I ever heard…

  3. Quintero says:

    Carlos Carrasco will start @Det at Tue.. I’m picking him up and dropping Brandon Allen. Might even start him!

  4. Steve says:

    Richard against the Nats on Tuesday. Definitely? Maybe?

  5. Levo says:

    Razzball is definitely the best fantasy baseball site out there, and I was wondering if anyone knows any really good fantasy football sites (outside of the usual yahoo/espn stuff). Thanks.

  6. d2bnz says:

    steak and ail …….hahaha I get it , steak and ail Ha

  7. knighttown says:

    Now that CarGo is back do I drop Fukudome for him on a team where its avg>runs>sb and RBI/HR don’t matter?

  8. stumanji says:

    Qualls replacement: Nunez, Jim Johnson, or MacDougal? I’m thinkin’ Leo.

  9. Nathan says:

    I was desperate for saves before, and now I’m REALLY desperate for saves. At least Qualls got the one last save as he went down for the count. Meh. Is Chris Perez worth a look? Too much to hope that Kerry Wood’s shoulder is worse than they’re letting on?

  10. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @stumanji: id go nunez

  11. Mr. Rickey says:

    Which two-starters would you go with this week: Oswalt, EJAX, DLR, Sanchez – I could start up to three of them; K’s are good but I can’t afford poor ERA/WHIP as it appears these categories will decide who wins the league.

    Also, drop Scherzer for Arroyo?

  12. Christopher says:

    Who do you want down the stretch: Quentin or CarGo?

  13. danimal35 says:

    I have to drop one of my SS…which one Tejada or S. Drew?

  14. Tony says:

    Anyone with any guesstimates on ADP for these guys next year:

    Kendry Morales
    adam jones
    garrett jones
    gordon beckham
    Mark Reynolds

    Just a few names….

  15. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:

    1. “I don’t play for Wins because they’re hard to predict”
    2. “Arroyo’s not a great bet for wins”
    These statements are mutually exclusive. NO picther is a great bet for wins, nor a great bet for losses.
    3. Attend to “I will say Arroyo has been miserably unlucky… Or maybe the Reds have just been miserably bad.”
    Please, no “I need wins” requests to this site.

  16. Frank Rizzo says:

    When CarGo went down I switched to McCutchen. Now with CarGo back, who’s the better source of SB’s, R’s, BA? I kind of like CarGo better b/c in Yahoo he’s RF/CF/LF eligible and McCutchen is CF eligible only. I like the flexibility.

  17. MikeE says:

    So now that Huff’s been traded and is platooning who would you prefer at 3rd — Huff or Kouzmanoff?

  18. Grey

    Grey says:

    @TheGreatVeto: Thank you!

    @Quintero: It’s risky, but sometimes you need to take the risk.

    @Steve: I’m going with him. But it might be it for him if he fails.

    @knighttown: Eh, I wouldn’t.

    @stumanji: Yeah, Nunez

    @Nathan: I’d try Perez.

    @Mr. Rickey: Jackson, Sanchez and I’d go with Arroyo if Ks don’t matter as much as ratios.

    @Christopher: Quentin

    @danimal35: Tejada

    @Frank Rizzo: If the flexibility matters to you, then I can see sticking with him, but I’d prefer McCutchen.

  19. big o says:

    are you mad ? rushing to pick-up kouzmanoff !!?

  20. Jeff says:

    16 team 5×5 roto league. Start standard positions, except 4 OF’s and U. Start 8 pitchers(Can be 8 SP, 8 RP or any combination). We lose the round the player was drafted. Then the next year if you keep them it’s that round minus 3. Which 3 to keep for 2010?

    Ryan Zimmerman – 7
    Adam Jones – 9
    J. Vazquez – 11
    Votto – 13
    McLouth – 16
    McCutchen – 21

  21. Tony says:

    throw shields today?

  22. Razzin says:

    Matsui usually plays against lefties? Think he’ll be on the bench today against Guthrie?

  23. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Jeff: Votto, Zimmerman, McCutchen… (It was tough, and I juggled a few different in that last spot.)

  24. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Tony: I think you have to, unfortunately.

    @Razzin: Probably will be benched.

  25. Despite owning Johnson (who may deserve upgraded Donkey-Corn consideration) as a 4th Closer in a 10 Team League, Brain Freezes are torture. However, if also a Qualls owner & MacDougal is available, would it be recommended to not wait on the Qualls diagnosis and double the odds of a brain freeze with one week before playoffs? If one of those schmohawks ruin a playoff week with a painful self inflicted brain freeze the SAGNOF battle cry will ring hollow all offseason. Too risky if 1/2 of your closers (2 of 4) are likely brain freeze candidates? Better to carry three & possibly wait on a miraculous kneecap recovery for the playoffs, similar to how the nutritious crunchberry ignited the production of that delicious breakfast cereal?

  26. Matt K says:

    Iwamura, prado, beckham, Laporta for IF. All have their problems right now.

  27. big o says:

    tough choices … only 3 … in a 16 team keeper .

    i guess you have to trust in adam jones continued development .
    you need someone to anchor your staff ….. so stay with vazquez .
    leaving zimmerman or votto .
    votto .
    power #’s , avg . , injury issues , ballpark factors , replacement issues , upside .

    but , it’s close , i guess .

  28. Tony says:

    @Jeff: so in your league jeff you cant keep a guy if you draft him in the first 3 rounds correct? just checking my league is adopting a new keeper policy for nextyear, and i like this idea if thats what i’m thinking it is….

  29. big o says:

    a) damn . what are you doing up , so early ?
    b) i guess i should “refresh” before i respond .
    c) no “c” .

  30. Mr. Rickey says:

    Use Beckett this week @TB – he seems to be finishing the season the way he started.

  31. Grey

    Grey says:

    @zombie: Johnson’s given up runs in two of the last four games so I’m not sure he’s a donkey-corn. Though I wouldn’t wait on Qualls if you need saves. I’d grab someone else if you had to. Though in most circumstances, I would wait. It’s a tough call, but I’d grab MacDougal.

    @Matt K: Depends on needs. I’d go Iwamura for average, Runs and Beckham for everything else.

    @big o: Ha!

    @Mr. Rickey: You have to start him if you own him, but he obviously hasn’t been great.

  32. @zombie:

    I think Grey’s in charge of being corny here.

  33. Razzin says:

    Need RBI/SB/AVG. Best SS for the last month: E.Aybar, Everth Cab, Maicer Izturis, Beckham?

  34. struggler says:

    H2H OBP league. Napoli or Wieters for the rest of the year?

  35. arussell1983 says:

    Need to catch up in steals this last week of 2 week matchup, drop barmes for andrus or everth cabrera?

  36. Maximus says:

    Until pitchers realize that they cannot throw a fastball by Garrett Jones I would own him in all leagues. He can’t hit the breaking ball but he is still putting up the numbers.

  37. Spencer says:


    take a flier on:

    Clayton Richard against nats at home
    kyle davies at oakland
    nippert at Toronto

  38. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    ***16-team, H2H-Points League***

    Need a win to clinch my division. Looking for advice on who to start this week:

    #1: Prado or Velez at 2B?

    #2: Pick TWO from the following:

    Andy Marte
    Adam LaRoche
    Matt Diaz
    Angel Pagan

    #3: Gotta risk Adrian Gonzalez at 1B, right? Other options are LaRoche or Marte.


  39. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    Whoops…forgot to include by boy Beckham…


    ***16-team, H2H-Points League***

    Need a win to clinch my division. Looking for advice on who to start this week:

    #1: Prado or Velez at 2B?

    #2: Pick TWO from the following:

    Gordon Beckham
    Andy Marte
    Adam LaRoche
    Matt Diaz
    Angel Pagan

    #3: Gotta risk Adrian Gonzalez at 1B, right? Other options are LaRoche or Marte.


  40. Beau says:


    Im sure many people would disagree, but here are my shots in the dark after returning from lunch…
    Wright: 20-30
    Kemp: 10-20
    Kendry Morales: 40ish
    adam jones: 40ish
    garrett jones: 80-100
    mccutchen: 80ish
    Lind: 60ish
    gordon beckham: 80ish
    Longoria: 20ish
    greinke: 40-50
    Werth: 50ish
    Mark Reynolds: 10-20

  41. Doug Ault says:

    @Grey:I nominate “Peav’d” as a new razzball term for players who mess with your mind and tease over a season.Reyes is another example, but “Peav’d sounds better ;-)

  42. Matt K says:

    Which former SP is going to be better in line for HOLDS going forward
    1) Liriano
    2) Randy Johnson
    3) Brett Meyers

  43. Spencer says:

    And who would you drop out of this group:

    Chris Davis

    my offense is strong, but my pitching is meh. i really just have to stream pitchers this whole week, and I’d rather not have a bench bat.

  44. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    Can only start 5 SP’s…which of the following six gets the bench for this week?

    Harden: HOU (vsOswalt), @NYM (Figueroa)
    Haren: @COL (Hammel)
    Lincecum: @PHI (Happ)
    Marquis: NYM (Misch)
    Smoltz: MIL (Parra)
    Lowe: CIN (Maloney)

    Can’t sit Lincecum even though he has the toughest match-up; Harden has two starts;
    Marquis has an easy game against the Muts;
    Lowe was @FLA but is now home against a tomato can;
    Haren is the obvious choice @COL, but he’s coming off a real solid outing;

    What do I do?

  45. Jif & The Choosy Mothers says:

    Please rank best keepers for next year in a deep league.

    Eric Young Jr., Andy Marte, Chris Young, Brandon Allen, Sean Rodriguez, Delmon Young

  46. Grey

    Grey says:


  47. spencer says:

    Would you drop Davis over Wieters?

  48. Jeff says:

    @ Tony – If a guy was drafted this year in rounds 1-3 you can keep him and you lose that rounds draft pick next year. However the year after that you can’t. Also be sure to make rules if players fall in the same round (will happen with trades). We say if the player you didn’t draft was drafted before your player you lose the earlier round and if he was drafted after that you lose the round after and get a bargain.

  49. hayamate says:

    SAGNOF in spanish: Bases Robadas No Tienen Rostro or BRNTR

  50. Jackie says:

    Anyone starting Padilla against the Diamondbacks? I like him better than Richards though I have been drinking.

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