I have to be honest, part of me hopes Kila Ka’aihue fails simply because his name is so difficult to spell. Does this make me an underachiever? Or does the fact I didn’t feel like looking up if underachiever was supposed to be hypenated make me an underachiever? Hmmm… Damn you, Kila Ka’aihue, and your impossible to spell name and your promising skill set! You got me second guessing my very nature! (Or is it nuture?) I guess things could be worse, I could have to talk about Kila Ka’aihue and Mike Moustakas. Maybe when Moustakas gets the call in 2010 or so, I’ll just refer to them both as the Hawaiian-Greek fusion restaurant, The Spam Kebab, which sounds delicious, right? Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah… Kila Ka’aihue! Let’s look at why you should be familiar with this weirdly, apostrophed name for 2009 fantasy baseball.
Kila Ka’aihue is a Hawaiia’an mash machine, poi! I’d be through the roof for this doode if it wasn’t for the Royals boneheaded trade earlier this offseason for Jacobs, which reminds me– What do you get when you cross a team that insists on cutting its Major League low $20-something million payroll with a team that doesn’t understand it already has potentially four 1st basemen? You get the Marlins dealing Jacobs to the Royals, a team that has Shealy, Ka’aihue, Gload and Butler. Watch closely to see if Ka’aihue lands somewhere else that can make use of a guy who had an OPS of 1.085 last year in the minors and 37 HRs in 401 at-bats. A guy that hit a home run in almost every third game in Triple-A should prolly get a chance somewhere. You would think the peasant Royals could find room, but they need to maintain the lack of integrity in their product — it’s the Royals way! If Ka’aihue is sharing time, he’s nothing but an AL-Only sleeper. If he can find a starting spot, he’s mixed league material.