During the All-Star break last year, Mark Reynolds aka Mini Donkey, Adam Dunn aka Big Donkey, Ian Stewart aka Mini Mini Donkey and Pedro Alvarez aka El Burro got together to discuss the future of the Donkeys with Adam Dunn retiring.  The conference took place at a Chicago-area Sheraton.  Outside the Sheraton conference room, a sign read, “Dunn Done and Done?”  Caterers vied hard to cater the event.  Carpenters stood by in case Dunn sat down wrong on a chair.  First to speak was Mini Donkey.  He assured Dunn, the Donkeys could continue, saying, “All brays to you, but is this the end? Nay!  There would still be all-or-nothing types for years to come.”  Alvarez said something, but the translator was a no-show.  Ian Stewart placed a cinnamon sugar donut on a pen and took practice swings, eliciting a stink-eye from Dunn.  After a good hour of debate, Dunn wasn’t sure; his concern about their future worried him, so, naturally, he turned on the Futures Game.  At that point, a Lithuanian maid walked into the conference room with a sign written in Batman-style font.  The sign read:  WHAMP!  At six-foot, five inches, Joey Gallo devastates pitches.  Last year, he hit 21 homers in only 68 games in Double-A.  Before that, he hit 21 homers in only 58 games in High-A.  Last year, 38 homers in 106 games.  And he can’t hit above .240 in the minors.  Adam Dunn stood up and exclaimed, “Four lady readers and gentlemen, we got ourselves a new Donkey — Big Donkey Jr.!  And Ian Stewart please stop wasting donuts.” Anyway, what can we expect of Joey Gallo for 2015 fantasy baseball?

I get the sneaking suspicion that Gallo is going to be The Return of the Sucky Average Lagoon Monster, who was played briefly last year in an off-Broadway revival by Chris Carter.  In Double-A last year, Gallo had a 39.5% strikeout rate.  That’s absurd.  That’s the same rate historians have said Babe Ruth had after an all-night bender with Fatty Arbuckle when Ruth showed up and accidentally went up to bat still wearing his sleep mask.  Fun fact!  Sleep masks for the wealthy used to be made from raw hamburger patties.  So, with Gallo wearing a raw hamburger on his eyes, is there any chance here of him hitting above .200?  Not if he can’t tame his strikeouts.  Right now, he’d probably hit .150 in the majors.  Jot noking, Spooner.  Luckily, for the sake of all that is holy, I don’t think he’s going to break camp with the club and will have time to fix his swing tendencies.  His power is completely for real, and I think he could hit 30 homers in the major leagues next year.  Like the bowling alley that doesn’t cater to dwarfs, no small feat there.  He’s only going to be 21 years old, so 30 homers from a guy that young is crazy.  That kind of power doesn’t come along often.  Of course, it won’t happen due to his Ks keeping him in the minors.  For 2015, I’ll give him the projections of 27/9/36/.210/2 in 150 ABs.  In 2016, he could start to put together a better average, but right now, he’s too raw power and nothing else.  I wouldn’t be surprised at all though, if at some point in the next few years, we get a 2009 Mark Reynolds-type year, think 40+ HRs, 15 steals and a .250-ish average.  For now Big Donkey Jr. is merely a flyer in AL-Only leagues and keepers-slash-dynasties.  So, go ahead and put your raw hamburger patties back on your eyes and hit snooze.

 
  1. Big Money Matt says:
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    LL Donkey needs to start showing up to these things.

      • Todd25 says:
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        @Grey: those racist pigs, errr donkeys!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Damn em!

  2. de nachos says:
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    Donkey is probably the safest animal-name to bestow upon Joey Gallo since his surname in Spanish means rooster and it might be awkward to have to write about Big C*%# Jr. Although, google hits…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @de nachos: You’re saying they were Ernest and Julio Cock?

      • de nachos says:
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        @Grey: those rooster suckers…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha… That reminds me of me trying to say peanuts in Spanish while I was in Colombia… Cacapeanuts?

          • de nachos says:
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            @Grey: HA why does caca keep coming up after this trip of yours.

            Living in Mexico, an American buddy got terribly sick. And we were all like a House episode trying to figure out how because everyone was so careful with the water. No ice in drinks, no salads…turns out the genius was brushing his teeth in the shower.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              My stomach is doing whirlybirds for the past 5 days… I brushed my teeth, but I was fine there… I wonder if it’s the chlorine in the US water that I’m no longer used to… Where did you live in Mexico?

              • de nachos says:
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                @Grey: Guadalajara. I picked it because of the line in the Steely Dan song. As good a reason as any.

                You have chlorine in your water? Are LA folk filling their pools right from the tap?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Ha! I thought there was chlorine in water, maybe there’s not… But my shizz is feeling funky… You still live in Baja?

                  • de nachos says:
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                    @Grey: been back east coast for 10+ years now. You’re right about the chlorine in tap water, of course. Gotta purge out that Giardia somehow. And from calwater.com “To reduce any chlorine taste or smell, try refrigerating your water before drinking.” That’s one useful, albeit arguably unhealthy, suggestion.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Haha… Better than: If you don’t like how something tastes and/or smells, hold you nose while ingesting…

                  • Crapshoot Kershaw says:
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                    @Grey: there’s definitely chlorine in U.S. water. you can smell it for shit’s sake.

  3. claw dog says:
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    Hey grey hows it goin.

    Need a little help deciding my 8th keeper here. 12 team 5×5 H2H

    Keeping E5, Donaldson, Alex Gordon, Carlos Gonzalez, Machado, Soler, Scherzer for sure.

    Deciding between Hosmer, Fister, and Kipnis as my 8th. Fister I’m unsure of just cuz he gets barely any Ks. I know kipnis was a top tier 2B like 2 years ago and hosmer is bound to break out at some point.

    Thanks for the help Grey!

  4. Birdmann says:
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    I thought Carter was the Urban Donkey.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: hey thats mine. I wrote that in a creeper post. I also penned el burelse in the same post…cust kayin’

        • J-FOH says:
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          @J-FOH: dah. Stupid auto correct

          *el burro

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          What’s yours? Urban Donkey? I might have to crib it… (If I remember)…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: I also been calling Pedro el burro for some time

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Yeah, that’s been around the block, it might’ve been yours at first… I’ll add a mental footnote…

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: burro might have been. I have forgotten more than I can remember these days

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  El Burro feels older than that Urban Donkey post…

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: all that matters is he is el burro. Now what do we call chris davis as he becomes the new donkey. C-Donkey-Hit

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Bill James’s Donkey

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: the Donkey BJ?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ha… Yeah, BJ’s Donkey… Like the wholesale club…

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: oh wait thats what he does. BJ Donkey

  5. Todd25 says:
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    If a Donkey improves his K-rate does he become a Mule?

    • Militant Vegans says:
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      @Todd25: Maybe. If he doesn’t, does he go the glue factory?

      • Todd25 says:
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        @Grey: ha, i suppose a mule is a “workhorse” of sorts slash work[half]horse… and then there’s El Caballo.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Carlos Lee seems like the type to make a comeback any day now…

          • Todd25 says:
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            @Grey: ya know, just out of curiousity I glanced over to his career page… he is the poster-horse illustration of a power hitter career arc (sans roids).

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              He had a good 7 year stretch where he was one of the top outfielders, never really reached a peak of being the top…

              • SteveNZ says:
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                @Grey: Ah yes. Those 30/100/.300 guys. Whatever happened to them? They were awesome.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  My kingdom for a Carlos Lee-type… If he were around now, he’d probably be a top three rounder…

                  • Todd25 says:
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                    @Grey: how crazy is that? he used to be like a 3rd-4th rounder.

                    *reviews league history*
                    2007 – ah those were the days…
                    first 3 picks were Hanley Ramirez, Ryan Howard, Carlos Lee… (but lost in the final.)

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      That’s a solid top 3 too… You should’ve went with Magglio Ordonez!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Todd25: he becomes a every day player

      • Todd25 says:
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        @J-FOH: haha, well played.

  6. Whatever says:
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    Grey or Mike:

    In a Mixed 10 team keeper with OBP and 1 catcher would you keep a 21 dollar Posey versus a 7 dollar yelich?

    Thanks,

    Whatever

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d keep Posey

      • Whatever says:
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        @Grey:

        Thanks, Grey.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  7. Nickname for Gallo says:
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    GREY! com’on, you have to call him Lil’ Sebastien!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… That’s his street name…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: thats a parks and rec reference

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, I Googled it

  8. Chris says:
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    Curious, since we all love the new thing (fantasy players and their prospects are worse than a desperate housewife staring at the 21 year old lacrosse player mowing their lawn.)

    Should we expect this guy to outperform Jon Singleton over the next 4 years? Something tells me…we shouldn’t…because…history/reality/strikeouts/dispensaries make me think otherwise.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Gallo’s still very young, if he can just rain in his Ks a bit, he should outperform Singleton… But Singleton’s not that old either, so he can get better… It could be close, I’d give the edge to Gallo in 4 years…

  9. Brandon

    Brandon says:
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    Stanton 13 yrs, 325 million. Daaaamn

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Insane

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: and now he wont be in LA to stalk so close to home. Tragedy for you

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, I wonder if that was a selling point for him… Sad emoticon…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: I think he is honored to be stalked by one with so many disciples.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              He’s my boo

  10. Jimmy says:
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    Don’t you mean Jerry “Callow”?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Don’t I mean him?

  11. Hondo says:
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    I’ve got first dibs on “Jose Canseco’s Finger” as a team name.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… He always was a bit of a hot dog…

    • Lville Jim says:
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      @Hondo: Too bad he didn’t shoot his cock off, now that would have been a funnier story when it fell off.

  12. a guy that made a guy his name a guy that made his name says:
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    yo who are among the first tier of pitchers you’d consider drafting?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’ll go over it when I get to rankings…

  13. J-FOH says:
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    Cubs get La Stella, there has to be a big pitching trade going down at some point

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Bit of an odd move for the Cubs…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: I looked deeper into it and they are getting a lot of international signing dollars in the deal. He’ll end up being a bench player and a possible chip in another deal…IMHO

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, hopefully… Don’t want him messing with Baez and Arismendy…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: someone has got to be getting moved

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Yeah, that’s what Mike just said in his post, and it makes sense…

  14. goodfold2 says:
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    anybody else notice that the director from True Detective is doing the IT remake due out sometime 2015, and this time it won’t be only 3 hours, cutting out a lot of the book. it’ll be 2 3 hour parts, since if Peter Jackson has done one thing for the world (other than make the bloodiest, and one of the best zombie movies ever of course), it’s show production companies that breaking books into multi-part movie installments (each of them separately being at least 3 hours ) can make money.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Never saw the original, but I’m interested now…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: original’s pretty good, but it left out a lot of the book (not hard to do when the book is 1090 pages)

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @goodfold2: not only that, but this is the kind of horror book that really would be helped from modern technology.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Not usually a fan of horror though

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Wow, take me two years to read that…

          • goodfold2 says:
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            @Grey: stephen king stuff reads very very fast.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I tried to read Tommyknockers, never made it through…

              • goodfold2 says:
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                @Grey: i’ve read a lot of them, but not that one. almost all the one’s i’ve read came when i was young. Read The Stand like a year ago (if that’s not the largest one i’d be surprised); the uncut version.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Only book I’ve read of his is On Writing, which is awesome

                  • goodfold2 says:
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                    @Grey: i forgot about that one, i heard it was good from others as well.

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