Oakland rookie third baseman Ryon Healy continued to rake Friday night as he collected two hits and scored a run to extend his hitting streak to seven, with six multi-hit games in that span. Sometimes I get fantasy advice from good friend of mine and rapper 50 Cent, who is a much better fantasy baseballer than he is a real baseballer. In between freestyle seshs, Fitty says to me, “Yo D (he calls me D), you gotta get on Ryon Healy, if you been Patiently Waiting for a decent corner, dude is a P.I.M.P., get rich and buy Ryon, do-you-know-what-I-am-saying?” OK, thanks, Fitty. Not a bad headline either…also, funny, how you plugged a bunch of your songs there, but I guess these be tough times. He’s right though. Healy has been a certified G-Unit soldier in the month of September, batting .400, with 9 runs, 4 homers, 5 doubles and 12 RBI. If that ain’t a wanksta, I don’t know what is. Honestly, I really don’t. Is it bad or good? Regardless, in the past week the rookie has been very, very good. He’s hitting .517 with 8 runs, 3 homers and 9 RBI. That’s in seven days, people! How many more fantasy days left? Can’t be much more than seven, so sounds like Ryon Healy could be a nice player to own down the stretch. He was a BUY this week and I picked him up! 50 grabbed him too and he’s available in about 80% of leagues. Hate it or love it, pick him up if you want to win!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Jose Reyes – 1-for-3, HR (7). He was a BUY and Reyes has been a nice surprise with the Mets this year. In general, most players on the Mets have been a nice surprise for the Mets this year. Or maybe I just expect everyone who signs with the Mets to play poorly. Jose is slashing .276/.332/.464 with 7 homers and 8 steals in 47 games. You might want to consider drafting him next year, but honestly I’d be surprised if he performs well.
Asdrubal Cabrera – 1-for-2, HR (20). Left with a leg cramp but should be fine for Saturday. You can read more details on his blog. It’s hosted by Asdrupal.
John Lackey – 7.0 IP, 9 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo sat out this one and if I’m John Lackey I’m like, WTF? I’ve been trying to get this tenth win for over a month now and Maddon won’t even play one half of the two best players on the team? You damn right I’m upset!
Evan Longoria – 3-for-4, HR (34), 2 RBI. Oh hey Longo. How many times this season can I say you’re underrated, before I’m saying it too much and you’re not underrated anymore, you’re over-hyped? Evan’s slashing .278/.324/.526 with 93 RBI, and I can only imagine what those stats would look like if he had someone even remotely intimidating hitting in front of or behind him in the line up.
Hanley Ramirez – 2-for-3, HR (26), 2 RBI. David Ortiz is aging quick, the ol’ legs ain’t what they used to be, so HanRam agreed to help him be clutch for the next few weeks. Over the past two weeks, Hanley is hitting .327 with 7 homers, 11 runs, and 18 RBI. Don’t lie, even when you drafted him you didn’t expect him to produce like this. Keep it up, Hanley, and maybe some day you’ll get a racist bobble head night just like Ortiz.
Clay Buchholz – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB,2 K, W. For me, watching Clay Buchholz pitch is more frightening than the Blair Witch movies. Shameless plug for new movie release, or shockingly accurate comparison? Watching Clay on the mound is like getting lost in the woods and freaking out over a bunch of stick sculptures.
Andrew Bailey – 0.1 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER. The classic rope-a-dope. Just when you think it’s safe to own an Angels closer…WHAM! You hate yourself again.
Justin Upton – 2-for-3, 2 HR (24), 4 RBI. And all of a sudden Justin Upside is slashing .238/.299/.431 with 24 homers and 74 RBI. If you think that you can’t make up for all the first half pain you caused by carrying me through the playoffs, you’re wrong. You can totally do that, and I will totally forget how bad you sucked in April and May.
Mike Napoli– 3-for-4, HR (34), 4 RBI. Naps is slashing .251/.344/.496 with 34 homers and 98 RBI, including five dingers in the past two weeks. When people say the Injians have no offense you can look at them and say, Mike F’N Napoli. And they will laugh, and you will laugh, and good times will be had by all.
Corey Kluber – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W. Hmm. Corey’s got a 3.12 ERA, 1.04 WHIP and 215/54 K/BB rate. So this is what the best pitcher in the American League looks like? Meh. I was expecting better.
Michael Fulmer – 5.0 IP, 7 hits, 6 ER, 3 BB, 3 K. So this is what the best rookie in the American League looks like? Meh. I was expecting better.
Trea Turner – 4-for-5, HR (9), 2 SB (26). Now THIS is what a rookie of the year looks like! If you think that’s good, you should see Trea Turner Overdrive. You ain’t seen nothing yet! Turner is hitting .365 in the past two weeks with 11 runs, 4 homers, 10 RBI and 8 steals. He is winning your fantasy league for you right now.
Max Scherzer – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 17th W. Holds a 2.78 ERA and 259/50 K/BB rate. Mad Max did his best Imperator Furiosa (because she’s the real hero anyway, #subliminalfeminism #votehillary! ) impression and got his team the dubya. Witness me!
Khris Davis – 1-for-3, HR (38), 2 RBI. .250/.304/.521 with 38 homers and 96 RBI. THE POWER OF KHRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF KHRIS COMPELS ME!
Carlos Gomez – 1-for-4, HR (10), 2 RBI. His fifth homer with the Rangers, but he’s still hitting .212. Carlos should take a hint from another Gomez, and try to Kill Em With Kindness, because whatever he’s doing right now isn’t really working. You can kill me with kindness any time, Selena. I just want to look good for you.
Chris Sale – 9.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, BB, 10 K, W. His sixth complete game. Sale lowered his ERA to 3.03 and has a 215/44 K/BB rate. I could definitely see Sale finishing strong and robbing Rick Porcello of the AL Cy Young award. But what do I know? I picked Chris Archer to win.
Andrew McCutchen -2-for-4, run, RBI. WELL look who finally decided to show up.
Gregory Polanco – 2-for-5, HR (22), 2 RBI. So Gregor is slashing.265/.330/.486 with 22 homers, 85 RBI and 13 steals, and yes, I reached for him a bit on draft day but the true moral of this story is the Pirates sucked this year.
Dee Gordon – 3-for-6, run, 2 SB (22). Just keep bringing up his suspension and the fact that he slumped for the first month of his return. It only makes him stronger. That and PEDs for elevated testosterone.
Wil Myers – 2-for-5, HR (25), 2 RBI. Wil “I Passed the Other L to the Player on My Left” Myers has been a shadow of what he was in the first half, but that’s mostly because Overwatch debuted season 2 competitive play and Wil and I have to focus on what’s really important right now, trolling n00bs.
D.J. LeMahieu – 3-for-5, run, 3 RBI, SB (11). The three hits tied him withDaniel Murphy for the lead for the NL Batting Title. Can you believe it, folks! This one could be down to the wire, I can barely contain my excitem…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Brandon Maurer – 0.2 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER. After converting four straight save chances, Brandon gave up three runs in the bottom of the ninth to blow his sixth save of the year. Well, I guess he wouldn’t be a proper SAGNOF if he didn’t completely disappoint you and ruin your chances at fantasy glory when you needed him to step up most.
Collin McHugh – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W. McHugh has been fairly solid for a pitcher you can’t trust not to blow up week to week. That’s sort of Houston’s thing this year. He gets a cushy matchup in Oakland next week and I could see picking him up if no one else was looking.
Buster Posey – 3-for-4, HR (13), 4 RBI. It’s a good thing you drafted your catcher in the fourth round, it’s really paying off come playoff time. LOL, but who are we kidding, you didn’t make the playoffs.
Billy Butler – 1-for-1, pinch-hit 2-run HR (5). Remember that power stroke we all thought Butler lost and assumed he just ate it? Billy now has four RBI in two games with his new team. Honestly, I couldn’t be happier that Butler is a Yankee. Pick him up if you hate yourself, and can manage to actually lift that much weight.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
