I’m taking my chips and going home from the DFS season. What a ride it’s been making some good calls, some bad calls and sometimes the occasional really confusing link. This will be it for me in the land of milk and money. All $4.75 of my winnings to show for the hours on end I have spent looking at this maddening game called daily fantasy. Fortunately for me I got a break from the guys at DraftKings and they made Andrew Cashner ($6,600) way Way WAY too cheap today and I’m going to bounce on this like a kid in an inflatable castle. Speaking of inflatable things I saw this the other day. That is just all kinds of wrong. Cashner stepped up to his old self in his last outing by going 6, striking out 8 and walking zero…against the Dodgers. Now I get that the Dodgers have been all kinds of hot garbage lately but they still have bats that can hurt you bad. Today he gets a team of WTF in the Diamondbacks and I don’t see Cash letting them small ball him into a blow-up. Play this one with complete faith that I won’t screw you over as I’m out the door. He’s a solid guy at home against a team with nothing to fear. Trust me!
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Jason Castro, C: $3,700 – I’m double dipping for Cason Jastro, that’s his travel name when he goes to Cuba. Last time out for me he hit a grand slam and I feel responsible for that one. He had been hitting like a turd and was due after two days off and getting a favorable match-up. I lit a prayer candle and ordered a cuban sandwich for dinner then BAM! Grand Slam! Today he has the best numbers on his team against Weaver and I just made reservations here.
Edwin Encarnacion, 1B: $4,500 – I don’t care who is on the mound, at this price I’m buying on the parrot wearing long dong silver. Archer got blown up the last time out and I will always take a value when a two homer day is not a shock but assumed. Hey wait, who assumes that? I love the parrot thing, they even have a T-Shirt that I want RIGHT NOW!
Arismendy Alcantara, 2B: $4,100 – I call him little spider and he has been hotter than me at a rave on the equator. Hey, why haven’t they done that event yet? Somebody make a call. I don’t care who is pitching and I am not even going to look (it’s Hendricks) but when you are a hot schmotato you are always welcome in my line-up.
Mookie Betts, SS/OF: $3,600 – I’m on a hot schotato kick today and I just don’t care. I have done all the numbers approach and this is the best way to go about it. Find the hot hand and lay down your dollars as long as its affordable and at this price he is. Like Wesley Snipes says, “Always Bet on Betts”
Jay Bruce, OF: $3,700 – For my last call of the season I will put up the man that has singlehandedly ruined my season. At least Prince Fielder did us the honor of calling it a year early enough for us to find someone else. Besides the two week vacation he took in May, he has been the equivalent of a Corvair in hindsight, in a vacuum and living in a van down by the river! I’m playing with Ralph today for my last post of the year day and will play Bruce. He’s on the road against a right hander which are his best numbers for making contact. This just in, tonight he hit a dong with 3 people on base, that’s a damn grand salami on rye. By some weird idea of probability clarity, I’m going to say he gets a hit or two and maybe one of those goes a long way or hits a few people home. That’s lover trucker it!
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
Everything looks good except for Miami which has a roof. There are scattered thunderstorms in the forecast for [email protected] The wind if flying out in Kansas City while it’s flying in against lefties in MIN.
Doing Lines In Vegas
The high game is the one that might have some rain issues. At 9 1/2, the [email protected] game has the chance to be a slug fest if they play. I like the 8 1/2 line for [email protected] and [email protected] for stacking. The 8 1/2 for Anaheim at Houston is too high. It feels more natural to call them Anaheim. It was fun doing DFS with you all this year but it’s all over.