Steven Wright has been a revelation this year, and he’s such a feel good story. Everyone has fooled around with a knuckleball in their backyard, and lemme tell ya, mine’s pretty good! I may even look more athletic than Steven Wright… However, Knuckle Papi is the guy in The Show, and I’m the guy writing about him. Ah well, someone has to do both. Just pick him in your lineup today, he’s facing the Twins… Need I say more?

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Steven Wright, SP: $9,300 – If you haven’t learned to read my highly entertaining intros, you probably aren’t on the right website, because every Razzball intro is riveting.

Sonny Gray, SP: $6,100 – Allow me to point out that it’s always Sonny in Oakland when the Tampa Bay Rays come to town.

Cameron Rupp, C: $3,800 – It’s the large, intimidating Cameron Rupp against the much less intimidating Tom Koehler; you know what to do.

David Ortiz, 1B: $5,600 –Don’t tell Big Papi that I named Steven Wright Knuckle Papi… Actually, he’d probably just chuckle.

Jace Peterson, 2B: $4,100 – The only time to ever pick a Brave is in Coors Field.

Chase D’Arnaud, 3B: $3,600 – Go one line above.

Xander Bogaerts, SS $4,300 – We might as well pick the guy hitting in front of Papi too… Big Papi, that is… Although I’d love it if John Farrell put Steven Wright in the four-hole one game.

Eddie Rosario, OF: $3,400 – This guy hit 15 triples last year, and as long as we let Knuckle Papi know that we need him to give up a few more, I’m sure he would be accommodating.

Odubel Herrera, OF: $4,900 – Reminder: Tom Koehler is pitching for Miami in this one.

Christian Yelich, OF: $4,800 – He hit one about 450 off of Velasquez the other night, and Jared Eickhoff is not Vincent Velasquez. Roll Yelich!

I’m Only Happy When it Rains

As those penguins in those Madagascar movies used to say, “All clear boys, all clear!”

Doing Lines in Vegas

Surprise, surprise… The game in Coors has a 12 over/under. I shouldn’t have to tell you to go Coors when in doubt. PS: I didn’t change this line from pre-ASG. Those bookies are boring.

That’s all for today… I advise that the Knuckle Papi movement needs to come into fuller focus, so both candidates should from here on out be sponsored by Knuckle Papi, the equal opportunity sponsor who hopes that both candidates are just floating on by.