As a Giants fan, it pains me to say this, but you really should get Charlie Morton in your lineups today. Come for that great sub-3 ERA, but stay for the 159 Ks in 124 innings. Add in the fact that he takes the mound in the Bay against a Giants team that doesn’t score a ton of runs and is still missing Brandon Belt. Buster Posey has also been plagued by injuries this season, so I wouldn’t be shocked if he gets a rest. Mix all that together and we’re looking at great things from Morton. I think we should expect a steak dinner.
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Noah Syndergaard, SP: Is he the god of hammers? Nope, he’s the god of thunder. Looks like he’ll bring the thunder tonight. Or maybe he’ll bring the hammer. Doesn’t really matter; he’s got what you need. He might just bring the hammer.
Nick Tropeano, SP: Let’s take it to the Trop. He gets to take on the Tigers. Don’t be scared of them. Don’t you ever be scared of them. That means you should fire up Trop.
Luke Weaver, SP: Oh, what a tangled web we weave: this one has all the makings of a major blow-up, but it’s against the Marlins and Streamonator is a fan. The truth is that Weaver has been an inconsistent mess this season. But for our needs, we’re only looking for one good game, and we have a good shot to get that here. Look to him if you decide to grab your bats early.
Alex Bregman, IF: What else can I say? He’s been the man lately. And by the man I mean I woke up in Chris Brown’s body and Chris Brown is the man. Basically you should take Bregman as your 2nd. And then let him lead you to victory.
Rougned Odor, IF: Recently the odor hasn’t been foul; it’s been downright delicious, as he’s mashing. Over the past month, he’s launched 9 bombs and has lowered his strikeouts to an acceptable rate. Wade LeBlanc has pitched well for the Mariners, but he’s not the dominant ace type you should be scared of.
Didi Gregorius, IF: The Gregorius D.I.D.I. He’s got a good match-up here against Dylan Covey and the White Sox. That power potential is so sweet and you can’t discount the Yankees’ lineup, which is still powerful even without Judge and Sanchez. Here’s to him dropping bombs; he may be heating up.
Ryon Healy, IF: Hitterton says he’s a go. That works for me. It should work for you, too. We’re not looking at a league winner here, but he certainly shouldn’t hurt you. That means he is a great late-round pick when you’re looking to fill out your roster.
Starling Marte, OF: According to Hittertron, Marte should be your star of the day. Must be something to do with stepping to the plate in Coors. Might also have to do with his 7 jacks and matching steals over the past month. Whatever the reason, you would do well to get Marte in your lineup.
Mitch Haniger, OF: Yes, he had a cold July, but he also had an incredibly hot April, and the early returns in August are encouraging. Don’t be scared of Martin Perez; our main man Mitch sure isn’t.
Michael Conforto, OF: This one is my call. Conforto has been my guy all season and he’s finally started to come around. I think that means he’s finally healthy. A healthy Conforto is great; he could single-handedly win the day.
Carlos Gonzalez, OF: Basically what you need to know is: Coors. No, not the beer. Well, also the beer; nothing like a nice Banquet on a hot day. But I digress…Car-Go is good to go because Joe Musgrove is solid but unspectacular. So fire him up and enjoy the show.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
There might be thunder in Cleveland, Chicago and Colorado, but I say things will be fine and you should fire them all up. Rock and roll.
Doing Lines In Vegas
Surprise, surprise: the highest-scoring game is projected to be in Colorado. That Coors must be magic. Take advantage. And then also crack a Coors…for luck. Yep, that’ll work.
