Greetings! What a day. What a muph*ckin day! LeBron James has officially ascended into Godhood as we are witnessing a beast of the likes I haven’t seen since Rocky Balboa got absolutely shredded and destroyed by the supposedly indestructible Ivan Drago. I’ve been on my knees more often than an alter boy as of late, giving all that I have to the city of Cleveland, giving all that I possess in rooting on The King, Machine Gun Delly, and the rest of these scrubs. IF they pull this off, it is without question, the largest finals upset in NBA history. Well, at least since I was birthed by the Queen of the Elder Gods on the rim of Mt. Vesuvius… Oh… this is a baseball post… My apologies, as I know most of you could care less about the NBA finals, but seriously this is incredible television and I hope you get involved. Let’s talk a little baseball though, shall we, my goodmen (and women)?

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

 

Players who Delighted: 

Giancarlo Stanton  The Yardfather cometh! Giancarlo “Reaver of souls” Stanton is  claiming the scalp of seemingly every pitcher he’s faced as of late, blasting 8 gargantuan moon shots in his last 10 games. Brohemoth should have starred in the new Terminator flick– maybe then I would have actually gone and seen it. The batting average is up to .245 and I have no doubt that it will continue to rise like my yardstick when I witness Stanton at the plate. Pay homage.

stantondongsize2

Masahiro Tanaka – Tanaka flocka flame has been gettin jiggy wit it ever since he returned from his DL sting, and I for one, am enthralled. The sexy Japanese import has now dropped a gem on em in back-to-back games, going 14 innings, with only 2 earned, and 15 ks. Is Tanaka back? Yea, I’m thinkin he’s back, as Tanaka just went full John Wick on that ass. Im buying, and you shall do the same, for the Elders may curse you for getting uppity.

Carlos Correa Dadadadadaaaaaaamn, this kid doesn’t play around, does he???! Correa went 2-for-4 last night, with a late inning 2-run bomb. You want to know how I feel about son? I offered Dickerson and Clippard for him like three weeks ago in a NON-keeper league and was turned down instantly. Ballsy, bud, hella ballsy. Kudos to him though, as Correa’s minor league numbers were absolutely magnificent, and now he joins a nice lineup so, sky’s the limit. Hurry up and buy!

Carson Smith  Rodney, it’s time to, say goodbye, say goodbye to Hollywood, as you’re probably being taken out to the woodshed as we speak. Smith has straight up been nastier than Shaq’s drawls after a weekend at Ribfest, and I fully expect him to hold on to the closer role for the remainder of the season, though, they won’t allow him to throw in back-to-back-to-back games. Yes, he gave up a solo job last night. Yes, he gave up a single. Yes, my undercarriage smells like popourri, but that’s all besides the point. This young stallion’s business is pitching, ladies, and business is good!

Chris Heston   I suppose it would be rude of me to leave Heston off this list, after throwing a no-no last night, even though my lack of respect for his game almost caused me to do just that. C-Hes has been erratic thus far, throwing a gem out of nowhere, then following it with a cow pie down our throats. He’s got a solid strike out rate, so I can get behind that, and he should definitely be owned in all 12 team leagues. Just don’t expect anything close to this form of dominance on anything resembling a regular basis.

 

Players who Disgraced: 

Noah Syndergaard It’s gettin, it’s gettin, it’s gettin kinda hectic, as Syndergaard is letting me down harder than every J-Lo movie ever made……WOULD IT KILL YOU TO SHOW THAT FLAWLESS AZZZZZ, Hollywood? Huh?!?! Would it??? With his luscious blonde locks, Syndergaard is said to resemble the mythical Norse Gods, so one would assume his game would be worthy of worship. One would be incorrect. He somehow managed 10 Ks in 4 innings, last week, while getting piped like Marcellus Wallace did in Pulp Fiction, so we know he has some game… Or wait… Does that just mean he’s Mike Fiers? I shall pray that is not the case, as I own him in my head-to-head money league and refuse to drop him, much like I did with Taijuan Walker… and that has paid off… for 2 starts. Syndergaard’s last start was just as strange, as he somehow managed a minuscule 2 Ks through 6 innings while giving up 10 hits, including a solo jack to some bum I don’t even have the heart to mention (that ruined his shot at a quality start). Ughhhhhhh.

Jimmy Paredes – He’s finished. Don’t think about, just stop what you’re doing and drop him, as he fell off like a bad bag of dope. It was fun while it lasted, but you’ve got to be realistic about these things. I’ll cherish the memories.

Mark Trumbo Welcome to the Mariners, bud! Dumbo has settled right in with the rest of the disgraceful Mariners lineup, going an abysmal 2-for-20 in his first 5 games with the club. I would say we’re a cursed organization when it comes to adding big time power hitters, but hey, look at Cruz… Look at Cruz getting carried off the field in stretcher after pulling his groin. The cuuuuuuuuurse!!!! Reminds me of the time when I was in 10th grade, and got carried out of huge city fair after two friends and I killed a 5th of vodka in my car in about 10 minutes. YIKES! Beddict was hella crazy, ya’ll. Good thing I’ve found the Elder Gods to guide me, aye? You could say I was a mix of Lindsay Lohan and Edward Furlong, so yeah, let’s just leave that TB behind, agreed? Good. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, he was a raging alcoholic.

 

Thank you for joining me for another edition of Disgrace/Delight. I will be traveling to Alaska Wednesday for a fishing trip, but assume I’ll have internet service at airports and resort, so that I may reply to all the comments and questions you leave below. They better have that Cavs/Warriors game on Thursday or I might shart a brick. As per usual, it’s been an absolute pleasure. Enjoy the rest of your week, my goodmen and women.

 

 

Want more Beddict? Follow him on Twitter at @Beddict143.

  1. Elliot

    Elliot says:
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    How high up would you rank Icarlos in a dynasty format? How about the Soulreaver?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Elliot: soul reaver is in top 5 for sure overall. I need to see more from Correa but his power speed combo could could be the number one short stop as soon as next year

  2. wjessereid says:
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    Syndergaard is basically a two pitch SP right now, with a fastball that has zero movement.

    I can’t decide wether or not to start him vs ATL this weekend.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @wjessereid: I would but that’s just me. Potential is there for a gem everyone out buts he’s obviously struggling as of now so sitting wouldn’t be bad call. I’d start tho

      • wjessereid says:
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        Would you start him over Lester this weekend?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @wjessereid: negative, Ghost rider

  3. Mike says:
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    Would you trade away Trumbo? Or wait and see if he bounces back.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Mike: depends on what ur getting obviously. I think he turns it on

      • Ron D says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: traded half of his games at Chase for half his games @ Safeco.. I’d sell

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Ron D: sell for what tho? What can he get? I need to know yo

  4. J-FOH says:
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    F**k LeBron, NBA is rigged anyway

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @J-FOH: how dare you speak on ur king this way. You can be beheaded for that

      • J-FOH

        J-FOH says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I’ll give him a head for his crown

  5. Bro Jackson says:
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    I love Stanton, but I am applying for the coaching job in Miami. Over the last 2 weeks, Stanton has 8 homers, 9 runs and 13 rbis…….. that might be the worst line I have ever seen. Can’t anyone hit him in or get on base? 1 run other than his 8…… Barf Sandwich.

    • Bro Jackson says:
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      @Bro Jackson: HOLY!

      Stanton with a homer and 3 rbis! You did it Tehol!

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Bro Jackson: the soul reaver comes

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bro Jackson: yelich and ozuna will pick it up and maybe eventually sit in front of stanton. Hooefully

  6. Zeus says:
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    Great column as always. On the bus down to Dc with a twelve pack of rolling rock. I’ve clearly succeeded in life.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Zeus: zeus, ur a legend. Thank you for your kind words

  7. Teddy Heater says:
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    Tehol,
    Great write up, but no GOT this week? Even after finally getting to see some Effin DRAGON’s!!! My prediction that Tyrion was going to ride the DRAGON’s was partly true. Someone was riding the Dragon alright, but it was Daenery’s (she was looking Haut on Sunday’s episode), maybe it was the dragon necklace thingy, but she was looking fly (throw back Thursday)Speaking of fly, J-Lo used to one of the fly girl dancers on In Living Color I found this little gem on You Tube. She got a solo dance on ILC, Whaaat?? Check out the last two comments, classic. Enjoy your Trip!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odnFMO0pD8s

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @Teddy Heater: please no dragon crap. This was his best post/article thiniemajig in mingis partly because there was none of that stuff.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Wallpaper Paterson: don’t worry buddy. Just one more to go

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Teddy Heater: thank you sir. I’d love to wet my beak in that luscious booty. From fly girl to mogul. What an incredible run. GOT getting crazy. Tyrion has to get on one eventually tho right??? I do those posts every two weeks. So there will be one after finale

  8. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    @Wallpaper Paterson: not sure how “in mingis” got in there

  9. Bobby Nice says:
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    I got Dickerson coming back (2-4 as we speak), who should I drop. L. Martin or C. Colabello?
    My squad: Vogt, Rizzo, Forsythe, W. Flores, C. Santana, A Jones, Springer, Aoki, Yasmanny, Cargo (COL).
    Thanks brah

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bobby Nice:mm Martin has been trash. Bello better for short term at least

  10. Do says:
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    Hahn or Heston

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Do: same kind of player. I want to say Hahn but I’m leaning Heston here

  11. buclover says:
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    10 team, 7×7 (OBP, XBH; QS, K/9)
    I picked up some nice bats while some of my guys were on the DL. Now, I’m thinking why not trade for some starting pitching….heres’ my team:

    C – Vogt
    1B – M. Cabrera, Hosmer
    2B – Dozier
    3B – C. Santana, Duffy
    SS – Desmond, C.Correa
    IF – Moss
    LF – Ozuna
    CF – Puig
    RF – Aoki
    OF – Dickerson
    Util – LeMahieu
    Util – Gardner

    SP – Kluber, Cole, C.Martinez, Arrieta, Rodon
    RP – Storen, Familia, Papelbon, Boxberger, Giles

    I was thinking of trading Santana and Desmond for someone like deGromm or Lynn.
    Am I asking for too much or too little?
    Thanks!!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @buclover: defintelty not asking too much. That’s a big win for him but I’d do for Degrom if u need the pitching

  12. Ante GALIC says:
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    Sky!

    Excellent stuff, man!

    Who do you like ROS?

    a. Melancon

    b. Britton

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Ante GALIC: I prefer Britton but pirates should provide more save opps. Always good to here from u brotha

      • Ante GALIC says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Tehol!!! I called you Sky! I’m a mental midget! Pls accept my apologies!

        Btw, thanks for being magnanimous and giving me advice despite the fact that I called you something other than your name. You are truly a noble prince!

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Ante GALIC: how dare u call yourself a mental midget. You’re a legend

  13. Joeg414 says:
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    Need a replacement for Ryan Zimm. Please pick two : Prado , Alonso , K.Vargas , D.Espinosa , Betts , Smoak.. 6×6 daily roto.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Joeg414: Prado Betts cuuuz

  14. Tehol Beddict says:
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    @wjessereid: negative, Ghost rider

Comments are closed.