I ain’t too proud to beg, sweet darlin’. Please, don’t leave me, girl. (Don’t you go!)

Truth is I could recite just about any Temptations song to you. Growing up with a dad who only listened to Motown and oldies, the moment I started to take interest in ladies I had a song for every occasion. Now, granted, I was about 10 or so when I asked out my first girlfriend, so the stakes weren’t crazy high. But whether a fifth grade swing or a fifteen year old fling, my adolescence knew how to swoon a girl. And I know how to spot a keeper.

Now if I gotta cry to keep you, I don’t mind weepin’ if it’ll keep you by my side.

Will tears flow from my now 30-year old eyes as I’m writing this? Um. No. That’s one thing I’ve matured in since the teenage years (and for the sake of my friends, my family, my wife, my children and my masculinity, thank Heavens). But I’d do just about everything I could short of that to make sure I got this week’s Creeper of the Week onto my roster and, in keeper leagues, locked in for next year. And if you miss out on him, you’ll be bregging to get him from someone else. See what I did there?

• Alex Bregman, SS (17.1%) – So what if the ‘Stros decided not to bring Bregman up to start the second half. They’re just being silly. Just about the only universal commentary from the All-Star Weekend was that Alex Bregman was overwhelmingly ready for the Majors. He raked two extra-base hits in the Futures game, and has his signature already written and waiting on him at 3B in Houston. The beauty of playing the hot corner with the SS eligibility, a la Manny Machado, is that he must have enough pop to play there while being eligible at a weak position. Bergman has the potential to come up and challenge the numbers of any of those top SS listed in the rankings below. And since this is all about finding a player owned in less than 20% of ESPN leagues, welp, now’s your chance. His 17.1% mark will balloon to north of 65% within a week of his call-up. And why all the fuss? The #2 overall pick in 2015 has dominated at the plate by producing 23 HR and 18 SB in his first 600 MiLB ABs across the top four levels. He doesn’t K much, walks about 10% of the time, and currently sports a .388 ISO in 11 AAA games, surpassing his .263 mark in 62 AA games. Sweet mercy, come and come quick, young man. You’re being patiently awaited for on 5 of my teams. Thank you! And for you that pick him up…you’re welcome.

Now enough creepin’…let’s get to the Rankings. BUT WAIT!!!

No, no, no. Haha, I don’t think this song would fit in with culture 50 years later. Actually, I’m quite certain that for anyone under the age of 24 it probably didn’t fit in well in 1965. You really gonna sing a song about wanting to be a weiner? I mean, c’mon…

So, let’s change the name and have a little rhyme time of our own. But instead of getting horribly inappropriate, because when does that ever happen on this site, we’ll just talk about the dingers, not the weiners, of Kevin Kiermaier, not Oscar Mayer. That dude’s a grouch, anywho…

• Kevin Kiermaier, OF (6.4% Owned) – Currently on the DL, Kiermaier’s an interesting case for how to properly and effectively skim the waiver wire for the hidden gems. Before he hit the shelf Kiermaier posted a slash line of .231/18/5/16/6 in 137 ABs. While that won’t blow you away, it’s a pace that was on target to approach an esteemed 25/25 mark. Improving every single major offensive statistic from his 2015 breakout-ish total of .263/62/10/40/18 in 535 ABs, I’m giving Kevin the nod this week, because he’s due to return shortly after the All-Star Break. If he gives you another 250 ABs to finish the season he could be a Top 25-30 OF for the second-half. An improved ISO (.211), increased BB% (8%), and decreased K% (16.1%) were harbingers of his good numbers to start the year. What really excited me for his second-half, though, is his terribly unlucky BABIP (.247). For a guy with 25 SB upside, that’s really low and unlucky. Like, the only thing more unlucky would be if you were caught singing that song posted at the top of this article that’s most certainly stuck in your head now. HA! Gotcha! Now go stick Kiermaier in your DL slots before it’s too late. Here’s to the second-half!

And HERE’S TO THE ALL-STAR BREAK! 1st half is in the books! But enough creepin’…Here are those Top 100 Hitters for Week 15…THE ALL-STAR BREAK!

Now, to be fair, the player profile pictures for Danny Espinosa are dated and not fully current. But I’ll be damned if he doesn’t own the belt for the best profile picture in recent history. Outside of sleepy Adam Jones, you just can’t beat what awaits you when you click on the Creeper of the Week’s profile picture on any single site you choose to play fantasy baseball on. Go ‘head. Pause reading this. I give permission (but come back!!!). Check out Espinosa’s profile. But WAIT! Before you do…when you’re there, go ahead and pick him up, too. Why you ask? Well, I mustache you the question of why he isn’t already on your roster? Have you freaking seen what he’s done lately?!? Let’s highlight this creeper (who in any other context with that facial hair would overwhelmingly be a massive creeper. Cust sayin’)…

Honestly, it’s getting tough pinpointing the Creeper of the Week every seven days at this point of the season. A lot of prospects haven’t received the call to the bigs, and the post-draft sleepers are mostly snatched up as we approach July. But…we gotta just keep swimming, because when a prospect gets the call with a certain batting profile, it leads to some hopeful expectations. Success at AAA through the start of the season with an improved ISO, high walk rate, manageable K% (<15%) and track record of solid BABIP all project well to the major league level. You may be thinking, ‘Oh, great…another column on A.J. Reed!’ Haha, while he fully fits this profile, all four of Ralph, Dan, Grey and I have each highlighted him before (I was just a little early). And now with his call up this past weekend his ownership should likely jump well over 20% by the time you’re reading this. But there’s another who fits the profile. And, like Reed, got the call on Saturday.

• Brandon Nimmo, OF (4.0%) – You can keep your Dory, give me more Nimmo. While the theaters are swelling with hype for Disney/Pixar’s latest masterpiece in the big sea, Finding Dory, it would behoove you to shift your attention to the rookie recently called up in the Big Apple. Go. Quick. Find Brandon Nimmo. Why? With the Mets outfield situation constantly in flux, and Michael Conforto being the most recent casualty now back in the minors (remember when he was ranked in the 60-70 range?!?), Nimmo finds himself looking at considerable at bats and a wonderful shot at sticking with the highest level. His ISO of .180 in AAA is serviceable, especially at 23 years old, and he was the 13th pick in 2001, so the pedigree is there. He slashed .328/.409/.508 through 287 at bats, and if he produces even a measure of that he’ll garner a lot more attention in the coming weeks. My favorite piece of his profile, though, is the BB%. Moving from AA to AAA in 2015 his BB% doubled, as did his ISO. This year it sits at 11.6%, meaning that even without a high BABIP, he can get on base enough to bring some counting stats. He’s still quite raw, but we’ve seen players like him come up with a huge burst, even if they tarry off as the season wears on. In need of a boost? Finding Nimmo may be a blockbuster for your lineup’s lackluster trajectory. Or…he may not make it out of this week. Haha! He’s definitely a name to watch, though. Optimistic projection: .275/30/6/25/10 in 300 ABs. (Waiting for Ralph to obliterate this projection now…)

Enough creepin’…Here are those Top 100 Hitters for Week 13!

Why do I continue to highlight songs from my middle school days? I honestly have no idea. But it works. However, I can’t take the credit for this one. Thank you, creative Royals fan and MLB.com. If only I could pull the freakin gif off of Twitter now. Ugh. Am I a Royals fan? No. Do I #VoteRoyals? No. Do I still get jiggy with it? Um, I’m not sure that I ever did. I don’t know that Will Smith did, either. But in terms of a creeper, it’s a perfect moniker for another MI that’s already given the boot to one established veteran, and is proving that he’s more than worthy of his spot at 2B. Since taking the leadoff slot in the lineup, the Royals are 8-2 in their past 10. Who we talking about?

• Whit Merrifield, 2B (21.2% owned) – He’s jumped up just above the 20% threshold with a 15.2+ added percentage. And smart of you if you already grabbed him. Is he cracking the Top 100 quite yet? No. But just barely. Consider him the honorable mention of the week. In the past 15 days Merrifield is tied with Robinson Cano and Paul Goldschmidt for the most hits in the majors (21), Rougned Odor for the most at bats (63), and is tied for 11th in total bases (33) while slashing .333/10/2/8/1. His BABIP is an unsustainable .400, but through the minors he’s proven he can get on base (~.350 OBP past three years), provide a little pop and swipe some bases (48 SB in last 750 minors ABs). Hitting atop the Royals lineup should give him ample opportunity to rack up runs, and it seems that he’s here to stay after the Royals DFA’d Omar Infante due to Merrifield’s emergence. He may slow down a tick, but while he’s hot I’d grab him, especially if you need AVG, R and SB help. Let’s safely project .275/40/6/30/15 the rest of the way. I can get jiggy with that.

Enough creepin’…Here are those Top 100 Hitters for Week 12!

Listen, I love a good gif. More than most. But if I put the gif of Rhianna singing, nay, dancing in her music video for ‘Work’, not a single person would read this article. No one. Not anyone. Not in the overset of evers would anyone ever continue scrolling down to read about the Creeper of the Week when they could all gaze like a creeper at the ‘work’ of Rhianna rolling her hips in front of Drake. It’s the epitome of mesmerized. So, for the sake of errbody, I’ll refrain, mostly likely cause you to just go google the music video on Youtube, and carry on with my main point for the article.

Jayson Werth, Werth, Werth, Werth, Werth, Werth! He say I pick him up, up, up, up, up, up! Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah. (And then she keeps making consonant sounds. That’s music? I digress. Just watch the video. Googly eyes await.)

• Jayson Werth, OF (16.1%) – As professional a power hitting left fielder with solid average that you’ll find, injuries have been the primary concern with Werth. From his days in Philly to the past few in Washington, not only has Jayson flashed the greatest baseball caveman look since Johnny Damon’s Boston days, he’s also provided some serious stats. Sure, he’s aging, and has been on the shelf a bit the past two seasons (this one included), but despite the average he has a .230/81/22/75/1 line in his past 599 ABs. He’ll get the counting stats in a great lineup hitting ahead of arguable NL MVP candidate Daniel Murphy and reigning MVP $500M man Bryce Harper. His legs aren’t what they used to be, and that may be affecting his BABIP, but it’s still sure to rise. Currently it sits at .270, but his career number is .325. Look for the average to rise as long as he stays healthy, and the counting stats to continue pouring in. His past 14 days? .293/8/4/13/0. At 16% owned that’s more than valuable, and enough to just creep into the Top 100!

Enough creepin’…Here are those Top 100 Hitters for Week 11!

After a long wait we finally get the grand entrance! Makes ya feel good, right? Especially if you had the patience to wait for it. Aaah, patience. It’s one of those things you have to learn. No one has it by default (haha, come hang with my three kids 3 and under if you don’t believe me), and it’s something you seemingly always have to ‘work’ to find. It’s a fruit of the Spirit. It’s also the fruit of an experienced fantasy baseball player.

Finding the right prospects ahead of the curve is a key element to the equation of winning in fantasy. Can you be the first to jump the gun and get the guy still in the minors that will come onto the scene and take you over the top? While they can backfire (ahem, my bad? Where you at A.J. Reed?!?), when they hit they can be the  to winning your league.

Think Ryan Braun in 2007 (.324/91/34/97/15). As a damn rookie in 114 games! Now, that was a different era, and Braun has different juices flowing through his veins now, but he wasn’t the only one to make an immediate impact:

• Melvin Upton Jr. in 2007 (.300/86/24/82/22 in 126 games – essentially his peak form)
• Max Scherzer in 2008 (3.05 ERA, 10.61 K/9 in 56 IP)
• Kyle Schwarber in 2015 (.246/52/16/43/3 in 273 AB)

Those are a few examples, and if you snagged those guys your team became significantly better after the draft. I’m not including the likes of Bryce Harper (2012) or Kris Bryant (2015) here, because they were almost universally drafted in their respective years, and, similarly, you should know by the title I’m not talking about the kid who made a great splash last year for the Dodgers, Corey Seager (.337/17/4/17/2 in 113 AB last season), as he was drafted this year. No, we’re truly looking for the player we’ve been waiting on, the player we’ve been patient with, but was largely undrafted. This week it’s a certain 2B we’ve been very patient for, and he’s finally here!!! Don’t look now, but he’s already creeping…

• Jurickson Profar, 2B (13.3%) – Oh, not the name you expected? Who’d you think I was highlighting? Trea Turner? C’mon now…I’ll take the better prospect. “(Gasp!) Did he really just say that?” Yessir. And I’ve been patiently waiting to say it for three years now since I drafted him in an AL-Only. Sure, Turner arrived in the bigs over the weekend, and is already up to 30%+ owned, but it won’t last long (called up due to paternity leave for Ryan Zimmerman), and I believe his perceived value is tied more to the infield situation in Washington than his own offensive prowess (he’s a faster Zack Cozart…). On the flip side, Profar was the #1 prospect in baseball three years ago, flashed incredible pop at a young age prior to his injury (only 23 yo now), and possesses enough wheels to get 15-20 SB in a full season. The playing time is the obvious concern here with Rougned Odor back from suspension, the Rangers committed to Elvin Andrus at SS, and the money designating Fielder as their DH, albeit undeservingly. However, Profar has hit safely in every game since his call up (7 straight through Saturday) with multiple hits in 5 of those games. Already blasting 2 HR with 9 runs, Profar is proving he’s both healthy and capable in his call-up. Even with Odor back, the Rangers should use Profar to spell Beltre, potentially fill in at 1B and DH (like he did Saturday) and get some OF reps with all their injuries. If he continues capitalizing on the opportunity, he won’t stay unowned for long as, if nothing else, he’s an incredible MI option.

Enough creepin’…Here are your Top 100 Hitters for Week 10!