No, no, no. Haha, I don’t think this song would fit in with culture 50 years later. Actually, I’m quite certain that for anyone under the age of 24 it probably didn’t fit in well in 1965. You really gonna sing a song about wanting to be a weiner? I mean, c’mon…

So, let’s change the name and have a little rhyme time of our own. But instead of getting horribly inappropriate, because when does that ever happen on this site, we’ll just talk about the dingers, not the weiners, of Kevin Kiermaier, not Oscar Mayer. That dude’s a grouch, anywho…

  • Kevin Kiermaier, OF (6.4% Owned) – Currently on the DL, Kiermaier’s an interesting case for how to properly and effectively skim the waiver wire for the hidden gems. Before he hit the shelf Kiermaier posted a slash line of .231/18/5/16/6 in 137 ABs. While that won’t blow you away, it’s a pace that was on target to approach an esteemed 25/25 mark. Improving every single major offensive statistic from his 2015 breakout-ish total of .263/62/10/40/18 in 535 ABs, I’m giving Kevin the nod this week, because he’s due to return shortly after the All-Star Break. If he gives you another 250 ABs to finish the season he could be a Top 25-30 OF for the second-half. An improved ISO (.211), increased BB% (8%), and decreased K% (16.1%) were harbingers of his good numbers to start the year. What really excited me for his second-half, though, is his terribly unlucky BABIP (.247). For a guy with 25 SB upside, that’s really low and unlucky. Like, the only thing more unlucky would be if you were caught singing that song posted at the top of this article that’s most certainly stuck in your head now. HA! Gotcha! Now go stick Kiermaier in your DL slots before it’s too late. Here’s to the second-half!

And HERE’S TO THE ALL-STAR BREAK! 1st half is in the books! But enough creepin’…Here are those Top 100 Hitters for Week 15…THE ALL-STAR BREAK!

RED = Falling
GREEN = Rising
BLUE = New to the 100

Rank Name Pos Team
1 Jose Altuve 2B HOU
2 Mike Trout OF LAA
3 Manny Machado 3B/SS BAL
4 Nolan Arenado 3B COL
5 Paul Goldschmidt 1B ARI
6 Mookie Betts OF BOS
7 David Ortiz DH BOS
8 Robinson Cano 2B SEA
9 Josh Donaldson 3B TOR
10 Yoenis Cespedes OF NYM
11 Anthony Rizzo 1B CHC
12 Kris Bryant 3B/OF CHC
13 Edwin Encarnacion 1B TOR
14 Ian Desmond SS/OF TEX
15 George Springer OF HOU
16 Ian Kinsler 2B DET
17 Xander Bogaerts SS BOS
18 Nelson Cruz OF SEA
19 Charlie Blackmon OF COL
20 Carlos Gonzalez OF COL
21 Starling Marte OF PIT
22 Daniel Murphy 2B/3B WAS
23 Bryce Harper OF WAS
24 Eric Hosmer 1B KC
25 Carlos Correa SS HOU
26 Corey Seager SS LAD
27 Matt Carpenter 3B STL
28 Chris Davis 1B/OF BAL
29 Mark Trumbo OF BAL
30 Miguel Cabrera 1B DET
31 Marcell Ozuna OF MIA
32 Kyle Seager 3B SEA
33 Giancarlo Stanton OF MIA
34 Francisco Lindor SS CLE
35 Gregory Polanco OF PIT
36 Wil Myers 1B/OF SD
37 Joey Votto 1B CIN
38 Trevor Story SS COL
39 Adam Jones OF BAL
40 Jackie Bradley Jr. OF BOS
41 Ryan Braun OF MIL
42 Jonathan Villar SS MIL
43 Jay Bruce OF CIN
44 Victor Martinez DH DET
45 Jose Abreu 1B CWS
46 Jason Kipnis 2B CLE
47 Ben Zobrist 2B/OF CHC
48 Adam Duvall OF CIN
49 Freddie Freeman 1B ATL
50 Evan Longoria 3B TB
51 Carlos Beltran OF NYY
52 Dustin Pedroia 2B BOS
53 Brandon Belt 1B SF
54 Andrew McCutchen OF PIT
55 Christian Yelich OF MIA
56 Matt Kemp OF SD
57 Adrian Beltre 3B TEX
58 Rougned Odor 2B TEX
59 Brian Dozier 2B MIN
60 Melvin Upton, Jr. OF SD
61 Buster Posey C SF
62 Michael Saunders OF TB
63 Danny Valencia 3B/OF OAK
64 Albert Pujols 1B LAA
65 DJ LeMahieu 2B COL
66 Miguel Sano OF MIN
67 Jake Lamb 3B ARI
68 Eduardo Nunez SS/3B MIN
69 Troy Tulowitzki SS TOR
70 Jonathan Schoop 2B BAL
71 Nomar Mazara OF TEX
72 Wilson Ramos C WAS
73 Odubel Herrera OF PHI
74 Logan Forsythe 1B/2B TB
75 Jung-ho Kang SS/3B PIT
76 Nick Castellanos 3B DET
77 Todd Frazier 3B CWS
78 Aledmys Diaz SS STL
79 Rajai Davis OF CLE
80 Jonathan Lucroy C MIL
81 Evan Gattis DH (C) HOU
82 Khris Davis OF OAK
83 Stephen Piscotty OF STL
84 Salvador Perez C KC
85 Willson Contreras C CHC
86 Danny Espinosa 2B/SS WAS
87 Justin Turner 3B LAD
88 Kendrys Morales DH KC
89 Jose Ramirez SS/2B/3B/OF CLE
90 Carlos Santana 1B CLE
91 Adam Eaton OF CWS
92 Shin-Soo Choo OF TEX
93 Kole Calhoun OF LAA
94 Jason Heyward OF CHC
95 Hanley Ramirez OF/1B BOS
96 Justin Upton OF DET
97 Trayce Thompson OF LAD
98 Jean Segura 2B/SS ARI
99 Cameron Maybin OF DET
100 Yasiel Puig OF LAD

Dropped from Rankings:

  • That’s right…NO ONE! Haha, it’s the All-Star Break, so…take a BREAK! Now’s the time to reevaluate, readjust, make some trades, and check in on some prospect fliers for the second half. Like Josh Bell? Nice! Have fun waiting until mid-August to see him again! Don’t worry, though, he’ll be joined by a bevy of others. And we’ll harp on them then.
  • In the meantime, here are some of the names I’m looking to add to the list in the Week 16 edition:
    • Yangervis Solarte
    • Didi Gregorius
    • A non-DL’d C.J. Cron
    • Brock Holt and Randal Grichuk
    • And, wait for it…..Mikael Mother Father Franco.
  • Now before some of you blow your kiermaier sausage everywhere, (cough ‘knucks’ cough), let me ‘splain a little about Mikael Franco. He’s incredibly hot and cold, and I have a serious negative penchant for players like this. Franco is the equivalent of football’s Mike Wallace. He was crazy hyper coming into the year, then did nothing for the first twelve weeks, then decided to go on a little tear to lead up to the break. He’s now on pace for 30 HR, and could easily reach that mark. But when I say he’s been hot, I mean he’s been torrid. Like Charleston, SC heat index at 8am when there’s 80% humidity in July. Did I just experience that? Yes. It freakin cakes on you like makeup on a pageant girl’s pillow the next morning. As much as I’m not a fan of ol’ Mikael, you can’t ignore what he’s been doing for the past 30 days: .302/16/7/17/0. Let’s see if he can do it through July, too.

Happy All-Star Break, everyone! Hopefully your team’s representatives, or starting squad if you’re the Cubs and Sawx, gives you every reason to watch the game. Check back next week for the now hyped Week 16 edition! And before you go… what hitter are you most excited about for the second-half?