An advanced play on words that sounds like a sickness from eating spoiled mayonnaise? Perhaps. OR could it be in reference to a baseball player named “Whit” and the regret you may feel drafting him early and then watching him fuel your impending ulcer in the first month of the season? Naw, couldn’t be that one. But it’s okay folks, with Whit’s struggles so far this season, there has certainly been the now trademarked “Whitgret” taking place among the people and I’m here to say hold up! First make sure and confirm that you know this content is actually about Whit Merrifield, not Bobby Witt. Too many Whits so Wittle time. (That one is free.) Second, maybe try some Pepto Bismol. And if that doesn’t work, alcohol might. Third, try not to be repulsed by Merrifield’s .151/.198/.183 triple-slash so far, because frankly, you should be way beyond repulsion at this point. What’s worse than repulsion, propulsion? Science baby. Especially when he’s coming off a 2021 campaign that saw him produce a more pleasing and palatable .277/.317/.395 which while not exactly elite, was enough to enable 40 stolen bases and 97 runs. But since he’s on pace for none of these things thus far, rightfully, there is concern and alcoholism.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Author: Jay
Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell.
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The title works better if you know geography, which is why I guess it works so poorly for me. But hey, we could have done a riff on the exciting sub-culture of “ty”ing knots… which I’m sure would have turned into a nautical or sexual conversation, which isn’t a terrible place to go depending on […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hey, it’s only been a decade, amirite? While the season’s start still remains fresh (does that mean it starts spoiling in the Summer?), some performances are garnering attention for better or worse. And you’d think we’d be handling the worse side of that coin (we get coins?) as not only will I be focusing on […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Connor-eyed Joe, What Did Make You Treat Me So?
April 12, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball | 3 Commentsby: Jay
Look, I understand that Connor-eyed Joe makes no sense, but if you came to one of my posts looking for sense, boy do I have some parentheses to sell you. (Hint, I like parentheses.) But yes, I’d like to imagine that something akin to the phrase above was going through Blake Treinen’s head in his first appearance on opening day when he gave up a game-defining homerun to one previously mentioned Connor Joe. And while there isn’t quite too much stock that can be put into what is now just 0.03% of the season completed, it’s not like we can’t dream on just a handful of games. I mean, the Padres are 4-1, that’ll totally last, right? (*Cries into alcoholic beverages. All of them.) But back to Joe, it’s no secret that the Rockies outfield is a bit crowded with Grichuk, Blackmon, Bryant, Hilliard and Daza. Combined that with the fact that Connor’s development and pedigree has been more of a slow-burn (with the majority of games in the minor leagues), but he’s always had a keen sense of the plate, sustaining strong career marks in both BB% and K% along with a bit of pop. And not for nothing, but his 19 plate appearances so far are tied with Bryant, and already more than the rest of his OF peers, something to keep an eye on. Connor-eyed perhaps? Feels so good!
Join me after the jump for some more random facts, hot takes, and other robust ruminations (classy content folks) on the Kwan, Jo Adell morphing into Pedro Cerrano from Major League and how long Kyle Farmer will keep plowing the field. Is it just me, or does that sound sexual? And is it just me, or does plowing the field not really equate to hitting well? Eff it, we’ve typed this far…
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2022 Razzball Fantasy Baseball Staff Picks
April 5, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball | 8 Commentsby: Jay
Welcome to another season of Razz-matazz Fantasy Baseball! Now with less social distancing! Maybe. Hey hey, you’re too close man, too close! So, despite the pandemic, here we are with another year of staff picks because staff picks and pandemics go together amazingly well. I mean, have you seen the roll we’ve been on the last few years? Covid and us are like this man. And talking about rolling… it’s how residents in Indiana get down a hill, or so I’ve heard. Technically I’ve never been there since I only like visiting places that have paved roads and not Duke. Another fun fact! Did you know that despite the modern advancement of technology and science, we still have no way to have every writer provide their extended take on every single player in the MLB? I mean, what would you have us do, write more? Crazy! And so we have this quick-and-easy presentation that provides you, the Razzmatazzball community, a viewer-friendly and succinct breakdown of how we all feel about the upcoming season.
So without further ado, here are our Official 2022 Razzball Picks! (Be sure to share yours in the comments section!) And be sure to add exclamation marks, we have a quota to fill people!
Please, blog, may I have some more?There were no snazzy or slick puns I could think of for Kyle Tucker (I mean, Tucker, I don’t even know her!)… see what I mean? But, I had thought about the “general idea” of Kyle Tucker and have come to the resounding conclusion that yes, he is a baseball player. Expert analysis at your finger tips, we are in the future. But let me expand! As the title kinda-sorta already spoiled, I just don’t think Kyle Tucker is a baseball player, but also carries the potential to build upon this season and provide second-rounder value. Want to know why? Follow me! I mean, it’s not literally following me, that’s kind of creepy, just, you know, press that button below. I can see how confusing it can be…
Please, blog, may I have some more?If you thought 00’s references were going out of style, you were probably right. So it makes sense that this period was my peak a burgeoning adult and I’ve never looked back nor matured since. And while the last thing we need a reminder of is one of Adam Sandler’s dumpster fires, this charming parlance through time has at least acted as a vehicle to talk about one Nicky Lopez, a middle infielder that is not only producing now, but is slowly building himself up to be an underrated target this upcoming preseason.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Look, I can’t just not see a player with the last name Kirk and just go full Trek. Plus, this is a nerd safe space, right? Y’all playing fantasy baseball, so I figure equal opportunity nerdom comes into effect. It’s not just natural law, but based on science as well. Totally. And while this will not turn into the usual derivative Trek conversations (Picard vs. Kirk! Star Trek vs. Star Wars! Basement living amenities vs. Garage living amenities!), I will definitely be talking about one Alejandro Kirk (Latino Kirk from the Mirror Universe?) and what this young player can do for you in the closing weeks of the season. Will it be good? Will it be bad? I mean, the player or the post? Both could be diametrically opposed answers… actually, now that I think about it, let’s just move on…
Please, blog, may I have some more?As the Labor Day weekend beckons (as of writing… just in case you read this after and wonder why I’m still talking about Labor Day) and the baseball season winds down towards the playoffs, fantasy partakers are left with an interesting bag to hold. And what is this metaphorical bag? Is it Coco Chanel? Does it have an available supply of lip balm and scented lotions? These are the real questions, but perhaps not the right ones. To bring us back to where the point should be (this early?), either you’re vying for a fantasy play-off run, the season is over, or you are beginning to think about next year. And a player that might garner interest in all three of those categories could be Lane Thomas…
Please, blog, may I have some more?While I would have preferred to critique and analyze (hey-oh) Trevor Story’s thus far lackadaisical season when healthy, his recent leg injury (which to be fair, has him listed just day-to-day as of this writing) does kinda take the wind out of the proverbial content sails. Wow, a nautical proverb, who would have thought? And while it might be a slightly awkward time to take a look at the player who might not get starts in the meantime, I’m willing to take that hit for the good of not wanting to change my subject and start this whole post over. So while Story is considered to be available in the upcoming series against the Dodgers, let’s focus on how he hasn’t been available to us for most of the year…
Please, blog, may I have some more?As history tells us, Vlad the Impaler was quite the refined Wallachian (the more you know) gentlemen, a national hero of Romania, and was also portrayed by Leslie Nielson in the documentary “Dracula, Dead and Loving It!” Okay, so it wasn’t a completely accurate historical piece, except for the many enemas (hmmmm), but who’s to say anything else about good ole Vlad is true or not? And before we go off the deep end (aka Wiki rabbit-hole), I think it’s better to get the obvious title tie-in with Vladimir Guerrero Jr., aka Vlad the II, and Vlad the Impaler, aka Vlad the III, and now I’ve realized this is all way too much work. Just know this! Vlad the II, the one playing baseball right now, we need to talk about him. That’s it, that’s my intro. God this season feels so long…
Please, blog, may I have some more?We all know sand is annoying. I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating… and it gets everywhere. These are just basic facts people. Like how the Earth is round and how face masks help prevent the spread of COVID. But strangely enough, my views on sand don’t quite line up with my views on Sandy Alcantara. I guess I should eventually find out his level of sandiness, but just focusing on that may not be helpful in a fantasy baseball context. While I’m always willing to be avant-garde with my analysis, we’ll put aside what may be controversial sand views on my part and concentrate on the fact that this once young arm who was destined to be a two-pitch reliever has gone on to start 69 out of 77 games pitched, and done so in an above-average fashion, much like my love-making! What do I make of this and what should you make of this are questions I will try to answer after the jump!
Please, blog, may I have some more?