That sound you hear is my heart going a pitter patter for Brandon Belt. That sound you might also hear is Bruce Springsteen on my iTunes. He’s singing the September 11th Telethon version of My City Of Ruins. It gives me chills eleven years later. Now to completely sully that beautiful image, I keep hearing, […]
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League-Wide Offense Longs For Shrunken Ball Era
April 6, 2012 | Uncategorized | 172 Commentsby: Grey
No surprise that Johan Santana pitched well yesterday. Everyone pitched well yesterday (except relievers). Now I know what it was like to play fantasy baseball during the dead ball era. “Hey, Scoots, I got me a base hit from my second bagger! I’m so excited, but maybe that excitement is from this Coca-Cola that’s made […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Miami Marlins Unveil HR Puffin’ Stuff Dome
April 5, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 419 Commentsby: Grey
You smell that? No, not your armpits. That’s Opening Day. The real thing this time! I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee. I love you! I want to touch baseball’s boobies! They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies! I am gushing over baseball’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Kyle Farnsworth is headed to the DL. You know who called this one? No one. Geez, closers are dropping like it’s hot and they’re from the North Pole and can’t handle the heat. Hmm, that wasn’t so pithy. In the last week, we’ve lost Madson, Storen, Andrew Bailey, Frank Francisco. Though we got back Frank […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? And When I Look At Andrew’s Health, I Throw Up
April 3, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 292 Commentsby: Grey
Andrew Bailey will need thumb surgery, according to one doctor. He’s scheduled to get a second opinion today. That second doctor’s gonna say, “The first doctor and I play golf and he only sent you to me to run up your doctor bills. Of course you need surgery.” My opinion is Bailey is always […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Pineda, See You Lata, Three Pineda, Four
April 2, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 288 Commentsby: Grey
And we have our first Disgraceful List of the season and the season hasn’t even started yet (really). I hate to say I told you so, so (stutterer!) instead, I’ll just quote the relevant text from earlier this preseason, “(Michael Pineda) is young so there’s plenty of time to see how well he adjusts. For […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2012 Giants Fantasy Baseball Preview
March 31, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Team Previews | 197 Commentsby: Grey
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2012 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Last year, the Buy/Sell brought you such brilliant ideas as “Grady Sizemore is gonna bounce back big time!” and “I don’t believe a concussion can knock a player out for a full year… Can I get a Morneau?!” Buy/Sell, “You know, I don’t point all of your crappy suggestions… Vernon Wells as a sleeper? 2003 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Fourth Yoenis Brother Tours Japan With His Pop
March 30, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 128 Commentsby: Grey
Yoenis Cespedes homered in yesterday’s second day of kinda real baseball played about six hours before I wake up. I wonder where Cespedes is being drafted now. When Rudy and I took our giant beach balls to early March drafts and took Cespedes in a bunch of drafts, he was going cheap. I wonder if […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Razzball Podcast — The One Where Grey Fails Spanish
March 28, 2012 | All Podcasts | 155 Commentsby: Grey
Afternoon, Razzballers, if I may call you that. If not, tough noogs. We have another very special podcast for all of youse. This podcast is brought to you by nothing in particular. Smell that? That faint odor? That’s nothing in particular! As always (or at least for the last two weeks), the contest for a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Opening Day Is Turning Japanese
March 28, 2012 | 2012 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 232 Commentsby: Grey
Did you know that Vapors song, Turning Japanese, is about masturbation? Because when said act is done, a man squints, hence turning Japanese. Things that are offensive aren’t always racist, but, in this case, they are. Too bad The Vapors follow up single, “When I Really Have To Pee, I Dance Like A Cherokee” never […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joakim Soria went from being a $12 Salad to a Donkeycorn to a Brain Freeze back to a Donkeycorn to off the list completely in 12 short months. And if this is the first post you’ve ever read at Razzball, I probably lost you by the eighth word. Later! In Soria’s wake is Broxton and […]
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