LOGIN
Grey

Author: Grey

Read the official "Who is Grey Albright?"

Read some of Grey's 5036 posts

Grey

Does It Make Me Buy To Desire An Erasmo-Ram?

June 28, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 970 Comments

by:

Okay, sue me for Safecoexual Erasment, but I need some Erasmo Ramirez right now. Who is stopping him? Joe Saunders, The Harangutan or is it Jeremy Bonderman? Whips and chains excite me, but Bonderman does absolutely nothing for me. The tantric Mariners will eventually succumb to an Erasm. They have to. They are pleasure seekers like all of us fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!). Ewww, just got the shudders talking about my mom with all of these double entendres. “Grey, your moostasha is full, but I don’t like this dirty word talk!” That’s my mom fresh off the boat from Sicily. Ramirez has an under 2 BB/9 and over 9 K/9 in Triple-A this year, and he’s not an out of the blue pitcher or without major league seasoning. Last year with the M’s, he threw 59 IP with a 3.36 ERA and an even 1.00 WHIP. There was even talk he’d start the year in the Mariners rotation, until he got injured. He’s fully healthy right now and blowing people away, biding his time for entry into the M’s rotation. Looking for that pitcher that could be this year’s Kris Medlen? Look no further! Unless, of course, you’re looking about 3 inches short of your computer screen, then look a little further. What does the Buysellatops think? It doesn’t think; it’s a dinosaur! I realize Erasmo pronounced backwards is, “I’m sorry,” but he won’t disappoint. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Yanks Offense Decimated By Another Derek

June 28, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 343 Comments

by:

For all you Jersey kids out there, yesterday’s game title is, “Holland Tunnels Yanks.” For all you Jersey kids out there who have been stuck in traffic in the Holland Tunnel on a hot day, “Holland Dutch Ovens the Yankees.” For all of you history nerds, “Holland Takes Back New Amsterdam.” By the way, I’d be surprised if I was the first person who thought of this, but I’ve never heard it before, so here goes: What is New Jersey shaped like? Kid from Kid ‘n Play. It is totally rocking the flat-top. Right? Damn, I totally would’ve failed me a Rorschach test. So Derek Holland put two peaches together yesterday and made a plum of a start with the line: 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 2 BBs and 7 Ks. Holland is what he is, which is a decent 3rd to 4th fantasy starter. The Stream-o-Nator predicted this beaut. Know why? The Yankees aren’t good usually (23rd overall for OPS), but are hideous vs. lefties (27th overall). These aren’t your slightly older brother’s Yankees. Right now, George Steinbrenner is rolling over in his grave, though that is partially because he was facing Billy Martin. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Tampa Bay R.A.y’d

June 27, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 959 Comments

by:

You wanted to sell R.A. Dickey, but no one was buying. Seeing last year as a fluke. Said he couldn’t do it again. Said you had too much fruit in your tapioca for even drafting him. They told you go fly a kite with Dickey, but not around children or it would be weird. Then Dickey throws a two-hit shutout yesterday with 6 Ks and you showed them that the only good thing that ever came out of being a naysayer is horse whispering. Or did you? Do you know anything more about Dickey than you did two days ago? He says he’s been dealing with cold weather and a sore back and he’s blaming the WBC. Excuses are like Alcides Escobar, everyone has one and they all smell. Did Dickey’s back suddenly clear up? Because he gave up six earned in his last start. Was the weather in his last start cold and Dickey shrunk up? This shutout was against the Rays, who are now 10 for their last 99 against him. They see Dickey and immediately go limp. Finally, your Dickey looks to be pointing in the right direction, but I wouldn’t start writing his name on your underpants just yet. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Leonys’s Bonuses

June 26, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 859 Comments

by:

Yasiel Puig‘s been lighting up the mainframe on the giant computer out of a bad 1950’s sci-fi movie, but he’s not the only Cuban. Leonys Martin also hails from our neighbor to the south that took up residence in Miami. Last night, he hit two homers, is hitting .417 in the last week and has a hit in each of his last ten games with 4 steals during that time. It’s the year of the Cubans, y’all! In all of their pressed hammy, mustardy, cheesy, pickley goodness. Side note: Do pickles seem like something Cubans would put in their food? Maybe Hyman Roth, but he’s not really Cuban or real, for that matter. Somewhere, ex-Cuban pitcher, El Duque, has a little extra hop in his exaggerated leg-kick that he still does, only now he does it before he cleans up tables at Chipotle. “You’re not going to finish your guac?” *leg kick* Leonys Martin should be owned in all leagues while he’s going well, and is the type of player that could have value all year if you’re patient since he could hit 12-15 homers and get 25-ish steals. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Razzball Podcast — The One Where We Talk Comics, Um, Graphic Novels

June 25, 2013 | All Podcasts | 574 Comments

by:

The guy who created my new (now old) avatar also did ones for Rudy and Nick (they’re all below the fold), and that got us talking about comics. I never read comics as a yute, so I’m good for nothing in this conversation, but I have a serious question for those that did read comics in high school. Did you know it was going to make it harder to get a girl or did you only want to date girls who thought it was fine to read comics? This is coming from a guy whose only reading was the chyrons at the bottom left side of the screen for music videos. “Little Grey, what are you doing?” “Reading, mama. Cher. If I Could Turn Back Time. Album: Heart of Stone. Label: Geffen.” I’m not saying comic book reading is bad, but there was a stigma, and at the gentle age of high school I think that stigma is obvious. BTW, if you say you hid comic book reading from girls, you can’t hide that sorta thing. This is more for 30-or-olders, as I think comic book reading doesn’t have the stigma it once did. Shoot, they even have new names for them –> graphic novels, which just sounds cool. Whatever ad exec that came up with the term ‘graphic novel’ should be hired by the National Board of Herpes to reinvent itself. Fantasy baseball was also discussed, names like Greinke and Kipnis and Sammy Sosa, not the bleached blonde one, the original recipe Sosa. Scott, the Prospect Whisperer, joined the podcast to talk about a few players who might be joining their parent clubs sooner rather than later. JB discussed all things Draft Kingsy and Rudy no showed. Apparently, he had a tickle in his throat. Can’t let that man out on the weekend! BTW, don’t you love how Nick is like Channing Tatum, the comic. Nick’s graphic novel would have the emphasis on graphic. Just call him Magic Nick. Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now in anime):

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

I’m Gregor, I’m Gregor, He’s Pa-Gone

June 25, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 503 Comments

by:

Angel Pagan might be out the season, but will definitely be out until September. Too bad, so sad, don’t forget to write, don’t write too often, waste of paper. Hey, Gregor Blanco, come on down! You are the next contestant on The SAGNOF Is Right. How many steals can you steal this year? Peter Bourjos says 20. Not bad, but seems a little low. Jacoby Ellsbury says 60. Whoa, that’s way too high; you’re not gonna win a trip for two to Mount Rushmore like that. Michael Bourn says 35. That’s not bad; he’s practiced this at home with his grammy. Oh no, Darin Ruf says 1. Damn you, Darin Ruf! Now I have to guess exactly or go with 2, but then Marlon Byrd can say 3 and I’m screwed. I’ll say…28. Byrd goes with 2, and Ruf gives him the stink-eye. Drew Carey says… Oops, when he pulled out the card an eight ball of coke fell out of his pocket. The correct answer is 32! I win! Next up, Plinko! Fitting since Gregor sounds like a Pinko. Sure, Blanco’s not an exciting name and is only the lede because there were four games yesterday, but he still has lots of value. This news is the equivalent to a new closer taking over. Blanco won’t kill you in average, and has been hitting near .500 in the last week. Blanco is a guy I’d grab in every single league if I needed speed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ike Can’t Promise But Ike Can Try

June 24, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 997 Comments

by:

Ike Davis could return next weekend. In other words, he’s moved one step closer to the plate in Metco. It only took him three months. He reminds me of myself in Little League. I was a solid .300, top of the order-type. People would marvel at how I would never strikeout. More Placido Polanco than Joey Votto, if those guys weren’t in Little League themselves at the time. Then I got beaned and I lost my nerve. Started standing five feet off the plate, not even able to reach the inside corner, and would bail out of the batter’s box as the pitcher wound up. That led me on a journey of self-discovery through girls, drugs, the falling baseball card market, fro-yo and hip-hop. So, I’m glad to see Ike has figured things out and won’t be joining the already overcrowded fantasy baseball blog market. Since there’s no mention of Ike being a scared little girl (with respect to our four girl readers), I have no idea why he didn’t just move closer to the plate three months ago. But he has now. There’s a chance he’s just as bad on recall, but I’d absolutely take a flyer on Davis if I had room in any league. A .255 hitter that could hit 20 homers (which he did last year in the 2nd half) in 3 months doesn’t grow on trees (except in remote parts of Indonesia). Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Pulling Upton My Big Boy Pants, They Need A Justin

June 21, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 1,076 Comments

by:

The love has been sucked out of the room for Justin Upton. His fantasy value went skydiving. After it went Rocky Mountain climbing. He went from totally chic to totally geek in 2.7 seconds on the back of a bull named “You, Man, Are Phooey.” (Where I grew up bulls had thoroughbred-like horse names.) If we can all remember back to April, with her freckles– Oh, wait, was thinking of the wrong April. I meant the month. *embarrassed Lisa Simpson giggle* In April, Upton look the world by the nuts and put a roof over every homeless person’s head. Turned out that those roofs were just sheets of matzoh and they got soggy during a rain-out in May. May you’re supposed to bring flowers! Upton’s HR/FB in April wasn’t maintainable (38.7%) and his badonkadonks flattened. He’s also not a 1 homer per month guy. On our last 30-day Player Rater, he has a -$7 value. That’s the same as Sugar Shane Robinson and Pedro Flori-none and Lyle Overbite. That’s not even near Upton’s value. His owners are panicked. Was Upton a one month guy? If he’s healthy, he’s not. He’s just slumping. This is a guy that regularly touched .800 OPS and is now barely cracking .550. I see no reason why he can’t be a 5-homer, .280 hitter every month for the rest of the year with a handful of steals. If someone has him and is sick from his roller coaster ride, I’d strap myself in sans barf bag and trade for him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Benoit Is Joaquin To The Head Of The Line

June 21, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 506 Comments

by:

When I told you to pick up Joaquin Benoit yesterday, I was 85% sure he would close games until the Tigers traded for Papelbon, who will be known in Detroit as a Papelbonneville. Then, because Leyland reads Razzball between smokes, he named Benoit closer by not naming him the closer. He said, “I’m not naming anybody closer. I’m just saying if Benoit was available right now, I would try to close with him.” Thanks for clarifying! Managers deciding on a closer is like debating euthanasia. Valverde’s done, pull the plug! The Yelp reviews for Benoit are through the roof, but there’s a lot of five star reviews from fantasy baseballers with only one other closer. I’d grab Benoit in all leagues and hope he can hold the job and make the thought of trading for Papelbonneville absurd. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nat-Gio Left Hanging Like Tribal Boobs

June 20, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 982 Comments

by:

If you found us from Google due to this title, you might want National Geographic or an African safari forum where discussion quickly turns into a story about how ‘your old lady doesn’t let you watch scary movies.’ Here, when we say our ‘old lady,’ we’re not using a euphemism for a wife. It’s for my fiancee. Gio Gonzalez had a throwback to the days of wine and roses. The wine being anything but Boone’s. The roses being McGowan. He went seven innings and didn’t give up a hit past the first inning with only 4 baserunners and 11 Ks vs. the Phils and Kyle Kendrick (7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks). This was a battle between two teams you think are good offensively, but are not. The Bryceless Nats couldn’t score for Gonzalez and needed an Ian Desmond grand slam in the eleventh to win. This no decision was Gio’s 7th in his last 8 starts — c’mon, Gio, make up your mind. Or console yourself with a QS, Gio! This was a nice start after I had reservations about his falling K-rate and rising walk rate. Again, it was the Phils, so I wouldn’t just accept he’s back to last year’s tricks. It’s an illusion! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Zack And Matt Make A Porno

June 19, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 954 Comments

by:

The afternoon started with Matt Harvey. He pitched a stellar 7 innings with 13 Ks, but Terry Collins sent him out there in the 8th after throwing 110 pitches, which lead to two singles and a walk, three runners that the bullpen let in. After the game, Collins said, “I felt bad for Duda (who blew a chance for a Harvey no-hitter by not covering first base on Heyward’s infield single). I couldn’t let Duda make the only Metsake of the game. I was going to keep pitching Harvey until he screwed up. He’d have started the nightcap, if necessary.” Fortch, it wasn’t necessary, as the nightcap brought on Zack Wheeler‘s debut with a line of 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 7 Ks. To summarize, it was shaky as all get-out at first. He looked like he couldn’t hit the broadside of Precious. Then he either calmed, or realized something — if he could locate, no one could hit him. He can easily be as good as Harvey, but I’m guessing it won’t be until next year. Last night was the best you could’ve hoped for. To summarize that summary, he was shaky, then solid. To summarize the summary’s summary, Zack good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Razzball Podcast — The One Where Rudy Unveils The Machine

June 18, 2013 | All Podcasts | 556 Comments

by:

Hello, Razzball nation, welcome back for another fantasy baseball podcast where Nick and I talk about cruise ships. If that doesn’t help you win your league, you may never. I’m sorry, knowing which countries Nick used to visit when he was a cruise ship director is dire shizz. Think of it this way: do you go with Nick Franklin or Josh Rutledge? Look at the Player Rater or the Hitter-Tron? Or go by Nick’s tales of the high seas? Think the answer is pretty obvious here. I’m told there was fantasy baseball talk on the rest of the show, but first a stand-up comic and stylist to pro athletes, Robert Jodoin, joined Nick as the first ever in-studio guest. They discussed what type of athletes want what type of clothes (surprise: hockey players like flannel). Also, Robert is officially available to Razzball Nation as a style consultant. He’ll help pick out what blazer to wear with your sweatpants. Then, Rudy and Nick discussed how the combination of Rudy’s tools are now affectionately being called “The Machine.” (I thought this was Andre the Giant in a mask, but Nick says, “Watch an episode of Person of Interest.” I don’t know what that is, but I’m gonna assume it’s something you watch. Context clues!) And how The Machine likes Travis Snider and John Danks. Who took The Machine to Tijuana and messed up its circuits with tequila? Let’s just say, the Hitter-Tron is a bad influence. Oh, and Nick sold the studio sponsorship to a divorce lawyer in Dallas. In related news, I may get married in Dallas to save myself some legwork. Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with a fashion stylist — are we E?):

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Copyright 2007-2026 Razzball LLC. All rights reserved.
Razzball.com and the Razzball logo units are copyright Razzball LLC.