by: Grey
Every time I see J. Jackson in the Orioles’ lineup, I have to do one thing. Do you know what I do? This is like a Buzzfeed Quiz, How Well Do You Know Grey? If you guessed I see J. Jackson and start yelling like Joe Jackson, “You’ll never amount to anything!” at my life-sized […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Mets’ conveyor belt of young impressive arms wraps around the world at the Equator, then loops up over South America like two suspenders and the head, Jeremy Hefner, is Canada, and the crotch area is whatever David Peterson’s done the last month and the armpits in New Jersey and Los Angeles (my two homes, aw, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I kinda like the searching I have to do now to make sense of a pitching line. It’s like: “Ooh, Cade Horton is through five innings and he’s got a no hitter with only one walk and six Ks (or 5 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78). He’s managed […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“He missed May.” That’s the note I have Post-It’d next to the name Jazz Chisholm Jr. in my brain. Yesterday, he went 3-for-4, 3 RBIs with a double slam (27, 28) and legs (26), as he hits .243. The counting stats are weak-ish; for some reason he’s hitting 7th, but a 30/30 season is hard […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I’m not one to yearn for the long-gone, halcyon days, waning nostalgic for the old stuff. Faster games are nice, I like the pitch clock and I don’t miss watching pitchers hit. 40-man rosters though? Ah, the salad days. Back in the day (2019), rosters would turn from a soda can to a Foster’s. We’d […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
A creepy guy in a long trench coat, “Hey, wanna see something?” He flashes open his coat and inside the coat is dozens of corner infielders. That’s the Reds. They are the horniest anyone’s ever been for a corner infielder. Honestly, I didn’t even know that was a fetish, but I am not here to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
If you blink at Matt Wallner‘s stats, you can see how he could be a perennial 30+ homer guy hitting .250+. Not a hard blink either, but a fast, something-in-your-eye flutter. If you blink super fast, you see ATT. If you blink super, super fast, you see TWA. Lots of old brands. Don’t see Wetzel’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Saw someone recently make the case that Kyle Schwarber (4-for-6, 9 RBIs, 46th, 47th, 48th and 49th homers) would be a terrible Hall of Famer. Not like he’d enter the Hall and pee on the memorabilia, but as in he does not belong. Well, I say, I want a Hall where he does belong! Assuming […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I made char sui pork recently. Was very good, easy too! Slather a bunch of stuff on the pork belly, roast it for five hours and slob-down on the oink. Nah’mean? That feeling I had when I was slob-downing on the oink that was what it was like having so many of these Jays/Twins hitters! […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Have you seen Jonah Tong? He looks like Tim Lincecum had sex with Tim Lincecum, and their baby would be Jonah Tong. Call Jonah Tong: Inceptioncum. ACKSUALLY, if k.d. lang had sex with k.d. lang, then Lincecum and Linceum’s baby and lang and lang’s baby stepped into The Fly teleporter at the same time and, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Was seeing how many Zimas I could drink while while on vacation with my mom while telling her it was sparkling seltzer. That was what I was doing when I was 22. On the other hand, Junior Caminero (4-for-5, 4 runs, 3 RBIs) hit a double slam (38, 39) and legs (7), 3rd and 4th […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Mariners play in an awful stadium. Catchers don’t hit for power–[suddenly something blocks the sun] Is that an eclipse? My “Is There An Eclipse Happening Right Now Or Am I Standing In A Shadow” app says there’s no eclipse but I’m also on a treeless street. Nowhere a house. There’s no shadows here! What on […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?