by: Grey
I was told Alex Bregman would never do anything ever again. I was told by a Samoan in a grass skirt and it was right after taking peyote. Maybe I imagined that. Gosh, I’m kinda freaking myself out now. Was it a dream? I was dressed as a toilet brush saying to Bregman I would […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Walking down the street of Pittsburgh, talking to Yinzers to get their thoughts on Paul Skenes‘s debut, and the people were chatty with anecdotes. I told them about how Skenes could be the best pitcher in baseball and they told me about when they saw Dale Berra and Dave Parker pull out a baggie of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
[watches as a deli man lathers up a piece of white bread with the most drippingly moist mayonnaise anyone’s ever seen, a customer bites into it and mayonnaise drips down his mouth as he exhales ecstasy] Oh my God, that looks so good! What do you call it? [the customer wipes his mouth with an […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?You’re gonna say, “C’mon, Grey, you’re putting us on, like you put on a shirt to perfectly complement your handsome face,” but I was at an art gallery yesterday and looking at this piece of (f)art right when Robert Gasser was called up: Guys and five girls, that’s what you call synergy. I swear I’m […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Often pitchers are kept in the minors so they can work on certain pitches. They reportedly need more polish. Pirates are the first team to hold a pitcher in the minors so they can polish something — the key to the city, which Paul Skenes will rightfully be receiving one day. Prolly after his first […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Jurickson Profar (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .338) is a top 20 player on the Player Rater. Not the last-7 day rater, the season-long. Yup. With that in mind, in a tie game, Mike Shildt removed Profar from the game for a defensive replacement. He removed his leadoff man. A guy who […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It was a long, strange journey through the month of April (seven whole starts) for my Mitch Keller preseason sleeper. Whenever a sleeper does bad, I blame woke. He was not awake, but maybe that was asking too much of a sleeper. I tagged him a sleeper, after all. Was I asking too much to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Steven Kwan hit the IL with a hammy injury, which really, really sucks–Hold up! Guards are calling up Kyle Manzardo! Oh, boy, I feel my rap altar ego, B. Fire coming on! Kyle Manzardo?! Aw sookie! That hit tool ain’t bizardo! Headed to the DQ for the Blizzardo! The original DQ was owned by a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hey, look at this! I got two tickets for the Astros’ Broadway remake of Weekend at Bernie’s! How cool is this? You know I’ll be seated! Later, the lights dim and the curtains go up. On stage, there’s a home plate with an impatient ump and catcher. The ump yells, “This is going to be […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Mets are promoting Christian Scott to the majors this weekend–[presses finger to ear] “Yes, I can hear you? What happened? As soon as they gave him the news he was promoted to the Mets Christian Scott became…bad? How does that happen? I see, so as soon as they said the word ‘Mets,’ he suddenly lost […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’ll admit to a certain type of satisfaction seeing the Rays suck. We should all be rooting against them for what they’ve done to our great game of baseball. The opener? Sucks! Not promoting prospects? Sucks! Pitching guys so far over their limits they all get hurt? Sucks! Platooning everyone? Sucks! Okay, someone help me […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Brewers called up Tyler Black, who has one of the most badass names. He sounds like Johnny Cash’s son if his son’s first name was Cash and was like, “I’m so badass but I’m changing my name from Cash Cash to Tyler Black, because that’s even more money than Cash Cash.” Guess what? Tyler Black […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?