Hope everyone had a great 4th! And, if not, because of a fireworks mishap, I hope you had an appropriately-sized piece of a hot dog nearby to act as a tourniquet. For the 4th of July, I put on water wings, floated in my kiddie pool, got 3rd degree sunburns and drank Rolling Rocks while […]
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Minnesota Is The Land of 10,001 Lakes And Brooks
July 3, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 192 Commentsby: Grey
Royce Lewis hit the IL with a strained abductor saying, “Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-but! I want to play! My abductor is fine! I’m not a mollusk! I don’t have an abductor! Do I look like a mollusk?” Then Rocco Baldelli squeezed lemon on his head, sprinkled some Maldon salt and slurped him down. Bye, Royce Lewis, he returned […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Mets are ladened in Grimace. Oozing from their pores is that giant purple nutsack’s charisma. They have imbibed the Grimace Shake and are juiced to the gills. With that said, I was really impressed by DJ Herz. He dazzled up my goggles like a sweaty Kurt Rambis in a sauna. There’s only two starters […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? We All Want To Go Overboard With Nat Wood
July 1, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 205 Commentsby: Grey
“I grabbed Wood two weeks ago and finally it’s paying off with some pleasure!” [Cancel Police break down my door and throw me to the ground] Don’t you need a search warrant before entering my house about a cancellation? Ow, you are digging your steel-toed boots into my back! Lift them off me, or lower […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Washington Visitors Fall To Knees Before The Taj Mahal
June 30, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 300 Commentsby: Grey
One of the most common bumper stickers on trucks in India is, “Taj Mahaulin’ Ass,” which is a bit of a country motto, that they don’t look kindly on altering. Raj Gopalaswami-Ramanathan, a South Indian truck driver, famously altered his bumper sticker to Raj Maulin’ Ass, and, one night, he was wrapped in 5-foot wide […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? He Wore A Razz Robbie Buy Ray
June 28, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 279 Commentsby: Grey
“Hey, I was just walking through this factory outlet mall when I came upon your store. I heard of Big ‘n Tall shops before but this is my first time ever in a Tight ‘n Rumpy. It seems like all you sell is…pants? Is that right? What’s that? Oh, excuse me, all you sell is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Chris Sale (7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.79) is a Hall of Famer. Yes or no? Don’t think about it. No googling. Say your peace out loud so only you can hear it. What did you say? Yes? Then you’re right. If you said no, you’re wrong. His career stats […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Cleveland Once Again Can Say “Here Comes Jhonny”
June 26, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 221 Commentsby: Grey
Maybe I’m jhuvenile but Jhonkensy Noel has me jhonking my nose in laughter. Jhonkensy? I ain’t Jhonkensy ’round these parts since the tennis courts closed in 2018. Excuse me, sir, my Jhonda’s jhorn stopped Jhonkensy’ing, and I am a very aggressive driver so I really need my jhorn to Jhonkensy. So, the Guards called up […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?[rubbing the plush purple belly of Grimace for good luck] May my dreams that have not yet been realized — like becoming a billionaire and winning my fantasy league, not in that order — come true. “Hello, boys and five girls!” What the heck? You’re not Grimace! Are you freakin’ Barney? “That’s right, boys and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Heston Kjerstad went 2-for-4, as he was re-called up by the O’s to not play. I mean, they didn’t say that, but how does the old saying go: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m still blaming you. Fool me five, six, seven times by calling up rookies and never playing […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Orelvis Martinez was hit with an 80-game suspension, which is just a perfect encapsulation of the Jays’ season. It’s the Curse of Ohtani’s Plane is In-Flight to Toronto. Highly touted rookie comes up, plays in his 1st MLB game, 24 hours later, suspended for 80 games. That’s the land-speed record for PEDs. Was he taking […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? You Can’t Buy Me Love With Noelvi
June 21, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 246 Commentsby: Grey
Talked a bit about this on the podcast — you might’ve heard my fifteen different pronunciations of Noelvi Marte. No-el-vee? No-el-Vey? Noelgallaghervee? Some classic “Grey can’t speakisms” in there. Any hoo! — I don’t think PEDs, in the traditional sense, is a thing for most of these guys who are busted in recent years. Maybe […]
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