Manny Acosta called into Razzball HQ yesterday. Here’s what he had to say, “Upon returnance, John Smoltz can have closer job back. Upon Soriano’s returnance, he can have setup role. Gonzalez wants eighth inning and lefty specialist role? He have it. I’m not a lefty anyway. I wish only good happenings to Mr. Cox, my family, my team and Jesus Cristo. I request Cox do closer by committee until Smoltz returns, because that is the most democratic. Now put me in the sixth inning, so I can avoid this mess. I wish to chillax. I have myself on one fantasy team, and let me say this, ‘I drop myself.’ Now vote Obama!” There you have it, folks. Razzball’s first big scoop. If that doesn’t make us hotter than baby stew, I don’t know what does. Not only has Acosta dropped himself, but he’s also voting Democrat. Anyway, here’s what else I saw:

Royce Ring – Relieved Acosta. I don’t think he’s going to have much value going forward. He’s a lefty specialist, ya’ll.

Jeff Bennett – Relieved Royce Ring retiring rast Radre (okay, a little forced on the alliteration). I have him on one team. The team I’m hoping sucks. Then again, I have Carlos Silva on that team and he only gave up one run against the Mariners. Then again, it was the Mariners.

Buddy Caryle – If The Kouz would’ve reached, Buddy would’ve joined the closer committee. Officially, the Bravos bullpen is filled with options, which makes the Acosta option weak at best. Wait, Acosta’s calling in again, “I told ya. Not interested in closing. Tooooo stressful. And put five ohs on ‘too.'”

Gavin Floyd – *SPOILER ALERT* He’s still not good. Let me put it this way, if he would’ve got a no-hitter, I still wouldn’t have picked him up in any leagues. He’s not a hidden gem that can replace Gallardo or Hill or Smoltz or any other starter you’ve recently lost.

Aaron Harang – Can’t blame him, he pitched well enough to win. Imagine a world where Harang pitched for the Yankees. Now imagine the Yankees played in Petco. Harang’d win twenty-five and would have already dumped Alyssa Milano like three times. Alas, the Reds score no runs every fifth day.

Ben Francisco – He can do what I thought The Big FraGu could do, but he’s going to be doing it in the same crowded outfield so he may not get enough at-bats. If he does get at-bats, he could get to 15/15 and he’s actually already in Yahoo — woo-hoo! But you don’t necessarily want him just yet, except in the deepest of leagues.

Shawn Hill – *looking for positives* Bunch of rinky-dink hits. *looking at negatives* Needs to be more economical. It’s not like he’s striking people out and he’s barely getting through the fifth.

Jacques Jones – Word he might pop up on the Padres or the Marlins. As Chicago once sang, “Look away, baby, look away.” (BTW, I wish Jones pronounced his first name like that black dude from The Real World: San Diego. That’s it; just felt like saying that.)

Wilfredo Ledezma – He’s already gone in my NL-Only league. Why? Cause he’s now the Padres’ fifth starter. Any Padres starter has value because of their home park. He replaces Germano in the rotation. And he begins dating Alyssa Milano by July.

Brian Bannister – This is closer to the type of pitcher he is, not the April guy who everyone was picking up.

Manny Corpas – Struckout Pujols. Sure, it was in the seventh inning, but I wouldn’t count him out just yet.

Felipe Lopez – Oh-for-five with four strikeouts — that’s razztastic.

Orlando Hudson – O-Dog’s hamstring is barking. He didn’t look good on Monday when he was in the starting lineup so it’s not surprising that he was sitting out yesterday’s game.

Austin Kearns – You’re not roping me in this time, Kearns. No, sir. (But he does go on hot streaks and hits home runs in bunches and he just hit a home run and… Oh, he’s roping me in again. I need a support group. Austin’s Kids? The Kearns Trauma Unit? Second Degree Kearns? I don’t know. Rudy probably will come up with something.)

Jhonny Peralta – I like seeing someone batting .219 in May. They’re due. But he’s not exactly a .300 hitter.

Jason Giambi – I really like seeing someone bat .157. But he’s not exactly a .260 hitter.

Robinson Cano – Also batting .157 (weird!). But he’s not exactly Actually, he is better. So what, he bats .310 the rest of the way? .320?

Scott Olsen – I gotta be honest, I kinda wrote him off this year, but he’s always had talent. Opponents are batting .186 against him, but his K/BB is not good and BB/9 isn’t either. A correction could be coming.

Jonathan Sanchez – He gets the Phillies next. I say, no thank you.

Josh Hamilton – If he can steer clear of injuries and crack-cocaine, he could hit 35 in Texas. But, and this is simply hypothetical, if he were to smoke crack-cocaine, I think his power would remain, but he’d probably show flashes of speed. That’s right, Josh Hamilton’s a 35/20 player if he relapses. Downside, rehab group with Dwight Gooden. Upside, first round selection next year. That’s a coin flip if I’m his agent.

Andruw Jones – Batted second yesterday. All I have to say is, “Ha!”

Blake DeWitt – Now has two home runs in two days. Tonight’s was of the inside the park variety. He doesn’t have much upside.

Santiago Casilla – Now has a save to go with his perfect ERA. Huston Street loses a fibula or some shizz by the All-Star break and he’s closing.

Jeff Mathis – Now in a 3-for-28 slump. In the world of catchers who aren’t owned, I like Dioner Navarro.

Stephen Drew – Fourth home run, should be owned in all leagues. Well, not all leagues, cause there are some that only play with the American League guys.

Ryan Ludwick – Let’s assume LaRussa’s hitting the juice again, but even he has to see Ludwick deserves to be in the starting lineup.

AJ Burnett – How about this line: 6 IP, 10Ks, 9 hits, 5 earned runs. Looked like half the team couldn’t figure him out and the other half couldn’t wait to face him.

Carlos Pena – Almost forty strikeouts. Cust kayin’.

Nate McLouth – Nine home runs?! He’s like Andy Van Slyke’s kid brother. All he needs is a prima donna LF.

  1. mike says:

    Im thinking about dropping Acosta for Betancourt……think Betancourts a better option?

  2. mike says:

    Also Delmon Young got dropped. Havent seen him play is he a good pickup?

  3. Grey

    Grey says:

    @mike: Rafael? Sure. Yuniesky? No.

    Delmon’s actually hasn’t looked so good thus far. If he were on my team, I wouldn’t drop him, but if he were on waivers, I also wouldn’t pick him up in a ten or 12 team league. AL-Only and bigger than 12, sure.

  4. mike says:

    sry…yeh i was talkin about Rafael Betancourt. Does Borowski get the job back when he returns?

  5. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    Proposed trade… Mixed 5×5, 12 team:

    (his team) Ryan Howard and Todd Jones for (my team) Derrek Lee and Brett Myers.

    I miss saves like Sade’ misses the rain. I’m awesome in era/whip/k’s, etc. I’m shaky in steals and saves and rbi.

    Peas and Grease.

  6. Grey

    Grey says:

    @mike: Yeah, he does, but I like Smoltz, Soriano and Gonzalez’s chances to keep Acosta out of the picture then Blowrowski keeps Betancourt away.

    @IowaCubs: How are you in home runs and average?

  7. dan says:

    Pence is available in my league is it safe to drop acosta. my other r’s are putz, betencourt, valverde, f cordero

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @dan: Yeah, drop Acosta for Pence.

  9. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    1st in Average, 2nd in HR. I can spare Lee, but I’d need comparable power numbers.

  10. Steve says:

    Heh — had a good laugh last night when one of the “everything I know about baseball I learnt from ESPN and Sparky Anderson” owners in the old skool league that I commish emailed me to pick up Gavin Floyd in the 7th inning of his near-near no-no (which he would’ve got if Ozzie had put Brian Anderson in center for Swish!). Definitely a pitcher with more value in MLB than fantasy baseball….

  11. Grey

    Grey says:

    @IowaCubs: I like Howard better than Lee, but I think you can do better than Jones for Myers. It’s not a deal breaker though. I’d try and push a little for a slightly better closer.

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Gotta love those guys. They usually have Youk on their team.

  13. dan says:

    Speaking of pitching, should I be thinking about unloading f carmona? What starting pitchers could I target…maybe throw in pence

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @dan: If Pence was dropped, I can’t imagine he’s going to have much value. And Carmona, who I don’t like, has more value on your team than you can probably get in a trade. You can try, for sure, but I can’t see people really clamoring for him right now.

  15. BSA says:

    If my pitching staff is Beckett, Bedard, Hudson, Myers, Volquez, Cueto, Papelbon, Ryan, and Fuentes. My team is Mauer, Varitek, Morneau, Kinsler, Renta, ARam, Longoria, Figgins, Wells, Quentin, Kemp, Damon, Thome. He has Soto, Posada, DLee, Utley, Rollins, CGuzman, Atkins, Vlad, Fuku, ASoriano, ISuzuki, McLouth, Penny, Burnett, ACook, Jurjeins, Lincecum, KWood, Chris R Young.
    I went for Rollins and he asked about Pap. What sort of combo would you think about, if any?

  16. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: Combo for what? Paps? Rollins and Paps straight up isn’t working for him?

  17. BSA says:

    I don’t think Paps/Rollins straight up works for me. If I wanted Utley and Rollins what would be fair? Utley and who for Pap? Rollins and who for Pap? or could I do something for Beckett instead of Pap and be fair enough to go through the veto crap. Or are both teams good enough as they are to enjoy the ride?

  18. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: Utley and Ivan DeJesus? Utley for Paps is already lopsided in Utley’s favor. It might go through if the other guy is in desperate need of saves or is a Sawx fan, but I’d be annoyed if someone got Utley for Paps in one of my leagues. Pretty much same with Rollins. But since Rollins is coming back from injury it makes a bit more sense. I think adding someone to Rollins is pushing the limits.

    EDIT: Cuz.

  19. BSA says:

    See now being a sophomore and a Sawx fan I place a value on Paps. If he wants Paps and I have Ryan and Fuentes for saves then you would try and move Paps for Rollins first or Paps for Utley first? If he is asking about Paps I have two shots at this.

  20. p0rk burn says:

    Grey and Rudy:

    Long time listener first time caller. You guys have been my go-to resource since I discovered the site before my drafts this season, thanks a ton. The advice worked for one of my leagues where I’m sitting in first but, unfortunately, my big money league is making me an embarrassment to fantasy baseball. Could you give me some pointers to try and salvage the season before its too late?

    H2H 10 team mixed.
    R, H, HR, RBI, SB, K, TB, AVG, OBP, SLG
    IP, W, L, SV, HR, BB, K, HLD, ERA, WHIP

    c- Bengie Molina
    1b – Prince
    2b – Jeff Kent
    3b – Aramis
    ss – Bobby Crosby
    CI – James Loney
    MI – Dan Uggla (I know you hate him Grey, but he’s the only Marlin I’ve let myself get attached to down here in Miami. Anybody with actual talent is going to be traded – I’m talking to you, Hanley)
    LF – Hideki Matsui
    CF – Torii
    RF – Markakis
    Util – Vernon Wells
    B – Ethier
    B – Orlando Cabrera (he’s ass right now)
    B – Rollins (he better be back in the lineup tomorrow)
    DL – Hank Blalock
    DL – Jorge Posada

    SP – Johan Santana
    SP – Josh Beckett
    RP – Putz
    RP – Scott Downs
    P – Aaron Cook
    P – Ryan Franklin
    P – J. Valverde
    B – Heath Bell
    B – Billingsley
    B – James Shields
    B – C. Cordero

    Obviously the DL bug bit me hard but I’ve lost or tied every offensive category so far this season except HR (2-1-1) and RBI (2-2-0). Can this squad be saved?

  21. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: Well, if you have two shots. Try and get Utley. When he declines that, go back with Rollins. But I would try and get Rollins before he returns. Not sure why you only have two shots. Have you bombarded him with too many trade offers?

  22. BSA says:

    I’ll let you know. No not too many because I never looked at him as a trade option before.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: Thanks for being there, Pork Burn.

    I like Prince, Aramis, Torii, Markakis, Billingsley and Shields out of this entire team. So I’m assuming your other teams are the ones you listened to me on.

    Your team’s speed-deficient. Uggla (yes I don’t like him, but you got him so I’ll ignore my dislike) and Kent are the same players just at different stages of their careers. I’d try and move Kent for Theriot or Matsui (in that order).

    Rollins will replace Crosby, so you’ll be fine there.

    Of course Cabrera’s ass. I’d drop Crosby and Cabrera and see what’s out there for MRs/potential closers.

    Your starters aren’t bad. Your MR and closers are lacking.

    Ryan Franklin? Eh. Go for Casilla, G. Mota, T. Buchholz, Neshek or Kyle McClellan (in that order) or some other MR that has a chance for saves or K/WHIP/ERA help.

    I’d drop Cordero. He’s not going to be back for a while and might not have any value even when he does reappear. OR… Trade him and Loney for something… Anything. Maybe a corner guy and a low tier closer. Capps, Percival (I can’t believe I’m suggesting him either), Lyon coupled with someone like Kouz, who hasn’t looked good but I’d still want him moving forward over Loney.

    You could also just drop Blalock and DL Cordero if you don’t want to lose him, but I dropped Cordero in a fifteen team expert league and no one picked him up. He’s just siting on waivers.

  24. Adam says:

    Even though he got pulled last night, Acosta is still the favorite to get 5 or 6 saves or so before the other Atlanta relievers come back, no? That makes him someone to hang on to for a while longer. Why drop now?

  25. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Adam: Since I wrote the above, Soriano AND Gonzalez have reported arm problems and they’ll probably be out longer than anticipated. Also, Cox brought in a lefty specialist after two walks. That’s about as short of a leash any closer could have. People were warming up the whole time, that shows very little faith in Acosta. If you’re desperate for saves, hold onto him cause Smoltz’s return is still a little up in the air, but Smoltz will definitely be the closer when he returns.

  26. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    Two options for steals… Reggie Willits, Ryan “My Legs Aren’t The Only Things That Are Crazy” Freel, Jason Werth and Joey Gathwright. Which one should I pick up?

    I have an open roster spot and sorta need steals, but I’m fine on every category except for RBI.

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @IowaCubs: Try Willits on for size.

    Your Freel nickname made me laugh.

  28. Marc says:

    I need SP help. I have Oswalt/Snell/Danks/Eveland/Kuroda/Piniero/Parra/Harden. I’m hurting in all ratios and almost no wins. I have a good offense with Roberts/Furcal/Kemp/Holliday/DLee/Young/Sizemore/Quentin.

    In a H2H league, I have an opportunity to get one of Sheets/Zambrano/E Santana for D Lee. I might be able to work Cano into the deal too.

    What do you think?

  29. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Marc: No offense, but of course you’re hurting, your pitching is bad.

    I would try to trade Lee, Harden and Danks for Zambrano and Cano.

    I have no idea if those three pitchers are on different teams, but if they’re on the same. Try to trade Lee, Harden, Danks and Eveland for Zambrano and Santana.

    You have way too many rookie pitchers. Most you really want is two and that’s pushing it.

    I also can’t imagine why Piniero is on your team.

  30. Chet says:

    You know you have been reading too much Razzball when you use the word “chillax” in polite company.

  31. Chase says:

    Good news Grey,

    Finally got rid of Greinke and Gonzales! Phew!

    Just dealed them both to a guy for Ryan Howard! I feel like i accomplished something.

    Also, I just got Aaron Harang in another deal.

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chet: Polite company would be a great rock band name.

    @Chase: Noooooooo!!! Joking. Yeah, that’s good. Well played.

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