This week looks like a S an M fest for WHIP ratio’s.  Most of these guys I wouldn’t give to my ex-girlfriend.  Anyways, we must plug along, and I have to write about something.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.  Good thing that care taker job fell through or I would be screwed.  So back to baseball, it’s a slim week for 2 start streamers and with inter league it may be time to load up on an extra bat instead.  That was a piece of advice, but I am hardly ever right so you do you.  Good luck this week and hope your stats are plentiful.  (Please note that pitchers and match-ups change)

One-start Streamers:


Felix Doubront @ Mia – Nolasco

Brain Matusz vs Pit – Correia


Barry Zito vs Hou – Rodriguez

Vin Mazzaro vs Mil – Marcum


Dillon Gee vs Cin – Arroyo

Jarrod Parker vs SD – TBD

Two-Start Options:

Randall Delgado (NYY vs Nova, Bal vs Chen) I read that he is somehow related to the guy who made his cat into a helicopter.  I know that isn’t remotely true but you should google it and get a chuckle.

Garrett Richards (@LAD vs Capuano, Ari vs Kennedy) Remember last week how I said he was going twice that week.  I lied. Get in your time machine or magic flying dragon named Falcor and pretend I never said it.

Blake Beavan (SD vs Richard, SF vs Bumgarner) His saving grace for this post is that both starts are at home.  Throw a dash of mediocre run scoring opposing teams and he only makes me sick when I turn to my left.

Alex Cobb (NYM vs Young, Mia vs Johnson) Tys, corns and salads.  It’s like head, shoulders, knees, and toes but with people and food instead.  Don’t  try to touch your corns they make little pads for those.

Bartolo Colon (@Col vs Guthrie, SD vs Richard) I can just picture the Oakland papers on Wednesday after the Colorado start. Insert your own random lower intestinal comment, I am too busy getting a pedicure, you know the one where the little fish eat away the dead skin.  Whatevs, I saw it on Oprah.

Paul Maholm (Det vs Scherzer, Bos vs Beckett) Since last appearing on my weekly post he hasn’t won.  Honestly I don’t think the Cubs have either.  So basically what I am saying is somebody is due.

Wei-Yin Chen (@Pit vs Lincoln, @Atl vs Delgado) His first name reads like the educational side of a fortune cookie.  Flip that over and we hope what it says there happens in fantasy or in bed.  Whatever game you like to play with your cookies.

Clayton Richard (@Sea vs Beavan, Oak vs Colon) His name sounds so diplomatic, too bad his stats make others want to over-throw the leadership.  Gets at least one start in the Petco sanctuary where fly balls go to die.

Kyle Kendrick (@Min vs Liriano, @Tor vs Morrow) I like this guy, I don’t care what other people say. Cause I like him. Is he awesome? No, but he is mine.

Brad Lincoln (@Bal vs Chen, @Cle vs Gomez) Based on match-ups I would say woo-hoo, then I realized it’s Land of Lincoln and I slowly forget why I even play fantasy baseball.

  1. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Nice roundup, great comic relief!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Paulie Allnuts, Thx

  2. Smokey –

    With Jaime Garcia going down, you think we see a Shelby Miller promotion soon or is that still a ways off?


    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @El Burro, Not until at least August I would think. They will piece together with Joe Kelly and Brandon Dickson

  3. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:

    Is Milone droppable in an 8 team H2H due to his road splits, low Ks and wins? Could also drop Myers as I don’t expect him to be a closer after the trade deadline and I’ve got more than enough.

    All of the names above are available in my league with the exception of Doubront, but I’m leaning Kendrick for his RP eligibility.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Shin-Soo Choo Choo, sure anything is worth a shot

  4. Michael Wallace says:

    Too much time trying to be funny. I have no clue on some of these. No help to me.

  5. Garrett says:

    Yes milone is droppable

  6. elwood blues says:

    Finish this sentence.. Next year at this time Anibal Sanchez will be pitching for ___.

    I have him at $12 in my NL Only keeper league–great price— but am worried about the possibility of losing him to AL. I have had the worst luck with that over the past 2 years. I am slipping far from contention, and may be able to get Bauer at $5.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @elwood blues, gotta say marlins. But if you wanted to sell him for a Bauer, granted there are no raises in salary ever, I would want another piece Sanchez’s value in NL only is high.

      • elwood blues says:

        @Smokey, Travis Wood or Gregerson (you think Gregerson will be the closer if Street gets traded, they won’t go back to Thayer, will they?

        • Elwood blues says:

          @elwood blues, Or eduordo sanchez?

    • Hats for Bats says:

      @elwood blues, Chiba Lotte Marines

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