With half the 2008 fantasy baseball season in the books, it’s time to take a look back at how fantasy baseball and the world has changed in the last three months. When the fantasy baseball season started…

…Branded the Latin Sandy Koufax, the New York Media fit Johan for a yarmulke.

…Mike Myers was still considered funny.

…I had 2 Facebook friends. I’m up to 3.

…The Cubs had their expectations in check.

…Tomatoes were safe to eat.

…Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey weren’t dating yet.

…Deer meat vs. Clint Barmes was still decidedly in deer meat’s favor.

…Everyone thought the Marlins, the A’s and the Nats would be bad. (Only the Nats didn’t disappoint. Oh, wait, does that mean they did disappoint??? Ugh, brain freeze!)

…Everyone thought the Tigers would win over a 100 games and challenge every offensive record while being led by Miguel Cabrera, who some thought should be handed the MVP trophy in the preseason.

…In related news, Jim Leyland was smoking only two packs a day.

…A gallon of gas was $3.77.

Edinson Volquez for Josh Hamilton was a trade that bored you at worst, and yawnstipated you at best.

…I had no idea what Turducken was.

…I had a full roll of toilet paper.

…If I told you Grady Sizemore was on pace for 40/40, you’d tell me that was one of the top stories of the year thus far.

…There was hope that the new Indiana Jones movie wouldn’t be a disappointment that was obviously made by two out-of-touch filmmakers that long ago sold their soul for plush toys.

…My use of Cust kayin’ wasn’t stale.

…Eugenio Velez was on three of my teams.

…I had Carlos Ruiz on seven of my teams.

…Jon Rauch was a setup man.

…I hadn’t yet figured out what I was going to be for Halloween. Now I know — I think I might be beat.

Curtis Granderson was injured, but no one seemed fazed. Pujols was injured and everyone ran the other way.

…George Carlin was still cursing.

…I had an idea to market a Sunday, after-church drink called Blood of Christ-tinis.

  1. Joe says:


    Would you be interested in putting up midseason rankings? They’d make for a good read.

  2. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Joe: Honestly, I’ve thought about it, but it would be a lot of work. I’ll see if I can get a chance.

  3. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    BLOOD OF CHRIST-tinis! You’re like the classyest man in the Fantasy Baseball Business!!! Phew…


  4. buff the omniscient says:

    (artist formerly known as Knighttown-but my damn computer is fucking up)

    So the halfway point of the year officially coincides with the day I trade the 4th of my 4 (H)ACES I drafted. Unloaded (H)amels (and Ellsbury and O. Hudson) for Howard, Oswalt and Parra. Previously I unloaded (H)aren, (H)ernandez and (H)udson…ok I’ll stop with the (H) thing, it’s annoying. My pitching staff consists of only waiver wire pickups (Lilly, Wolf, Sanchez, Parra, Guthrie and Volquez) so its up to you fantasy gurus to protect my massive fantasy pitching lead. I need the name of any and all potentially good starts. My “start all mediocre pitchers at home against the Nationals” experiment was a minor failure…who knew the Orioles couldn’t hit??

    But my fuck can my team rake. A-Rod, Fielder, Howard, Rollins, Upton…and that’s just my infield.

  5. Grey

    Grey says:

    @buff the omniscient: That’s a pretty solid rotation for waiver wire onlys. You seem like you know what you’re doing more so than that Knighttown fellow.

  6. wakeNbake says:


  7. wakeNbake says:

    typo.. 8 weeks

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wakeNbake: I picked up Marte in 75% of my leagues and Yates in the other 25%. Marte is a lefty, otherwise I’d say it’s a no-brainer.

  9. wakeNbake says:

    would u drop Capps….”at least 8 weeks” is basically the rest of the season no?

  10. wakeNbake says:


  11. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @wakeNbake: Thanks Razzball! (And thanks, wakenbake.)

    I don’t see this reported anywhere else yet — not Rotoworld, not ESPN. But Razzballers come through!

    I dropped Willingham for Marte. I’m first in saves with Soria, Rauch, and Torres. But I’m a whore. I want more! More!

    I’d just dropped Headley for Willingham yesterday. Alas.

    Just for shizzengiggles, rate my lame-o 3rd OF from here on out: Pence, Frenchy, Bruce. (ex) Willingham.

    In my 12 team mix, a guy like Willingham is basically the exact median of player available, i.e. there’s always a Willingham out there to be picked up.

    Come on Pence! Get hot!

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Wait, you sound down on Bruce? Wow. Bruce just called, he wants you to take that knife out of his back.

  13. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Shizzengiggles, part 2: Picked up Marte in regular league, and Yates in RCL just for fun. Dropped Guardado, who I think may have retired while I was away.

    Though Yates K:BB is super-duper-ugly. He’s at 40.2 IP, 25K, 30 BB. Y.U.C.K.

    @Grey: Not down on Bruce. He’s found a comfortable resting spot on my bench on which to hibernate. I haven’t dropped him yet, have I?

    I can’t quit neither him nor Frenchy ’cause I know they’re going to get hot eventually. Right? Right?

    I wish I had a solid consistent third OF so I could send that French Bastard packing.

  14. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    Did you do this in leagues where you are a Capps owner?

    Would you add Yates for:

    Marcus Thames?
    Ben Francisco?
    Kyle Lohse?
    JJ Putz?
    Grant Balfour?

    Marte is already owned in the other leagues.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Yeah, Yates is scrounging, last resort shizz.

    @IowaCubs: See answer to Baron. Though I’m not crazy about someone like Thames so I would kick him to the curb.

  16. Lou says:

    Can David Price help turn my 2nd half around?

  17. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    Who would you trade for Marte?

    Pence or Bruce? Neither?

  18. Steve says:

    I’ll ask this on the newer post, but look away, BVV.

    Grey – drop Bruce for Gordon?

  19. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Lou: Don’t count too heavily on Price. Remember, this guy was in college this time last year. He’ll see the majors this year, but he’ll be babied. It’s not like the Rays are hurting for starters right now either.

    @IowaCubs: Of those, I’d bump Lohse. He’s a proven lohser.

    @IowaCubs: Why not wait and make sure Marte actually becomes the closer? No need to rush out now. Later, I’d trade Bruce* but not Pence.

    *don’t tell Grey.

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Yes.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: @IowaCubs: I think Marte will get the bulk of the saves, and I would trade Bruce if he’s just sitting on your bench. I wouldn’t expect more than 15 saves though.

  21. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I don’t know about Lohse. I’ve hated him ever since I once owned him on a dare from bullies back at Valley High, but this year, he’s on a winning team and he’s going deep into games…. and winning them. His peripherals back this up. Not striking out many, but not exactly Jason Marquis either.

    I’m holding on to this penny stock lohser. Me needs the wins.

    I was hoping to catch another owner off guard on Marte, but I’m too honest and too Catholic to do this. Maybe I’ll do it and ask my grandma to say a few rosaries for me. While she’s at it, I’ll have her pray for Grey and his sacreligious potty mouth.

  22. wakeNbake says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: No prob, Ive been looking for any news on Capps because I knew it just wasnt like him to blow 5 out of 6 save opps.

    Also a little news on Clay Buchholz…..Boston Red Sox SP Clay Buchholz (finger) threw five shutout innings Monday, June 30, to lower his Triple-A ERA to 1.63. Manager Terry Francona was expected to talk with general manager Theo Epstein about the recent improvements of Buchholz. Buchholz may be getting closer to returning to the Red Sox.

  23. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @IowaCubs: Hey, 10 wins is 10 wins. But didn’t Lohse pull this stunt last year with the Phillies? He was really good for awhile, then woke up one day and was like, “Wait, I’m Kyle Lohse.”

    Also, what’s with the Cardinals’ knack for finding retread pitchers and making you think they’re good, except that they’re not >coughcough<

    Lohse is the collision of those two unpleasant vectors.

    As for his peripherals, I say peripherals, pershmipherals. That’s right. Somebody had to say it.

    @Steve: Reluctantly, I agree. BUT REMEMBER THIS: Somebody will do to you with Bruce as I did to someone with Cueto: Wait until you run out of patience, then grab him when you drop him just as he’s coming around.


    *Sung to tune of “Wells Fargo Wagon” from ‘The Music Man.’

  24. wakeNbake says:

    Dare I start Dustin McGowan on the road? I kno his home/road splits are crazy lopsided but its freakin Seattle!!…if I cant start him against Seattle then why is this guy on my team?

  25. cruisinkc says:

    I heard Buchholz might take Masterson’s spot even as early as this saturday… Who has better value going forward? Scott Backer or Clay Buchholz?

  26. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: There should have been a “Braden Looper” in there among all that coughing.

  27. Steve says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Oh, I’m mentally prepared for that, don’t worry. But I couldn’t even trade him when he was hot, so hopefully they will leave him alone and I can grab him again if I need to.

  28. wakeNbake says:

    @buff the omniscient: I always take the same approach this time of year. Once I get a good read on what offenses I can spot start pitchers against, I trade away all my aces for hitting. The trick is at the All-Star break you have to be among tops in your league in WHIP and ERA to do this. You have to be very smart about your spot starts in order to protect those categories. Also use alot of good MR, it helps incase your spot start implodes every once and a while. I recently traded away Hamels, Verlander and Zambrano all to get offense which leaves me with Oswalt, Harang, McGowan, Nolasco, Wakefield, Parra, Weaver and Wainwright, Chris Young on the DL. Since Ive traded my aces my pitching categories have actually gotten better. To me you can always find pitching on the Waiver Wire if you know what your doing, you aint finding Jimmy Rollins who I traded for on the Waiver Wire. GO GET YOUR OFFENSE GUYS!!

  29. SaltyBiscuits says:

    Hello Friends!

    Please rank the following “doubtfielders”:

    Hideki Matsui
    Brad Hawpe
    Josh Willingham
    Jay Bruce
    Vernon Wells

    And a razzy evening to you all.

  30. BSA says:

    @Grey: Now that’s funny.

  31. BSA says:

    Any guesses where Grey will put Bruce? Hideki post DL?

  32. SaltyBiscuits says:

    @BSA: Yeah, I put Bruce in there to make sure it is the real Grey and not an impostor giving me advice, as we all know where Grey will slot the Bruciest Jay on the block

    Yes, Hideki post DL.

  33. Joe says:

    Grey, how do you like Buchholz if he gets called up? Roto Professor reckons it may be this weekend.

  34. BSA says:

    Carried over from “Myers” –
    Are we at the point with Figgins of tossing him aside? I was afraid of this as he was on and off the DL. Now what is he 0 for 20+. Can’t steal bases if your not on them.

    I think I am letting go of Bruce and Figgins for Liriano and Gordon. Both Bruce and Figgins are sitting on my bench.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: Hawpe, Willingham, Wells, Matsui, Bruce — first three are close, second 2 are too.

    @Joe: Could be this weekend, I’m not messing with him. I’d prefer Randy Wolf in Petco.

    @BSA: Yes, make those two moves.

  36. Joe says:

    DeJesus with another homer on his return tonight as well, what’s your thoughts on him Grey? Do you like him better than Butler? For some reason i keep ignoring him even though he’s been hot for quite some time now, and i drafted him last year. He’s back in the FA pool in my league after being added and dropped several times.

  37. BSA says:

    @Steve: Off Van meatball pitch.

  38. BSA says:

    Jesus Van Meatball Means Homer, Bruce is reading Razzball while in the outfield.

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Joe: I like Butler’s upside better, but DeJesus could be more valuable, if that makes sense. If you want the more exciting, you go Butler. If you want the boring/productive, go DeJesus. I tend to think it’s better to go upside when you’re that deep, hence Butler.

    @BSA: Quite the pitching matchup going on there.

  40. Steve says:

    Sorry guys – keep getting lost on the old Myers post.

    Just offered up Street for Guillen. They came back wanting Saito. My SS is Renteria/Kepp so need the upgrade. My other closers are Street (obviously), Rivera, Mikey G with Bucholz and Zumaya hovering. I’m relievers-only so want to keep a minimum of 3.

    What say you Razzballers?

  41. BSA says:

    On CBS read the “glog”-whatever that is?. Talking about what a great pitching match up it is. I’m thinking sell Bruce tonight – 8:15 EST Bruce’s value is the highest it has been in weeks.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I don’t like Guillen. For Street, I’d do it, but I’d look to trade with someone else.

    @BSA: re: Bruce’s value is high so trade — I think that’s a good idea.

  43. Steve says:

    @Grey: How about Street for Y Escobar (the other guy has him too)?

  44. Who should I drop so I can activate Big Z from the DL?

    Jerry Hairston, Michael Bourn, Chris Davis, Wandy Rodriguez, or Randy Wolf?

  45. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Yeah, I like that better.

    @Freak: Um, all of them? Just messin’ — Hairston.

  46. Steve says:

    @Grey: Thanks. Out of interest, what don’t you like about Guillen that you wouldn’t do Saito? Don’t disagree necessarily, just interested.

  47. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Renteria’s a hot streak away from Guillen’s level, not worth trading Saito for that.

  48. Steve says:

    @Grey: Fair call. Gonna do Street for Yunel.

  49. wakeNbake says:

    Chris Davis is that dude!!

  50. BigFatHippo says:

    Ok this is gonna sound stupid but maybe somebody can help me out. If you can I’ll be forever in your debt.

    Just went from Dish network to cable at my house. Trying to program tv in my room. Every time I try to auto program the channels it turns the add/erase to erase and erases them all.

    I’ve tried to do it manually and when I switch to the next channel the add/erase switches to erase.

    I’m about to shove my foot through the tv, please stop me.

    I know I should have submitted this in the forum but need answers now, roommate playing video games, need baseball……………..

  51. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Steve: @Baron Von Vulturewins: THE BRUCE IS LOOSE.

    Two donks tonight, and it’s only the 7th inning…..

    Haters be prepared to pay penance.

  52. Steve says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Haven’t dropped him yet! Just traded for Street for Y Escobar, so if anyone’s making room for Gordon it’s Renteria or Keppinger now.

  53. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: Bruce, Hawpe, Bruce, Bruce, Wells, Bruce, Matsui, Bruce, Bruce on a bad day, Bruce hitting from the right side, Willingham, Bruce all tired out after pleasuring yo mama, Bruce, Bruce, punt.

    He’s learning….

  54. BSA says:

    This is the last thing I thought I would be reading when I hit refresh. Classic.
    My only thing to offer is that there is probably something as simple as your incoming single. Do you think the guy left without sending the signal to the house? If there are no channels to program that tells me no signal.
    OK back to it……

    Grey, count this as one vote for Dr. Seuss to be the entry of the week.

  55. BigFatHippo says:



    I can’t take no baseball Sam I Am.
    Not in a boat, not with a goat. I do not like life without baseball, I do not like it Sam I Am.

    Get signal to the tv in living room, hooked directly from there into the bedroom. Can’t program tv.
    Frustrated? I’m about to throw my firstborn though the tv, but he’s bigger than me and playing video games with my roommate while laughing in my general direction.

    I’d throw my secondborn through it but I can’t catch him, he’s fast like marsupial.

  56. Endless Summer says:

    Congrats and thanks to you guys at the halfway point. I don’t think that says it all though. How can I express my gratitude and thanks in razzball fashion?

    I’m as happy as Andruw Jones in AAA, wreaking havoc on Las Vegas buffets.

  57. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Dooode, I’m computer-stupid. I’m sorry. I called Time Warner one time and the gist of what they told me is “Put batteries in your remote.”

    @BSA: Maybe I’m having a general stupid problem, but I have no idea what one vote for Dr. Seuss means. Give me a comment number.

    @Endless Summer: Ha

  58. BigFatHippo says:


    Dr Seuss is my new name in the RCL. You really had to be there to appreciate it. Thank p0rk for that every chance you get.

  59. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Oh… Gotcha! (Really have no idea. Slowly backing out of this thread.)

  60. wakeNbake says:

    Dustin McGowan is a waste of space

  61. wakeNbake says:

    Only because I kno u hate him Grey……Big A.J. 2HR!!

  62. BigFatHippo says:


    Good idea, get out while you can.

    You don’t wanna know what goes on in the RCL.

    The current discussion involves a Dirty Sanchez, The Stranger and a Romulo Sanchez. And apparently Barons girlfriend isn’t into that, they broke up.

  63. Zebo says:

    @Grey: Drop Aviles for Chris Davis? I need power, and my Yunel is back now.

  64. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: pretty damn funny when taken out of context.

  65. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Of course it involves Romulo Sanchez, why wouldn’t it?

    @Zebo: Yeah, I’d do that.

Comments are closed.