Carl Crawford left yesterday’s game with a sore shoulder. He first felt discomfort on Wednesday. In the locker room, here’s how Carl explained it, “You don’t want to feel that pain like that… I’ve never really had nothing like that before… It locked up real bad.” Now this sounds terrible, right? Okay, here’s how Crawford finished, “I think it should be a day-to-day thing.” Wait, what? You don’t want to feel pain like that… It locked up real bad… It’s fine. Oh, okay. This sounds like when my grandmother would talk about how she can’t see or walk, then she’d go play mah jong. You don’t need to see, the tiles’ engravings are raised. Guess we’ll have to take Crawford’s word for it that this is a minor injury and he’ll only miss a day or two. In the meantime, the Rays called on Joyce to sow Carl’s oats. Matt Joyce had a line of .316/.460/.556 in the minors this year with two homers in the last week. Last year, he had 16 homers and 14 steals in Triple-A. He’d be a very interesting name if the Rays weren’t so stacked. There’s really no way he gets every day ABs unless Crawford goes to the DL. In AL-Only leagues, it’s worth the flyer, but elsewhere I’d wait to see how often he plays. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into today’s roundup, frequent commenter and all-around Razzthusiast, Chase, wanted to share something. Chase, “Two years ago one of my best friends, Joey Rippel, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. At one point he had a tumor that covered half of his chest. Luckily, he recovered after months of chemotherapy. Joey founded a non-profit organization called, The Rippel Effect, to help those like himself. The website is The Rippel Effect and it would be appreciated if you were to check it out and help any way you can.” Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
B.J. Upton – Hit his 7th homer yesterday and has 23 steals on the year while batting .231. In a non-scientific poll I conducted with myself, I get more questions about selling B.J. low than any other player. Grab Aviles for your junky MI spot and together you’d have a .267 average. Not to mention, Upton can raise his average before the year’s over. No one seems to hate Andre Ethier and he has 1 steal. 1 steal and a .231 average are equally bad. Why is it that people hate low average guys? It’s one category. There should be a glossary term for this myopic view of average.
Matt Garza – 8 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Best start for him in over a month and a nice bounce back from his last wet noodle start.
Mike Lowell – Heads to the DL. The only Lowell in Massachusetts this year is still 40 minutes NE of Boston.
Dustin Pedroia – 5-for-5, 4 Runs, 5 RBIs, 3 homers. Struck Coors Extra Gold as Massholes everywhere reached for Sammy A.
Huston Street – 1 IP, 2 ER. I’d say Kazaam, but by the time Tracy names him the closer he’s going to be injured again.
Josh Hamilton – 3-for-4 with a steal, after revealing that he sat out on Wednesday with a tight hamstring. I’m waiting for this trade deadline deal… We have breaking news today out of Texas. In a move that could very well push them over the top in this year’s pennant chase, the Rangers purchased 8 hamstrings. The hamstrings are said to be in near-mint condition and will be distributed to Cruz, Kinsler, Hamilton and Vlad. Going the other way in the trade, Matt Treanor. When the guy who sold the hamstrings was asked about what he was going to do with Matt Treanor. He said, “Sell him for parts.”
Will Venable – 2-for-3 with a steal. Was actually going to pick him up for yesterday’s short schedule day, but didn’t. Sonavawaivers!
Everth Cabrera – In a deep league, I got excited that EverCab’s coming off the DL today because I need steals, then about 17 seconds later I remembered it’s EverCab. He’s the Chinese food of middle infielders.
Jesus Feliciano – 3-for-5 with 2 Runs as Jesus filled in for Angel. By Saturday, the Pope will be out in center.
Carlos Beltran – The Mets crack me up. Beltran has been out since like 1964 with this knee injury. Today, the Mets said Beltran could be activated by this Monday. How do you go from not playing for over a year to only rehabbing for four days? Meet the Mets, same as the old mess.
Armando Benitez – But no one can beat the Marlins when it comes to wacky organizations. The Marlins signed Armando Benitez, who hasn’t pitched since 2008. Is this like when Nomar signed a one day deal with the Red Sox so he could retire or is this serious?
Jason Castro – 2-or-3 and his first home run. Let the questions commence about whether you should own Napoli, Suzuki, Santana, Posey, Buck or Castro.
Felipe Paulino – To the 15-day DL with shoulder tendinitis. Why couldn’t the tendinitis gods take Brian Moehler? Wait, this will mean a rotation spot for Bud Norris. Paulino who? Norris is basically the same pitcher. Wild, poor run support and great Ks. NL-Only leagues should grab Norris.
Wandy Rodriguez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’d say it’s nice to see the old Wandwagon back on the tracks, but last year he would’ve K’d 8 guys, not 3.
Austin Jackson – 0-for-4. His average has dropped 75 points in the last month. Where’s all the people who were saying they were naming their firstborn Jackson and moving to Austin when I was saying to sell him? These people always disappear.
Brandon Morrow – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. I could say he’s in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but that would be a lie. If I said he was in a Buy/Sell in May, that would be true. Owned in only 12% of ESPN leagues, which is baffling. Unless you play in a 4×4 league, there’s no reason a guy who has 92 Ks in 84 innings should be on waivers.
Vernon Wells – 2-for-4, 2 homers. I point out a lot of correct calls I make, so it’s only fair I mention that I figured Wells would’ve went back to oblivion or the DL about a month ago. Can’t figure out those 1927 Blue Jays.
Adam Lind – 2-for-4 with his 9th homer. I’m not saying he’s going to do this, but if he hits 7 homers in the next two weeks, which he can, you’ll be glad you were patient with him.
Adam Jones – 3-for-5 and a homer. Sticking with the struggling Adam theme…. Well, actually, this Adam is no longer struggling. He’s hitting almost .450 over the last week with 3 homers. Could still easily reach preseason projections of 27/15.
Matt Cain – 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER. Just rip that ERA Band-Aid off and expose your scabby FIP.
Yovani Gallardo – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks. As usual, I wish I owned him. YoGa, why do you stress me out?
Prince Fielder – 1-for-4 with his 14th homer and his 29th RBI. He now trails Jose Reyes by only one RBI. Fielder’s HR to RBI ratio is almost as obscene as Marmol’s K to IP ratio. Only Fielder’s is the bad kind of obscene. There is a good kind of obscene, right?
Gavin Floyd – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks. He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell even if I have to push lip grooming until after it’s written.
Felix Hernandez – 9 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. As I watched this game, I got the feeling that even if F-Her pitched for 15 innings he wouldn’t get the win. Dismantle the Mariners March 15-30th dynasty!
Matt Stairs – This has no bearing on anything, but gave me a chuckle. Bud Black said Stairs isn’t ready to return because “he hasn’t been able to run with intensity.” He can drink a beer with intensity. He can grow a mustache with intensity. He can probably take a crap with intensity. If you’re waiting for Stairs to run with intensity, my guess is it will be a long wait.