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Snap, snap, claw, claw, save.  That’s The Save Vulture Dance.  Snap, snap, claw, claw, save…  Sing it like it’s The Electric Slide.  The save vulture is a scavenger bird.  They see weakness in others’ misfortune.  A closer goes down or struggles and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff.  Peck, Jim Johnson, peck.  Peck, Joel Peralta, peck-peck.  The save vultures are indigenous to rural and metropolitan areas, especially if there’s an injury.  Goodbye, Brian Wilson.  Hello, Sergio Romo, Santiago Casilla and Jeremy Affeldt.  Save vultures have trouble reproducing because they’re usually overweight guys who would prefer to listen to sports news than what the girl they’re dating is talking about.  “How does my manicure look?”  “Very pretty, Manny Acosta.”   “Did you just call me, Manny Acosta?”  “No.”  Joakim Soria has tightness in his hamstring; the save vulture has limberness in its loins that only Greg Holland can satiate.  If you need closers, there’s quite a few of them out there right now.  There’s also quite a few that you can drop.  Member when you were my closer, Fernando Salas?  Fernando Salas, “I don’t know who you are and why are you sitting on my couch in the dark?”  Doesn’t matter cause I just dropped you for Jason Motte and it felt great.  Snap, snap, claw, claw, save…  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Lonnie Chisenhall – Why don’t you pick up Lonnie Chisenhall?  Afraid of success?  That’s what your ex-wife would say.

Brent Morel – Has 4 homers in the last week with one of them coming off Porcello in a battle of the mushrooms that had the Smurfs gasping.

Juan Francisco – I went over my Juan Francisco fantasy the other day.  I wrote it while huffing grape-scented magic markers.

Omar Infante – If I was teammates with Infante, I’d be like, “What’s up, Toddler?!”  Then he’d be like, “It’s Infante, not Infant-e.”  “That’s cool, Toddler!”  He’d probably hate me.  It’s a’ight, I usually hate him, but right now he’s hitting (.346 in the last week).

Paul Goldschmidt – I’ll probably go all in with Goldschmidt next year, but he’s still a little raw.  To put that in Hell’s Kitchen-speak, if you’re owning Goldschmidt now, you’re probably walking with scallops about a minute early.

Derrek Lee – Back in the 50′s, when Lee was particpating in “Duck and Cover” drills, I wonder how he used to get under the desk.  Any the hoo!  He’s hitting, so there’s that.

Ryan Raburn – He hit two homers this week, and, yeah, I have a hard time trusting him too.  Appropriate his name contains ‘burn’ cause he’s done it to me a bunch of times.

Dee Gordon – Over the last week, he’s looked pretty lost at the plate but he could steal 5 bases this weekend.  It’s like that old joke; you own Gordon cause you need the eggs.

Marco Scutaro – He’s been hitting the cover off the ball Roy Hobbs-style.  Though, hitting the cover off the ball Marco Scutaro-style means one homer and a couple of doubles.

Jon Jay – Even before the Holliday injury, Jay was starting and hitting.  Jon Jay Jingleheimer Schmidt is my fifth outfielder and can be your fifth outfielder too.

Allen Craig – Now he should get extra playing time because of Holliday’s injury.  He reminds me of the best and worst of Infante.  Cute, but peeing in your face when you change his diaper.

Drew Pomeranz – (Or Matt Moore or Brad Peacock or Shelby Miller or any other top pitching prospect.)  These adds are more for dynasty and keeper leagues.  As for other starters at this time of year, they’re all either addable or droppable depending on their matchups.  If you want some under 50% owned starters, look at my borderline fantasy starter post from yesterday.

Wilin Rosario – The Rockies moved on from Iannetta.  In Double-A, Rosario had 21 homers in 426 plate appearances and only walked 19 times.  Sounds like the Rockies found themselves Miguel Olivo Jr.  I will now call you Miguelito, The Tiny Olive.  I wouldn’t run out and add Rosario outside of NL-Only keepers and deep two catcher leagues.

SELL

Adam Jones – Hey, he’s making himself undervalued for next year.  We can appreciate that, right?

Nelson Cruz – He might start, uh, starting games tomorrow or Sunday.  Then he might sit for a day, start, sit, etc. etc. etc.  If you have room to switch him back and forth from your bench, then you hold him.  Otherwise, I want someone I can trust to play.

Kevin Youkilis – Youuuuuuuk looks like puuuuuuke.

Mark Reynolds – He’s in one of his 6 for 40 stretches that makes you want to reconsider your Mini Donkey tattoo.  Or at least it does for me.  Stupid permanent ink.

Carlos Quentin – Ozzie’s currently infatuated with De Aza and Viciedo, which is fine by me.  I’m not hatin’, I’m statement statin’.

81 Responses

  1. The Spaceman says:
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    @Grey

    Dug that intro today Grey, nice stuff man!

    Which Pirate to spot start this weekend @LAD; Lincoln or McDonald?

    Enjoy the weekend good sir,

    The Spaceman

  2. Wake Up says:
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    battle of the mushrooms…well played!

  3. Waldo says:
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    Hey Grey — Keeper question. I can keep three of the following for my 15th, 16th, and 17th round picks next year. Which three do you like best?

    Montero
    Viciedo
    Beachy
    Shields
    Chacin
    Dee Gordon
    Moustakas

    Thanks amigo.

  4. mauledbypandas says:
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    Just wanted to say thanks for all your hard work Grey! Always appreciated

  5. LT says:
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    Hi Grey – again thanks. Next week last game H2H -12 day schedule. Rank these hitters

    Bay
    De Aza
    Chisenhall
    Ryan Rayburn
    Jon Jay

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @LT: Chisenhall, Jay, Bay…

  7. Wilsonian says:
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    Currently rolling pretty weak with Castro at SS and Tulo hurting. Desmond is on waivers, so I can’t get him until Sunday. Do I stick with Castro or pick up either Furcal, Pennington, Gordon, Infante, A. Gonzalez until I can get Desmond?

  8. El Famous Burrito says:
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    @Grey

    I’m heading into the final stretch with a nice lead in a roto league I’ve been trying to win for 3 years, and its all thanks to your advice.

    Just want to say thanks. It has been a fun year.

    We laughed together…we creid together…we cursed out Ryan Raburn together.

  9. Racehorse says:
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    Grey,

    Sticking with the 2012 theme from the previous thread, rank Freese, Frazier, Carp, Smoak, JD Martinez.

    Thanks, and have a great weekend, Hoss!

  10. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Racehorse: Smoak, Carp, Freese… Thanks, you too, ‘horse.

  11. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: just curious, why Pennington over Infante?

  12. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Wilsonian: He hit a homer yesterday and can steal more bases. Go with Infante if you want, not that big of a difference.

  13. Dan says:
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    Grey,

    Thanks first of all from taking a team that has been two games under .500 over the past 7 years and turning it into a team about to go 18-5 heading into the league championship game next week.

    I’m nervous about Youk at 3rd for the championship week. We can only set our lineup once a la fantasy football. Chisenhall, Morel and Infante are all available and eligble at 3rd. Which one should I grab for insurance?

    Thanks.

  14. Blunted says:
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    @Grey: Should I dump Cruz and A-Rod (and maybe even Crawford and Wright…or hell…anyone else)?

    Here’s the problem…I have a pretty huge lead in HRs and RBI, but am 2nd overall in a two man race. The leader is only 0.5 points ahead and can gain a few points w/ only a handful of each HR/RBI, so I’ve been holding those guys to block him and b/c I thought they might come back and contribute. I am trailing the next guy in SB by 13, a margin I probably can’t make up in 12 days (though I guess it’s possible) and I desperately need BA help.

    Lineup is currently: Napoli, Teixeira, Cano, Andrus, Wright, Ellsbury, Victorino, Crawford, Lawrie, De Aza (then A-Rod and Cruz)

    FAs include: Willingham, Joyce, Hosmer, Bourjos, D.Gordon, Scutaro, Franscisco, Pennington, Chisenhall, Goldschmidt, Bourgeois, Presley, Revere, EY Jr., Angle, Reimold, Gentry (last few only listed for potential SAGNOFs)

    Not sure what to do…leaning towards dumping both A-Rod and Cruz and picking up a couple speedsters hoping they can net me a bunch of steals, or hold tight to block leader (w/ #1 waiver) from using them the last 10 days, or maybe something I haven’t thought of.

    I know this is a long one, but I appreciate the help. Thanks for all you do. This site has become the #1 place I look for daily insight, so thanks for that.

  15. AnotherFalstaff says:
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    @Grey – Long time no preguntas. In a dogfight for my H2H championship thanks in large part to your advice. Need to pick two out of these four two-starters: Luebke (LA[Kershaw] – @COL), Chacin (SD – @SF), Minor (@FLA – @WAS), or Nova (TB – @TB). Thanks for all of your help this season!

  16. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Dan: Awesome… Chisenhall

    @Blunted: No problem… You didn’t really mention where you can get points other than steals and BA, so I guess lose A-Rod and Cruz for Gordon and Pennington…

    @AnotherFalstaff: Minor and Chacin…

  17. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    Grey:10 team 8×8….better start tonight?

    Crawford vs TB(Shields)

    Fowler vs SF(Bumgarner)

  18. C.O.C. says:
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    @Grey: It looks as though I may be going to the finals (thanks to razzball, of course) in my 16 team H2H league, but I will be gone camping Mon-Thur of next week, at a place where I will have no cell phone reception. Therefore, I will not be able to ask you this when I set my lineup early Monday morning: With the extended scoring period, I’m not sure which pitchers will be effected by their teams playoff contention (Beckett comes to mind), and if it is more worthwile to start a guy like Hughes with two starts over a guy like Beachy with one. So, without listing all the matchups, I’ll give you my staff, of which I need 7:
    Lee
    Beckett
    Oswalt
    Romero
    D. Hudson
    Beachy
    E. Santana
    P. Hughes
    Colon
    Strasburg (not going to start him for sure)
    Minor

    Its for my 2nd consecutive championship with the last (16th) pick in the draft, so lots a smack will be talked if I win…..and thanks for the advice all year, I would pay for this site if I had to. After all, I’ve won a couple thousand potato chips over the last 2 seasons thanks to Razzball…..

  19. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Gardner now hitting .474 with 11 steals in 13 attempts vs the Jays this season.

  20. Wilsonian says:
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    Of course Reynolds hits a homerun tonight…of course he does…

  21. Mike says:
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    I see Grey put Mark Reynolds on his Sell list and I move quickly to put him in my lineup.

    Mini-Donkey’d!

  22. Mike says:
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    Oh, and I just saw it being reported that Joe Mauer is likely out for the rest of the season with pneumonia.

    If you went to Joe Mauer’s house, went into his basement, jack-hammered through the concrete, and started digging, what would be the under/over on number of feet you’d have to go down before you found the first dessicated Native American corpse. 3 feet? 4 feet? I mean that Indian Graveyard can’t be that far below the surface.

  23. Wilsonian says:
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    @Mike: HA! Very solid post…

  24. Wilsonian says:
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    If you could have one for the weekend: Casilla, Peralta, J.Johnson? We count Ks and Ks/9.

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Sorry, went to an early movie.

    @C.O.C.: Nice, hopefully you win. Lee, Beckett, Oswalt, Romero, D. Hudson, Beachy, E. Santana…

    @Mike: @Wilsonian: Of course.

    @Mike: Ha!

    @Wilsonian: J. Johnson? You mean Kelly? Kelly…

  26. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: I was referring to Jim Johnson. It was all relating to closers.

  27. Wilsonian says:
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    Random keeper question… If you had to keep one, who would it be: Alvarez, Moustakas, Kennedy, Kimbrel, Napoli, Konerko, Reynolds, Quentin, Morrison?

  28. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Wilsonian: Ha! I thought they were all MIs… Johnson…

  29. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: haha! I can see how it looked like MIs now. Oops. You still like Johnson in a Ks and Ks/9 league?

    You don’t worry about Konerko’s age? That’s the only thing that gets me.

  30. Ray says:
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    Need a util for the weekend (close in R RBI HR in my H2H matchup) ..Lonnie or Yankee Montero?

  31. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Wilsonian: Hmm… All right, go with Peralta. All tomato-tomahto really. Could go other ways, Konerko’s clearly the best of that group but he is old. Morrison or Moose would be my 2nd choices.

    @Ray: Lonnie…

  32. paulzone says:
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    need some end of year advice / input:

    pick two for sb/avg ROS: rickie weeks, reyes, ackley, de aza

    pick one for saves ROS: soria, johnson, peralta, melancon, parnell

    pick two for SP Holds ROS: howell, bass, mcclellan

    Rank for GIDP/whip/No losses ROS: garcia, harrison, leake

    Thanks Grey and I shouldn’t have to bother you again this season…Unless it is to thank you for advice when I win my league!!

  33. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @paulzone: Reyes, De Aza… Johnson… Howell, McClellan… Harrison, Garcia… Hopefully…

  34. paulzone says:
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    @Grey: i lied…given your responses…for 2b, weeks or ackley ROS (sb/avg again)…thanks.

  35. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Adam Lind is tired.

    Not so much in his body, he says, but in his mind. His first year of regular duty at a defensive position has taken a toll he could not have imagined in spring training.

    It has eroded his concentration and his productivity at the plate, the Toronto Blue Jays first baseman says. The experience has also taught him a vital lesson: Next year, he must do a better job of pacing himself through the grind of the long season.

    In spring training, Lind set a torrid workout pace, taking thousands of ground balls and infield throws, determined to silence the skeptics who thought he might be a defensive liability.

    http://sports.nationalpost.com/2011/09/17/lind-admits-regimen-made-him-feel-lethargic/

  36. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @VinWins: So we’re even, since I’m tired of him as well…

  37. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Ha! Don’t worry. Next year he’ll be better.

  38. Whiskey Diet says:
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    What’s really hood, G?

    Do you like Moose or Chisenhall as 3B insurance for Youk? Do I play him the rest of the way and lose Youk?

    Also, which spot start would you throw tomorrow if you had to?

    Lincoln @LAD
    Gee @Atl
    Esmil SF
    Hand @Was

    Thanks a bunch, Grey.

  39. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    Grey:better p/u for tommorow?….12 team 5×5

    Wang vs FLA

    Lincoln @ LAD

    wow,this post is just dripping w/ desperation.

  40. chata says:
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    @VinWins:

    lind sounds like the perfect example as to why old-schoolers prefer
    greenies over steroids .

  41. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    @chata: Ha. Speed was more important back then.

  42. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:
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    I knew I was making a mistake when I dropped Vazquez after the disaster Padres start. Problem is, I endured back to back disaster starts against the Padres from Nolasco and Vazquez.

    Bleh, kind of pointless to worry about, Morneau and Liriano in the 5th and 6th rounds is what killed me this year. Could have had Ellsbury and Verlander. Soto over Granderson probably didn’t help, either. Especially since Napoli went nine rounds later.

    *puke*

  43. Steve says:
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    Jesus f****** Christ. My matchup is about dead even, I’m tied in home runs and down 3 in rbi. Ryan f****** Howard has now left the bases full – TWICE. F***! Batting .100 for the week with one RBI. One!
    F***!

  44. Steve says:
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    And of course someone comes along behind him with the grand slam.
    Of course.

  45. Steve says:
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    Best chance for a win with good Ks tomorrow?
    Pavano v CLE
    Lincoln @ LAD
    Simon v LAA
    Wakefield v TB
    Rogers v SF
    Willis v MIL

  46. Nathan says:
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    So if I can just win the ERA catagory, I win my H2H matchup this week. My pitchers have already put WHIP, Wins, Ks out of reach. My opponent has Masterson and Matt Harrison going tomorrow. I can throw Beachy. Barring a meltdown from Ted Lilly tonight, I should go into tomorrow ahead in ERA.

    Do I need to start Beachy?

    Score is currently 3.84 to 3.92

  47. Steve says:
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    FFS. Kemp and Gordon a combined 4-8 but one measly run between them? Bollocks

  48. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    Grey:12 team points league….

    at this point,would it be best to drop R. Weeks and p/u Kipnis?

    also,could you rank these SP’s for the last wk?….

    Wolf @CHC,vs PIT

    Minor @FLA,@WAS

    Gomez vs CWS,@DET

    and also also….Bailey seems to give up runs at least every other appearance.drop him for Jim Johnson?

    thnks.

  49. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    @Oilcan Giuseppe: nevermind Kipnis.As I was posting the previous comment the guy who I am tied with,the guy who has been just slightly ahead of me most of the yr and has somehow managed to beat me to every single worthwhile rookie,hot shmotatoe and useful streamer actually grabbed Kipnis.

    the next best option I guess would be Infante.should I grab the toddler?

  50. peter says:
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    @Steve: I’m virtually tied w/ my opponent in R/HR/RBI/SB. Last night I use my last moves of the week to grab Alejandra de Aza and Reimold (in place of Holliday and a possibly concussed Reynolds). Neither are starting today. And I’m willing to be (our) Ryan Howard will be riding the pine tonight, too.

  51. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    As expected, Morrow throws 8 shutout innings vs the Yankees, and Lind hits 2 home runs.

  52. Steve says:
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    Some one get Kemp home here! I’m still alive!

  53. Steve says:
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    @Steve: Now someone get Gordon AND Kemp home!

  54. Steve says:
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    @Steve: Yeah baby!

  55. peter says:
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    @VinWins: Ha!

  56. peter says:
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    @Steve: Either we’re the same person or we have eerily similar fantasy teams.

  57. Steve says:
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    Someone get Murphy home!

  58. Steve says:
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    @Steve: Not you, Andrus.

  59. Steve says:
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    @Steve: Nooooo!

  60. Steve says:
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    Another dinger thanks, Kemp.

  61. Steve says:
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    @peter: This is unbearable. I’m up 7-5, but 31-30 in Runs, 8-7 in HR, 82-81 in Ks and .350-.341 in OBP.

    He has Freese and (gulp) Pujols to come and of course our good friend Ryan Howard is sitting.

  62. Steve says:
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    @Steve: And he has Mike Adams who’s just coming into the game. F***.

  63. Steve says:
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    @Steve: F*** you Mike Adams. 6-6 now.

  64. Steve says:
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    A Hundley pinch-hit HR here would help.

  65. Steve says:
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    Kemp’s put of the game? Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  66. Steve says:
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    So, Howard getting a cortisone shot in his ankle, out a few days. Who’s the add?

    D-Lee
    Loney
    Carp
    Duda
    Kotch

    H2H semi match-up is tied 6-6, but I own the tiebreaker. Just need Freese/Pujols to score one run or less and for neither to hit a home run. Piece of cake…

  67. Steve says:
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    @Steve: Jesus.

  68. Steve says:
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    Well, that’s that. The difference between the making the final and not?

    One strikeout.

    Sigh.

  69. RandomItalicizedVoice says:
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    ^^
    That was bizarre.

  70. Steve says:
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    @Grey: That’s one four-letter word to describe it.

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