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The A’s promoted Chris Carter.  Too bad Chris Carter wasn’t around when Mulder was pitching for the A’s.  Then they could’ve had Scully call the game.  Chris Berman looked at his stats and says, “All Chris Carter does is hit home runs!” which means he’ll kill your average, won’t steal bases, and probably won’t help your runs and RBIs.  Back in January, Chris Carter said this about playing with the A’s out of spring training, “I’m still thinking it’s my job to lose, basically.  It’s a business.  They want to win and make the team better.”  That isn’t as great a quote as, “Who are you, Karim Garcia?  I do not know you,” but it’s still pretty solid.  It’s like you go into a job interview and say, “If you want the burgers to get flipped right, I’ll get hired.  What, you want crap burgers?”  Unfortunately, Carter was in Make Believe Land hanging with the Easter Bunny.  It was not his job to lose.  In the preseason, I said, “This Chris Carter looks like Ryan Howard.  In every possible way.  He strikes out a lot.  He hits a lot of homers.  He talks to Turtle about tequila.  He weighs 230+ el-bees.  He stands six foot five.  He once finished off a grand slam 7 hours after the last pitch of a game thanks to Denny’s.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Further in my Chris Carter fantasy, I gave him the line of 35/22/55/.225/3 in 400 ABs and said he’d be called up on June 1st.  He missed a month of that, so now I’ll revise it to 30/17/40/.235.  I.e. great in AL-Only leagues, not so much in mixed leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Joe Mauer – Out with back stiffness.  Him and Morneau should be like Rene Russo and Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon.  Only instead of comparing battle scars, they show ailments.  “That’s no strained oblique!  This is a strained oblique!”

Jesus Montero – Was benched in the minor leagues for lack of enthusiasm.  Said teammate Judas Outlander, “Jesus thinks he walks on water.  Like he’s some sort of martyr for playing in Triple-A vs. being in the bigs.”

Michael Pineda – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Well, he’s supposed to regress.  Key words, supposed to.

Alex Presley – The king of Pirate prospects is being called up to DH next week.  Can’t imagine he sticks around longer than that because of the crowded outfield.  In NL-Only leagues, it’s worth a short term flyer.  He profiles like a 12/20 guy over the course of a season.  Hits and runs like McCutchen, looks more like McLovin’.

Brett Lawrie – The Jays announced he’s out until August.  Maybe they read Razzball because when he was first hurt I said he’d be out until August.  But I write my posts at a Holiday Inn Express.

Jemile Weeks – 1-for-3, 2 steals and hit leadoff.  Without you knowing, I quietly pulled back on my Weeks love earlier this week.  I also drank your milk straight from the carton.  My bad!  I did that with Weeks because I wasn’t sure where Ellis was going to play, but it looks like Weeks will continue to start even with Ellis returning.  You now have my permission to fall backwards into Jemile’s arms.  He’ll catch you.

Chris Capuano – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Feliz Capuano’s!  That’s for the title of the post about Capuano that is never going to happen because he’ll never warrant it.  In Metco, for the right matchups, in H2H leagues where your stats are erased every week… Okay.  But that’s real tentative.  He’s really nothing but a high WHIP, low 4 ERA pitcher.  It’s nothing terrific.

David Wright – Cleared to resume baseball activities.  What are his special skills, Microsoft Word, Powerpoint and bubble blowing?  Oh, resume to start again…Not as in curriculum vitae.  I’ll believe it when I see it with the Mets.  His value the day before he returns might be his peak value for the rest of the season, but I guess I’ll cover that right before he returns.

Tim Lincecum – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks.  Rudy and I just got Lincecum in a trade for Marmol.  It was sent to us.  I’m not sure the virtual paint dried on the trade before I signed off on it.

Juan Miranda – Hit his 7th home run yesterday.  I’ll give this to the Diamondbacks.  They really give their guys a chance to succeed or fail.  Shoot, they gave Stephen Drew four years.  Miranda’s someone to watch closely in case he gets hot.  Great park, decent talent.  He will be an average liability.

Roy Oswalt – 2 IP, 4 ER and pulled from the game with lower back stiffness.  He had back issues earlier this year.  He should wear some support under his overalls!  Five schmools says he’s headed to the Disgraceful List.

Roger Bernadina – 1-for-4, he’s gonna be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  It’s a real barn burner!  I hope I live past Friday, but if I don’t, this afternoon’s Buy/Sell won’t be a bad note to go out on.  Sorta like Crimes and Misdemeanors for Woody Allen.  (Um, Grey, Woody Allen’s still alive and making movies.)  Parentheticals just don’t understand.

Jason Marquis – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  You’re probably wondering why I’m even mentioning Marquis.  Well, there was only five games yesterday.  It’s the type of day where a dedicated fantasy baseball blogger can take his time when he masturbates.  “Tell me, Scott Podsednik’s wife, does it impress you that I drafted your husband when he stole 70 bases?  Does it?!”

Jim Riggleman – Abruptly resigned as the Nats got over .500 and won 11 of their last 12.  He probably figured this was his best chance of going out on top.  It’s like Costanza leaving the room on a joke.  “We won 11 out of the last 12.  Thank you!  Good night!”

From Around The Web

  1. SGV barfly says:
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    @grey. what are your thoughts about D. holland at this point in the season. i see he has a nice run of starts coming up ( Mets, Marlins, Oakland, and at Seattle)

  2. Chris Partlow says:
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    i see carter draws a lot of BB in minors but that might just be a product of having someone bad hitting behind him.

    Bernadina or Carter or Thames in OBP league?
    why didn’t you put Thames in your report?

  3. Bré Jus says:
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    I’l’ waive my Miranda rights, thank you…

    @grey
    @everyone

    When are they bringing up Paul Goldschmit?! With a name like that he can’t fail…

  4. KCC26 says:
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    i was just offered corey hart for todd helton. never a huge hart fan and hes not running much (or successfully) these days. accept anyways for the upside?

  5. Tourinct says:
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    McLovin? Jimmy gonna be upset.

  6. BlinkULDHC says:
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    Should I trade Alex Rios for Alex Avila?

    As of right now, I have zero catchers on my roster because I dropped Arencibia in order to pick up Brennan Boesch.

    My OF is Kemp, McCutchen, Bruce. My 1B is Albert Pujols, when healthy.

    I have two UTIL spots to fill, and the four candidates are Mike Stanton, Mike Morse, Boesch and Alex Rios. Pujols is on the DL, therefore Morse is at 1B — leaving Stanton, Boesch and Rios for the two UTIL spots. Should I just trade Rios for Avila?? I’ll probably have to drop Rios or Boesch to pick up a catcher via free agency anyway.

  7. BlinkULDHC says:
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    Oh, and this is also where Grey says I’m obsessed with Morse this year.

  8. Howard says:
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    @Grey Does Rubby take his love to town today vs LAA?

  9. Tommyr says:
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    I would have used Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw, but it is your blog, not mine.

  10. BlinkULDHC says:
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    Btw, who in the hell writes for Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball Player “News & Notes”?

    Here’s their write-up on Carlos Pena:

    “Pena is a must-start in fantasy at this point. This power tear, plus the fact that he is a year removed from a 50 home run season, is too inviting to even care about his batting average.”

    Never mind the “Pena is a must-start” assessment — how does the writer figure that Pena had a 50-HR season at any point in his career? He even had the gall to call it “fact.” This is not a matter of fact-checking, it’s a matter of pure ignorance.

    Yeah, a casual baseball fan here and there may think that Pena has had a 50-HR season (and/or confuse Pena w/ Jose Bautista)…But if your job is to write the fantasy analysis for baseball players, it should be within your memory and recall that Pena has NEVER had a 50 HR season. Ever.

    Kind of like the facts that Ichiro has never had a 70-SB season or Pujols has never won the Triple Crown — the kind of feats that seem remotely feasible but are generally known to not have been achieved by said players.

    It’s scary that this kind of terrible sports writing and journalism appears on a site as frequently-visited as Yahoo. It really just crushes the integrity and trustworthiness of every other piece of fantasy baseball analysis on the site.

  11. Old Rungo says:
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    I hate how you made me lookup if Judas Outlander was a real baseball player….

  12. Salty Balty says:
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    Thoughts on Jhoulys Chacin for Carlos Quentin . . .

  13. joe says:
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    Tommy Hanson was dropped. I obviously try to get him, no? I do have DL space..

  14. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: this is a continuation from my questions last night about acquring a 2nd baseman. So he countered me with his Espinosa/Venters for my Tabata/Hanrahan.

    This would be my team: Olivo, Gaby, Espinosa, J. Weeks, McGehee, Andrus, Hamilton, McCutchen, Quentin, Heyward, Hardy, Napoli – DL; Lester, Marcum, Kennedy, Gio, Kuroda, Lewis, Cueto, Kimbrel, Walden, Venters (I’m also trying to pick up Bernadina when Yahoo updates their waivers – he comes off on the 24th, last time I checked it was the 24th)

    Again, we count: H, R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG., OBPS, W, L, SV, K, ERA, WHIP, Ks/9

    Fair deal? Good deal for me?

  15. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @joe: yes,get him

  16. Kyuss says:
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    16-team h2h dynasty league, which side do you take?

    Miguel Cabrera or Greinke/Lind/Rios

    My other 1b is Smoak.

  17. Brandon says:
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    @joe: He should start next Tues…. Get him. Now.

  18. elwood blues says:
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    Ok, so I don’t think I can wait out the owner of Wigginton for my 2nd base option.

    I’m now looking at Uggla and K.Johnson from 2 teams looking to dump salary.. who do you like? NL Only 4×4 keeper.

    Uggla, right? I think his power should be fine, I worry his avg. will still be a problem. K-Johnson isn’t exactly lighting it up, either.

    I would have to deal prospects like Parker, Norris, among others.

  19. KeeblerMN says:
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    What’s the over/under for AB’s Big Papi will see during interleague play? Do you have to sit him in daily line ups?

  20. Myyyyyyy Kuroda says:
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    Start Cahill this weekend vs Philly?? Still don’t trust him much after his recent stretch. 16-team H2H

    Thanks

  21. Chris says:
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    Whats up Grey –

    Auction keeper league. Trade away Uncle Cliffy ($22) and Cueto ($5) get back McCutchen, Hanrahan, and Kuroda. If I have a strong pitching staff already, the trigger has to be pulled here, right?

    Thanks man

  22. Luke T says:
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    Is riggleman just an asshole that replaced the shaving cream with shit (poor jayson nix), or is this warrented because he didnt get his extension? If i were a player i would never want to play for this guy.

    You were right about oswalt, his back was probably never healed since his first dl stint. Does he have any trade value? I really cant stand him right now.

  23. Dad says:
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    @Grey: Any reason to hesitate trading Werth and Ian Kennedy for CarGo or Braun?

    PS. That Lincecum/Marmol trade is absurd – especially bc it fell in your lap.

  24. Benson says:
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    Blackmon or Bourgeois for weekly 5×5 roto? I can’t figure out Bourgeois playing time situation, but he seems to be playing every day again.

  25. busta says:
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    H2H 12 team points league favoring power bats – got offered glass chipper for my swisher. I’m starting Moustakas at 3b and have p.alvarez on dl, start 3 OF (Kemp,Pence,JUpton). I have concerns (like everyone else) about chipper’s durability.

  26. Adam says:
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    @Dad:

    One of the most lopsided trades I’ve ever seen. Braun/Cargo by a HUGE margin. Werth stinks.

  27. DHill Dragons says:
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    @Luke T: It all depends where the truth lies. If what Jim is saying is accurate and he was asking to have a discussion about his option and he was denied multiple times by the GM, then the GM is the a-hole.

    However, if what the GM is saying is true and Jim gave him an ultimatum to pick up his option today or I walk, then Riggleman is the a-hole.

  28. theguarantee says:
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    @Anyone – My Reynolds and Beachy for his Holliday? Would leave me with McGehee at third and a bit thin on pitching. Could possibly ask for a solid middle reliever like Clippard or Adams to sweeten the pot.

  29. Lance Berkman says:
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    Wow no mention of me even on a dead Thursday with about 4 games playing. If I went 0-5 with 5 k’s to drop my average to .191 on the season would I have gotten mentioned? Sure I would’ve…something like “I told you to avoid him in the preseason and I was right. Here’s a prediction that I actually nailed “blah blah blah blah.” I guess it’s not as fun to mention guys that you don’t own and didn’t pump up in the preseason. I really wish you had predicted big things from him this year…then we could’ve rejoiced together as you told the cyber-world daily how smart you are. Instead I’m sad =(

    “line drives are down (literally!), ground balls are up (not literally!) and fly balls are down (literally!).  St. Louis isn’t going to help turn around his career slide.  Sorry.  2011 Projections:  65/20/75/.270/5″

    And that’s me quoting the mustache

  30. MattW says:
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    @Grey: @AL KOHOLIC:

    Does bundling Wright with any of these pitchers get me Verlander in a 12 team H2H league?

    Beachy
    J. Zimm
    Beckett
    Oswalt
    I. Kennedy
    Cueto

  31. Bernie Brewer says:
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    @Grey: Desperate for 2B help (16 team mixed…not a lot of options on the wire). I have SP depth (Hamels, Cain, Jimenez, A. Sanchez, J. Sanchez, Zimmermann, Bedard). Would giving up A. Sanchez be too much to acquire H. Kendrick to play 2B?

  32. Eddy says:
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    Wow, way to make out with Lincy on that trade.

    Huh?

    Oh, no, not that type of making out. I know, it’s easy to confuse with the long hair and all.

  33. DHill Dragons says:
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    More proof that you don’t need to focus your early draft picks on pitching.

    After my draft I was concerned that pitching was my weakness. I left the draft with: Liriano, Scherzer, Dempster, Lackey, Gio, Lilly

    Since the draft I have acquired via waivers and/or trade: Pineda, Cueto, Beachy, Carpenter, Bumgarner, Norris, Ogando (waivers) & Ubaldo, Sabathia (trades).

    My current staff is: Sabathia, Ubaldo, Liriano, Cueto, Carpenter, Gio, Scherzer

    Currently available via waivers: Oswalt, Bumgarner, Billingsley, Nolasco, Dempster, Lilly, Norris, Baker, Beachy, Matusz, Zambrano, Peavy

    You just don’t have hitters constantly available of the quality that I just listed with starting pitchers. Luckily because I waited on pitching I was able to load up on these hitters:

    Braun, Kemp, McCutchen, Bruce, Youkilis, Longoria, Utley, Santana, Alexei

    I also got lucky with a few upside picks like Starlin and Morse

    All in all, I’m very happy add/dropping a pitcher about once a week and have a loaded roster of hitters from a strong draft.

    Long story short, thanks Grey for your fantasy insight. You’re my first site visited every morning over breakfast.

  34. Wilsonian says:
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    @Bernie Brewer: I just dealt Kendrick in a 16 Team H2H League for Kuroda. He was the best I could get. I’d say Anibal is a little too much.

  35. Wilsonian says:
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    @Wilsonian: any commenters feel free to check out that trade I was offered in comment #13. It’s a 16 Team H2H Keeper.

  36. Chupacabra says:
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    Time to ditch Oswalt?

  37. Black Beard says:
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    In a vacuum who would you stash in the DL spot, if you happened to have one? Only concerned with this year:

    B. Anderson, Furcal, Alvarez, or Broxton?

    Also, rest of the way, Tabata or D. Jennings?

  38. weas says:
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    Should I drop Oswalt? He sounds done.

  39. Eddy says:
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    @DHill Dragons:

    Definitely agree on the waiting for SP part, but you’re example is a bit generous considering that your league has to be 10 teams or lower with that available in your pool.

    But I get your point. Those who invested in Felix can’t be too thrilled with his recent starts. Out of the top 20 SP of this year’s rankings, I’d say 8-10 have lived up to their spots. Too volatile.

  40. Eddy says:
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    @Eddy:

    your*

  41. DHill Dragons says:
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    @Eddy: Yes, 10-team league. There seems to be an owner a week that grows tired of an underperforming pitcher and cuts ties. The key is finding the valuable pitcher that has been underperforming but is due for a better stretch ahead.

  42. Doug says:
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    Hows it goin Grey,

    12 team long term keeper. Dealt Arod for Beckett and Moustakas. I need pitching and have power (votto, joey bats, berkman, kemp). What do you think?

    Doug

  43. John Drunks says:
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    grey who do you like more RoS?

    Wandy or Ubaldo?

    Heyward or Beltran?

    thanks!

  44. Wilsonian says:
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    @DHill Dragons: I picked up Morrow, Beachy, Anibal, and a handful of closers in a small league like that. I drafted two big pitchers early in Verlander and Lincecum (we keep 5 players and I kept all bats), and then basically held tight until the middle rounds and got guys like Gio, D. Hudson, etc.

  45. Dad says:
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    @Adam: I think it’s a no-brainer, but Werth has finished the last 2 seasons ranked #19 & #33 overall in my leagues settings. Plus, his splits are better post-asb. Leaving the Phillies definitely hurt him though. Needless to say, Kennedy’s having a very good season. I don’t think either offer will get accepted, but I don’t think it’s insulting (you should see this kid’s SP staff (he’s down to 3 after injuries) and he’s somehow got Kemp, CarGo, Braun & Upton as outfielders.

  46. bostonguy says:
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    Has anyone looked at Jai Miller? I was convinced he would get the call up over Carter in Oakland. Has displayed some serious power potential this year and is hitting the crap out of the ball in AAA.

  47. joeyjoejoejrshabadoo says:
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    thoughts on giving choo and getting hosmer?

    fyi: i have a need at the INF spot, since i have carlos lee, (had) ike davis and justin morneau. hosmer can be kept as a 15th rounder.

    thx

  48. coco krispie says:
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    Grey,

    I’m above my innings projection and need to drop one of these guys, I don’t know what to make of them. Who to drop? 5×5 mixed 12 team.

    Dempster
    Peavy
    Colby Lewis

  49. slam says:
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    You liking Jemile more than Dee Gordon?

  50. Marqo says:
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    KEEPER LEAGUE:

    Bumgarner for Wainwright???

    I don’t have an Ace except for Sabathia.
    My SP: Sabathia, Hellickson, Bumgarner, Nolasco, Kennedy, Scherzer, CJ Wilson, Carrasco.

    As for now, I’d keep Sabathia, Hellickson, Kennedy, Wilson, Bumgarner!?

    So, what about the trade???

  51. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @SGV barfly: His home starts are scary.

    @Chris Partlow: Carter

    @Bré Jus: Ha

    @KCC26: It’s fair.

    @Tourinct: Ha

    @BlinkULDHC: Eh

    @Howard: Yup

    @Tommyr: Dreyfuss being anything than a wimp is kinda hard to believe.

    @BlinkULDHC: Ha! Wow.

    @Old Rungo: Hehe

    @Salty Balty: It’s fair.

    @joe: Yup

    @Wilsonian: Sounds solid.

    @Kyuss: Miggy

    @elwood blues: Uggla

    @KeeblerMN: Sure

    @Myyyyyyy Kuroda: Eh

    @Chris: It’s fair.

    @Luke T: Can try, not sure what you’re going to get now.

    @Dad: I’d take either. Yeah, I know.

    @Benson: Blackmon

    @busta: Take Chipper.

    @theguarantee: Holliday

    @Lance Berkman: I hate you, Lance Berkman.

    @MattW: Sure

    @Bernie Brewer: A bit…Try Jonathan first.

    @Eddy: Hehe

    @DHill Dragons: Cool, no problem.

    @Chupacabra: Eh

    @Black Beard: Broxton, Tabata…

    @weas: Hold for now.

    @Doug: I wouldn’t have done it, it’s okay.

    @John Drunks: Ubaldo, Heyward

    @bostonguy: Is that the guy from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy? Kidding…Yeah, has been hitting well. Hosmer is also the top rookie in baseball and look what he’s doing.

    @joeyjoejoejrshabadoo: Eh

    @coco krispie: You can’t wait a game or two until Peavy’s injured?

    @slam: Depends how badly you need steals, but he’s hitting better right now, yeah.

    @Marqo: Eh

  52. mwgris says:
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    If I have Youk at 3B, how does Wright and Pineda to receive CQ, Haren and Balfour (holds league) sound? Thank you.

  53. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: thanks man. It looked pretty solid to me, especially with the team it would leave me with. But I always like to get a little support from the Grey(t) one.

  54. elwood blues says:
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    I didn’t expect Torres to repeat last year’s performance, but man, is he struggling this year.
    Maybe he’ll be better in the 2nd half.. is he just getting unlucky right now.. or is he just sucking??

  55. JackInTheBox says:
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    Volstad vs Sea or Moseley vs Atl tomorrow? I’m thinking Volstad but what says the horde (and/or Grey)?

  56. dynas7y says:
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    @grey

    Krispie Young or Hunter Pence the rest of the way?

  57. Wilsonian says:
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    What the hell is up with Yahoo not updating their waivers? I’ve got an open roster spot that I’ve been trying to put Bernadina in and it’s still saying he’s on waivers but he comes off on the 24th. Isn’t it the 24th? It’s 11:18 central time and they haven’t updated their shizz yet. This is ridiculous.

  58. Boomer19 says:
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    Ugh…I’ve been avoiding the waiver wire for a catcher replacement and hoping to upgrade in a trade. Not happening. Who do you dislike least out of conger, hanigan, barajas, thole, or pudge? Apologies for this drivel of a question.

  59. Boomer19 says:
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    This one’s more exciting. Just got offered Pujols and Hanley for Adrian Gonzalez and Tulo. It is in a keeper league which I am struggling in this year so it would be more for years to follow. Do I take it?

  60. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: Waivers finally went through and someone claimed him. Dammit. Worried all that time for nothing.

    @Anyone: any clue as to if/when Mini-Mini Donkey is getting the call? Last I hear was that he was raking in AAA. I’m scrounging for 3rd basemen now that Lawrie isn’t gonna be up for awhile.

  61. Higgins says:
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    Pick two: Scherzer, Carpenter, Zimmermann.

    Thanks, Grey.

  62. Doc Pounder says:
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    I traded Oswalt,Joyce,and Rizzo for J. Heyward and Beachy earlier in the week. I wish my arms were longer to pat myself on the back. What say you?

  63. Cole says:
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    I can believe Judas would turn on Jesus like that.

  64. Wilsonian says:
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    @Doc Pounder: I’ll go ahead and pat you on the back for that one, too.

  65. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Wilsonian: Wiggy’s hitting, no reason to bring him up right now.

    @Higgins: Scherzer, Zimm

    @Doc Pounder: Sounds solid.

    @Cole: Ha!

    ******THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS******

  66. Long Bawls says:
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    I’m thinking of rolling the dice and starting all 4 of:
    Stauffer vs. ATL
    Zimm @ CWS
    Morrow @ STL
    Dempster @ KC tonight
    Dumb?

  67. Rob says:
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    I get:
    McCann
    Romo

    I give:
    Gallardo
    Napoli

    Current catcher is Iannetta, my rotation is solid with Cain, Latos, D. Hudson, G. Gonzalez, Bedard and Beachy, and I need the holds to boot. I do this trade, right?

  68. Rob says:
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    Will post on the new one as well just in case…sorry

  69. STRAWberry says:
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    Does anyone know if Pence, The Hunchback of Houston, is going to play this weekend?

    You may use this if you like Grey.

  70. shippity says:
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    Just dropping by to say I have a mancrush of epic proportions on one Wily Mo Pena

Comments are closed.