I wish there was some kind of baseball pun that could tie into PANAMA!, but I think it’s good enough to stand on its own. I don’t particularly like Van Halen, and for the better part of my childhood I thought he was yelling ANIMAL!, which still may be possible. But one thing’s for sure, for those of you who experienced the 80′s, this song is stuck in the very fabric of our DNA, our very soul. There are just some things that do that. Like the Airwolf theme. It’ll always be in my life. Not just because its my ringtone, but because it has embedded itself into the core of my being. Simply put, it’s a sentimental marker that my mind uses to spark love and happiness. Just like how PANAMA! is. And waffles. Blow-jobs, and so forth. You know what doesn’t get stuck to our fabrics? The names I’m about to talk about. WHY DO I PLAY IN DEEP LEAGUES? So much pain…

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The afternoon started with Matt Harvey. He pitched a stellar 7 innings with 13 Ks, but Terry Collins sent him out there in the 8th after throwing 110 pitches, which lead to two singles and a walk, three runners that the bullpen let in. After the game, Collins said, “I felt bad for Duda (who blew a chance for a Harvey no-hitter by not covering first base on Heyward’s infield single). I couldn’t let Duda make the only Metsake of the game. I was going to keep pitching Harvey until he screwed up. He’d have started the nightcap, if necessary.” Fortch, it wasn’t necessary, as the nightcap brought on Zack Wheeler‘s debut with a line of 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 7 Ks. To summarize, it was shaky as all get-out at first. He looked like he couldn’t hit the broadside of Precious. Then he either calmed, or realized something — if he could locate, no one could hit him. He can easily be as good as Harvey, but I’m guessing it won’t be until next year. Last night was the best you could’ve hoped for. To summarize that summary, he was shaky, then solid. To summarize the summary’s summary, Zack good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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We’re halfway through the H2H regular season, and for many of us, it’s time to make some moves in the standings. It’s not always so easy to negotiate trades, especially for those in public leagues, making additions from waivers an absolute necessity in most cases. A good method to get ahead in weekly formats is to keep up with the two-start landscape and stream the shizz out of the good options. If you’ve been lazy in this regard so far, it’s not too late. So quit looking for the new Kanye album that leaked yesterday (it’s not that great), and begin hoarding two-starters instead. I’m here every Saturday to help keep your hopes alive.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

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Yasiel Puig was scratched yesterday with a strained shoulder, suffering the injury during batting practice. Look at him, making himself feel right at home with the Dodgers. Next thing you know, he’s going to say Brandon League is their best reliever, run at 40% and leave before the eighth inning to beat the traffic. Let’s recap quickly, Puig took a fastball off his nose, wiped blood from his face and took first base. Then The Cuban did an interpretative dance with Kennedy’s whole team that he called “The Bay of Puig.” Finally, the next day, he hurts himself in batting practice. It’s like when Jean-Claude Van Damme beat the crap out of 47 bad guys, but stopped production on Timecop because the production assistant forget to bring his hair gel to set. “Van Damme be Van Damned if his hair isn’t coifed.” As of right now, there’s no word on how long Puig will be out, but hopefully this Puiggy doesn’t go wee, wee, wee all the way home. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s no way you haven’t heard, but the MLB is reportedly going to suspend, like, a team’s worth of players.  Maybe the potential suspendees should form their own team and own baseball league.  Maybe wear suspenders?  Womp, womp – that’s like a dad joke.  I heard Jose Canseco is still trying to play.  He’d fit in perfectly!

So you’ve got Ry-Ry Steroids-Steroids and steals king Everth Cabrera and have either the fantasy blues or fantasy roid rage.  Why not start afresh and draft a daily league team and win back that money your juicing up players are going to lose you in your fantasy league? Our friends at DraftKings continue to provide us with an awesome RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE Can You Beat Rudy Gamble Contest where the top winner gets a ticket into their huge $100,000 Punch Out which runs next Friday with the top winner getting $20,000!  Remember you have to click on that link above, or this one here, or the same very one here to get in.  It’s secret to everyone else!  Then spots 2-10 double up to $10.00 on a measly $5.00 entry.

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Detroit Tigers 2010 Minor Review
Overall farm talent ranking via Baseball America:
2010 (26) | 2009 (28) | 2008 (29) | 2007 (14) | 2006 (13) | 2005 (29) | 2004 (22)

Record of Major League Team and Affiliate
Majors: [81 – 81] AL Central
AAA: [70 – 73] International League Toledo
AA: [66 – 76] Eastern League Erie
A+: [71 – 67] Florida League Lakeland
A: [62 – 77] Midwest League West Michigan
A(ss): [38 – 37] New York / Pennsylvania League Connecticut
R: [30 – 28] Gulf League

The Run Down
The 2010 season was not great for the Tigers in the majors, but they did receive some surprising help from the minors.

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