Saul Rivera, who is surprisingly not related to Eli Whiteside, was acquired by the Diamondbacks. Big shakes, huh? Yeah, Rivera could get into the mix for saves. Another potential candidate for saves is… Wait for it… Here it comes… It’s here somewhere… Where are my notes… Oh, here they are… That’s my freakin’ shopping list, and I didn’t even spell minestrone right… Oh, here… Aaron Heilman! Not sure how the D-Backs are going to have a bullpen of Saul and Heilman. Sounds like the outtakes for Schlinder’s List. Saul walks 3 batters and turns the game over to Heilman. Heilman enters and says, “I pardon you, Saul.” Heilman will probably get exploited for being, well, not so good and having small fingers, but Qualls is close to getting removed from the closer role. Right now, Heilman’s the setup man and he gave up a run yesterday. The Diamondbacks also dropped Bob Howry. Why? Because. Oh, and there’s Juan Gutierrez. That’s not a closerousel, THIS IS A CLOSEROUSEL! I’d own Qualls and Heilman. Gutierrez and I, we’re like Kramer vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The average for caught stealing percentage in the Major Leagues is 28% so there’s not a whole lot of clubs that believe keeping the guy at first base is of much importance. Of course, some pitchers and catchers are just much easier than others. I remember watching one game where John Popper stole 2nd, 3rd and home on Chris Young while Run Around was playing on the stadium’s PA. Or maybe I just made that up. Either way, Chris Young’s terrible but he’s also a seven foot stick of injury proneness, which is a “u” and some fiber short of pruneness. So let’s look at some guys who are actually playing and how easy they are to steal on for fantasy baseball:
Gil Meche – Leads the league in steals allowed at 13. That’s also more than a third of the bases stolen against Kendall. So Kendall sucks, but Meche is making the most of his suckiness. Or the least. Not sure, lost myself there.Please, blog, may I have some more?
No, there’s probably no cast in Andre’s future. I’m not even sure they make casts small enough for the pinkie finger. That was Pingping‘s downfall, that and the chain smoking. After Andre Ethier broke a bone in his pinkie, he said something was seriously wrong. Seriously? You got a boo-boo on your pinkie! What, you can’t make shadow animals now? When he found out what it was, he said that it’s the leverage point of his swing and it would prevent him from holding the bat the way he normally does. Who’s leverage point is their freakin’ pinkie?! This is like the pea under the princess’s mattress. His biggest concern is probably how he can stick his pinkie out while drinking tea. Ethier could be out for a few weeks or he can play through it. So he’s damned if he does or a half dozen of the other… Or however that cliché goes. If it is his leverage point, you don’t want him playing through it. If he doesn’t play through it, he could be out at least a few weeks. And here I thought the only time Ethier and the word pinkie would be associated would be from this picture. Draw your own conclusions, but I’m guessing he’s in Key West. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Chad Billingsley – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. What every pitcher needs, a trip to Petco.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have reached the quarter pole of the fantasy season. We had our first manager ousting this week in K.C. The two biggest disappointments, team-wise have to be Seattle and Arizona. As we come up to week 7, it is the first week of interleague play, and the first week where all 30 teams play 7 games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In one article about Mike Stanton in The Miami Herald, a longtime season ticket holder, Fran, was asked if any player every matched Stanton’s sheer mollywhopping, pony sticking ability. The gist is no. Fran, at 85, had seen them all too. About Randy Johnson, Fran was quoted as saying, “Wild as any turkey ever got to be. He had that hair, and when he pitched and got sweaty, he had the nastiest head of hair you ever seen.” Now if I worked as a reporter for The Miami Herald, I’d make sure I had at least one quote from Fran in every article. If I could somehow find someone to match her quotey-ness, I’d say the quote was “frantastic.” If another reporter asked me to read their piece and they lacked a Fran quote, I’d say it’s not franny enough. Can we get a interview with Fran? Or should I just call up any retirement home in Miami-Dade County and interview anyone I get on the phone about the Marlins prospects? Mrs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m bitter. I dropped Brennan Boesch in one league on Wednesday night for Russell Branyan. Branyan DNP yesterday. Boesch hit a homer off CC. All my ex-classmates at the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston are going get on my case. That’s Waiver Wire 101, man! I’m chagrined.Please, blog, may I have some more?
BABIP is Batting Average on Balls In Play. And they sometimes lie, even if Shakira sang, BABIPs Don’t Lie. BABIP is a quick way to know how much luck a hitter is having. There’s more to it, but for the purposes of this, a high BABIP for a hitter and it means the hitter could hit a bloop single just over the pitcher’s head with the infield drawn in. Below .200 and the hitter could hit a line drive into the Grand Canyon and it would get caught by Alice on the back of a mule. Then there’s HR/FB%, which is a quick way to know if a hitter is hitting more home runs than what makes sense for that player’s amount of fly balls. Then there’s LD%, which is the percentage of hits that are line drives. Line drives are usually a sign of solid contact aka a player is hitting the ball hard. Finally, K% or the percentage a hitter Ks. So why all the fancy acronyms? Is it just gas for your inevitable brain fart? Nah, we’re going to see if there’s any hitters out there that are being sucky because they’re unlucky or unsucky because they’re lucky. Anyway, here’s some hitters that have been lucky or unlucky so far for fantasy baseball:
Aramis Ramirez – His K% is poor (24.6%), but it could be because his luck has been so bad (.179 BABIP). I’m not a huge fan of Aramis, but I think he will get better.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Javier Vazquez went seven innings, giving up 2 ER with 7 baserunners and recording 7 Ks as he lowered his ERA to 8.10. Though, he could’ve gave up 6 runs in 7 innings and would’ve lowered his ERA. Do I think Javy released his inner leprechaun and found the pot on the other side of his crappy pitching? Yes and no. There was no way Vazquez was going to pitch a 9.78 ERA all year. I mean, c’mon, that was obscene. He had given up more runs than innings. He was getting Pwnson’d every time out. The rest of the way he should be around a 4 to 4.50 ERA guy. There’s room to own that, but don’t expect last year this year, clear? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Phil Hughes – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks and now has a 1.38 ERA on the year. I really wanted to own Hughes this year. Alas, it didn’t happen. Alas II, I did draft Joba. Alas III, I dropped Joba before he got any saves. Alas IV, there’s no Alas IV. Dur.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Derek Holland is not officially a rookie, but that doesn’t mean he might not roofie you. Pitching in and out of the rotation last year, he had some real ulcer-inducing starts. I know, I have the internal scars to prove it. Oh, Mylanta! Though his xFIP was better than his actual ERA. I know, too bad your league isn’t all fussy with an xFIP category. Holland’s a plus-plus strikeout guy. In the hitter-friendly PCL, he had a 37:7 K:BB rate and a 0.93 ERA. He’s homer-prone and in Arlington that is a recipe for turd nuggets. I’m much more aggressive about grabbing young hitters than young pitchers. Hitters give you an 0-for-34 and you punt. A pitcher gives you a 2 IP, 7 ER start and that causes you to punch a random stranger and then next thing you know some guy named Bubba is fitting you for a teardrop tattoo. See how quickly that spiral spun downward? Ask Lawrence Taylor, he’ll tell you. So I didn’t grab Holland anywhere, but I would in the right circumstances, as long as you monitor where you start him. His first two outings are set for the A’s and Angels. That’s a “Yes, please” and “Don’t mind if I do.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – 9 IP, 1 hit shutout with 8 Ks as he dropped his ERA to 4.07 on the season. And there’s why I liked him so much in the preseason. If he’s out there in your league, own him, in the non-biblical sense.Please, blog, may I have some more?