Kendry Morales could miss the rest of the season after breaking his leg during the celebration of his walk-off grand slam.  Too bad the Wide World of Sports isn’t still on.  They could’ve covered the agony and the ecstasy all in one full swoop.  This injury reminds me of the time Justin Duchscherer heard The Hokey Pokey and in celebration put his right hip out.  And didn’t put his right hip back in for six to eight months later.  In place of Kendry, the Angels could call up Mark Trumbo.  In AL-Only leagues, he’s worth grabbing for his power potential.  In 47 games, he has 11 homers, but it’s also in the PCL, so there’s your grain of salt.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Howie Kendrick – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and two home runs.  Second home run was a game winner but there was no need for pylons around yesterday’s pile-on.  The celebration was kept in check by Scioscia.  He said under no circumstances is anyone supposed to injury another teammate in a celebration unless that player is Mike Napoli.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Nats will probably bring Stephen Strasburg into Washington in the bubble car with the albino John Lannan charged with throwing rose petals at his feet.  This was recently overheard in the Nats bathroom sometime in the near future, “Um, John, do you think you can stop with the petals?”  “Stephen, it’s my duty.”  “Yeah, well, this is my doodie and I’m going to be about 20 minutes.”  “Fair enough, sire!”  I went over Strasburg for fantasy already.  Been there, drunkenly wrote that.  I’m not changing my projections from that post.  A three and a half ERA seems optimistic enough.  Could he do a 2.75 ERA?  Sure, but I’m not counting on that.  I’m already giving him what I think we can get from Greinke.  So a 3.50 ERA… Let’s see, who else could bring such luster to our fantasy El Camino.  In 303 and a third 2nd half innings over the last three years, Bronson Arroyo has a 3.06 ERA.  Would anyone in their right mind trade Strasburg for Arroyo?  Not right now.  The hype is way too strong with the young Austrian.  Today, I think you can sell Strasburg for someone’s kidney.  I’m not sure what you’d do with three kidneys.  Maybe a bookend.  Think about how you felt owning Matusz, Smoak, Ike Davis, etc.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Scott Rolen went 2-for-4 as he hit his 3rd homer in the last week.  Now has 11 homers and 30 RBIs.  I’d say he’s in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s not.  He almost was then I thought about what I would write about him.  I didn’t want to write about how I wasn’t sure what to write about him.  I figured that was pointless.  Wait…  Oh.  Soooo, Rolen will hit 25 homers this year with a decent average and RBIs or he’ll get hurt and play only 100 games.  I’m thinking the latter happens, but I’d own him if I needed power for a chance at the former.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.

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Hisanori Takahashi had a nearly identical line last night as his last start; 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  A) I’m chalking it up to his histrionic delivery.  All of it.  You baffle people who haven’t seen you when you throw the ball between your legs and shake your tukis afterwards.  B) Did I just say tukis?  Hey, I’m Eli Whiteside!  C) He could continue to baffle people for a good couple of months.  D) He plays in Metco.  E) I can’t believe there was a D let alone an E.  F) A long long way to run.  G) He gets the Padres next.  H) He’s in the NL on a team that can win some games.  Why not own him?  Seriously, grab him now.  I) Am writing this.  J) Buhner.  K)  There’s no K, there’s never a K.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jose Reyes – 2-for-4 and a home run.  Thank you, Lord.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Chris Tillman will start Saturday for the Orioles.  He’s yet another prospiñata for the Orioles.  They’re fun to play with until they get the stuffing beat out of them by the Yanks, Sawx, Rays or Blue Ks.  Before picking up Tillman, do me one favor.  Ask Matusz’s owners how the experience has been owning him.  Though since they’re probably your competition they may lie to you.  Those bastards!  Maybe you can ask Matusz yourself since he’s probably on your waivers.  Can Tillman be lights out?  I suppose.  Is he worth a flier in 12 team leagues?  Eh, if expectations are in check.  You should proceed with caution.  Or you can pull the ol’ “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick with Tillman.  Let me explain the unfortunately named “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick.  You grab Tillman off waivers, then the next day you drop him so someone (<– the sucker) uses their waiver claim to get roofied.  Ah, yes.  That stings.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Frank Mata – Will Ohman seems to be the leading candidate for saves, but Mata’s a dark horse for saves (that’s not racist).  He was the closer in Triple-A Norfolk, which is only slightly below the Orioles in the ESPN power rankings.  I don’t think the O’s will/should throw Mata right into the fire, but they did that with Alfredo Simon, so there’s that.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday’s short schedule day reminded me of an old Chinese proverb.  Since a lot of you don’t speak Chinese, I’ll translate it for you.  If you can grab a hitter or two on a short schedule day, you should.  In bed.  I’d take a season of 0-for-4′s from my one day hitter pickups just for that outside chance I get one homer.  There is nothing more rewarding in fantasy, except maybe the one day pitcher grabs that nets you solid ratios and a Win.  Those are kinda sweet too.  So I decided to look at some guys that are probably owned in less than 50% of most leagues who could get you some value in fantasy baseball.  Because it’s just under two months into the season, a lot of names listed are fluky.  For instance, Luke Scott gets hot for 7 games and they’re all at home then suddenly he’s the best home slugger.  Most times picking up a hitter for one day really is about the hitter vs.

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Victor Martinez left the game after fouling the ball off his foot.  Wanna know our trade luck?  We just traded Jason Bay, Cervelli and Mike Gonzalez for V-Mart, Boesch and Desmond.  Is this karma for punting catchers in so many leagues over the years?  I hate you, fantasy baseball Gods.  You smite my team while I give you love.  I.  Give.  You.  Love!  Oh, bee tee dubya, V-Mart’s day-to-day.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike Cameron – Returning on Tuesday.  Didn’t I already talk about this schomhawk?  Oh, yeah, I did.  (The “I did” link we lead you to the answer.  If you ignore the answer, skip 7 pages ahead and slay the dragon.)

Adrian Beltre – 3-for-4, 1 RBI.  If you would’ve popped your head out of a DeLorean in the preseason and told me at the end of May Adrian Beltre would be hitting .335, I would’ve told you he’s headed for fantasy MVP honors.  Crazy how far his power has disappeared.

Please, blog, may I have some more?