Fantasy Baseball Advice

Kendry Morales could miss the rest of the season after breaking his leg during the celebration of his walk-off grand slam.  Too bad the Wide World of Sports isn’t still on.  They could’ve covered the agony and the ecstasy all in one full swoop.  This injury reminds me of the time Justin Duchscherer heard The Hokey Pokey and in celebration put his right hip out.  And didn’t put his right hip back in for six to eight months later.  In place of Kendry, the Angels could call up Mark Trumbo.  In AL-Only leagues, he’s worth grabbing for his power potential.  In 47 games, he has 11 homers, but it’s also in the PCL, so there’s your grain of salt.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Howie Kendrick – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and two home runs.  Second home run was a game winner but there was no need for pylons around yesterday’s pile-on.  The celebration was kept in check by Scioscia.  He said under no circumstances is anyone supposed to injury another teammate in a celebration unless that player is Mike Napoli.

Mike Napoli – Hey, I was just talking about you!  He played first base yesterday.  Could see Scioscia going with this arrangement because I always felt he looked down on Napoli’s defense like an impossible to please probation officer.

Grady Sizemore – Having knee surgery so now he’s eligible for your POS slot.  I’d cut him in leagues just because it might make it feel slightly better, but if you’re like a battered housewife (which is delicious with ranch dressing) who likes the abuse, then DL Sizemore, you might get a couple of weeks of him in September.  Maybe then he can defecate in your priceless, game-worn Ivan DeJesus hat.

Joey Votto – Misses his fifth game with neck stiffness.  This is a hunch, but I think Votto just needs a hug.

Josh Beckett – Won’t return on the first day he’s able because, well, he’s not able.  His mechanics are still off.  On a non-humorous observation tip, it doesn’t seem right that teams can just say someone’s injured when they’re clearly on the DL simply because they’re sucking.  Shouldn’t there be a league doctor who has to okay DL stints?

Jacoby Ellsbury – Was D’Ellsburied once again.  Was told to rest and drink lots of fluids.  Actually, I have no idea what he was told but I feel like doctors always say the same shizz.

Ryan Zimmerman – Hit 2 homers yesterday to bring his season total to 10.  T-minus 8 days until he becomes Washington’s 2nd favorite player.

Buster Posey – 6-for-8 since his call up.  Capable of a .300 average and 10+ homers.  He’s playing 1st base so that makes him more desirable than some other catchers because he’ll get more counting stats.  Plus, he has potential for a breakout.  When in doubt, go for upside.  I’d grab him (in the non-perverse way) in all leagues.

Max Scherzer – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 14 Ks.  Well, that’s one way to return.  Scherzer had a mechanics issue earlier in the year causing him to lose M’s on his PH’s.  A few weeks in the minors later and he looks cured.  He gets the peasant Royals next so he has a good chance of having another nice outing.  I don’t think he tears up the majors like he just did in the minors.  He suffers a bit from Kershawitis with short outings and deep counts.

Carlos Guillen – 1-for-5 with a homer.  Best case scenario is a 10/10 guy at 2nd base.  It’s a’ight.

Dontrelle Willis – Was designated for assignment.  His assignment is to “stop sucking.”  Whether he chooses to accept it is a whole another issue.

Justin Masterson – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Yankees.  Figures the one game where he pitches semi-decent is against a team where no one would start him.  Nice, Justin Masterson:  The Passive Aggressive Fantasy Starter.

Anibal Sanchez – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Now has a 2.89 ERA on the year.  Up until this start there were some easy matchups and a bunch of walks.  He goes to Metco next, which should be favorable but then he goes to Citizens Flank, where he could get assaulted by Philly hitters or fans.

Will Ohman – The child safety seal is off now that he gave up his first two runs of the year with back to back homers to Jose Bautista and Alex Gonzalez.  BTW, Jose Bautista leads the major leagues in homers.  Him and his stupid Hitler stache under his lip.

Ricky Romero – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  The Blue Jays somehow lost Roy Halladay and got better.  Insert confused emoticon.

Derek Holland – Left the game with shoulder soreness.  I’d lose him in all but the deepest leagues.  And since we’re on Texas and their myriad of injuries…

Nelson Cruz – Headed to the DL.  So much upside out there in Arlington but can’t avoid injuries.  They have the eternal flame-outs.

Jake Peavy – Got the Win!  Gave up 5 runs in 5 and 1/3 innings.  Got hit hard!

Alex Rios – Another game, another homer and steal.  He was in Friday’s Buy/Sell as a Sell.  I stand by that.  I am standing too.  And wearing no pants.  Do you bet on the career year where he far exceeds expectations or do you trade him for someone who is a safer bet like, say, Adrian Gonzalez?

Matt Thornton – Got the save on Friday then Ozzie removed him from a save situation on Sunday.  Cause, really, what’s a closer shituation without some confusion?  Oh, want further wagon circling on your closerousel?  Jenks says he’s healthy enough to return.  Though who’s listening?

Jayson Nix – Hit a grand slam yesterday.  Nothing to see here unless you’ve got some inside dope that the Nix brothers got the same ’strength trainer’ as the Giles brothers used to employ.

James Shields – 5 1/3 IP, 7 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks.  There’s a warm feeling I can’t describe in the pit of my stomach.  Wait… I know what it is.  Schadenfreude and it feels so good!

Albert Pujols – 3 homers yesterday.  Guess he’s not done, though the only one who was manufacturing that crap was ESPN as they tried to sell pageviews.

Geovany Soto – Hit a homer just as his fantasy owners began to drop him.  Obviously, Soto and Masterson got together to come up with ways to make their fantasy owners cry.

Rickie Weeks – 3-for-4 and 2 homers.  Now has one more homer than Prince Fielder.  And 17 extra open holes on his belt.

Jose Reyes – 2-for-5 as he made the June 1st milestone of .255.  Do I hear .275 for July 1st?  .280?  Be even better if he stole 15 bases this month.

Angel Pagan – Batting around .350 with 4 steals and 1 homer in the last week.  I actually picked him up in one league.  It’ll probably be a short layover on his way to the waiver wire, but there ya go.

Jeff Francoeur – 4-for-5, 3 Runs, 2 RBIs and a steal as he also heats– Actually, the entire Mets team is hot for the first time since The Curse of the Shirtless Bernazard.

Chad Qualls – 1 IP, 2 ER for his 4th blown save.  This was the 2nd straight 2 earned run outing for Qualls.  At some point, he should be replaced as closer, and that point was probably about a month ago.

Roy Halladay – Threw a perfect game on Saturday.  After the game, Vice President Joe Biden called to congratulate him.  Afterwards, Halladay put Moyer on the phone so he could talk to his old high school friend.

The Strasburg watch has gone into DEFCON 3. Every expert who calls themselves one, knows the date he is coming up and who he will face and how he will throw exactly 85 pitches with 75 of them being fastballs. Enough already, all this speculation is annoying. He is owned in almost 85% of those leagues(with the exception of leagues where you can’t use minor leaguers). When he comes up if you don’t own him then you’re the fat kid with the short stick. Do I think he will be good?  Yeah, I have seen him traded twice in the last week in my vast array of leagues. One for Shawn Marcum, Adam Jones and a pick, and the other was for Cliff Lee and a draft pick. I’m no judge but he has great value right now. As I basically only own him in one league. So with the Stras watch 2010 behind us, now let’s move onto week 9 two start fellas for fantasy baseball. It offers a busy week of usual suspects at the top of their fantasy games right now. Personally, I am looking forward to a couple of great pitching matchups this week; Timmy vs. Ubaldo on Monday, Tillman vs. Bucholz on Thursday. So, here’s the list of guys I think will not only be available in most leagues but go twice to boot.

Hisanori Takahashi - (@ SD vs. Corriea) (Fla vs. Nolasco)

As I have said previously, if I have any loyal listeners, Takahashi gets by with more deception than stuff. Will get figured out eventually. Any start at Petco is a good start. Mets are in the midst of their best pitching stretch of the year. Great K-rate should continue.

Jason Vargas – (Min vs. Blackburn) (Ana vs. Pineiro)

Been pretty steady considering the Mariners don’t score runs. Has pitched well enough to win last 3 starts.  Not much in the K department. 2 home cooked starts are a plus. Will get battered by the Twins and then settle down for a win later in the week.

Brandon Morrow – (TB vs. Garza) (NYY vs. Vasquez)

Awesome K-rate makes him so appealing. Pitches twice as good at home where his ERA is in the 4’s, and gets 2 starts there albeit against teams that are good at abusing pitchers. Only pitcher in baseball in the top five in BB’s and K’s, there is no award for that.

Kevin Correia – ( NYM vs. Takahashi) (@Phi vs. Blanton)

Gets a home start.  That is all you need. Has been marginal to crappy last 5 starts. Still will get you 5 K’s per outing, if he can keep it on the ground vs. Phils could have himself a sub 3 ERA for the week with 2 wins.

Trevor Cahill – (@ Det vs. Verlander) (Min vs. Liriano)

Has had a few more starts than last time I wrote about him and, well, lookie here… He is hitting his stride. Opponents hitting .221 against him. Great time to get in on him when others may be sleeping.

Mitch Talbot – ( @NYY vs. Pettitte) ( @CHW vs. Peavy)

Has a rabbit’s foot, 3 buffalo nickels and a signed picture of Abe Vigoda in his pocket for luck. Has 40% of Cleveland’s wins. How you ask? Only Scott Baio knows.

Luke Hochevar – (Ana vs. Santana) (Det vs. Verlander)

Can’t be a week if I don’t talk about a KC pitcher. Umm words are elusive right now.  Coming off 2 great starts plus they have a waterfall in their stadium, a waterfall!

Jeremy Bonderman – (Cle vs. Westbrook) ( @KC vs. Bannister)

Starting to look like a ten million dollar pitcher. Has allowed only 4 ER in May. Gets about 6 K’s per outing and his team scores runs for him. Best 2 start matchup guy for the week and the low end pick up o’ the week.

Brett Myers – (Was vs. Stammen) (CHC vs. Gorzellany)

Still doin’ work. Walks entirely too many for my liking. Gets two decent matchups for a team going nowhere but the trade pool. Sneaky guy for 12K’s and a win this week.

John Ely – ( Ari vs. Haren) (Atl vs. Hudson)

How could I not write about a Grey fav. K/BB rate is phenomenal. Gets 2 starters that are scuffling as of late. Any 2 start guy who has his numbers is a no brainer, stay on the bus and enjoy the ride.

The Nats will probably bring Stephen Strasburg into Washington in the bubble car with the albino John Lannan charged with throwing rose petals at his feet.  This was recently overheard in the Nats bathroom sometime in the near future, “Um, John, do you think you can stop with the petals?”  “Stephen, it’s my duty.”  “Yeah, well, this is my doodie and I’m going to be about 20 minutes.”  “Fair enough, sire!”  I went over Strasburg for fantasy already.  Been there, drunkenly wrote that.  I’m not changing my projections from that post.  A three and a half ERA seems optimistic enough.  Could he do a 2.75 ERA?  Sure, but I’m not counting on that.  I’m already giving him what I think we can get from Greinke.  So a 3.50 ERA… Let’s see, who else could bring such luster to our fantasy El Camino.  In 303 and a third 2nd half innings over the last three years, Bronson Arroyo has a 3.06 ERA.  Would anyone in their right mind trade Strasburg for Arroyo?  Not right now.  The hype is way too strong with the young Austrian.  Today, I think you can sell Strasburg for someone’s kidney.  I’m not sure what you’d do with three kidneys.  Maybe a bookend.  Think about how you felt owning Matusz, Smoak, Ike Davis, etc. (BTW, isn’t it sad how “etc.” is always last?) before they appeared in one game.  Now think about how you feel about those rookies after a month plus?  In my 20 team league, someone just dropped Matusz and in another league I’m glad I traded Smoak the day after I picked him up.  Yes, I’m telling you to sell Strasburg if you can get the right deal.  I don’t think Strasburg will be droppable in two months, but I also don’t think his hype will reach his value.  Of course, ignore the previous paragraph in keeper leagues, unless you’re Steve Phillips.  In keeper leagues, you rename your team, The House of Strasburg and you dine on fine wines and hard to pronounce cheeses.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Will Ohman – The O’s bullpen looks like Rocky Dennis trying to get dressed up for a semi-casual night out with a girl he likes.

Frank Mata – The Mata Hari of SAGNOF!  (BTW, SAGNOF doesn’t stand for Smoking Ain’t Got No Face if we have any Indonesian toddlers reading.)

Trevor Hoffman – I see he’s been dropped in almost 25% of ESPN leagues.  Here’s the thing, and there is a thing, the Brewers will try to get Hoffman back into the ninth inning.  It’s a long season; he can still save 20 more games this year.

Kerry Wood – Why is he not owned in every league?  All of you can’t be playing in 8 team leagues.  Though I do think I’m probably preaching to choir.  If you read Razzball, you probably own Wood (the player) and Perez, so carry on.  Or carry on your head if you’re Jamaican.

Zach Braddock – More of an NL-Only, keeper or league that uses middle reliever pickup.  His stuff makes nasty say, “Damn.”

Neil Walker – Yeah, this guy’s the bee’s knees.  Meaning of course, bee’s don’t have knees and you probably shouldn’t have Neil Walker either.  In NL-Only leagues, this pickup is a’ight.

Chris Iannetta – Just went over him in a roundup.  Want more?  Read what I just wrote.

Carlos Santana – Now I’d grab him.  Do I expect the second coming of Mike Piazza?  No.  I also don’t expect Darrell Porter, Male Escort.  Ad nauseam I’ve been saying if you want to know how much you can get from The Supernatural catcher look at Matt Wieters last year, or even this year.  In the end, Santana is still a catcher so don’t cut anyone too great for him.

Felipe Lopez – If it ain’t good ol’ Felopezian sucking from the productive teet.  I don’t expect Lopez to have immense value, but then again how’s EverCab treating you?

Rickie Weeks – To answer that small man in the back of your brain that keeps whispering bad thoughts, yes, I like Weeks better than Felipe Lopez.

Trevor Crowe – He has some speed, but no matter how faceless steals are I wouldn’t grab Crowe outside of AL-Only leagues.

Luis Durango – While Crowe is an AL-Only SAGNOF’er, Durango can be mixed league material if he gets every day playing time because he will run more.  I mean, that is his one contribution.

Jose Lopez – I know he’s been badder than bad so far, but, and this is a big “but” with J. Lo, for the last two years, he hasn’t started hitting until June.  Otherwise known as next week.

Hisanori Takahashi – Might not be a long term pickup, but worth grabbing for his start vs. the Padres and then taking it from there.  So I like him, but not completely gung ho, which is also the number one massage parlor in Japan.

Brandon Morrow – His K/9 is 11.70, his men left on base and BABIP have both been unlucky.  His FIP is below 4.  Morrow’s a man of constant sorrow.  So what’s the downside?  His walks are Follie Perez bad.  Worth a shot in certain leagues where you’re thirsty for Ks and can spare the WHIP.

Jorge de la Rosa – Seeing people drop him in some leagues.  Well, better for you astute Razzball reader because he’s coming back by mid to late-June.  Astute Razzball reader, “What should we expect from him?”  I thought you were the astute one.

SELL

Chris Tillman – You want a rookie pitcher?  Try John Ely.  He’s in the NL and faces the Giants, Diamondhacks and Padres.

Alex Rios – In the top five on ESPN’s Player Rater are Ubaldo, Braun, Vlad, Rios and Longoria.  Vlad may not belong in that select group, but at least he’s getting value from hitting homers, which is something he can do.  Rios is the bigger sore thumb.  His homers are sky high for him, literally.  He’s never stole more than 32 bases before and his career high in homers is 24.  At some point, the Rios we all know and despise will return with a turd nugget.  I wouldn’t trade him for a dinner-date with your senile Aunt Lucy, but I’d explore trades.

Tim Hudson – Before yesterday’s game, he had 27 Ks and 25 walks, his men left on base has been absurd, his BABIP is silly and his team isn’t exactly the pillar of good support.  I’m not sure if anyone’s buying Hudson for anything on his own, but he might put another deal over the top.  Your leaguemate, “I don’t know if I want to trade Prince to you for F-Her.  Maybe we can just be friends.”  You, “How about I throw in Tim Hudson and I’ll let you hold me afterwards?”

Scott Rolen went 2-for-4 as he hit his 3rd homer in the last week.  Now has 11 homers and 30 RBIs.  I’d say he’s in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s not.  He almost was then I thought about what I would write about him.  I didn’t want to write about how I wasn’t sure what to write about him.  I figured that was pointless.  Wait…  Oh.  Soooo, Rolen will hit 25 homers this year with a decent average and RBIs or he’ll get hurt and play only 100 games.  I’m thinking the latter happens, but I’d own him if I needed power for a chance at the former.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.   Could say his run of 6 straight solid starts has to do with his opponents, but he’s in the NL Central who’s he gonna face?  1985 Cards?  Ooh, Tommy Herr, I’m scared.

Brandon Phillips – I don’t own him anywhere but I get comments about trading him away or some shizz.  So I looked at his stats today.  He has 6 homers and 7 steals.  I’ll agree when you’re going along that’s fairly yawnstipating, but that’s also a 20/20 pace, exactly where he should be.  Phillips is who he is.  Like with boxers, you gotta your boys breath.

Nelson Cruz – Another day, another hamstring injury.  Wouldn’t be surprised to see him back on the DL within a few days.  The alternative is he plays through the hamstring injury for a few days then hurts himself worse.  If I could bottle a way to strengthen hamstrings, I’d misplace it then find it three years later wondering what it is.  Then I’d open it, smell it and think to myself, “Is this Drakkar?”

Curtis Granderson – To return today.  Isn’t it weird how it’s today?  Tomorrow makes sense.  It’s to morrow.  You’re going to morrow.  Going to day is redundant.  Should be just day.  Hmm, I sound like I’m on narcotics.

Joey Votto – Out for a second day with a stiff neck.  Maybe he has a Viagra lodged in his throat.  Thank you, Shecky Greene!

John Ely – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Loving Ely so far, even if I benched him in certain leagues yesterday.  Hey, can’t blame him that I need a cup check.  WHY DO YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH?  Thanks for asking, Mr. Caps.  He has 32 Ks against 6 walks and a 1.00 WHIP through 39 innings.  He is doing a better impersonation of Slowey than Slowey himself.

Ted Lilly – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Now has a 3.63 ERA on the year or exactly the same ERA you would think Ted Lilly would have for the last ten years if you didn’t actually look it up.

Geovany Soto – Has one hit since May 16th.  One way to have people stop saying how bad your sophomore slump is by making your junior slump even worse.

Casey McGehee – Kinda weird how it looks like his stat line:  24/9/41/.315/1 and Prince Fielder’s 29/7/19/.264/1 look like they’re in the movie, Vice Versa and Prince Fielder is Fred Savage.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners (8 Walks), 1 K.  You know it’s bad when you drop a guy before the game is even over and it doesn’t even feel liberating when you lose him.  I don’t know how I got bamboozled into starting Dice-BB in a league.  Such a bad judgment call.  I blame Alfredo Simon for going on the DL and giving me room on my roster.

P.J. Walters – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Guy sounds like he’s on an 80′s detective show where he solves all the cases in his pajamas.  P.J. Walters:  The Groggy Eye.  So, this start was vs. the Padres in Petco.  He’ll probably stick for now in the rotation with the lose of Lohse.  I’d look at him in NL-Only leagues, but no mixed leagues yet.

Josh Willingham – Now has 3 homers in the last week while he bats near .400.  Something’s cooking and it smells like ham.

Justin Maxwell – 0-for-3 as he bats .138 for the year.  He leadoff yesterday.  Nyjer Morgan’s sucking up a boba straw’s worth of crap this year.  He bats leadoff all the time.  Know how many times Desmond’s hit leadoff?  Not once.  Thanks, Nats, for my ulcer.

Jose Reyes – 3-for-4 as he raised his average 39 points in the last 7 games.  In the beginning of the month, I said he’d be hitting .255 by the end of the month with 17 steals.  He needs to hit around .300 in his last three games with a handful of steals.  Even if it doesn’t happen what he’s done over the last week shows not only what he can do but what any struggling star can do.  Sure, Holliday looks lost.  But at some point he will turn it on and you’ll be glad you have him.  Nobody talks about the fantasy baseball championship they won on May 31st, still plenty of time left.  Over 4 months to be inexact.  Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper.

Carlos Beltran – Mets say Beltran is unlikely to return before mid-July.  A report out of New York said a kid who was born the day Beltran went on the DL said his first words yesterday, “Beltran sucks.”

Seth Smith – Has now hit 3 homers in the last two days.  He should be in today’s Buy/Sell but he won’t be because I’m telling you to pick him up right now.

Jason Hammel – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Been a complete and utter mess this year, but he had a 3.13 ERA last year in Away games and his next start is in San Francisco.

Gavin Floyd – 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Now has two solid starts in a row.  His peripherals were saying he should be better and it looks like he’s been listening.

Jeff Niemann – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Now has a 2.37 ERA and a 1.05 WHIP.  I’m going to sound like an obstinate broken record here.  But I don’t buy into Neimann at all.  At all.  At–

B.J. Upton – Sat out his second straight day for a mental rest.  As frequent commenter, Steve, said, “Well, owning him is driving me mental so I guess it’s fair enough.”

Jason Kubel – 3-for-4, 5 RBIs and 2 homers as someone popped the Kubel.  Now has 5 doubles and 5 homers on the year as he bats .233.  I didn’t think he’d only hit 3 homers and .200 the whole year, so he had to hit at some point.  This could be the point.  He’s really no different than Cody Ross or Luke Scott or a dozen other guys who could hit 25 homers this year.  Just depends whose outfield basket you want your eggs.

Javier Vazquez – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks.  He left with a bruised finger.  His fantasy owners have a middle finger he can borrow.

Brad Lidge – Wants to return on Monday.  Philly fans, prepare your vomit.

Where do the starters exit the stadium when the game’s over because I’m a groupie for strikeout heavy pitchers, i.e., Grey’s high on a high K/9, i.e., ergo, henceforth, vis-a-vis, I’d own these starters.  Why the hearts on the notebook, Grey? Glad you asked, random italicized voice.  Picture this scenario, your pitcher’s in a jam.  Man on 3rd with one out in the bottom of the 2nd.  Up walks the eight hole hitter. (For this example, let’s assume it’s not the Cards, cuz then it would be the pitcher.)  In this situation, a ground out will probably score the man on third, so the best scenario is a strikeout.  When you have a high K/9 pitcher, that’s a strong possibility.  If you have a guy that pitches more to contact cough Pineiro cough, then you’re relying on factors out of the pitcher’s control, namely the defense.  Now I didn’t bother listing pitchers that have top K/9’s like Lincecum because they’re all owned or expensive to get in a trade.  Instead, I listed pitchers that have a strong K/9 (above eight) that I could see either being available or getting in a trade for a reasonable price.  Anyway, here’s some top K/9 fantasy baseball starters:

Tommy Hanson – 9.68 K/9.  I just went over him in a roundup last week.  I’m still not completely convinced he’s going to avoid setbacks, but for the right price I’d put some of that my hand, son.

Clayton Kershaw – 9.61 K/9.  Has the 7th best K/9 and a 5+ BB/9, which is incredibly bad.  In his young career, Kershaw seems like he needs to audit Pitch Management 101.

Jered Weaver – 9.92 K/9.  Throwing his curveball a lot more this year has bumped his K-rate up by more than 2 per inning and has batters swinging and missing at pitches outside the strike zone by 7% more.  Meanwhile, his brother, Jeff cries himself to sleep.

James Shields – His K/9 in 2009 was 6.84, his K/9 this year is 9.22.  What the flippin’ frack is going on?

Tom Gorzelanny – K/9 is 9.23, which is excellent.  Might be the first time I’ve mentioned Gorzelanny in a positive light this year.  Just hard for me to get behind reclamation projects.  I’m like the Councilman in that scene of Treme where Big Chief… *snooze*  Wait, is the episode over?  What happened in that scene where… *snooze*  At this point, I just hope Treme doesn’t ruin my future re-watchings of The Wire.  Anyhoo, Gorzelanny might get bumped for Big Z, so I’d put my excitement on simmer.

Ricky Romero – 9.48 K/9.  Still going to have some terrible matchups, and I have my doubts if he can continue at the pace he’s on, but definitely worth owning and starting just about everywhere.

Colby Lewis – 9.10 K/9.  He was terrible in the US, then he found himself in Japan and returned to find success here.  Colby is a Survivor!  His xFIP is 3.99 and I think in his home park in the summer he might be lucky to keep it that low, but the Ks are definitely there.

Felipe Paulino – 8.59 K/9.  Yeah, that’s nice, but his walk rate is 5.26, which even beats BBershaw.

Phil Hughes – 8.88 K/9.  Top Yankee strikeout pitcher by a huge margin with CC coming in with a 6.75.  BTW, Halladay has a 6.90 K/9, way down from last year, which is almost as odd as what Shields is doing.

Justin Masterson – 8.81 K/9.  His walk rate is bad at 4.98, but his xFIP is over two runs lower than his ERA because his BABIP is an insane .405.  I know numbers make your brain hurt, so I’ll say this.  In theory, he should be a lot better, but so should deep-fried Twinkies but, in the end, they just taste like greasy batter.  Wait, greasy batter’s delicious!