Finally, we come to the end of the 2010 fantasy baseball rankings.  (Can we start games already?)  Okay, you know that I like Rickie Weeks better than Howie Kendrick in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010.  You know I like Jay Bruce better than Nolan Reimold as seen at the top 40 outfielders for 2010.  But you don’t know how I feel about where these guys fall in the bigger picture.  Is Rickie Weeks above Jay Bruce?  Nope.  So to show you where I think players fall in relation to each other in 2010 fantasy baseball drafts, I’m putting together a 2010 fantasy baseball top 300.  This still needs to be taken with a grain of salt.  If you have a shortstop already and Andrus is still on the board in the 12th round, you don’t draft him if you see Bruce and you need an outfielder, even though Bruce is below Andrus on this list.  So I might take someone at 200 over someone at 180?  Yes, every draft is different.  With the top 10, there’s almost no latitude.  With the top 100, there’s a bit more.  With a top 300, there’s lots of latitude.  You taking someone at 185 is more or less the same as someone else taking someone at 225.  So if you see someone at 250th, but want them at 200, then do what you do.  Because of the length of the top 300, there’s no pithy comments with each name, but you kinda do need to know what I’m thinking for each name, so I advise you go over each position in the 2010 fantasy baseball rankings.  The top 100 and top 300 is what I would have at my drafts, along with the Point Shares and the top 20 rankings posts.  I already went over a top 100 for 2010 Fantasy Baseball, so I’m not going to cover them again.  This top 300 will go from 101 to 300.  Finally, see our list of all players with multiple position eligibility.  Anyway, here’s the 2010 fantasy baseball top 300:

100.

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Orlando Hudson to the Twins.  Anyone ever wonder about how Disneyland and Disney World are both in an Orange County in two different states?  Weird, right?  Yeah, deep thoughts with Grey Albright.  So Orlando Hudson goes to the Twins and retains the same value he’s had with every other team.  You can set your watch to “Blah” and Hudson will get there every time.  He’s around the same value as Crapolanco.  He’ll slide into the two hole in the lineup and slash around 85/10/65/.290/10.  As they say, a better real baseball move.  And by “they,” I mean whoever says that.  The best part of signing Hudson is that Twins fans can say see-ya to Casilla as a starter at 2B and punt Punto to under 200 plate appearances.  Anyway, here’s some more signings and goings-on for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Orlando Cabrera — To the Reds.  Orlando Cabrera is slightly more exciting than Hudson, but really it couldn’t have been more yawnstipating.  O-Cab brings a bit more speed potential with a slightly lower average.  Think 80/10/75/.275/15.  Not a bad name to look at late at MI, but you’ll definitely grow bored of him sometime in April.

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With the 2010 fantasy baseball rankings for every position done, we turn our lazy eye towards the top 100 for 2010 fantasy baseball.  These rankings may as well been co-written by Kim Jong-il because, if those 2010 fantasy baseball rankings were the bomb, this shizz is nu-cu-lar.  None of this top 100 for 2010 fantasy baseball is meant to surprise.  It’s just taking my positional rankings and putting guys in The Big Picture.  Obviously at a hundred players, some guys just didn’t make it.  About 200 or so, to be inexact.  It’s okay, there will be a top 300 too.  Shortly, Sloth, you’ll have your Baby Ruth.  Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel.  Print it out and take it to Mt.

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Dogging Aramis Ramirez as someone who’s overrated in 2010 fantasy baseball seems odd.  He was hurt last year and that was coming off two years when he was just a’ight.  And just a’ight is several levels removed from a’ight a’ight.  Just a’ight is not even the same as just a’ight.  On the scale of a’ight, there’s a’ight a’ight, a’ight, pretty a’ight, just a’ight.  Not to mention, we’re talking about a’ight here.  We’re not talking about him on the scale of totes crazy.  He hasn’t been totes crazy since 2006.  Back then, I could see throwing on some Aramis.  That shizz was Spanish Fly.  In 2006, he threw up a line of 93/38/119/.291/2.  Nice, next time I see 2005 I’ll tell him to keep an eye out for that.  This year I have Aramis down for 75/25/95/.290.  Adrian Beltre looks at those numbers and shrugs.  Don’t trust me and my mustache?  Bill James has him down for 76/26/97/.292; CHONE has 67/22/84/.289; Marcel has 59/18/72/.290.  Points Shares has him at 122th, earning -.26 points.  Sweet, throw him in a pot with some bell peppers and cumin and you have crap.

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Have to go through a lot other ‘perts’ turd nuggets to find some kernels of truth, right?  So I took a looksie at ESPN’s mock draft.  These guys (and maybe girls, cause I don’t even recognize some names — Becquey?  Is that the phonetic pronunciation of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway’s abbreviation, BQE?  No idea.) make their living by doling out fantasy baseball advice, but, as Tim Gunn would say, the problem is they’ve been in the monkey house too long.  Here’s Gunn’s explanation, “When you first walk into the monkey house at the zoo, what do you do?  You cover your nose and think, “This place stinks!” After some time, you’ve adjusted a bit, “Well, I guess this isn’t so bad.”  Then later, you don’t even notice the smell.”  ESPN builds a bunker, doles out advice but has no idea what the stench is like.  To get poetic on you, they think their feces smells like Reese’s Pieces.

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The 2010 fantasy baseball rankings are just about in the bag, but first we look at the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball.  No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks.  Chillax.  The only fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term) that seem to pay attention to middle relievers are those that play in a Holds league.  That’s wrong, I tell ya.  A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff.  (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.)  Say you had James Shields last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Takashi Saito.  With just Shields, you had the 4.14 ERA dump to clean up.  With Saito and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.80 ERA.  If you also carried Matt Thornton, you had a combined 3.59 ERA.  Not to mention, you had 6 vulture saves.  Oh, and your WHIP went from Shields’s 1.41 to 1.28 and had an additional 139 Ks.  Middle relievers can also help balance out your junky closers.  Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball:

1.

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Boston Red Sox 2009 Minor League Review
Overall farm rankings via Baseball America (2009)
2009 (13) | 2008 (2) | 2007 (9) | 2006 (8) | 2005 (21) | 2004 (23)

Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [95 – 57] AL East
AAA: [61 – 82] International League
AA: [67 – 74] Eastern League
A+: [67 – 72] Carolina League
A: [73 – 65] South Atlantic League
A(ss): [45 – 30] New York – Pennsylvania League
R: [26 – 27] Gulf League

The Run Down
The junior Evil Empire has no reason to complain this off-season.

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