Fantasy Baseball Advice

Evan Longoria went 0-for-4 yesterday.  He’s been kinda terrible for about three months now.  Man, third base is a minefield.  Now I’m not putting Longoria in the Wright Sucks Then Gets Conked On The Head box.  No, he hasn’t been nearly that bad.  But two separate months of an under .240 average and two months of zero steals and tw0 months of 1 steal and this sentence has nearly as many ands as, “In the saying, “Fish-and-Chips,” it’s necessary to have a hyphen between “fish” and “and,” and “and” and “chips.”  I’m not ready to proclaim where Longoria should be drafted next year.  I’m Grey and I make proclamations! But Longoria isn’t exactly setting the world afire with flames shooting out of his areolas.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Scott Kazmir – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Sonavabench!  I can’t stand Rays pitchers this year.  They’re sucking the life out of me.  One day it’s Shields pitching terribly in my lineup, then it’s him pitching well on my bench. Then Kazmir follows suit.  I might need to take a sabbatical next year from the Rays pitchers.

J.P. Howell – 1 IP, 1 ER. This is the 2nd game in a row Thurston and Lovey’s son has blown.

Oliver Perez – Out for the season with surgery to his knee.  In September, I’m fully expecting the Mets to play their home games in candy stripper outfits.

Brad Penny – Wanted out of Boston and he got it.  He cited irreconcilable differences.  Sox just said he sucked.

Chad Qualls – Placed on waivers, but it’ll take a John Holmes-sized package to get him from the Diamondbacks.  If he’s shown the door, I’d expect Rauch to get the saves.  Oh, and he blew a save last night.  Yay.

Justin Upton – Back from his oblique strain.  Oh, and he went 1-for-3.  Non-sarcastic yay.

Jonathan Sanchez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks.  Has been solid since his no-hitter.  Somewhere, Buehrle realizes he should’ve renegotiated his deal with the devil.

Brian Wilson – Medders got the save yesterday (quite easily actually), but I think it was just because Medders was warming up to enter a losing game, then one of The Flying Molina Brothers put the Giants into a save situation with 2 outs in the 8th.

David Ortiz – 2 HRs yesterday.  Has 22 homers on the year while batting .227.  Who are you, Dave Kingman?

Josh Johnson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks vs. the Mets.  Is it only me or do you, loyal Razzball reader, also expect a shutout from your pitcher when they face the Mets and are upset when all you get is a s0lid start?

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Was outpitched by Pineiro.  What’s worse, I’m not surprised.  I wanna say to Oswalt, “You gonna let this punk get away with that?  What’s the matter with you?  What’s the world comin’ to?”

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4, but caught stealing again.  On the bright side, he’s at least attempting steals.  I’m farting in your general direction, Alcides Escobar.

Andre Ethier – 3-for-4, 2 HRs.  Mentioned so I don’t get hate mail from Andre Ethier’s Mom.

Jack Cust – HR yesterday.  Member two days ago how I said when he gets hot, he gets scorching?  He’s now batting near .600 for the last week.

Jose Lopez – HR yesterday.  Has 4 homers in the last week.  Cool, but I dropped him back in May and don’t regret it.

Trevor Hoffman – Placed on waivers.  These things usually don’t go through.  Keep that in mind.  But I’d expect Coffey to grab Brewers saves in September if The Hoff’s off.

Nick Johnson – Heads to the DL.  If you set your watch by Johnson’s DL trips, you were probably pretty tardy this year as it took him much longer than usual to hit the infirmary.

Brad Lidge – Before yesterday’s game, Manuel said Lidge will remain the Phillies closer.  So, of course, Madson came on for the save.  And blew it.  Give Scott Eyre the ball!  I keed.  Lidge had worked a few days in a row, so I think Lidge is still the guy… To blow saves.

Cole Hamels – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  I watched a good chunk of this game.  The Pirates had a lot of opportunities to score.  Love to sit here (and I am sitting) and tell you Hamels is gonna be just fine going forward, but I’d be lying.  He might be, but this game shouldn’t be used as an indication either way.

Matt LaPorta – 2-for-4 and a HR yesterday.  He now has at least one hit in every game since his recall.  Now Eric Wedge must think harder about ways to bench him.

Andy Pettitte – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks.  I don’t think I’ve owned a Yankee pitcher in five years.  Too many headaches with the division and now the ballpark.  Pettitte’s one of those I wouldn’t have owned (though used to when he was on the Astros).  But through it all, Pettitte has pitched well this year.  Nothing incredible (4.18 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, around 7 K/9), but solid.

Alfonso Soriano – May need knee surgery.  No word if he’ll have it sooner than later.  My guess is later, but if he does it sooner, then suddenly we have a some playing time for Jake Fox.  Yes, Soriano’s fallen far when I’m hoping for knee surgery and I own him in a league.

Milton Bradley – HR yesterday.  Before the game, he talked about how much he hates Chicago, “I’m talking about hatred, period. I’m talking about when I go to eat at a restaurant. I’ve got to listen to the waiters badmouthing me at another table, sitting in a restaurant.”  Milton needs to stop eating at Dick’s Last Resort.

Here is my claim to fame – Caleb Thielbar. He lived kitty-corner to my house and we played basketball together in high school (which he hated, but was recruited to play division one in college). Either way, he was a two star athlete in Minnesota and went to South Dakota State University for four years and was drafted by the Brewers this summer in the 19th round. Not that we were great friends, but we know each other and I will continuously watch him (hopefully) progress through the minors.   Enough with my narcissism and attempt to claim some fame.

Jarrod Parker | SP | Arizona Diamondbacks | DOB: 11/24/89 | 6-0 | 180 lbs | Bats/Throws: Right | ARI #1 prospect according to Baseball America
The Cube: Control (88) | K-Rating (93) | Efficiency (91)

Drafted out of high school as the ninth pick in the first round in 2007 from an obscure town in Indiana, Parker has since marveled hundreds, possibly even thousands, with his fastball that seems to zip out of his hand from an effortless delivery. What makes that fastball so special? Well, that would be how it is clocked anywhere from 94 mph to 98 mph without Parker straining his mechanics. He also throws a power slider and a tight curve along with a change-up. Up until this year, his slider was his go-to pitch with his curve lacking consistency. However, this year in an interview he stated that he regards both as good pitches and is comfortable throwing either – but the slider is still his out-pitch. In high school, he never needed to throw a change-up and thus only started to throw it in the minor leagues. Interestingly, he had great feel for the pitch and it’s at least an average to above-average pitch. Pretty impressive if you ask me. Scouts and coaches claim he has great polish and personally, he seems to be a natural. With comparisons to Tim Lincecum, he has a lot to live up to.

08 (A) 8.95 K/9 | 2.52 BB/9 | 117 1/3 IP | .61 HR/9 | 3.44 ERA | 1.24 WHIP
09 (totals) 8.8 K/9 | 3.5 BB/9 | 97 1/3 IP | 3.14 ERA | 1.35 WHIP
09 (A+) 9.95 K/9 | 1.89 BB/9 | 19 IP | 0 HR/9 | .95 ERA | .84 WHIP
09 (AA) 8.5 K/9 | 3.91 BB/9 | 78 1/3 IP | .23 HR/9 | 3.68 ERA | 1.48 WHIP

Coming out of high school really limited the number of innings that Parker could pitch in 2008 as the Diamondbacks kept a tight pitch limit. Consequently, he never pitched more than seven innings, and he only pitched to seven once in 2008. Nevertheless, he showed why he was drafted so high. Due to his diminutive size, some people were led to believe that he wouldn’t succeed in a starting pitching role. He has proved them wrong since (he has a Roy Oswalt, Lincecum, and an Ian Snell like build) and has pitched like the star Arizona believes him to be. The K-rates are pretty, and the walks just became an issue this year upon his promotion to AA. This could be caused by “elbow tightness” that caused him to be DL’d on August 5th this year which lead to a visit to Dr. Freeze’s office (aka, Dr. James Andrew). This is either a bad thing or a precautionary visit. I am hoping the latter because of his repertoire of fastball/slider combo. Think of it this way (and this is how my mind is thinking too): Josh Johnson vs Francisco Liriano. Johnson has a fastball/change-up combo and Liriano has a fastball/slider combo. Which one is having a better year this year? That is why I am a tad fearful. Take the injury away, and I am gaga over Parker, though not like Mary Jane (sorry, I couldn’t resist any longer. It’s been eating at me the whole article).

Josh Vitters | 3B | Chicago Cubs | DOB: 8/27/89 | 6-2 | 190 lbs | Bats/Throws: Rights | CHC #1 prospect according to Baseball America
The Cube: Power (69) | Speed (13) | Contact (38) | Patience (7)

Just like Parker, Vitters was drafted in 2007 out of high school, but with a ton more hype. Playing baseball in southern California must do that to you. After lengthy contact negotiations, much like Strasburg, he missed any chance of playing in the summer leagues. Thus, he played in some Short Season ball too (just 51 AB in both Rookie and Short Season play). Looking forward to the 2008 season and actually hitting the ball (.118 Ave in those 51 AB), Vitters hurt his wrist in spring training. He attempted to play through the pain, but eventually had a two month disabled list trip. Consequently, this caused him to play Short Season again with 259 AB and no more injuries to his wrist.

After two mediocre years of minor league play, Vitters has finally turned it around this year hitting for a slash line of .289/.320/.471; but why is he still such a promising prospect? He has a smooth swing with above average power and little defensive skills. He drives the ball to the gaps well, is extremely “coachable,” has soft hands, a strong arm, below average range at third base, and has been compared to Pat Burrell. For a number three pick in the draft I think I would rather have more qualities than what I just listed off. Either way, this is what the Cubs have in Vitters and here are his stats so far:

07 (totals) .118/.164/.118 | 51 AB | 0/0 HR/2B | 30 K% | 3.2 BB%
08 (totals) .322/.365/.495 | 273 AB | 5/28 HR/2B
08 (A-) .214/.214/.429 | 14 AB | 0/3 HR/2B | 35.7 K% | 0 BB%
08 (SS) .328/.365/.498 | 259 AB | 5/25/.170 HR/2B/ISO | 17.4 K% | 4.8 BB%
09 (totals) .289/.320/.471 | 400AB | 16/17 HR/2B
09 (A) .316/.351/.535 | 269 AB | 15/12/.219 HR/2B/ISO | 15.6 K% | 2.5 BB%
09 (A+) .237/.254/.328 | 131 AB | 1/5/.094 HR/2B/ISO | 13.4 K% | 1.6 BB%

I sure hope that his smooth swing keeps swinging away as he walks less, or about the same as Delmon Young. Folks, that isn’t a compliment. Matter of fact, those K-rates … those are similar to Delmon Young too. Some positives, he started to finally hit for power this year, both gap and fence power. Not to be a Debbie Downer or to have a Vitters Vendetta, but I don’t trust those peripherals numbers. Scouts predicted that he would be in the majors by late 2010 and that was before this season started. This is all speculation, but I would expect to see him in early 2011 actually. He needs to develop patience, but Baseball America relayed that the Cubs were waiting for him to gain some confidence in his hitting before making adjustments to his approach. I smell bust. Maybe by the end of the year and starting next spring I will think differently. However, at this point I don’t really see him making it the majors and if he does, succeeding.

Eric Young, Jr. was in the September call up post, but it turns out he’s a preemie by a week.  Young has so many steals in the minors he’s worth a pickup in every league.  How many steals, you ask.  Well, I was getting there if you give me a second.  In the last four years of the minors, he has 87, 73, 46 and 58 steals, respectively.  Or disrespectfully, holy effin hey, are you kidding me?  In my never-ending rotation of schmohawks (thanks Beltran!), I dropped Alcides Escobar for Young in one league and chucked Drew Stubbs for him in another.  Will Young play every day?  Seems doubtful.  He has been playing in the outfield for at least a few days and will occasionally spell Barmes — B-A-R-M-E-S.  I think he’ll see four to five days a week, but for those needing steals, you know the drill.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Johan Santana – Done for the season.  This, and his lackluster (for him) season, might actually help Johan come at a discount in 2010 drafts.  I wouldn’t reach for him because I don’t believe in drafting pitchers early, but I could see him falling into the 5th or 6th rounds of early drafts.  The reason why I specify early is because once Johan looks good in spring training, he’ll bump up a round or two.  Then if Johan looks terrible in March, you’ll want to trade him for Nick Markakis.  Oh, and your fly’s open.  Don’t ask me how I know.

Billy Wagner – Headed to the Sox before The Curse of the Shirtless Bernazard got him.  He’ll back up Papelbon and, as a commenter pointed out yesterday, hopefully he turns out better than The Gagne Experiment™ in 2007.

Hank Blalock – Will be a bench player and will be asked to perform Cole Porter’s Anything Goes.  This is good news for Chris Davis.  Now for Davis to do something with this vote of confidence.

Freddy Sanchez – Headed to the DL.  Postdate this next comment 2011:  The Giants trade for Sanchez will cost them dearly.

Jake Peavy – Doode just can’t win.  On the next to last batter in his last minor league start, he was hit on the elbow by a comebacker.  Cue Kudrow, “I did not need to see that!”  Now because of elbow soreness, he might not be able to pitch this Saturday vs. the Yanks.

Joba Chamberlain – 4 IP, 7 ER.  He’s going again on regular rest this Sunday vs. the Orioles, so I can kinda understand holding him until then, but he’s really unstartable.  Then, on top of that, he’s been skipped here and there.  Okay, he’s not unstartable; he’s unownable.

Jorge Posada – Hit his 16th homer yesterday.  I’m calling a bogey on February Grey who said Posada was done.  He obviously was not done.  Being wrong at catcher is the position to be wrong at, but nevertheless still wrong.

Robinson Cano – Hit his 20th homer yesterday.  Not wrong here, because in the preseason I put him in the “Good value before we get to total Crapolanco” Tier.

Mat Latos – 7 IP, 2 baserunners, 0 ER in Atlanta.  I’m guessing a lot of people were sonavabenched on this one.

Jimmy Rollins – 2 HRs yesterday.  Coming up after the break, J. Rolled The Dorf.

Brad Lidge – No outs recorded, 3 earned.  Lidge has blown nine games this year, an 0-6 record and a 7.33 ERA.  If anyone happens to run into Lidge, give him my regards.  And, by regards, I mean the middle finger.  (BTW, On one team of mine, I had Lidge, Frank², Capps and Bell all give up runs and blow three saves.  Bad week to quit sniffing glue.)

Ryan Doumit – Obviously just needed the additional push of me putting him in Friday’s Sell.  He now has 2 homers in his last three games.

Travis Snider – Hit another homer yesterday and now two in three games.  I have an idea, stop Kemping him and move him up the order.

Carlos Pena – 2 HRs.  Six homers in the last week and a half.  On August 13th, I asked how many homers does Pena have left in his bat?  I gave the over/under of 13.  That means he has an over/under of 7 left.

Carlos Zambrano – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  I admire Big Z for returning from the DL with a mustache, but this start did not make ‘stached men proud.  No, sir.  Clay Zavada and I may need to have a word with him.

Josh Willingham – 4-for-4, 2 HRs, 5 Runs and 6 RBIs.  This is the total production of Jose Reyes’s 2009 season.

Zach Grienke – 8 IP, 2 ER, 15 Ks.  *speechless*

Adam Wainwright – 8 IP, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks.  His ERA is only .08 away from Greinke.  Cust kayin’.

Bronson Arroyo – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks.  Continued his post-All-Star break march of excellence.  He’ll fool someone next March who thinks he’s going to be good in April, May and June.

Felipe Lopez – 4-for-5 with his 8th homer.  He left the game in the ninth and is day-to-day.  It’s nice and all that he’s hitting .319, but 6 steals on the year is not buttering the biscuit.

Delmon Young – 4-for-5 yesterday.  Wait, Delmon Young actually had a good game yesterday?  Glory be!  Only 18 months after predicted.

Howie Kendrick – HR yesterday as he started only his third game in the last week.  In some ways, I kinda understand what Scioscia is doing with Kendrick’s playing time.  I mean, everyone on the Angels is slap-hitting .300 right now.  He could run out there Dick Schofield and he’d hit .300.

Laynce Nix/Jayson Nix – 3 HRs combined yesterday.  Their older brother, Jaymes Nix got drunk.

September 1st may mean autumn is around the corner for meteorologists, but you’re not Sam Champion, are you?  No, of course you’re not.  He’s handsome.  For us in the fantasy baseball trenches, September 1st means rosters expand and rookies are called up.  Unlike the September hitter call ups we went over yesterday, I’d use kid gloves with these call ups.  As Paula Dean might say, pitchers can hurt you, ya’ll.  If you need to take a flier on a rookie pitcher, tread carefully, young Razzball reader.  Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball, the pitchers:

Aaron Poreda – I’m crazy for HodgePadres, what can I say?  Actually, I just said it.  But even I’d be careful with Poreda.  In NL-Only leagues, yes, please.  Elsewhere, maybe home matchups.

Madison Bumgarner – Scouting the Unknown broke down, Madison Bumgarner.  Bumgarner will be one of those adds that everyone does and just about everyone regrets (this year).  Though I am prepping a giggle for when Bumgarner attacks Pujols with his number 2.

Tim Hudson – I heard this kid’s got good stuff.  Hope his call up goes smoothly, he might have a nice career ahead of him. /sarcasm

David Purcey – Blech.

Carlos Carrasco – I was bonkers for him in the preseason.  That’s the drawback to working without a net in December.  Carrasco’s hype I extolled was obviously a year too early.  Don’t worry, I’m go crazy for him again this offseason.  You’ve been caveated.

Hector Rondon – Is Wedge trying to get fired?  Are the Indians trying to lose?  Heffin’ hey in the screw hole, bring up Rondon and see what he can do.  Cause right now he do what he do and he do it in Triple A.  Over a 9 K/9 and under a 2 BB/9, which comes out to 42 Ks to 7 walks.

Wade Davis – For a while he looked better than David Price, then for a while he stopped striking out hitters.  And both “whiles” came in the minors, so there will be some growing pains, Kirk Cameron.

Dana Eveland – Had a long look last year and pitched well enough for AL-Only leagues.  Might have some matchup value in September.

Brandon Morrow – Not a rookie, but I think he can make a nice fantasy impact in September.  Worth grabbing in all leagues.

Todd Wellemeyer – He wasn’t that great when he was already in the majors.

Daniel McCutchen – What’s the chances the Pirates have another fantasy-worthwhile McCutchen?  Okay, combine those odds with the chances the Pirates have a worthwhile pitcher.

The Mets infirmary added a new member yesterday with Johan Santana complaining of elbow soreness.  M-E-S-S… Mess, Mess, Mess…  I can’t remember another team that has been this Kotchman-bitten.  Now pitching for the New York Mets… Angel Pagan.  He will also lead-off.  I don’t think in spring training when the Mets promised no September collapse they anticipated a June collapse.  Johan Santana may need surgery.  Or maybe he can return.  If you were the Mets, would you press your luck and hope for no whammy?  I mean this is more common sense than ‘pert sense.  Don’t do anything drastic until we hear more, but, as with anything Mets related this season, plan for the worse.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jeff Francoeur – Ligament tear in his thumb.  Frenchy’s toast?  This free swinger says to ball gag that thought.  Francoeur thinks he can continue to play.  It may be financially motivated… Oh, who are we kidding?  No one owns him.

Billy Wagner – Will stay with the Mets.  Anyone wanna take bets that he’ll be examined by a doctor for an injury by next Thursday?

Chris Davis – I mentioned him briefly in the September call ups post-a-ma-thingie yesterday.  He’ll get opportunities to be better than earlier in the year.  Can Davis provide you with some pop?  Um, yeah.  He can hit 10 homers in September alone.  Will he?  Sorry, the Magic Eight Ball’s in the shop.  He’s worth a flier if you need power.  Hank Blalock’s value will probably take the biggest hit with the Davis recall, but Blalock was hurting his own value anyway.

Pablo Sandoval – Left yesterday’s game in the 3rd with a tight calf.   If he were on the Mets, he’d be out for the year, which is to say he’s day-to-day.

Freddy Sanchez – Could be headed to the DL with a sore shoulder.  The same sore shoulder I could’ve told the Giants front office about prior to them trading away Tim Alderson for Sanchez.

Ryan Howard – 2 HRs yesterday and 7 homers in the last ten games.  The first homer was an opposite field shot where he was jammed and had no business hitting it out.  Somewhere, Frank Howard is requesting a paternity test.

Cliff Lee – 7 IP, 2 unearned runs, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Against the Mets lineup, the two unearned runs were probably a ticker shock to some.

Jose Contreras – 2 2/3 IP, 6 unearned runs.  Hey, Cliff, that’s not a ticker shock, this is a ticker shock.  Contreras heads to the bullpen and Peavy will probably take his Saturday start.

Gordon Beckham – HR yesterday.  He has been going through the usual rookie difficulties recently as he hits near .150 in the last week or so (<– now that’s some exact calculations!).  But he still has a few homers this month and 8 on the year.  I can’t wait to see where February Grey is going to rank him for 2010.  If I had to take a guess, I’d say around 150 with a blurb talking about how Beckham can outperform that draft spot.  Just as I was writing that, February Grey peeked his head in my office to say, “You don’t know me at all.”

Yovani Gallardo – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks and 4 flippin’ walks.  How about someone sign up Yovani, Kershaw and Scherzer for Be A Twinkie Fantasy Camp hosted by control freak, Brad Radke?

Scott Baker – 7 IP, 1 ER.  Now has a 12-7 record and hasn’t lost in almost two months though his ERA is at 4.47.  That immediately sent me looking up one thing — Run Support.  He has the 11th best in the majors with over 8 runs/game.  Cust kayin’.

Jason Frasor – Hasn’t pitched in almost a week and is being bothered by shoulder tendinitis, which may speed up Downs’s save chances.

Ben Zobrist – Hit his 4th homer in the last six games.  Kiss your imaginary girlfriend goodbye, cause I’m about to blow your mind.  At 2nd base, Zobrist has been more valuable this year than Kinsler.

Jason Marquis – 8 IP, 1 ER.  Sure, it was vs. the Giants, but Marquis has a 3.47 ERA on the year.  Incredible.

Roy Halladay – 6 IP, 7 ER.  After the game, Halladay was seen mumbling, “I coulda been in the NL.”

Randy Ruiz – Hit his 4th homer in 46 ABs since his call-up.  He’ll be exploited at some point but until then he can give you some pop.

Jason Giambi – Giambi sat down with his family to discuss his future, but they were unable to come to a decision.  Later that night, Giambi fell asleep on the couch.  In his dreams, the dwarf hooker from the movie, Orphan, greeted him with a pamphlet.  That pamphlet’s title, Choose Your Own Career Path.  Inside, there were two options.  1. Retire  2. Before you fade into oblivion, latch onto a team and become a pinch hitter.  Giambi woke in a sweat.  His wife asked if he had to do number two and Giambi rapidly nodded, he did.