Here at Razzball we don’t believe in protesting a fantasy baseball trade, but we do fully support passive-aggressive, sarcastic belittling.  So if someone in your league completed a trade that makes you wish they’d walk into oncoming traffic, you’re in luck!  Here’s a Mad Libs-type tirade to post in your league’s messageboard because when met with pettiness, you should retaliate with more pettiness.  Simply copy the below and fill in the appropriate words.  You may use this post to antagonize your closest friends, enemies or frenemies with the express written consent of  Also, feel free to post your version in the comments.

To Those That Passed That (adjective) Trade,

When I saw the trade of (Player(s) Traded Away) for (Player(s) Received), I contemplated vetoing the trade, but even one trade veto can have a domino effect and before you know it every trade is being vetoed.  Instead, I decided to take the high road and just voice my disagreement on this message board.  Though I do sometimes question my leaguemates’ ability to read something that isn’t scribbled in crayons.  On the bright side, you two (plural derogatory name) who were involved in the trade can use this post to practice your reading comprehension.  It’s not too late for that GED!

Since no one has the courtesy to respond to my trade offers, I figured you two were busy hanging out with your significant others.  You know, your mothers.  “No, Mom, I have friends.  The phone just rang the other day.  Now please pass the Miracle Whip.  Your chicken salad is dry.”  Or maybe you were busy making up excuses for walking in on your sister while she’s showering.  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear the water running.”  Or maybe you two were busy (verb) each other in your (adjective) (body part).

It’s obviously your strategic prerogative to make any trades you want, as it’s my prerogative to wish you both harm.  So, douchetards, I have an idea.  Rather than digging through dumpsters for discarded porno mags, how about you two (plural derogatory name) get together and punch each other in the face?

The Guy Who Is Still Going To Beat Both Of You,


P.S. Anyone need a closer?

  1. Spartacus says:


    You are a Classic!!!! The best part is the P.S. hehe


  2. Eddie says:

    Funny, but far more “aggressive-aggressive” than I was expecting. Not exactly Minnesota Nice.

  3. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Spartacus: Thanks!

    @Eddie: Yeah, well I’m from Jersey, it’s sweet there.

  4. GTG says:

    slow day in the roto news universe…

  5. Isaac says:

    Grey 3:16

  6. TheBravesWearPrado says:

    Someone in my league just dropped Adam Lind. Should I be running out to grab him? The only player I would consider dropping for him is Willingham although I wish I could send Kemp to fantasy Triple A to teach him a lesson.

  7. El Famous Burrito says:

    Whoa dude, what prompted this?

    It’s not my fault that the other guy doesn’t realize that there are 2 Francisco Rodriguezezezes out there.

    Or that Mike Stanton and Steve Stone are two different guys.

    Or that Clutchy McFivetooler is a completely fake name.

  8. struggler says:

    I’m trying to navigate through the thorny patches of interleague play in a H2H league with QS rather than W’s. I have two starts this week that I’m not looking foward to…E-Jax and Kennedy @ TB. Kennedy’s ERA is 2 runs higher on the road but his WHIP is still a stellar 1.18 on the year. His next start is @ STL.

    That said, would you drop Kennedy for Gio who gets Cincy and Pit @ home this week? Odds are Kennedy will get scooped off waivers but I will need to make room for Bills, DLR and Volquez coming off the DL. What do you think?

  9. Martin says:

    @grey- what do you think of c-grand right now? His avg and OPS suck, he hasnt hit many homers in Coors Field East, and he is not running because of the groin? Should i try and trade him?

  10. TonyCino says:

    12 team 10×10 roto mixed league 5OF + UT format

    My OF: Kemp, Holliday, JUpton, Rasmus, Boesch, Bruce, Stanton
    I need another stud pitcher. Is giving Sandoval and Rasmus for Cliff Lee, too much, too little or just right?


  11. peter says:

    Better 2 start option this week?

    Vargas (ChC, @Mil)
    Niese (Det, Min)

    With those match ups, my gut says to pass on the Niese pipe and climb aboard the Vargas train. The thing is, a weird thing happened to me at the county fair this weekend. After grabbing some fried dough, I went to the funhouse with Livan Hernandez. So we’re in the hall of crazy mirrors when Livan yells out excitedly, pointing to the “skinny” mirror, “Hey – look at me! I’m Jason Vargas!” My gut hasn’t felt quite right, since. But it could be the fried dough.

  12. chris says:

    12 Team, Dynasty Keeper League

    My 2B range from: Wiggington, Desmond and Carlos Guillen.

    My SP’s are: Haren, Weaver, Nolasco, Oswalt, Marcum, Sanchez, Lewis, Medlen

    I would get back Brandon Phillips

    I would give up Jered Weaver


  13. peter says:

    @Martin: Depends on what you’d be able to get for him. I don’t expect that you’d get much, right now. I’m holding onto him for now. No, the average hasn’t been there, but he has 4 HR since coming back from the injury, and about 10 xbh in that time. And, given the lineup and his home park, only a slight improvement to avg will yield good returns in R/RBI. Only place to go is up…

  14. struggler says:

    Done! thanks
    I hate giving up on young guys with low WHIP’s, almost a K per inning, and working in the NL West…wait why did I just do that?

    Eh, at least they’ll probably shut him down at some point.

  15. Fletch says:

    @Grey: I think I might roll with Gio and his 2 home starts over Latos and his 2 away starts against solid teams. What do you think?

    Also, you think DLR is worth adding over Medlen or Floyd?

  16. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Martin: Agree with Peter.

    @TonyCino: It’s a bit much.

    @peter: The skinny mirror – ha! Vargas.

    @chris: It’s fair.

    @struggler: Yeah, I like him, but you would’ve had to make room anyway.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Fletch: I’d go with Latos. dlR over Floyd.

  18. hoju says:

    Bitching about trades after-the-fact is one thing, but I like to call out the lowballers of the league so they earn a bad reputation.

    Dear Mr. Lowball,

    It is quite possible that you’re a nice person. I’ve only heard good things about you. I’m sure that you are great at negotiating what to eat for dinner with your significant other. Getting to eat red meat once a week must be nice among all those nights of steamed brocolli and Dancing with the Stars. I’m sure the tango is tougher than it looks.

    However, when you offer me Ervin Santana and Gavin Floyd for Alex Rodriguez, I have to say something. You see, I’m all for discussing openly about any trade, but when you tell me that this is the very best you can offer while your staff has names like Adam Wainwright and Josh Johnson on it, I tend not to believe you. I’m writing this letter because I care for my leaguemates, and I feel that I’m not the only one you’re trying to swindle.

    I’m not sure what happened when you clicked “send” on the proposal, but please let us know if your wife has control of your testicl….sorry, I mean team….just so we know who to talk to from here on out. I wish you the best from here on out and the respect you’ve likely gained from everyone here at (league name) with your one-sided offers.

    Yours truly,
    The defending and three-time Champion

  19. Art Vandelay says:

    Ha, well done as always, sir.

    Follow up on a prior trade offer:

    Thinking of offering Bucholz/Price/Nunez for Fielder/Marcum. I am pitching rich and looking to upgrade my offense. Do the deal?

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @hoju: Ha, nice!

    @Art Vandelay: Thanks! I’d trade less pitching for Fielder and forget Marcum. Say Buchholz and Nunez for Fielder.

  21. Alex says:

    I just lost Tulo and a guy in my league has Reyes and Andrus so i offered him My Verlander for Reyes straight up and Verlander for Andrus and Valverde. Are these good offers?

    i have a good pitching staff but unfortunately drafted Morales, Sizemore, Tulo and Cruz for my offense.(could i have worse luck!)

  22. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Alex: Both are fair, I’d take Reyes first.

  23. broadstreetbrawler says:


    Both me and a leaguemate read razzball, and since he makes trades exclusively off what you say, which side.

    Jroll or David Price

  24. TheBravesWearPrado says:

    How does CarGo for Josh Johnson sound? Does Cargo seem like enough or should I throw in a starter of my own say a Wilson or LeBlanc?

  25. Art Vandelay says:

    @Grey: I already offered Price and Valverde for Fielder and got turned down. My feeling was that Bucholz and Marcum are probably close enough to a push on ERA/WHIP the rest of the way (C.B. pitching well above his xFIP so far) although admittedly Bucholz ought to get me more wins. Are you worried about Marcum’s injury risk?

  26. mc serch says:

    Hey Grey…is Morneau/Price for Tex too much, or is it a brilliant sell high/sell high for a buy low?

  27. Caleb says:

    That’s weird, Grey. Someone in my league just traded Carl Crawford for Mark Reynolds and Magglio Ordóñez. I don’t know how this is fair but it kinda sucks, because the guy who gets Crawford just took 1st place from me and it looked like I was just about to take it back…

  28. tHe ShiT says:

    @Grey: Thoughts on S-Rod? Has he come back down 2 earth, just a minor bump in the road? That said, with Cruz coming back 2moro, I could drop him 2 stash a Volquez or DLR. Thoughts sir?

  29. Steve says:

    Loved the Pence reference in the previous post. It was so (ahem) money.

    Now the Astros just need to trade for Buck and hire Schilling.

  30. Grey

    Grey says:

    @broadstreetbrawler: It’s fair, I’d prefer Price.

    @TheBravesWearPrado: I’d want Johnson. See if he’ll go for it, if not I’d throw in Wilson or LeBlanc.

    @Art Vandelay: Yeah, Marcum’s riskier. It’s a lot considering Fielder’s struggles. Trade with someone else if he won’t be reasonable.

    @mc serch: It’s too much.

    @Caleb: That sucks, but it’s not that crazy of a trade.

    @tHe ShiT: Waking up late today huh? Stash dlR, lose Sean-Rod.

    @Steve: Ha, nice ones.

  31. tHe ShiT says:

    @Grey: Actually yes, but was paying more attn 2 the laker parade on tv. Now that its over, back 2 beisbol… so u think DLR will contribute more than Volquez? Or is the injury 2 the middle finger less of a concern over the tj surgery?

  32. yanks4life says:

    Gotta pick up and drop someone for Tulo. Pick up Alexei or Theriot? Drop Lind, Pierre, or Alvarez? Was hoping Alvarez was going to be an upgrade over Ian Stewart for me

  33. Commish Cauda says:

    H2H-POINTS League

    Which side?

    Prince Fielder & Orlando Cabrera FOR A-Rod & Ian Desmond

  34. Grey

    Grey says:

    @tHe ShiT: Yeah, less worried about the middle finger than TJ. I’d own both though in the right circumstances.

    @yanks4life: Alexei… Drop Alvarez.

    @Commish Cauda: I’d take A-Rod.

  35. penpen says:

    @Grey: Hamilton for the Adverb?

  36. Commish Cauda says:


    How about this then?

    Fielder and Car-Go FOR A-Rod & Gomes

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @penpen: It’s fair, depends on needs. Lee’s safer.

    @Commish Cauda: I’d take Fielder’s side.

  38. tHe ShiT says:

    @Grey: Gotcha. Lookin at my waiver wire, i c Matusz, Hammel, Paulino, Masterson, Arroyo, Cahill, Garland, Lilly. Im not in dire need of pitching, just want depth. So, do i still stash DLR or pick up one of the other guys?

  39. Bill E says:

    In a 16 team league who is better for the remainder of the season – tabata or colvin (slugging and BBs)

  40. penpen says:

    @Grey: Would it be better to take Lester instead of Lee? Or push?

  41. John C. says:

    Hey Grey. I just wanted to say awesome work first of all; this is my favorite FBB site. The personal replies to FBB questions haev been awesome, too.

    I wanted to ask – my Cliff Lee for his Derek Jeter? I’ve got nothing at SS all year (Bartlett, Aviles, formerly A.Escobar and Everth Cabrera) and my pitching is (hopefully) solid enough behind Lee: Weaver, J. Sanchez, Latos, Lilly, Vazquez, Scherzer, B. Anderson, with nunez, rauch, dotel, heilman at closer

    Question is in terms of value – i can see C.Lee being traded to a contender and getting lots of wins. Is Jeter worth it?

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @tHe ShiT: I’d grab Lilly.

    @Bill E: Colvin…

    @penpen: Push.

    @John C.: Thanks for the kind words! That’s a fair trade for you, but I’d prefer Lee. Just slot in Bartlett or hot SS schmohawk and hope for the best.

  43. Sal says:

    @Grey: Thoughts on Cecil this week? Two rough ones…

    Pick one for this week – Cecil, Gio, Cueto or good ol’ Dotel for this week? Think I may roll with Dotel this week as the team Im going up againat goes with all RP’s.

  44. Commish Cauda says:


    Last follow-up. What about if it were Panda instead of Fielder?

    Panda & Car-go FOR A-Rod & Gomes


  45. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Sal: Dotel…

    @Commish Cauda: It’s fair, I’d take the Panda side if you need an OF upgrade.

  46. Art Vandelay says:

    @Grey: Thanks. Interestingly, last week I thought I was going to get Fielder and Marcum for just Price and Bucholz (no Nunez), and you told me to go for it.

    I’m dominating the pitching categories and I’ve still got F-Her, Hamels, Kershaw, Javy Vazquez, Kennedy, and C.J. Wilson, so I feel ok with giving up some pitching (especially since I think Price and CB are due for a fall off). I also want to move Morneau (my current 1B). It’s definitely a close call, but I’m currently in first so maybe I shouldn’t mess with a good thing.

  47. Commish Cauda says:


    I’m just trying to move A-Rod and maybe buy low on Fielder at the same time. The guy also owns Panda, so I asked in case he counter’s with him instead.

    I’m a Yankee fan and watch A-Rod every game. I think A-Rod’s age is catching up to him and the hip is just another thing to slow him down. His speed has always been a boost in value for him (H2H league; steals=3pts.), but I don’t see him now running as much this year.

    If Fielder can wake up…and I believe he will…I think he can equal A-Rod in the 2nd half…netting me the nice upgrade from Car-Go to Gomes for free.

  48. Commish Cauda says:

    edit: from Gomes to Car-Go for free

  49. nick m. says:

    could you pick 2 for spot starts this week? piniero vs. lad (wed), carmona @ phl (thurs), pavano @ mets (sat), cahill @ pit (sat)

  50. chrisbenson says:

    grey, need some help on these two questions

    ranking some guys on the wire i can grab…matchups guys:
    takahashi, myers, buehrle, bumgarner

    also, worth it to hang onto adam laroche for post ASB magic? or na?

  51. tHe ShiT says:

    @Grey: Alrite, well 2 b honest I really dont like Lilly at all. He gives me a bad feeling the way Burnett, Haren, Myers, Lackey, n a few others do. Thats why I dont own them in any leagues. Ill think about it. I would rather have upside though. Thx Grey.

  52. tHe ShiT says:

    @Grey: Oh yeah another guys that scares me is ur favorite player, James Shields…

  53. Mr.MojoRisin says:

    I hope I don’t see this in my league soon!
    I just got Matt Holliday for Cantu and Aroldis. If the 3rd place team wasn’t on vacation and away from a computer for the week, I don’t think it would have passed as it fell 1 vote short of being vetoed.
    The only thing that sucked was the trade was agreed upon on Thursday and then I lost Tulo on Friday. Now I need a SS and don’t have the allure of Aroldis’ potential anymore!

  54. Commish Cauda says:

    @tHe ShiT: Lilly is one of the most underrated arms in baseball. And don’t forget, he might get traded to a contender. He’s not a week-in, week-out starter, but I’d say he’s a 75% start guy.

  55. Commish Cauda says:

    FYI…Dexter Fowler hit for the cycle yesterday down in AAA. Deep leaguers take note.

  56. Commish Cauda says:

    Grey…a while back you told me to stash Chris Davis instead of Scott Sizemore in one of my two minors spots in a deep 16-team keeper league, (players in the minors as of Aug. 31 can be kept next year for free).

    Two stud pitching prospects…Kyle Gibson and Mike Montgomery…are also available. Lose Davis for one of the young guns, or hold tight?


  57. Fonzie Guillen says:

    Thoughts on which side to take for this trade?

    Adrian Gonzalez for Mark Teixeira

    I guess it depends on whether or not you think Teixeira is going to pull out of the funk?

  58. cashmoney says:

    need a 3b.who would u take. … Lopez, chipper, walker, bautista or wiggington?

  59. Nuke LaDouche says:

    Trade Jimenez for Votto and Hamels? Seems like not enough to me.

  60. pat says:

    Side A:
    Billy Butler, Matt Kemp, Jon Lester

    Side B:
    Joey Votto, Josh Hamilton, Johan Santana

    I guess it comes down to Hamilton vs Kemp… who do you think will be better for the rest of the year?

  61. Grey — Love the Mad Libs response. I don’t know how you come up with great stuff every day.

    A speculative hold question: who do you like more for possible holds over the rest of the season between Demel, Lyons, and League?

  62. royce! says:

    @Nuke LaDouche: I think that’s enough. There are maybe 15-20 players who have been more valuable than Votto all year, and nothing in his peripherals says fluke to me. Ubaldo, however, is great but getting lucky. And Hamels has a higher k/9 and a lower bb/9 than Ubaldo.

  63. Nuke LaDouche says:

    Thanks royce!

  64. Bring Back Pluto says:

    Grey, is there any reason to think that Madison Bumgarner will be more valuable than John Ely the rest of this year?

  65. 7th Place says:

    I’ve got Crawford and I’m trying to follow your advice and sell him. In what order would you rank the following offers for Utley:

    Crawford for Utley
    Crawford/Brandon Phillips for Utley/Gardner
    Crawford/Phillips for Utley/Werth

    To add to the context, steals are on the waiver wire (hopefully Borbon starts running) and Ellsbury is on my DL.

  66. GTS says:

    Castro or A. Escobar at SS?

  67. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Art Vandelay: Don’t mess with a good thing.

    @Commish Cauda: Cool…

    @nick m.: Pavano and Cahill…

    @chrisbenson: Hold LaRoche. Myers, punt, Takahashi…

    @tHe ShiT: Gotcha

    @Mr.MojoRisin: That’s a nice trade for you.

    @Commish Cauda: Yeah, saw that on Fowler. I’d continue to hold Davis for now.

    @Fonzie Guillen: I’d prefer Tex, but there’s no reason to make that trade.

    @cashmoney: Punt? Bautista…

    @Nuke LaDouche: I’d take Votto and Hamels.

    @pat: I’d take side A.

    @Enrique: Thanks! League…

    @Bring Back Pluto: Yup

    @GTS: Alcides…

  68. Grey

    Grey says:

    @7th Place: Or Utley straight up. Or Gardner one, in that order.

  69. thejvp says:

    outstanding work

  70. AubreyHuffingGlue says:

    Should I drop Slowey for Trevor Cahill? No bench, 5×5, [email protected] team roto league with weekly rosters. Cahill has PIT this week, Slowey has NYM, but if I drop slowey, I may not be able to get him back — not that that necessarily matters.

  71. Quimmy says:

    Stanton or romero/alvarez? Thx in advance.

  72. Fonzie Guillen says:

    Fair point. How about this one, which was just offered to me in a 14-team H2H league where closers went incredibly early, so I’ve been scuffling with Dotel, Axford, and F. Rodney as my relievers?

    I get Neftali Feliz and give Billingsley.

    My current staff is: Price, Liriano, Lester, Marcum, LeBlanc, Correia, John Ely, the three relievers above, Billingsley (DL), and Volquez (DL).

  73. Dexter says:

    To fill CI would you prefer Chipper or Gaby Sanchez?

  74. Fonzie Guillen says:

    Thanks, Grey.

  75. SpiralArchitect says:

    Starter question:

    I have 1 position left between DH and 3B, based on how I use the players.

    I can start either David Wright or Carlos Santana.

    Ride the hot streak with Santana or play it safe?

  76. royce! says:

    Just pulled off the least interesting trade of the year in my 14 team h2h- my Pineiro (picked him up off the wire last week) for his Arroyo (whom he hasn’t started all year). Watch out, world!

  77. The Peoples Champ says:

    I usually don’t comment, but I have to take my hat off to you on this one. At this point in the season, just about every manager is looking to deal, and I’m getting lowballs left and right. As the commish, I put through some trades that really make me wonder why people bother donating their money to the league year after year. Friday I cringed while I processed Clay Buchholz for Stephen Drew, but the guy REALLY needed a SS. Then this morning the guy that just stole Buchholz traded him AND Pedro Alvarez for Martin Prado. If I’ve ever seen a “sell high,” Prado for Buchholz and Alvarez is it.

    This post made my day, and is why this is the best fantasy baseball site out there.

  78. tHe ShiT says:

    @Grey: Since my only closer is Soria and he doesnt get as many opps as he should, should I drop him 2 stash Volquez?

  79. Steve says:

    Grrr. Don’t they know that Wilson Betimit is 5-12 against Livan?

    Why the hell else would I start him?

  80. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Ha, that’s so frustrating when you grabbed a guy for a short schedule day and he doesn’t play.

  81. Steve says:

    @Grey: I’m sweating on the pinch-hit grand slam.

  82. Real Tom says:

    That’s why I trade at the beginning of the season when you can rob people blind and there are no vetos. Everyone has potential, so it’s harder to really make a judgment.

    I’m still enjoying my Hardy for Andrus trade.

  83. kangaroo hops says:

    Just to be picky, it’s probably best not to use a sentence fragment in a paragraph where you deride others about their reading comprehension. See “Though I do sometimes question my leaguemates’ ability to read something that isn’t scribbled in crayons.” Otherwise, just swell!

  84. barker says:

    in my twenty team league need to drop a reliever counts holds

    charles newhouse wood benoit storen feliciano soriano axford heilman

    im thinkin newhouse feliciano or heilman

    my shitty trade of maggs and masterson for soriano and teahen went through b4 i could cancel it. now im stuck — why did i even bother — i guess teahen is comin back soon — arrrrgghhhh

    also can i lose jhoulys chacin??
    or livan hernandez ( cant trade him if i offered money on the side )

    PS this is my worst trade maybe ever didnt expect him to take it at all
    no one trades in this league

  85. sal says:

    @Grey: headley or jose guillen going forward?

  86. barker says:

    i totally forgot (sorry) but this is the reason for the dilemma new house qualifies at SP so i kinda need him for that spot so its heilman or feliciano sorry for the double post for a virtually meaningless Question — its just kinda tough i like pedro but the saves are too much to ignore with heilman and im a met fan so i know all about his perils — maybe bench a reliever say wood and lose hernandez to open a spot while i package one of these “closers” for some type of offensive piece ???

    P lineup looks like this SP SP SP SP RP RP RP P P P

  87. Grey

    Grey says:

    @sal: Guillen…

    @barker: Lose Feliciano.

  88. Steve says:

    Livan Hernandez v Bruce Chen.

    Is that like two bald men fighting over a comb?

  89. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Two women fighting over Gary Coleman’s ashes?

  90. Steve says:

    @Grey: Whatever it is, if Betimit was in the lineup, the Royals would have this game in the bag by now.

  91. tHe ShiT says:

    What an uneventful day for baseball.

  92. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: You can be sure of that.

    @tHe ShiT: But it’s the Nats vs. Royals!

  93. tHe ShiT says:

    @Grey: Hey Bruce Chen got a base hit! Woooohoooo!

  94. Steve says:

    @Grey: Takin’ Big Z for a ride in the RCL.

    Hey, I’m a 1 in Wins. It can’t get any worse, right?

  95. @Grey: Howdy Grey. Fantastic! This post had me laughing my ass off. It actually sounds like something one of my buddies wrote after a particularly bad trade a few years back. I hope I don’t have to use your form letter as we approach the trade deadline this season… Stuff can sometimes get whacky in a keeper league.

    So I’ve proposed a trade in my 6×6 – OBP/QS keeper: Rausch & Posey for Dan Haren. What say you? I have a feeling Haren’s not long for ‘Zona.

  96. tHe ShiT says:

    I guess Zimmerman’s 3 walks are better than 3 strikeouts…

  97. Steve says:

    @tHe ShiT: It’s a pity Dunn has failed to drive him in every, single, effing time.

  98. Joe says:

    I was just offered Josey Reyes for Lincecum. I have the pitching to survive the loss and I just lost Tulo to his wrist injury. What do you think, should I sell low on Lincecum and buy high on Reyes? I want to make sure I’m not crazy.

  99. Grey

    Grey says:

    @tHe ShiT: Maybe he can go the herbathrowdite route.

    @Steve: No, that’s the cutoff.

    @3FingersBrown: Thanks! I’d take Haren.

  100. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Joe: I’d want Lincecum.

  101. AL KOHOLIC says:

    just got back from sunny long beach,awesome week we had,weather was great,huntington beach had giant waves,all was great except corpas and his shitty pitching,now back to the humidity

  102. Steve says:

    @tHe ShiT: You jinxed him.

  103. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Grey: a little body surfing,no i never have but i think ill try it next time

  104. Steve says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Funny few days in the ol’ keeper.

  105. Eddy says:

    Do I have them in the correct order from most to least production from here on out?

    Carlos Santana, Buster Posey, Wieters

  106. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: yeah,k-dog was about to cry i think

  107. Steve says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: He’s crying because a mere New Zealander is in first.

  108. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: he really ticked me off,sounded like a 3 year old,i wouldnt veto but i should have known he wouldnt man up,spoiled brat

  109. Steve says:

    Lannan’s been sent down. For what, I’m not quite sure if the manager’s statement is any indication…

    ““The best thing for John is to send him out and see if he can get straightened out down below,” Riggleman said…

  110. Terrence Mann says:

    Pretty good stuff but not your best work. You know how ESPN rates all plays on the Buehrle-meter? IMO, all Grey posts are ranked on the Seymour Butts Sushi – meter.

    That post gets a 7.

  111. pwire says:

    Is Ian Stewart done? Would you trade Randy Wells for him?

  112. mc serch says:

    @Grey: Thanks Grey…I kinda like the idea of trading high on Morneau and Price….Morneau is my utility with Prince at 1B…who should I target with a Morneau/Price package? Kemp? Miggy?

  113. Robert says:

    @Grey: Another concerned Ian Stewart owner here. From here on out, Stewart on Arizona’s LaRoche for CI? Thanks.

  114. Grey

    Grey says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Nice…

    @Eddy: Santana, Wieters….

    @Steve: Ha!

    @Terrence Mann: Thanks!

    @pwire: I wouldn’t say he’s done. Can trade him for Wells if you like, no idea of what’s available on waivers, but I can’t imagine Wells is a huge upgrade from that.

    @mc serch: Miggy or Kemp, in that order.

    @Robert: LaRoche…

  115. Terrence Mann says:


    Grey, I know you frown upon changing team names in the razz leagues but I really wanna change my team name to Karabell has a Posse.

  116. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Terrence Mann: It makes the job of updating the standings go from 15 minutes to about 45 minutes trying to figure out which teams changed names.

  117. pat says:

    what type of starting pitcher could i get for Josh Hamilton right now?

  118. Steve says:

    @Terrence Mann: Grey is your mother, and is saying “Well dear, you must do what you think is right… “

  119. Grey

    Grey says:

    @pat: Around Wainwright’s level.

    @Steve: Ha

  120. Steve says:

    @Grey: “Only you can make that decision” is another mother’s classic.

  121. Terrence Mann says:


    OK, boss. Legend of Biancalana stays as is.

  122. Terrence Mann says:

    She won’t be mad at me as much as she’ll be disappointed in me.

  123. Terrence Mann says:


    I think you all have forgotten my fallback:

    “If Grey says “No”, ask Rudy!

  124. barker says:

    suzuki or montero or olivo ROS

  125. Steve says:

    @Terrence Mann: Of course! My daughters have tried it out often enough on me – you’d have thought I’d be ready for it.

  126. Steve says:

    @Grey: As I’m sure you can appreciate, I can’t quite trust Ibanez in my LF spot in my 14-team H2H league at the moment.

    Boesch and Delmon are both available and are LF-eligible.

    I don’t have to drop anyone (I’m hoping Ibanez turns it on in the second half) – who should I grab?

  127. alvaro says:

    Ive been offered Kendrick and Vernon Wells for Konerko or Dunn

    Its a points league and I have figgins at second.

    Also who would you rather have the rest of the yr. Lincecum or Liriano


  128. and1mcgee says:

    I give Posey and Scherzer and get Feliz? or Hart? (just based on value) do I win either? both? none? (did I cover all the possibilities??? jk)


  129. Steve says:

    @Grey: Thanks! One more – Aviles or F Sanchez to pick up some KJ slack? Dude is ice-cold right now.

  130. Grey

    Grey says:

    @alvaro: Lincecum… I’d give Konerko for those two.

    @and1mcgee: I’d take Hart.

    @Steve: Aviles… You just reverse jinxed him too.

  131. Steve says:

    @Grey: Perhaps I should just stick to the jokes.

  132. Ben says:

    thanks grey. this post came at the perfect time. just today in my pay league, the guy in last place sent sandoval to the guy in first for hawpe. me being in second, it really pissed me off. i was about to post this on the league message board but the guy in last who traded sandoval is also the commissioner. what kinda power does he have to get back at me because if hes immature enough to give away players to his buddies in a serious league i think hed be immature to screw me over.

  133. tHe ShiT says:

    Thats what I get 4 benching J-Up in a league. I benched Holliday in the same league last week… ultimate sonovabench!

  134. alvaro says:

    @Grey: thanks

    Looks like I missunderstood the deal. He wants Lincecum and Konerko for Buster Posey, Liriano, Wells and Kendrick.
    Its a non keeper league.

    Seems like I can get more for Lincecum plus I would have to drop 2 players (probably Brian ROberts and Wandy)

    Its a Strasburg and Konerko for Liriano too much as a counter offer?

  135. Byrd says:

    Would anyone here take A-Rod and give up Zimmerman in a trade?

  136. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Ben: Yeah, that trade is pretty lame.

    @tHe ShiT: Ouch

    @alvaro: Too much on both, the trade and the counter.

    @Byrd: Nope

  137. Byrd says:

    @ Grey:

    Thanks. There are some STUPID people in my league.

  138. @Grey: I finally cracked and picked up DeJesus in favor of Tabata. As a buddy in my league said, “you better wear a condom because that guys been on just about every roster in the league.”

    I suppose that means I’ll have to change my team’s name from “Tabata’s Baby” to “Don’t Fuck With DeJesus.”

  139. ETMcgee says:

    Keeper league: ubaldo for longoria?

  140. Ryan says:

    Who to drop to activate Cruz? 10 Team h2h


    leaning towards dbag Swisher

  141. bravo says:

    would you start these pitchers:

    ervin vs LAD
    baker at MIL

    thanks in advance, grey.

  142. Paul says:

    Just thought that I’d say a kind word on the behalf of the maligned. Won a 14 team H-H last year largely owing to DeJesus and Sweeney (someone had to play CF and when your stud goes down a replacement need be found). For instance, for the week Sept 7-13, with Hits and OBP as added categories, DeJesus went 11-29 with 6 R and 3 BB. Then following week, Sept 14-20, he had Monday and Thursday off, but over Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, went 4-13 with 3 R, 3 RBI, and 1 HR. Then on the Sat the 19th he got hurt and was 0-1 on the day. Sweeney from the free agent pool for Sun the 20th. Went 2-5 with 2 RBI. Then for the week, Sept 21-27, well, Sept 26 was his last game for my team, and so Sept 21-26, Sweeney was 11-26 with 8 R and 2 RBI. Lastly, and by the way, such is why H-H is infinitely preferable to roto. David and Ryan are what they are, which isn’t all that great, but for 2 weeks there in September 2009……just like in real life, wherein some relative no name steps up in a playoff and/or the world series and etches his name forever in your mind (in other words, 2009 fantasy baseball will always be remembered by me as the year that David DeJesus and Ryan Sweeney led The Electric Co to fantasy glory).

  143. Craig Sanderson says:

    Trade 1- Utley & Headley for Ludwick & Jose Guillen.
    Trade 2- Utley & Headley for Hunter & Zobrist.
    Trade 3- Utley, Headley or Calaspo for Brandon Phillips, Shinn Soo Choo & Franklin (STL closer). My team has
    c- Olivo, 1b Billy Butler, 2b Utley, 3b Longoria, ss Bartlett/Orlando Cabrea, 2b/3b Alberto Callaspo, 1b,2b,3b Prado, 1b,OF Cuddyer, Of Holliday, Of Gomes, of/Dh Hideki Matsui, OF/DH Quentin, Of Rasmus, 3b/of Headley, 1b/of/dh Aubrey Huff and Pitching SP Wainwright, Y. Gallardo, Ricky Romero, Scherzer, Gio Gonzales and RP Broxton, Fuentes, Marmol, Nunez, and Billingsley on the DL. Any thoughts would be appreciatied.

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