A.J. Griffin‘s initials stand for Alfredo Jettuccine. Fact! At this point, I’d own all A’s pitchers. It’s Moneyball II, starring Don Swayze and the daughter is played by a dwarf. What, it’s straight-to-video, and the video is VHS because Don Swayze’s fans keep it real. Alfredo Jettuccine looked like a mediOAKer, and you needed to […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just when you thought the hype for Ichiro Suzuki couldn’t get more unwarranted along comes a trade to the Yankees. There’s a short porch! There’s a jet stream! There’s more media scrutiny which will have him more focused! Iron Chef Morimoto will be preparing him pre-game meals! A-Rod’s been learning how to say, “You are […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
I got the sense from comments and other non-scientific criteria that people were looking to get a feel for Trevor Bauer. Or at least get their grubby little hands on him. I did say to buy him back in April and again in May, but who can remember that far; I can barely remember how […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
R.A. Dickey went seven and a third innings with no runs and eight Ks as he dueled Wang. Dickey vs. Wang was the greatest sword fight since Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme both arrived at the same tanning salon in the late 80’s. In this game, surprisingly there weren’t that many dribblers through the vas […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andy Pettitte managed to shut out the Rays yesterday for 7 1/3 IP with only 4 baserunners and 10 Ks. No wonder why he returned. He was probably sick of beating his kids at MLB 2K12. “Dad, we don’t mind you playing our video games while we’re at school, but could you stop spitting tobacco onto […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Joyce a sell? Now I will bite my lip and try not to sob. Quiet, gentle sobs that Joyce used to assuage. Joyce and I had something together that no one else can understand. Well, maybe some of you that also own him can understand it, but the rest of you never will. We […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
The man who looks like the man from Man Vs. Food’s father, Lance Berkman, is on a ginormous Kaiser roll. Speaking of pastry, it’s not a coincidence that Lance Berkman’s initials are LB. When he got to St. Louis, he asked the cabbie where the second arch is and why isn’t it painted gold. […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Narveson, his name makes me think of the insurance guy from Groundhog Day. Am I right or am I right-right? His name also would sound good recited by Chris Cornell. Chris Narveson, won’t you come and wash away the rain? Won’t you come. Won’t you come. Narveson was in my top 80 starters. Let’s […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
These are the leading hitters in the major leagues for April. Do I think every hitter does the same thing every year? No, I don’t. But hitters do tend to follow patterns. If these players were good in April last year, there’s at least a chance they will be good this year. Also, as I […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball are a shallow bowl of dung and ranked only ahead of the catchers for depth. All the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2011 fantasy baseball rankings. (Don’t worry, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to link to things a […]Please, blog, may I have some more?