Please see our player page for Ian Hamilton to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

It’s nearly freaking Memorial Day, folx! I finally relented on No Mow May today and sheered about 8 million dandelions from my backyard. Do you know the meaning of “deadhead”? Other than being one of the greatest Devin Townsend songs. Oh, and that other band with Jerry Garcia. Oh, and the trucker slang. That’s right — the fourth guess did the trick! It’s when you pop the head off a dandelion. I suppose you could do this maliciously while cackling, but I do it with a lawnmower that dates to the 1980s. Have I succeeded in giving you a feeling that my life is ultra-exciting like Grey’s? 

And now, much like Grey, let’s see if we can save your fantasy baseball team as it heads into the 1/3 mark of the season. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I admit: I’m living in a massive contradiction. I tell y’all about pitchers who limit runs, but I’m a glutton for offense. I’ve been around baseball for the better part of three decades, and there’s nothing I find more boring than a 1-0 game. I know defense wins championships, but every time there’s a close play at the bag, I root for the runner. I get to be a part of the baseball blogging community, and I can’t say I have a true favorite pitcher from the modern era. I’m old enough to have watched Nolan Ryan’s farewell tour in person, and who was my favorite pitcher growing up? Jimmy Key. Efficient. No walks. Quick games. Favorite team? The Twins. Efficient. See ball, hit ball. Coming of age in Minneapolis, you could get a student ticket, a beer, and two hot dogs for $10. But that dang fortress of an outfield in the Metrodome — the trash bag in right field, and the plexiglass in left field — that was a nightmare for offense. Y’all remember Kirby Puckett jumping up the plexiglass in the World Series, don’t cha? Nah? Guess we gotta get those copies of This Week in Baseball transferred from VHS.

Enough about my youthful pining for Jimmy Key — a pitcher who cataloged nearly 2600 innings of MLB work while striking out fewer than 6 per 9. By my own algorithm, he’d be Tier 4. Tier 1 in my heart, but ready to let your fantasy team down, eh?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“My wrist, well, guys and gals, chicks and *icks, you’re not gonna believe this, but, it’s 100%. My wrist is healed. It’s the best it’s ever felt. My wrist feels like Elton John during his imperial phase. My wrist is playing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, and people aren’t hearing crap, but they’re hearing a masterpiece. My wrist is Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, doing all kinds of crazy judo chops in the supermarket aisle, and people are believing it, and are riveted. My wrist is Ty Cobb without the racism. My wrist is perfect!” This was a quote from Alex Kirilloff this year, and last year, and the year before. He was called up by the Twins, and played 1st yesterday (1-for-2). Kirilloff has been struggling with wrist issues since 2021. Almost exactly two years ago, he tore ligaments in his wrist. Those are the worst kind of after-dinner mints. Why do we care? If he’s healthy, he’s a 40-homer hitter with a .280 average. Sadly, we don’t know if we’re ever getting the purported strong-wristed Elton John or a limp-wristed Kirilloff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?