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Bubic Job for the Twins

May 29, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 27 Comments

by: Dan Pants

Kris Bubic picked up his first win of the season Friday night, pitching six strong innings allowing just six base runners, one earned run and striking out five in an impressive win on the road. It was his third quality start of the year and second in his past three starts and he’s now rocking a pristine 1.52 ERA and 1.11 WHIP through 29.2 innings. OK, wow, that’s pretty good, I guess. What’d you say your name was again? Bubic? Like Boob? Lol nice. OK then, time to see what all the Hub-Bubic is about here. After starting the year out of the pen, Kris got his chance to shine in the rotation and has pitched “admirably” over his past five starts going at least five innings and allowing less than 2 ER in each outing. Hmm, for all my Martin Perez stans out there, Kris Bubic sounds like he might be right up your alley. A quick glance at his next level stats show Bubic might be pitching a little over his head. The 4.25 BB/9 is especially concerning. Yo, I’m saying I’m concerned. I’m saying dude’s been luckier than Ben Affleck’s second chance at JLo. I’ve been waiting almost 20 years for Gigli 2, don’t blow this for us, Ben! Basically Bubic is walking way too many batters to remain as effective as he has been, and issues with control have been his problem in the past. It’s not as if he’s counterbalancing that control with awesome strikeout numbers either. His 6.67 K/9 is a whole lot of meh and makes me sleepier than that melatonin pen that teenager told me to buy on TikTok. In other words, Kris Bubic has had some good luck on his side to date, and it certainly doesn’t hurt that he’s faced Detroit twice, and his most impressive performance was his first against an extremely lethargic Milwaukee offense. He’ll get a chance to show me if he’s the real deal next week in a rematch with the Twins, but for now he’s in the scary-but-slightly-intriguing streaming territory for me. The fans aren’t booing! They’re saying Boo-bic! Boo-bic! But more importantly, let’s get Gigli 2 into production asap as possible.

Here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe You Can Teach A Dietrich To An Old Dog

May 6, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 616 Comments

by: Grey

On April 7th, Derek Dietrich admired his 3rd home run of the season for an ungodly amount of time. The last straw for the opposing team was when he paused before running to first, placed a Craigslist ad, waited five days for a sketch artist to respond, then had the sketch artist draw him rounding the bases. Then when he got to third and saw the first draft of the drawing, yelled, “No freakin’ charcoal,” and paused for another few days to find someone who worked in pen. After that display, everyone was calling Dereck Dietrich a hot dog, even the world’s leading critic of hot dogs, the guy driving the Weinermobile. Of course, none of this was blown out of proportion like Tim Anderson. Cut to weeks later and we’ve realized why Dietrich wanted to study his home run trot. He was perfecting it. On Friday, he hit his 6th and 7th homers, then his 8th homer on Saturday and his 9th homer on Sunday (1-for-3, hitting .257). I doubt it continues, but I also can’t imagine a reason to not ride the hot schmotato while it’s going on. As 50 Cent’s fantasy baseball team is named: Get Dietrich or Dietrich Tryin’. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

K-naldo Lopez

April 29, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 684 Comments

by: Grey

Subliminally, I nod my whenever Reynaldo Lopez is mentioned. It’s a disease similar to Jimmy Legs; it’s called Lo-Pez Head. Yesterday, my Lo-Pez Head nodded for all the good he was doing (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunenrs (3 BBs), 14 Ks, ERA at 6.03). Lopez faced Murmurer’s Row of Detroit and sent them down, down, down, down–how many downs is that? 4 downs at three downs per down, that’s still only 12 downs and he had 14. Damn, that’s too many Ks for even the Alt-Right Sox. Usually Reynaldo Lopez rattles off a bag of Dick Poles. Am I now interested? Do I look *makes nutter rolly finger motion on side of head*? He was once a big-time prospect with a mid-90s MPH fastball that can hit straight-boing type levels. I see his current 11.2 K/9 and get weak in the knees, can barely speak, but his 4.9 BB/9 is his usual Pitfall Harry and his 5.47 xFIP doesn’t scream confidence like a man with 100-point font. I’d continue to view him as a streamer for now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buymel Tapia

April 26, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 551 Comments

by: Grey

*blows dust off cover to the book, “Raimel Tapia, Fantasy Sleeper”* Just found this book on a shelf in this Colorado-area bookstore. “I think this is yours.” The bookstore owner holds up a copy of, “Josh Rutledge’s Fantasy Sleeper.” Haha, no, that’s not mine. “It says “Property of Grey Albright.” Can I just read from one of your other books in peace without paying for it? No wonder bookstores are all going out of business, you don’t leave your customers alone! Any hoo, as I was saying about Raimel Tapia, he was a 2015 Pick-to-Click, a 2016 Gotz-to-Getz-Him, a 2017 This-is-the-Year and a 2018 Absolute-Must-Own for a reason. He has 15-homer power and 25-steal speed who shouldn’t hurt you in average (think .270). The problem for so long has been the Rockies’ inability to kowtow to fantasy owners and play the sexy guys. Not unrelated, Garrett Hampson is due for everyday playing time in 2023. However, something interesting has happened recently — interesting is subjective but if you’re reading this I assume it applies — Ian Desmond has been getting benched regularly. Finally! If Tapia gets 5+ starts a week, he is a Pick-to-Click-Gotz-to-Getz-Him-This-is-the-Year-Absolute-Must-Own in all leagues. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Baseball Podcast: Ron Swanson Loves Meat

April 25, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Ditka, Razzball Podcast | 1 Comment

by: B_Don

Ron Swanson: Lover of meat, woodworking, hunting, whisky, and breakfast foods. Also, a promising rookie pitcher for the Seattle Mariners. That’s Erik Swanson, dummy. Who keeps inviting the random italicized voice and why is it so condescending?

Donkey Teeth and B_Don discuss the ins and outs of young Erik Swanson’s game, only hours prior to Swanson’s second major league start against the San Diego Padres. They then take a look at an early pitching breakout candidate, Matt (Matthew?) Boyd. Can these guys please stop changing their names on us already?

In the final segment, a bunch of hot pickup names are flipped around, fresh off the grill: Cole Tucker, Michael Chavis, Renato Nunez, Hunter Dozier, Mike Soroka, Mike Tauchman, Jesus Luzardo, and Alex Reyes, just to name more than a few. Grab your sausage and prepare for pleasuring on this week’s episode of the world’s #1 fantasy sausage podcast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Phils Met A 10 Wheeler With a Spare K And Got Steamrolled

April 24, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 738 Comments

by: Grey

It had been so long since I drafted Zack Wheeler (7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners (zero walks), 11 Ks, ERA at 4.85) in multiple leagues, and, after so many subpar efforts, I was beginning to forget why I drafted him as my number two. Was a number two a harbinger of things to come, I asked myself while sitting on the toilet. His control in previous starts left something to be desired, which is the understatement of the year after: Christian Yelich’s poster is on just a few ceilings in Milwaukee of couples who are trying to have a baby. And the guys are the ones looking up. Yesterday, Wheeler pinged up on my iCal, reminding me why I wanted to own him. If you weren’t able to see him or the highlights, he is the first pitcher to throw 100 MPH and pitchslap the opposing pitcher, Zach Eflin (4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.15) with a 100+ MPH exit velocity. “I’d like to report a Zack on Zach crime.” 911 Operator, “Is it a H or K on the first Zack?” “Get down here!” If Wheeler pitches like he did yesterday, he’s not a number two. Dot dot dot. He’s a number one! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Noticias En Vizcaino No Es Bueno

April 18, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 655 Comments

by: Grey

Arodys Vizcaino is out for the year. Backdate that to spring training when he was having arm issues. He needed to have his labrum fixed worse than an overworked gymnast. Filling in for him is the dumpster fire that is A.J. Minter. I’ve got a wild idea, hey, Braves, how about you sign Craig Kimbrel with the money you robbed from Albies? Here’s Albies agent before the signing, “Albies, sure you want to take this deal?” Albies replied, “Why are you asking, Al B. Sure?” Then they stared at each other for five minutes until Albies had enough and signed. The Braves’ bullpen is such a disarray of WUT, I don’t even know who their setup man is. I guess it’s the guy working the docks in The Wire, but it could be the guy whose name was Riddle, but, due to poor penmanship, became Biddle. A millennial just broke down my door and said, “It’s penpersonship.” My bad! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

German Almost Goes Nein In Nine

April 15, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 572 Comments

by: Grey

As Ice Cube sang on the now-iconic song, It Was An Away Game, “Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God. Today, German was away, carrying my whole squad.” Then later on, he sings, “I felt ill after that big fat DeSclafani, pitching like he just pulled out of bed in jammies, but German killed those baserunners like every role by Allison Janney. And my teams run deep so deep so deep I’d put your ass to sleep talking about how on one team Alex Cobb’s my number one, but I didn’t hesitate to call German Marquez my top gun.” Imagine you were a Rockies fan who only watched home games, the team’s contract with German Marquez (9 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 0 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.00) would be tré confusing. After 100 pitches, he is so low effort throwing 97 MPH in the 9th inning, and occasionally drops in an off-the-table curve that is freaking brothers every way like M.J. I can’t believe today German’s game was away. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?