You know that expression, “If you’re alive long enough, you will see a time when Samoans are skinny, petite men who request silver dollar-sized coconuts to cover their nipples.” You don’t know it? That’s because I just made it up! You’ve been TRICK’D! It’s my spinoff of Punk’d with your host The Amazing Johnathan. The expression’s sentiments I just made up are accurate, however (as far as I’m concerned, and, sadly, this isn’t a democracy, and I’m the one that matters). The expression’s root is from the actual expression, “If you live long enough, you’ll experience everything.” This feels especially apt today because we’ve gone from wanting to own Miguel Sano, to cursing Miguel Sano, back to wanting to own him again. What’s next? A skinny Miguel Sano requesting smaller coconuts to cover his nipples! Okay, maybe not immediately, but if we live long enough! I don’t have any great hopes for Miguel Sano, but he’s owned in 30% of leagues and that seems low for even him. There’s not a ton of guys who can hit 15 homers from now until the end of the season; Sano’s on that list. Will it happen? I don’t know, maybe if we live long enough. Circular logic is your friend because it too can cover your nipples. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Bobby Wahl to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Know why Steve Pearce went off yesterday for three homers (3-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th, 7th and 8th homer)? Because he’s only owned in 3% of fantasy leagues. That’s spiteful, Steve Pearce. Spite is one of the seven deadliest sins. Right after that soup the fat guy ate in Se7en. Not to be confused with Goop, which is Paltrow’s career after she stopped being harassed by Harvey Weinstein. Allow a gross, sweaty producer to rub his genitals against you in unwanted advances, win an Oscar. Sleep with that guy from Coldplay, do movies with Huey Lewis. Speaking of Coldplay, Pearce has been terrible for the last few weeks, but the Sawx have committed to Pearce in a favorable lineup spot, at least against lefties, which he’s rewarded them with solid production (hitting near-.360 vs. lefties). He’s not quite at a Goop-level bounce back, but he is above starring with Huey Lewis and/or Chris Martin. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?