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Feels oddly fated that the Yankees land right behind the Red Sox in the sequence I’ve chosen: alphabetically, division by division. It’s more than Babe Ruth and Bucky Dent linking the legacies of these organizations. It’s the Razz Prospect Rundown now, too! 

Okay, enough hilarity. Baseball’s all business in the AL East. Everywhere, really. If I start writing in this thought space at all, I’ll lose my shizz over the hyper-capitalist, negotiating-table Designated Hizzer shizz that’s shizzing all over the off-season. 

Deep breaths. 

I spelled “hizzer” that way because I couldn’t say “Designated Hitter shizz that’s shizzing” when I read the sentence back to myself. 

Like, my tongue would refuse to make the sounds so matter how hard I focused. 

I was saying “designated hizzer shizz” when I tried to read the whole sentence. 

And I liked it.

Let’s do the prospect thing.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cue the Darth Vader music: here comes the evil empire. 

Only problem with that is the current Collective Bargaining Agreement makes the Yankees seem like a force for good in the game. Brian Cashman’s clever management of an enormous budget makes the never-Tankees a sustainable monster. 

Side note: it’s not just greed that keeps owners from spending. Talent-acquisition penalties and revenue sharing connected to the luxury tax keeps owners from spending. 

According to Bryan Hoch of mlb.com: “Since Cole received a qualifying offer, the Astros will receive a pick after Competitive Balance Round B, and the Yankees will lose their second-and fifth-highest selections, as well as $1 million from their international bonus pool for the upcoming signing period. Houston’s pick, at the moment, is No. 74 overall, though that will most likely change with subsequent signings/compensations.”

You won’t see this discussed or even reported very often in the conversation about Cole’s contract. The younger brother of Fernando Tatis Jr., Elijah, just signed with the White Sox for $400,000. Their dad thinks he has the best power in the family. So the Yankees forfeit two-point-five Tatis brothers here, just because they wanted to pay a great player a lot of money. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?